#2395 IT'S THE ANSWER BEAR III (Fri, 2006 Jan 13)

DEAR ANSWER BEAR                                           
                                                           
HI IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE READ YOUR COLUMN           
BUT I HAVE THIS PERSISTENT PROBLEM THAT I THINK            
IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT I SOLVED                              
                                                           
WELL I GUESS I SHOULD GET RIGHT TO IT                      
                                                           
MY PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE A REALLY HAIRY ASS AND           
NO MATTER HOW I POO OR WIPE AFTERWARDS IT JUST SMEARS      
EVERYWHERE                                                 
                                                           
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER I WIPE FRONT TO BACK OR BACK     
TO FRONT WHILE SITTING DOWN OR IF I STAND UP FIRST OR IF   
I TRY THE OLD NINJA PINCHING MOTION IT JUST GETS EVERYWHERE
AND THEN IT'S WIPE CITY                                    
                                                           
DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ????                           
                                                           
SIGNED, MESSY IN MINNESOTA                                 
                                                           
                                                           
                                                           
THE ANSWER BEAR ANSWERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                  
                                                           
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    |    IT'S CALLED     |                                 
    |    A SHOWER YOU    |                                 
    |  DISGUSTING FREAK  |