(DIR) Return Create A Forum - Home --------------------------------------------------------- mrd Graphics (HTM) https://mrdgames.createaforum.com --------------------------------------------------------- ***************************************************** (DIR) Return to: Writing Applications ***************************************************** #Post#: 5026-------------------------------------------------- The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved] By: maxliam Date: February 5, 2013, 9:09 am --------------------------------------------------------- As I walk through the meadows of my church, a tear catches my eye, For, I praise god for thee great things, I see the grain, and all the rye, The grass, so elegantly soft, so luscious, so silky. But then over all of the excitement and joy, I find; Perhaps I shouldn’t be here. I realize what I have done and who shall pay, and who shall weep against their husband’s dead body. If one is to find me, they will find no more than a broken body damp with tears, and blood. If I am to die on this spot, I want to wish my kids a good luck for their future goals, such as college, and marriage, and them starting their own family. If I am to miss that only because of one little mistake I will do, and I have probably already done, then I wish everyone good luck. Now, why am I so in peril, and scared? I have stolen the gem of the Gods. This gem controls how people act, and how people serve YOU. I stole right from my church and that is why I am in the meadows, that is why I was saying calm, and peaceful facts to myself, and I was walking with a fast pace. So if they find me, I wish you and your friends good luck, because they are coming soon. They will not spare me so, run my child. “When will dad come back?” my 8 year old son Sam asks. “He said he had a digestive problem, so he thinks a walk will help that’s all.” answers my wife who was just as inpatient as my son, but she tries to hide this. “Melinda, do you think we should look for Tim? It has been a good hour.” The Pastor interruptingly says. Suddenly the burglar alarm kicks off. Screams echo off the hollow walls. A church guard yells through a mega-phone “THE GEM IS GONE, I REPEAT THE GEM IS GONE!” Cops scatter out the back door, and –gulp- into the meadows. Now Melinda knows what has happened. She knows what she must do, and all the stress and fear blacks her out. She sees blurry images of a stretcher with a bloody body going into the ambulance cab, and Sam crying. The next thing you know is you wake up in a cold bed with no Sam, for what we know, he killed himself with the gem. To be continued.. If this gets accepted Part 2 will come, and I have a BIG story line that I want to do,and I have to be a writer to give it out. #Post#: 5028-------------------------------------------------- Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 5, 2013, 10:35 am --------------------------------------------------------- This is really good! Accepted! I loved how you used imagery and your descriptions were great. You made some quoting mistakes (Every time you make a quote, you must indent and start a new paragraph) but other than that, it was great! I'll add you to writer right now. Can't wait to read the whole story in the Writer's Avenue! =) #Post#: 5030-------------------------------------------------- Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved] By: maxliam Date: February 5, 2013, 10:49 am --------------------------------------------------------- Thank you. ;) #Post#: 5034-------------------------------------------------- Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved] By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 5, 2013, 11:41 am --------------------------------------------------------- You're welcome! You deserve it ;) #Post#: 5039-------------------------------------------------- Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved] By: teamsatisfaction Date: February 5, 2013, 12:37 pm --------------------------------------------------------- Gratz, Maxliam! =) *****************************************************