OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
           O Issue 36 Thursday 3rd September 1998 O
           OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


           ((  ___                 ))
              /   \    ,___,_|_  _
             (    \) / | / \ |  /_\
              \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__,
                  of the day

"It's  a  scientific fact that if you stay in California you lose one point
of your IQ every year." - Truman Capote

              ___   __    ___  ___
             | |_  / /|  / /   | |
             |_|  /_/ |  \_\_  |_|
                  of the day

To  'crack'  a  whip,  the  tip must be travelling faster than the speed of
sound.


      ____   _____W E_I_R D ____    __  __
     /  __) (_   _) /  O\  (   O\  (_ \/ _)
     \__  \   | |  (     )  | _ <    \  /
     (____/  (___)  \___/  (__|\_)   (__)
              O F  T H E  D A Y


Rather  than  let  gay high school students form a club, the Salt Lake City
School  Board  voted  to  ban  all non-academic organizations in the city's
three  area  high  schools.   The  move affects some 30 service, ethnic and
sports  clubs.   "Everyone  suffers  because of the gays," complained Brett
Shields,  16, a member of East High's Beef Club, which the Associated Press
reported  met  "to  eat  steaks  and  burgers  and attend a 'monster truck'
rally." (4/24/96)

                _     _
               | |_  (_)doubtfully
               |  _|  _    _useful
               | |   | |  |  _ \
               | |   | |  | |_) )
               |_|   |_|  |  __/
                  of the  | |
                   day    |_|


Peppermint oil  on a tissue when sniffed can help combat travel sickness.

              ____  __   ___
             //_// ((   //    // //
            (( ((  _)) ((__  (( ((
                  of the day




         _..._                                 ___ ___
      _."     "._      THE VEX FILES  #2      /-_-/-  \
   .-"/         \"-.                         ///--_-\\\\
 ."   -.__   __.-   ".                       |// " \\\\|
 \       /"""\       /                       \/____ \///
 \"-._  /\___/\  _..--.                       /-) -  |/
  "-._""-/___\-""_/    \    .---.             \/    /.)
  _/  ""-\___/-"" \    /   / _  _\            (_)    |__
         /___\     \ _/    \ \><//             \--'__| /
         \___/      / \\  \ \  "/ /        .---`-'.__./\
            ___   \/\  \   \/\o/\/       .'/"\_/""      \
           /   \     \_/    \   /      .'__| /           |
          /   \ \    / \_    \_/     .'/ /  /   /   |    |
      ___/__n__\/   _\   `   / \    c-+----'   /    |   / \
     / /  / *:              _\  \_  E_|____   /\   ___ /--'
       \_/) ::#  ..                  \\\\  """         \ /
       | \  :DrS:.                    \\ \              |
      _/ /_``:%:'.                     |\  \          / |
                                       | /             /
                                       \  /      |   \ \
    Mouldy reveals the real            /  _____   ____  \ DrS.
    reason for the long               `--"\  \ """\  \"-'
    raincoats.                             \  \   _\  \
                                        .__/--|  ( `--|
                                       (___.__|   `|__|





            +--------------------------------------+
            | Issue 37 Monday 21st September 1998  |
            +--------------------------------------+


           ((  ___                 ))
              /   \    ,___,_|_  _
             (    \) / | / \ |  /_\
              \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__,
                  of the day

"People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to
a sticky end.  All over the entire room, sometimes." - Terry Pratchett

              ___   __    ___  ___
             | |_  / /|  / /   | |
             |_|  /_/ |  \_\_  |_|
                  of the day

There  are  more nutrients in the cornflake packet itself than there are in
the actual cornflake.


      ____   _____W E_I_R D ____    __  __
     /  __) (_   _) /  O\  (   O\  (_ \/ _)
     \__  \   | |  (     )  | _ <    \  /
     (____/  (___)  \___/  (__|\_)   (__)
              O F  T H E  D A Y

1992  --  Agence France Presse reported in March that Michael Balama, 45, a
farmer  and  father  of  nine children, has resurfaced, living in a tree in
Pankshin, Nigeria, after having disappeared two weeks earlier from a nearby
tree in which he had been living for five years.  He said he wanted to come
down but couldn't because "some people are holding me." Balama's wife said,
"What  I miss about Michael is that we can no longer make love together and
produce more children." Balama eats food prepared by his wife and neighbors
by climbing down to lower branches to retrieve it
                _     _
               | |_  (_)doubtfully
               |  _|  _    _useful
               | |   | |  |  _ \
               | |   | |  | |_) )
               |_|   |_|  |  __/
                  of the  | |
                   day    |_|

