(DIR) Return Create A Forum - Home --------------------------------------------------------- mrd Graphics (HTM) https://mrdgames.createaforum.com --------------------------------------------------------- ***************************************************** (DIR) Return to: Writing Applications ***************************************************** #Post#: 5069-------------------------------------------------- (application) Vampire Slayer part1 By: Ryanrider Date: February 8, 2013, 1:09 pm --------------------------------------------------------- It was a dark cold night I the countryside within Atlanta, the grey clouds flowing through the sky. It was possibly the calmest night in months, but tomorrow wouldn't. I woke up to the sound of the sterio on my bedside table tuning into the different channels available to me. As I flickered through them, a sudden random lightning bolt shot down in a blink of the eye and struck the bike shed, well that was gone. My father was calling me down now. Where were we going....... The forest that I feared the most, you see, there was a rumor, a terrible rumor concerning a vampire within a coffin located the heart of the forest. I knew this was no blasphemy. It was all true I tell you, sure i'd never been there but I know, somewhere out there it lay, all alone in it's lone coffin, waiting for someone to discover it........ To be continued. This full story would go over the word limit. #Post#: 5070-------------------------------------------------- Re: (application) Vampire Slayer part1 By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 8, 2013, 2:15 pm --------------------------------------------------------- I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to deny this. You had some spelling and grammar mistakes, and it just wasn't very interesting overall. You didn't do a good job with grabbing the reader's attention. Lacks clear descriptions. You have potential, but before that potential can try to break through once again, you must wait two more weeks. Remember the applicant workshop! #Post#: 5071-------------------------------------------------- Re: (application) Vampire Slayer part1 By: Ryanrider Date: February 8, 2013, 2:30 pm --------------------------------------------------------- Meh, that's it now, I'll stick to reviewing, I'll try again when all my school stuff is sorted out thoigh ;3 I'll be back >:3 *****************************************************