[CJS]

when I was young
barely into my teens
a weapon exploded in my hands
I thought at the time I knew what I was doing
I sat a safe distance away
the low sun draping a long shadow across my shoulders
my breath steady but my heart racing
that same sun bathing her in gold
so perfect in that moment
wreathed in honey warm light
I wrapped my hand over the muzzle of my weapon
and, pulling the trigger, the barrel exploded
and I was unconscious
for weeks or days, years
a lifetime
torn by weapon fragments as they spun past me
out of the shadow and into the light
I caught one in my heart
which quickly scarred over
puckered and ugly
but beneath the surface
a pearl I'll carry with me forever