The  best place to store tomatoes is in a bowl at room temperature, and NOT
in the fridge.
              ____  __   ___
             //_// ((   //    // //
            (( ((  _)) ((__  (( ((
                  of the day



                                         (~~~~~~~~)
                                          |      |
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                    /     \          \ \//        \ |    |
                   :  / \-OO          '-'    /__\  \|    |
          .-.      : (___) 0          //      //   /     |
          | |       \  (_) |         //..---------'      |
          | |  _____/.__ _/_________(/_||                |
          | |-|         \\             ||                |
      ____'-'-'----------O-------------||                |
     (______________)               |==||                |
     |              |               |  ||                |
     |              |               |  ||                |
     |              |               |  ||                |-abg
     |              |               |  ||                |
     |              |               |  ||                |
     |              |               |  ||                |
     '--------------'               '--''----------------'






        ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
        OIssue 38 Tuesday September 22nd 1998 O
        ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


           ((  ___                 ))
              /   \    ,___,_|_  _
             (    \) / | / \ |  /_\
              \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__,
                  of the day

"It  is  important to realize that any lock can be picked with a big enough
hammer." - Sun System & Network Admin manual

              ___   __    ___  ___
             | |_  / /|  / /   | |
             |_|  /_/ |  \_\_  |_|
                  of the day

Only 1 child in 20 are born on the day predicted by the doctor.


      ____   _____W E_I_R D ____    __  __
     /  __) (_   _) /  O\  (   O\  (_ \/ _)
     \__  \   | |  (     )  | _ <    \  /
     (____/  (___)  \___/  (__|\_)   (__)
              O F  T H E  D A Y


1993  --  Ella  Bagwell  filed a lawsuit against the owners of the Friendly
Food Mart near Anderson, S.C., in February, claiming they failed to pay off
on a video poker game in the store.  She claimed that the store's clerks by
custom  paid  25  cents for each replay earned on the machine, that one day
she  won  999,999 free games, and that she is thus entitled to $249,999.75.
The store owners said the machine must have malfunctioned.

                _     _
               | |_  (_)doubtfully
               |  _|  _    _useful
               | |   | |  |  _ \
               | |   | |  | |_) )
               |_|   |_|  |  __/
                  of the  | |
                   day    |_|


When  in  the  garden  cover  your  drinks  with Clingfilm and poke a straw
through it to keep insects out and help prevent spills.

              ____  __   ___
             //_// ((   //    // //
            (( ((  _)) ((__  (( ((
                  of the day


                      /\.
        /\.    _-_           /:_\/.
ejm98  /:_\/ /'. .'\ ___    /__:_\/ .
            /(|`/ !)\  /:__/__:___\/./
           |  \ = /  |/ / /\:___:__\/
            `  ---  ./ / / /\
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      /     /XXX/     ! `/
     |_|_|_|XXX|_|_|_'|_/
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  ./|~|\  ~)                        ~)------------_
  /'/'/'|'.(_/^\           ~)     .'(_/^\.  ~)    ----------_
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           /'/'/'|''(_/^\'   /|~|\  / / / |   /|~|\''(_/^\
                     /|~|\  / / / |          / / / |  /|~|\
                    / / / |                          / / / |






        ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
        OIssue 39 Wednesday September 23rd 1998 O
        ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


           ((  ___                 ))
              /   \    ,___,_|_  _
             (    \) / | / \ |  /_\
              \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__,
                  of the day

"If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup." - Turkish proverb

              ___   __    ___  ___
             | |_  / /|  / /   | |
             |_|  /_/ |  \_\_  |_|
                  of the day


In  the  film  'Star Trek :  First Contact', when Picard shows Lilly she is
orbiting  Earth,  Australia and Papa New Guinea are clearly visible ..  but
New Zealand is missing .


      ____   _____W E_I_R D ____    __  __
     /  __) (_   _) /  O\  (   O\  (_ \/ _)
     \__  \   | |  (     )  | _ <    \  /
     (____/  (___)  \___/  (__|\_)   (__)
              O F  T H E  D A Y


Police  in  Fort Collins, CO, charged Steven E.  Peterson, 32, with robbing
the  same  7-Eleven  twice  in  one day, telling the clerk after the second
holdup  that he would be back in a few hours to rob the place a third time.
True  to  his word, he returned and was arrested by detectives still in the
store investigating the second robbery.

                _     _
               | |_  (_)doubtfully
               |  _|  _    _useful
               | |   | |  |  _ \
               | |   | |  | |_) )
               |_|   |_|  |  __/
                  of the  | |
                   day    |_|

Cut  yourself shaving?  Hold an ice cube over the cut and the bleeding will
stop quicker.

