+------------------------+ |Issue 6 fri 17 july 1998| +------------------------+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is." - Helen Rowland ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day According to an old English system of time units, a moment is one and a half minutes. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y 1997 -- In September in East Orange, Vt., Christie's auction house sold almost $2 million worth of automobiles (including 33 Stutz Bearcats) that belonged to eccentrics A.K. Miller, who died at 87 a few years ago, and his wife, Imogene, who died in 1996. The couple left millions more in gold and silver and other valuables but lived like paupers, sometimes eating dog food or bread made of flour they had swept off the floor, sometimes shopping at yard sales, sometimes dressing in rags. As treasurer of his church, Mr. Miller had once refused to accept a small increase in electricity rates and converted the entire church to kerosene lamps. The Millers paid property taxes but no other ones, and the federal and state governments are now claiming $8.2 million. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| To make Yoghurt: Save about 1/2 cup of yoghurt from the last batch. Warm 1 litre (or more if your container is big enough) of skim milk. Don't boil. Mix in saved yoghurt. Put into a plastic container with a good fitting lid. An old yoghurt container with lid is fine (and cheap). Let stand in a warm place. I heat the oven up to about 50C, and turn it off, and place the yoghurt in there. It may be necessary to reheat the oven taking care not to over heat or the plastic will melt all over the place. I leave it then for a day or so until it is set, then refrigerate and use at will. I found that it tends to be a bit runny though but otherwise tastes the same. A variation of the above is to put the yoghurt mix into a wide necked vacuum flask and let sit for at least 8 hours. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day [Wanna see a naked guy for a change? tadaaa...] _________-----, /\ / /\ / /____/ _\ \ / _o//__ _ | \ /_______ / / _ \ / | | \/ |____| \/|, .''''' |\/ \)) */* D -((/ / _ )| \_7 ( |( / |_____| |_____| \ \____ - ____/ \. % .| | ' | | , | \ ( ( / %% ) / (/ \ / / | / (, / (, ( \ ) | ) \ | | / \| |/ _ __/( )\__ ___,/ ',_ b'ger ,,,,,,/'___\,/___'/,,,,,,,,,,/ \- / |-,_ /\___._/ /-'_ \ \_.-' +===============================+ |Issue 7 Saturday 18th July 1998| +===============================+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747." - Willy Rushton ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day Comfrey (herb) baths were popular before the wedding night to attempt to repair the hymen and thereby apparently restore virginity. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y In 1898, 14 years prior to Titanic's sinking, English author Morgan Robertson wrote a fictional book called "Futility". The book was about the largest passenger liner ever built, the "Titan". The Titan sets sail across the Atlantic in the month of April on her maiden voyage. The Titan is going too fast that night. They are overconfident and think she is unsinkable. The Titan strikes an iceberg, and sinks, taking most of the passengers with her because she only has lifeboats for a small fraction of the 2,000 people on board. (Robertson was trying to illustrate mankind's growing lack of respect for the forces of nature, and the increasingly dangerous reliance on technology with the book.) Robertson's Titan is almost exactly the same length and tonnage of the Titanic. His has Triple Screws, and can carry as much as 3,000 people, much like the Titanic. And the fictional ship is packed with rich celebrities, who's money and status can't save them, much like the actual one. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| Run out of laundry softener? Hair conditioner is chemically almost exactly the same, and will probably leave your clothes even softer than usual. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day . `. ... `. .. `. `. `. ___`.\.// `---.--- / \.-- / \- | /\ \ |\==/\==/ | | `@'`@' .--. .--------. ) .' . `._/ / | \ . / | | / | | .' | .--. .'`. .'_ | / \ .' `.__.--'.--`. / .' | .' .| \\ |_/ | .' .' | \\ | .-`. / | . __ | .' `. \ | ` .' ) \ / \ / \ | .-' / | ( / \ / \ | | | \/ ( \/ | | ( / ) / / _.----| \/ // / .' |.