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#Post#: 25--------------------------------------------------
Overpowering parents
By: clare low Date: March 28, 2017, 4:35 am
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Read about a young person with an overpowering mother on our
website and please add your comments here.
#Post#: 141--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: May Date: October 30, 2017, 5:20 am
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I chose to estrange myself from my toxic ex-family. Two years
ago they found me online and made threats. My husband wrote to
them and told them not to contact me unless through a solicitor.
Three weeks ago they again found me on line and sent threats. I
had to report them to the police. The police have been great and
have warned my ex-family from continuing to harass and stalk me.
I hope this time is the end.
#Post#: 142--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: clare low Date: November 1, 2017, 5:36 am
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How brave you have been to take a stand with your toxic family,
and what a shame they have put you through further pain by
stalking you online. Going to the police and getting their
support is a big step and takes courage - so well done. It is
terrific that your husband has helped and protected you so that
you get the care you deserve. I do hope that you will be left in
peace to get on with your life.
Best - Alyson
#Post#: 143--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: Motherless Date: November 5, 2017, 12:46 am
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My first tries to run away from home was when I was 3 years old.
I couldnt stand being alone at home with my own mother. She
abused both physically and mentally whenever no one strong
enough to oppossed her around. I was yelled, punched, pinched
hard, slapped and spitted in the face, locked inside the
bathroom for hours after she sprayed all of my body wet, locked
me inside my room without food, calling me names, accusing me as
a thief for things that I dont even understand at my age that
time.
She would punished me harder whenever my father failed to gave
her the amount of money she would hoped or, or when he did
something she didnt like. But only when My dad was not around.
My dad is a surgeon doctor, so we never lack of money. He cut
back (my mother's allowence" because no matter how much money he
gave her, she would make it "dissapeared" in just matter of
days. So he decided to payed all of the bills so the money he
gave her is just for her own leisures. I will tell you how i
know all this later on.
My mother is a coward monster. She always hides her true form
when someone else is around, playing the role as perfect mother
in front of others. To make it worst, she constanty made up a
story how her children was bad seed.
In my country; society; religion, mother is a God, even thinking
bad thing about them is enough to convince people to condemmed
you to hell. A perfect place to live for my mother.
I am currently 38, and this is just a teaser of my story.
#Post#: 228--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: Mynedd Date: December 19, 2017, 1:43 pm
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[quote author=clare low link=topic=5.msg25#msg25
date=1490693705]
Read about a young person with an overpowering mother on our
website and please add your comments here.
[/quote]
Hi all my story is somewhat different to most as both my parents
had their own issues. Firstly my dad would take my money off me
and say I will pay you back when I get paid. Being only 12 years
at the time I did not have enough courage to say no. I worked
all day Saturday and Sunday cleaning out a friends pigeon lofts.
It was 1976 and I was pleased with myself. I rode home and was
surprised my dad was standing waiting for me. He praised me for
doing all that hard work. I felt great but then he took the
money and went off down to the pub to spend it. This happened to
me many many times throughout my childhood. I left home at 16
and had a week in hand wages to pick up but I was 200 miles away
so asked my mother to pick it up. The next time I saw them my
dad had picked it up and guess what I never saw any of it. He
was not all bad but weak and he spoilt my childhood with what he
did.
My mother was a different kettle of fish and still is. I am the
2nd son of 5 boys. She has described me as a black sheep and at
every opportunity puts me down. It used to be the joke within my
family. She is so negative at anything I do or try to do. I went
back to live with them for about 3 years in 1988 until I got out
again. She used to blackmail me into paying the phone bill which
I had installed under my name. She was always ringing her
sisters in Birmingham and blamed me for the high bill. I used to
argue but had no choice but to pay it. When I moved out into our
new home which was a big mortgage. She wanted mu board for a
week I never stayed there as she believed it was a week in hand
but I argued that it was paid the night I moved back in. she
never had the money. then she wanted me to replace the line pole
my dad had knocked down. Luckily I had one at my new place which
I dropped off.
This story could go on and on. My new wife and I are very
generous so took her and my brothers and partners out for lunch
one day. Little did I realise it was her birthday that day. she
always forgot my birthday or would get me something second hand
like a pair of ladies jeans as a present. Anyhow I quickly
realised my error so wished her a happy birthday. We paid the
lunch bill and thought nothing else of it. However the story got
twisted by my mother which she told everyone was I had forgotten
her birthday and we all went out for lunch which she had paid
for!! once I got to know what she was saying I challenged her
and she was adamant she had paid for her birthday dinner the one
we forgot!
We always have barbecues and tea lunches at Christmas time
spending quite a bit of money on the spreads etc which my family
are always invited too.
Imagine our surprise when after eating their fill at our house
they all went out to eat at a pub but failed to ask us because
they did not think we would be interested in going. Hurt is not
the result but devastated by being left out. Also we were not
invited to a barbecue!!
Now this sounds bad indeed but my mother has spread silly
stories about us for not going over to see her which is untrue
as I have been over but she was not in that my older brother has
deleted my wife and me as a friend off facebook again. So I have
not seen him or had any contact with him most of the year. Now
Christmas has come around she is trying to smooth things over
because she does not wish anyone to see the rifts which she has
created. I could go on and on but having this medium to get this
out of my system is a great help.
