________ ________ ________ 2019-09-19 / \/ \/ / \ / __/ /_ _/ I wanna talk about R U OK? day and why I / _/ / / don't like it but a quick disclaimer first: \_______/_\___/____/\___/____/_ I've struggled with my mental health my / \/ \/ / \ whole life but I don't make any claims to / _/ /_ _/ own depression or to own anxiety, everyone's /- / _/ / lived experience is going to be different \________/\________/\___/____/ and I don't speak for anyone but myself. Ok? Ok. This is just my 0.0000020 BTC. I remember when it first cropped up on Twitter and then became a "thing" and even back then it was frustrating to me, I know the basic premise is that it prompts people to have conversations with people and ask "R U OK?", this is my primary issue with it. Firstly, the idea that you can visually identify someone who is struggling, who has depression, who is possibly suicidal just makes me cringe, I have spent a lifetime learning to hide this shit, practicing appearing normal, and I guarantee I'm not a unique case. The answer is no, I'm not OK, I never have been, never will be, but you couldn't tell it by looking at me, you couldn't tell even by having a conversation with me, and the worse I do feel the stronger that deflection gets. From the outside looking in, my worst days look like my strongest days. Secondly, it encourages people who are not necessarily equipped to have those conversations to start conversations with vulnerable people which is peak modern activism, a bull in a china shop, crashing around for self gratification and ass pats. Thankfully most people miss this point and you see lots of passive "you can talk to us if you like" presentations which defeats the purpose but spares the people who would be harmed by some random person in their school or office calling them out for "looking depressed". Lastly, like most things, people forget about it as soon as it's not waved in their face. So they get up in arms about mental health, depression and suicide for the eight or nine hours, once a year, then immediately forget about it and then everything gets swept back under the rug. You can't be mad at people for wanting to help, that's not what I'm saying, but in my opinion R U OK? Day is a very misguided way to go about it. Maybe it started off better, I don't know, but when I see people getting in my face to hand me a flier, people stopping me, tearing me out of my bubble to talk to me about R U OK? Day - all ironically decked out in R U OK? tshirts - it just fucks me off. They don't understand the potential harm they're doing to people who do suffer from anxiety or depression where that is a trigger to them. A bull in a china shop. Anyway, just venting gas I guess. Slater. Edit: Here's some additional reading for you, should you be curious. "Today is RU OK? Day. Take it from me: it's not helping" http://archive.fo/1S6Qz "Why people suffering from mental health issues struggle with R U OK? Day" http://archive.fo/ScqFY "No, I'm not OK: the isolation of R U OK? Day" http://archive.fo/Te5GF "Why I'm Not OK With RUOK Day" http://archive.fo/iSp51 EOF