-' ` ( /( / / / `. | `.( `-') .---. | `. `._/ `._.' / `. .---. | . `._.' | \ / `. \ `.___.' | Y `. `.___.' | . | \ \ | `| \ | | | . \ | | | \ \ | .--. | \ | / `. .----. \ / / \/ \ \ / | | \ | / \ | @ \ `-. \ / \ \ \ \|.__.' \ \ \ | \ \ \ | \ \ \ | \ .'`. \ | `.-' `. _.'\ | | `.-' || . \ . `. || .' `. `-.-' `.__.' .' `. .' . .' `. .-' .-' \ \ \ .. \ \ / `-.--.___ __.-.___ `-. \ / # `-._.-' \ `--.__ `-. / #### / ### \ `. ________ / #### ############ | _| .' |\ #### ############## \__.--' | / .' | #################### | | / .' | #### ############### | | / | #### ############### | /| ---- . | #### ############### | .'< ____ .' | #################### | _.'-'\| .' | ################## | | `. ################ | | `. ############ | | ---- ___`. ##### _..____.-' . |`-._ `-._ _.-' \\\ `. .'`-._ `-._ `-._.-'`--.___.-' \ `. .' .. . `-._ `-._ ___.---'| \ \ .' .. . .. . `-._ `-.__.-' | \ \ |`-. . .. . .. . `-._| | \ \ | `-._ . .. . .. .' _| `-._ `-._ . .. .' | __.--' `-._ `-._ .' .'|__.--' VK `-._ `' .' `-._.' +----------------------------------+ |MOTD Issue 8 Sunday July 19th 1998| +----------------------------------+ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "The next generation of interesting software will be made on a Macintosh, not an IBM PC." - Bill Gates, in 1984 ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y 1994 -- According to police in Calgary, Alberta, a local pizzaria contains a dungeonlike 'trick pad' where teen-age girls are forced to work as prostitutes and whose catacomb of rooms is littered with sex magazines, liquor bottles and used condoms. However, health officials who inspected it in December refused to close it down, with Dr. Paul Hasselback saying, "There is no reason to be concerned about the food being served." According to Hasselback, police business and health business are separate matters. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| Ripen green bananas by wrapping in a wet dish towel and placing in a paper bag. ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day ST: Next Generation Crew _______ ( }}}}} ) / \ . . / \ .---. .---. | | ~ | | |/////| .---. /////\\ (__\/=\/__) | . . | |-----| | o o | _______|_|_______ C 7 / :[||||] C 7 / /_______\_/_______\ \/=\/ C ~ / \_-_/ | | (/\)| | _____|_|_____ \_-_/ _____|_|_____ | | | | /_____\_/_____\ _____|_|_____ /_____\_/_____\| | {{{{{{{ | | |.---. (/\)| | /_____\_/_____\ | | (/\)| || |{{{{{{{{{| | /////\\ | | | | (/\)| | | | | || {{{ . . }}} | {{ . . }} | | | | | | | | | ||___}}C ^ /}}___| {C ^ /}__/| | | | | | | | _____/| | / {{{{\_-_/}}}} \ {{\_-_/}} |__| | | _____/| | |__|/ |__| \_{{{{{|_|}}}}}_/ {{{{|_|}}}} |/ \ |__|/ |__| / \| |/ \ / \_______/ \ /____\_/____\ |U)/ / \| |/ \ \(U| | |U)/ | (/\) | | | (/\)| | | \(U| | |U)/ | | | .---. )| | | |\ /| | | | | | | | | |/ \| / | | | |/ \| | | | | | | | | | ' ' | \ | | | | _____/| | | | | | d| | | C 7 / \| | | |/ | | | | | | a| | | \_-_/ |_| |_| |_| | | | | n| | | _____|_|___|_ / \ / \ | / \ | | | | a| | |/_____\_/_____\ U)/ \(U | U)/ | | | | |___|___|| | (/\)| | | | | | |___| |___|___| '97(___|___)| | | | |_| | | |___) (___|___) | | | | |__) | | | | | _____/| | | | | | |__|/ |__| | | | | / \| |/ \ | | | | \(U| | |U)/_| |___|___| | | | |\_\ /_/| |\_\ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |___|___| (___|___) ______________________________ ) ( ( Issue 9 Monday 20th July 1998 ) )_____________________________( (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day Coca-Cola was named back in 1885 for its two "medicinal" ingredients: extract of coca leaves and kola nuts. Just how much cocaine was originally in the formulation is hard to determine, but the drink undeniably contained some cocaine in its early days. ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y During his first day as a writer for Disney Studios, Harlan Ellison was fired for jokingly suggesting a "porn Disney flick" be made. A few hours after arriving for his first day of work at Disney Studios, Ellison and several fellow writers headed off to the studio commissary for lunch. Once there, Ellison jokingly suggested they "do a Disney porn flick" and proceeded to act out the parts while imitating the voices of several animated Disney characters. Unbeknownst to him, Roy Disney and the other studio heads were sitting adjacent to his table. Ellison claims that he returned to his office to find a pink slip on his desk and the name on his parking space whited out. _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| Women can find sweaters and jogging suits in the men's department for less than comparable items in the women's clothing department. (Men's jogging suits are better made, too.) In fact men's clothes on the whole are cheaper and better made than women's so if it fits, buy it! ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day (Hint: This one is a stereogram. ;-) ) g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e a a a a a a a a a a a a a t t t t t t t t t t t <<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>> d d d d d d d d d d d e e e e e e e e e e e e e p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h _____________________________ / \ (Issue 10 Tuesday July 21st 1998) \_____________________________/ (( ___ )) / \ ,___,_|_ _ ( \) / | / \ | /_\ \___/\/\_| \_/ |_/\__, of the day "Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo." - Pooh's Little Instruction Book. ___ __ ___ ___ | |_ / /| / / | | |_| /_/ | \_\_ |_| of the day How did the coke bottle get it's distinctive shape? In those long-ago days, keeping soft drinks chilled was typically accomplished by leaving them in tubs of ice water. This led to confusion and frustration as customers blindly fished around in cold water for the brands they wanted. Finally, a light bulb went off over someone's head -- what if Coca-Cola's bottle had an unusual shape? The days of brand confusion would be over, because a customer could easily pick out an ice-cold Coke by feel alone. A heat wave shut down operations at the Root Glass Company of Terre Haute, Indiana, one of Coca-Cola's bottle suppliers. As a result, there was free time to be frittered away on odd projects. Plant manager Alex Samuelson was puzzling over the Coke bottle design problem when he was struck by an inspiration. What if the bottle were made to resemble the shape of either a kola nut or a coca leaf, the two flagship ingredients the product had been named for? He dispatched one of his employees (a fellow by the name of Clyde Edwards) off to the city library to look up information about those two items. A misunderstanding occurred, leading Edwards to end up on the wrong page of the Encyclopedia Britannica. The sketches he returned with were turned into the bottle design we know and love so much today, but the vertical striations and curved, bulging middle bore no resemblance whatsoever to either the coca leaf or the kola nut. Instead, they were a darned good rendition of a cacao tree seed pod. Yes, cacao. As in chocolate ____ _____W E_I_R D ____ __ __ / __) (_ _) / O\ ( O\ (_ \/ _) \__ \ | | ( ) | _ < \ / (____/ (___) \___/ (__|\_) (__) O F T H E D A Y Ten days after the biggest bank heist --$ 5.4 million-- in Japan's history, the Kobe branch of Fukutoku Bank received a letter of gratitude, presumably from the robbers. "Thank you very much for the bonus," the letter read. "We can live on this loot for life." _ _ | |_ (_)doubtfully | _| _ _useful | | | | | _ \ | | | | | |_) ) |_| |_| | __/ of the | | day |_| It is a common myth that it takes more electricity to turn on a fluorescent light than to leave the light on or that switching fluorescent lights on and off will damage the ballast. Neither myth is true. While excessive switching may shorten the life of a fluorescent tube slightly the most efficient unused light is the one that is turned off! ____ __ ___ //_// (( // // // (( (( _)) ((__ (( (( of the day [The good knight provoking the Dragon.] . , <( .)> //' // ||| __//_ _,,,,, \_///| /___\\ (. __\_ \_,_/ / Q--\' |_o \:::) / | /.(|_______)\___/___/-.| | / /' \ _ ~ \_ / / .---/__ """\_/""_/--' /\......./ (_/_ _,,_/ ;;;;[X];__ /# . ._) . )-----. /. . . .\. / , __> (( | . . . .\|__-( __/ \ . . . .\ |__/ ) .--., ) )/ / X\ (/ __/ O X\ / __/ \ X\ |__/ `._\ )) Xxx< / X\ O X\ \ X\ b'ger ,,`._\,,,,, ,, [The same a few seconds later.] ) ( . * ( ) ) * ( * ( * ) ) (* ,_ _ ||| ////- _,,,,, \_///| \##) (.##__\_ \#,#/ / O |_o \:::) / | /###_______)\_#_/___/# | |##/#/##\ _# ~ \###/### #---/__##"""\#/""_/### /\###..#.# (#/_##,,_# ;;;;[X]#__ /# .###) ##)#----. /. #####\# /# ##,_#> | . .# ##\|##-(###/ \ # .####\ |_## ) ######) )# /## (/ ###/ O # / _## \ X\ |##/ `.# X##< /##\ O #\ \ X\ b'ger # `.# ##### Q## #### \\ \\ \\, <(#.)> ,