________ ________ ________ 2017-10-04 / \/ \/ / \ / __/ /_ _/ Hello there, here's a rambling life / _/ / / happenings update. \_______/_\___/____/\___/____/_ / \/ \/ / \ Microdosing carries on, this is my first / _/ /_ _/ day on the quarter dose of a 60ug tab and /- / _/ / shit's all cool so far but I'm kinda on \________/\________/\___/____/ high-alert for any weirdness. A little worried because the dose is a physically larger piece of the tab so if it was laid lop-sided there's a bigger chance of my world getting wobbly. Friday I finally got to link up with some friends after about ten thousand aborted attempts, we're all busy unfortunately so organising stuff is hard. We got a bit derailed because of the public holiday, we wanted to check out a pinball bar here and that was closed so we went to Pixel Alley instead which should have been open, according to their Facebook page but weren't so we were kinda lost. I was a bit frustrated but we decided to check out a bar/pizza joint called Lazerpig and I'm glad we did, it's cozy and has a nice atmosphere, the pizza was really good and they had Mash's Copycat AIPA on tap. I came clean about the dosing, I'd mentioned it to them once before asking what they thought of it but hadn't told them I was already planning on trying it. The reaction was about what I expected; some interest, only a little drugs-r-bad and throwing out a few gotchas to trip me up. I took it all in stride hahaha. After that we bounced to a new place called BAR SK which styles itself as a "small bar and gallery space for new and playful media" - it was a cute bar! It reminded me of Forgotten Worlds a little bit but much less genuine and no arcade machines, instead they had like loosely videogamey interactive art installations. SK felt like a place that was put together, especially the very manufactured-looking video game bathroom graffiti, whereas Forgotten Worlds felt like a place that evolved organically. It was a really nice space though, and the staff were really welcoming, I'll definitely be back another day. I was surprised how comfortable I felt chatting with the guys there, I don't feel like I'm free from the usual anxiety and stuff but I feel like I can push through it? It's hard to put into words, I'll have to think about it. We spent some time playing a hilariously silly AFL game on NES (It was Grand Final weekend here) and I had a KAIJU! Double IPA which is one of my favorite beers of all time but probably a bad idea after the beer I already had because it's reasonably strong. I was pretty wobbly after that but having a good time. After that we caught a tram back into the city because there was a new eSports bar I wanted to check out called GG-EZ, it was really neat! Underground but big and open, with screens on all the walls showing various game streams. The staff were friendly and the whole atmosphere was really nice. It'll be a fun place to go to come BlizzcCon and the StarCraft II WCS Global Finals, I hope it's around for a while. There I bumped into someone I knew from the Twitter days, she's a moderately popular Twitch streamer now. I bumped into her once before at Forgotten Worlds and she gets an obtuse mention in the phlog I posted about Forgotten Worlds back in July. Here's where, internally, I did a real double take at my behaviour. I was able to go over, say hi and casually talk to her, even though she was with her friends I didn't know and without anyone propping me up, it felt simultaneously so alien and so natural haha. And I know what you're thinking; "Well, Cat, you were fuckin' drunk, lad" - but that's never been the case, I can be staggering and slurring and I still be shy and socially anxious, this was different and felt like a real tangible improvement in my mental health. It felt good. I wonder if she noticed? Actually, I wonder if my friends noticed? In hindsight I wish I hadn't told them about the microdosing and just asked if they noticed a difference in my mood and behaviour. We talked for a bit about long distance relationships and life after Twitter and her studying JavaScript and my trying to study Python, it was really great. I bitch about Twitter being a dumpster fire and it absolutely is but it wasn't always and I genuinely miss some of the friends I made there. After that we hit up my local barcade, Bartronica which, I dunno, I like it there but it always seems hit and miss. I either have a really good time or I have a crummy time. This time it wasn't so bad, we got some beers and played a couple games but mostly just hung out and talked. We left a little while later to get a burger and sat around chatting until we got kicked out hahaha. The guys were thinking about leaving but I wanted to play a little more because I hadn't really done much and it's so hard for us to organise anything I wanted to make the most of it but when we rolled back to Bartronica they'd bumped the music up to 11 and the whole environment was pretty shitty, couldn't talk, could barely think, so we bounced immediately and that was it, the fun sucked out of it. We walked back to my building and called it a night. It was a good night overall, though, at least for me. Things are going so well for my mental health right now and it felt really good to be able to lower shields a little for the first time in what feels like forever. EOF