              ____  __   ___
             //_// ((   //    // //
            (( ((  _)) ((__  (( ((
                  of the day



 .                          +
           +                                                    .
                                     ___       .
     .                        _.--"~~ __"-.
                           ,-"     .-~  ~"-\              .
              .          .^       /       ( )      .
                    +   {_.---._ /         ~
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             .            ^.       "-.           -Row         .
                            "-._      ~-.___,
                      .         "--.._____.^
       .                                         .
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       8888888888888888888888888888888888888
       8 Issue 40 Monday September 28 1998 8
       8888888888888888888888888888888888888


           ((  ___                 ))
              /   \    ,___,_|_  _
             (    \) / | / \ |  /_\
              \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__,
                  of the day

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

              ___   __    ___  ___
             | |_  / /|  / /   | |
             |_|  /_/ |  \_\_  |_|
                  of the day

Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

      ____   _____W E_I_R D ____    __  __
     /  __) (_   _) /  O\  (   O\  (_ \/ _)
     \__  \   | |  (     )  | _ <    \  /
     (____/  (___)  \___/  (__|\_)   (__)
              O F  T H E  D A Y

1993  --  In  a  1992  issue  of  Sexual  and  Marital Therapy journal, two
therapists  at  the  Institute  of Psychiatry in London described "orgasmic
reconditioning"  they  performed  on  their  patient, George, age 20.  They
reported  "partial"  success  in  getting George to switch his masturbatory
stimuli  from  the  family  car,  an  Austin Metro, to photographs of naked
women.  George had reported arousal previously only when sitting in the car
or  when  squatting  behind it while the engine was running.  (Before that,
George  was  sexually  preoccupied  with  urination  by  dogs, children and
women.)

                _     _
               | |_  (_)doubtfully
               |  _|  _    _useful
               | |   | |  |  _ \
               | |   | |  | |_) )
               |_|   |_|  |  __/
                  of the  | |
                   day    |_|

Make  your car stereo less appealing to thieves by placing a chewed up tape
on the dashboard.

              ____  __   ___
             //_// ((   //    // //
            (( ((  _)) ((__  (( ((
                  of the day

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"Now, we dump in a few cups
 of laundry 'tergent. Turn
   the water to hot, and
    then start it going."
               /
              /         /__
        \\\\  _        //_/|
        ( oo(|_|______//  ||
   ))))  \o/// /_____//___||
   ( oo  /\// |           ||
    \-/  |\/| |           ||
    //\  |__| |           ||
    \\|  | || |           ||
    |||  |_|| |           || /
    (_)) (_)_)|___________|//
                       jro /
                          /
               __________/

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                       "Now, all we have to do is wait" |\
                    ((((       \                        | \
                    ( oo        \                       |
              _______\-/__    ____(////___              |
             / O *  // \\g\  / O //oo )ag \             |
             |_____ \\\|\\|  |___\\\o/____|             |
            | _____(_)(_)_ ||     \  \\    |            |
            ||            |||      | //    |            |
            ||           ]|||      |_\)    |            |
   /\  ____ ||            |||      /||     |  _______   |
 [|  ||Tide|||____________|||      \||     |  |#####|   |
__|__||____||______________||______((_)____|__|#####|___|
                                              |#####| jro\


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                                                        |\
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                    ( oo                                |
              _______\-/__    ____(////___              |
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             |______\\\|\\|  |___\\\-/____|             |
            | _____(_)(_)_ ||     \  \\    |            |
            ||            |||      | //    |            |
            ||           ]|||      |_\)    |            |
   /\  ____ ||            |||      /||     |  _______   |
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__|__||____||______________||______((_)____|__|#####|___|
                                              |#####| jro\


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           "See? If that's not totally cool, then I don't
            know what is.  All those red clothes and white
            clothes are now just as pink as they can get."
                    ))))         \                      | \
                    ( oo        ________                |
              ______ \-/__    _|   ////)|_              |
             / O *  // \\g\  / |  (\\\)\| \             |
             |_____/////\\|  |_|___\_///|_|             |
            | ____(_)(_)__ ||     //  /    |            |
            ||            |||     \\ |     |            |
            ||           ]|||     (/_|     |            |
   /\  ____ ||            |||      |||     |  _______   |
 [|  ||Tide|||____________|||      |||     |  |#####|   |
__|__||____||______________||_____(_))_____|__|#####|___|
                                              |#####| jro\

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