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My Horrid Parent
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#Post#: 412--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is your horrid parent inconsistent?
By: NewForumNewMe Date: May 6, 2022, 3:31 pm
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[quote author=clare low link=topic=24.msg263#msg263
date=1515605337]
While some parents are horrid all the time, others are
inconsistent and change from day to day and moment to moment.
This means that you can be constantly on edge waiting to see
what mood they are in and whether or not they are going to be
unkind and critical to you.
Even though you get some respite from their horrid comments, you
are forever on the look out for that change in their expression
heralding another attack. It is exhausting.
[/quote]
This hits home for me. My mother got pregnant with me out of
wedlock in a period of history where such things were just not
done. She was a college student living in a women’s dorm on a
college campus just as women’s rights were just beginning to be
a thing that existed and experiencing a taste of greater freedom
when she discovered she was pregnant. As soon as she told her
parents they picked her up from the school, took away the car
they’d provided her for school, and demanded a quickie almost
literal shotgun wedding. I became the thing that took away her
new freedoms, her car, and her dreams of a career leaving her
stuck on a broken down old farm in the middle of nowhere with me
all day every day.
My mother was incredibly inconsistent with her parenting to the
point my core memory of my childhood is of a sinking fearful
feeling of walking on eggshells. There was no knowing what would
set her off. Things that had been specifically permitted, even
encourage one moment could become horrific, screaming, how could
you ever think that would ever be ok the next.
Eventually I realized to some degree it was just that she would
permit things because she didn’t want to be bothered, then be
upset when me doing them became a problem for her. Yet that
didn’t explain all of it. Many times I was just a convenient
punching bag to take out her frustrations on.
Abortion rights was a hot topic frequently on the news
throughout my younger years as Roe V Wade was decided while I
was in grade school. My mother was an ardent supporter. She
rarely missed an opportunity to tell me she believed abortion
should be cheap and easily available so young women wouldn’t
have to ruin their whole lives with one mistake. It was always
clear I was the mistake.
#Post#: 423--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is your horrid parent inconsistent?
By: Carolaine Souza Date: June 1, 2024, 11:33 am
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É horrível perceber que eu me sinto não amada nem pelo meu pai
nem pela minha mae, e que eles me afetam demais. E quanto ao
humor de cada um, meu pai alcoólatra só fica amoroso comigo e
com meu irmão na base do álcool, em outras vezes grita, não fala
como uma pessoa educada. Minha mãe quase sempre uma cara de quem
comeu e não gostou, tipo fazendo caretas. É complexo se
comunicar com pais assim sem saber seu humor exato.
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