#Post#: 231--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: clare low Date: December 20, 2017, 12:53 pm
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Thanks for your message - you are not alone in having two
parents who behave badly, not giving you the love and care that
you deserve growing up. It sounds like you still suffer with
being manipulated and bad mouthed. I do hope that as well as
getting support from the forum you also find some helpful ideas
on the website.
Best wishes,
Alyson
#Post#: 235--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: steved Date: December 22, 2017, 3:44 pm
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[quote author=May link=topic=5.msg141#msg141 date=1509358811]
I chose to estrange myself from my toxic ex-family. Two years
ago they found me online and made threats. My husband wrote to
them and told them not to contact me unless through a solicitor.
Three weeks ago they again found me on line and sent threats. I
had to report them to the police. The police have been great and
have warned my ex-family from continuing to harass and stalk me.
I hope this time is the end.
[/quote]
Bloody hell what is wrong with some people?, Not being satified
with blighting someones life they pursue and persecute even when
you find the courage to escape.
#Post#: 317--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: paato01 Date: October 11, 2018, 7:54 am
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Hi everyone,
I'm new here and i'm so glad i found this page, reading about
everyone's experiences has really been cathartic and made me
feel like im not the only one with horrible parents.
I'm 23 and planning to move out after i'm done with college, but
i'm barely getting by because i have really emotionally
unavailable, abusive and manipulative parents. My mother, she's
been just unavailable emotionally ever since i can remember and
i have a zero bond with her, mostly because she just left me to
my manipulative grandmother who played with my emotions ever
since i can remember and physically and mentally abused both my
brother and i, and my mom never did anything about it, and
neither did my dad. My dad is an alcoholic which makes it worse,
as he's unpredictable, emotionally volatile, cant handle stress
and has always had outbursts of anger and we were never close to
him as my mother never let us be close to him and we were always
stepping on eggshells with him mostly because of my mother's
brainwashing and his alcoholism didn't help either.
So, essentially both my parents were and still are horrible.
Recently i told my dad about the emotional and physical abuse we
suffered as kids at the hands of my grandmother and my own
mother's passivity, and to my dismay he just didn't do anything
about it, and instead startted being even more suspicious of me
and burdening me with th responsibility of 'taking care of the
house' because my mother never did. After my dad found out about
me being in a relationship, he beat me up and threatened to kill
me. And said that everything i said about my mother was a lie
and that i was only talking about her that way because i wanted
to keep my relationship a secret *rolls eyes". (nice save dad)
Anyway, i'm struggling with some anxiety and depression because
of my parents behavior towards me and the added pressure of
college, but i'm hoping to move out with my boyfriend after 2
years, but the thing is that i live in a part of the world where
honor killings are very common and children have to live with
their parents all their lives. So i'm gonna have to cut off all
ties and run away without them noticing......which will be risky
but i cant WAIT until i can finally get away from them, as
anytime away from home is like a breath of fresh air, like a
vacation almost.
#Post#: 318--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: paato01 Date: October 11, 2018, 7:57 am
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[quote author=Motherless link=topic=5.msg143#msg143
date=1509860769]
My first tries to run away from home was when I was 3 years old.
I couldnt stand being alone at home with my own mother. She
abused both physically and mentally whenever no one strong
enough to oppossed her around. I was yelled, punched, pinched
hard, slapped and spitted in the face, locked inside the
bathroom for hours after she sprayed all of my body wet, locked
me inside my room without food, calling me names, accusing me as
a thief for things that I dont even understand at my age that
time.
She would punished me harder whenever my father failed to gave
her the amount of money she would hoped or, or when he did
something she didnt like. But only when My dad was not around.
My dad is a surgeon doctor, so we never lack of money. He cut
back (my mother's allowence" because no matter how much money he
gave her, she would make it "dissapeared" in just matter of
days. So he decided to payed all of the bills so the money he
gave her is just for her own leisures. I will tell you how i
know all this later on.
My mother is a coward monster. She always hides her true form
when someone else is around, playing the role as perfect mother
in front of others. To make it worst, she constanty made up a
story how her children was bad seed.
In my country; society; religion, mother is a God, even thinking
bad thing about them is enough to convince people to condemmed
you to hell. A perfect place to live for my mother.
I am currently 38, and this is just a teaser of my story.
[/quote]
im very sorry to hear this, i know how it feels, not being able
to get away. And the way your mother is, i can relate to that as
well as my mother never interacts with me and when she does she
only says and does things to put me down. She also snitches and
lies to my father about me who also gets violent.
What iv learnt is that these people never change and you'd be
saving alot of time energy if u didnt try to make them change
#Post#: 323--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overpowering parents
By: Sooverit Date: October 24, 2018, 10:13 pm
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Get away! What is worse than two evil parents! You must find
your own way. They will never EVER change. Do not stay in hopes
they will change. For years I thought or hoped my mother was
normal. Finally I grew up and realized she was a narcissistic
little witch that would never change. You are hurting yourself
by being around such negativity.
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