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My Horrid Parent
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#Post#: 76--------------------------------------------------
Wedding day
By: clare low Date: May 8, 2017, 8:51 am
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Your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life but it
can be ruined if you have a horrid parent. What is your story?
#Post#: 78--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Sadness_Smiles Date: May 9, 2017, 7:00 am
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I'm sure I'm not alone in the choice I made because of my
difficult parent. It was still the most wonderful day of my life
because we eloped. No stress, no questioning of my life
decisions, no pressure for control of my happiness, no problem!
I have now maintained a relationship longer than either of my
parents, so to this day I have no doubts in my first decision in
permanently severing the chord and taking my first breath as a
free person. A person who deserved to be loved and to have what
I desired. I have never missed the froofy princess day most
women enjoy as my happiness outweighs any dress or dance.
#Post#: 79--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Mitchell Date: May 9, 2017, 10:41 am
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Well done wish I'd done the same, I was isolated an only child
my father died while I was in my late teens leaving me to care
for my very manipulating mother who would use guilt as a master
weapon. So I drank myself into oblivion going through many
broken relationships even getting engaged but they all fell
though.
In self defense there was nothing back in those far off days,
even today information is difficult to access and there is
nothing on denial or what its like to live with someone in
denial.
I was lucky at 34 I met a wonderful girl we are together and I'm
now 65 she will be 56 this July over 30 years.We never married
she understood my mother had serious mental health issues, so we
just live together. If we married that would have been a great
day for her but a terrible reminder for me. There would have
been many on Pats side and none on my side
All I can say is "VERY WELL DONE" :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Hope to hear from others
Mitch
#Post#: 82--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Sadness_Smiles Date: May 9, 2017, 3:14 pm
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Well I'm glad you found your someone even if you didn't
officiate it. I would like to say, particularly for anyone
reading that is soon betrothed to their beloved in a similar
situation, is it doesn't matter from whose side they come as
long as the folks there love you. They're your new family! My
husbands family have treated me like their own from day 1. So
don't worry, if your difficult parent(s) is there, let your new
mother or father in law annoy the snot out of them!
#Post#: 91--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: WeakSoul Date: May 18, 2017, 3:40 pm
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I'll never get married I'm too emotionnaly broke. Need too Much
love That I've never had.
#Post#: 149--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Astra Argent Date: November 27, 2017, 8:56 am
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Because of my parents' toxic relationship, my mother's abuse
towards me and my father's emotional absence from both the
marriage and his relationship with me, I've never married.
By the time I was in junior school, my mother hated my father.
She'd rant at me "I wish God would kill your father, He knows
just how much I hate him!" on what seemed a daily basis.
Divorce was not an option to her.
For years I didn't want a relationship and the idea of marrying
anyone filled me with dread. I'd love to be loved, appreciated,
encouraged and supported by someone who genuinely cares, but
that seems a long way away right now. If I ever do marry, it
would be low-key and for him and me.
After my mother died when I was 27, I got rid of her wedding
dress and headdress: I simply couldn't stand to have them in the
house.
I wish anyone with a Horrid Parent or Horrid Parents all the
very best with their relationships, especially if they decide to
marry.
#Post#: 285--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Els Date: March 26, 2018, 4:57 pm
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Univited
#Post#: 286--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Els Date: March 26, 2018, 5:13 pm
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Hmmm...that didn’t start too well!
I wanted to say that knowing other people (adults) feel the same
way as I do regarding their parents and their wedding has really
surprised me.
I went to my cousins wedding at the weekend. It was a lovely
wedding, a very happy day. My uncle has manic depression and my
aunt struggles to get him to go out but he coped really well and
seemed to enjoy himself. The family clearly make things work and
get along despite the problrns. Proof that family difficulties
don’t have to spoil such an occasion.
My parents made it over too. I should explain, they live in
France and were on a camper van trip to Portugal and very nearly
pulled out of coming despite being invited to the ceremony. Due
to it costing quite a lot of money for one weekend. Anyway, they
did come.
My fiancé Dave and I got engaged on Christmas Eve and we hope to
marry this year. This was the first time they’d seen me since we
announced our engagement. Not once did either one actually wish
us congrats in person, neither asked anything about our wedding
plans apart from my father joking - ‘let us know when you’re
thinking of doing it as there’s some dates we’ve got things
planned’.
And right now I’m thinking - ‘suit yourself...don’t come then’!
My father is belligerent, disrespectful towards me and my mother
lives completely in his shadow. I’ve tried (my fiancé really
wants me to have a good relationship as his dad died a few years
ago) but as time goes on it’s harder and harder to spend 24hrs
with my parents and keep my cool.
At least I know now I’m not in isolation feeling this negative
about my parents. I couldn’t care less for being ‘given away’ as
a bride by my father. I actually cannot imagine that ever
happening now...
#Post#: 289--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: clare low Date: May 1, 2018, 12:08 pm
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Hi Els,
You are SO not alone! There are many many people who have
suffered at the hands of their horrid parent. All of whom will
understand your need to keep your distance from your father
given the behaviour you describe. It must be sad at some level
that he is not involving himself with your wedding plans as
other parents would. And maybe a bit hard for you finance to get
that. But it is your life and you two must lead it the way you
want to. Plan the best wedding you can being surrounded by
people who love you both!
Alyson
#Post#: 321--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding day
By: Sooverit Date: October 24, 2018, 9:36 pm
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I have to put this into words even if no one sees it. I was
young ,barely 19,when I got married 40 years ago. With a mother
who said “You will never make it in college”, what was I going
to do? My mother REFUSED to attend my wedding. My husband’s
family was and still is a wonderful family. They were educated
and well to do. I was not going to let her tell me what to do.
It all really made her look crazy and foolish. I am so glad I
got away from her. It was a blessing to get out of that house my
poor Dad,bless his soul, went along with her and didn’t attend
either. She had never seen my beautiful wedding portraits. She
was and is a manipulative little witch.
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