+----+ | 46 | +----+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day No matter its size or thickness, no piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y Chinese inventor Pu Danming recently claimed he had sold 50,000 of the "healthy cigarettes" that he introduced in Beijing in November. The product is a cigarillo-sized tube containing Chinese herbs plus a small battery and microchip and a dozen other components, but no tobacco. The cigarette is not lighted; rather, when the "smoker" takes a puff, a light flashes on the end to imitate a burning ash. Also, the cigarette plays a patriotic song when puffed on, and, said Pu, "The mixture (of herbs) is also good against cancer." (5/2/96) _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| If you're going swimming but it's less than warm outside, wrap your towel in a hot water bottle before you leave. Heavenly when you get out of the pool! ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day .----. .' \__ '. | __| _ : V\/(0I0\/ |/ \ : / ' (oYo) /` `\__ _| _ Vuu: , |uV\/ \| \_/| : /\ : snd \ -' / '-.___.-' <> = <; +----+ | 47 | +----+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability." - Oscar Wilde ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day A manned rocket can reach the moon in less time than it used to take to travel the length of England by stagecoach. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y [THIS ONE'S FOR PEOPLE LIKE RUTH WHO'LL KNOW WHY I INCLUDED IT! :-) ] 1996 -- Kraft Food Co. announced in December that Rob Watkins, 35, of Odessa, Ontario, is the king of Kraft (macaroni and cheese) Dinners. Watkins claims to have eaten 10,000 of them over his lifetime, including many days in which each of his three meals was Kraft Dinner. "I don't consider it an addiction," he said. "I honestly don't get sick of it." _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| Try curtain wire on a sink blockage - it slips round the u-bend easily. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day _________,---------.____------.___ /_______ `--._______ `--.____ \\ /__.-' `-----.____ `--.____\\`_/_ ,' ___ `---.___ ___// `-. / _.-' )' ``---' \ \ | / | . ' | / / / | ' ___ ) | | | | | _/` _ ` _,' _ `/) ' | \_ `--._\__`--'_\-___ _,-' '-` ___ _/ `---.____ `--.__-_ /_)____, __/ ,`-' `------__> `-------(/(/-'-\)\ +----+ | 48 | +----+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." - eeyore ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day The producers of Riverdance have admitted that most of what the audience hears - not just the singing but the sounds of happy Irish feet tapping away like victims of some bizarre whiskey-induced nervous tic too - are pre-recorded. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y Norwegian scientists have discovered four polar-bear cubs in the Arctic territory of Svalbard - all of them hermaphroditic, with male and female sex organs. The mutation is being blamed on PCBs, a chemical which is known to cause sex-changes and defects in fish and reptiles, but this is the first time it'd been noted in a mammal at the top of its food chain, like polar bears or humans. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| To ease the symptoms of the common cold, make a cup of decaffeinated spice tea. Add lemon and honey, and wait until it cools slightly. The tea is soothing and hot, which will combat stuffiness and open up the nasal passages. The honey in the tea can help soothe a sore throat as well. The lemon soothes and coats the throat with vitamin C. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day ._ . |_`-| ,' `||`-' : ' `. ,: \ '`> / `.`.\ ; ; / `.`. | ; / `|r.: \ `.`\ _,; `. '`..-:-`':. `. ' `. `:. `.\ ``. _,-;' `. >/ O| , _,-7 _,-|. :/ | . , . .-',-'`.,-:-' ||`. | : .-' , . | ,',' `T `' `. ; / , jv | /,' _>. _,-' `.\ ; ., T._o:_L __,-' `-' O _,- ' \.<`---' O _,-' \ _,-' ,`. _, ,',,,-' ;(`-(, ' , ' +----+ | 49 | +----+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "I think the country could be spared a lot of agony and the government could worry about inflation and a lot of other problems if [Nixon would] go on and resign." "[There is] no question that an admission of making false statements to government officials and interfering with the FBI and the CIA is an impeachable offense." - Bill Clinton -- then the Attorney General for Arkansas (and a candidate for its 12th Congressional District) [ 8 August 1974 ] ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day A Star Wars trading card depicts the droid C-3P0 with an oversized penis. The second-most notorious obscene trading card in history is the C-3P0 card from Topps' 1978 Star Wars set. Card #207 (fourth series) shows the famous golden droid sporting a penis that would put John Holmes to shame. (For pictorial evidence see the Urban Legends reference Page at: http://snopes.simplenet.com/ ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y Building renovators in the town of Echo, investigating the attic of their city hall, discovered that it was filled with five-and-a-half tons of pigeon poop, which had been slowly accumulating there since 1916 and which was now threatening to collapse the roof. It took a crew five days to clear the space using shovels and vacuum cleaners. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| To remove a burn mark from a saucepan, rub it with a cork dipped in salt. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day ___,A.A_ __ \ , 7"_/ ~"T( r r) | \ Y | ~\ .| | |`-' | | | | | | | | j l / \ Y Y l \ : | /\ )( ( / \ I| |\ Y I l| | Y j ( )( ) l / . \ ` | |\ -Row Y \ i | ! Y l .\_ I |/ | \ / [\[][]/] j ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ->Giraffe<-