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#Post#: 9235--------------------------------------------------
Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over.
By: KikiJames Date: June 22, 2012, 9:44 am
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I received an email from a friend's sister today that was an
invitation to a surprise baby shower...
***A little background: My DH met the DH at work and I met his
wife a little later. We became really close friends. We spent
lots of time with them camping and going to Galveston every year
for 10 years straight. After they had their 3rd child (They even
used a baby name that we suggested for this baby that we talked
about on a trip to Galveston about 3 years back), the trips
stopped (Completely understandable!)and they moved out of state.
They came back to town a couple of times and we got together for
dinner while they were here and we met with the DH a time or two
when he was here on business.
We made a special trip to see them at their request (A 2 day
driving trip to their house). We stayed for 4 days and had an
okay time. (DH got sick with food poisoning during the trip, but
was fine once we arrived). There were no real plans to do
anything together as the kids were in school and we had to be
back to pick them up. (Again, understandable. They have kids,
it's par for the course.)
They end up coming to town 2 more times and say that they want
to get together for dinner after the kids go to bed. Great!
Then, we don't hear from them again until they are half way to
their home in another state.
Back to present time: DH chats with the DH quite a bit by
text...
I receive an email today from the wife's SIL stating that they
were throwing a surprise BABY shower for said wife. Not only is
the baby shower a surprise to the wife, but the baby is a
complete surprise to US! We had absolutely NO idea she was
pregnant. In the past, we had gotten together for dinner for the
announcement. Not once in DH's chats with her DH did he mention
it, we never heard from her...nothing. And NOW they want us to
go to a baby shower for her while they are conveniently in
town???? I'm sure I would go, if I wasn't going to be with my
niece's at an all day concert, but I can guarantee that if they
were here just to see family and have fun, they would not be
able to find time to come see us.
I'm sure some peas will tell me I am completely unreasonable,
but this is just small parts of the past. I truly believe this
friendship is over and it was not something that we did to cause
it. I'm just so sad. I really loved them and spending time with
their family.
I guess it really hurts because we may be in the same situation
again with another set of friends. I really wish that the reason
was because of something we did. That would make it more
understandable, but there's just no reason from what I can see.
It makes me feel like we are horrible friends.
I have people I hang out with, but no best friend. I know it
sounds silly to say at 39, but I have a hole in my heart and
don't know how to fill it. It's not like you can send out
resumes to potential friends. UGH
#Post#: 9236--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: maddawg Date: June 22, 2012, 10:37 am
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Aw hugs and prayers my friend. Sometimes people just grow apart
for no reason or life just gets away from them. And seriously
men don't think of talking about pregnancies. I have bff's that
we don't talk for ages / years and when we get together we just
pick up where we left off. It could be any number of things. I
hope it all works out for you.
#Post#: 9260--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: tallulah Date: June 22, 2012, 2:27 pm
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I hear ya -
I have had that happen to me in the last year and it sucks. For
2 years, I was there to listen about all their trials and
tribulations, sometimes every day, and they came to visit, now
she doesn't give me the time of day. Sometimes I wish they
hadn't and I have thought about emailing her how hurt I feel,
but talking to another friend, she says write it off, and cut my
losses. I haven't had a bff in years, and was tickled that I
"had one". Now I feel leery to get close to another female
again. Most of my " friends" are either my biz partner or
clients. Years ago, we lost most of our friends one by one
because we didn't have kids. We still communicate from time to
time but not the same.
But I've been with Stan for 37 years, I can always count on him!
Janelle
#Post#: 9261--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: favorite grandma Date: June 22, 2012, 2:29 pm
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big {{{HUGS}}}
I won't defend their actions. but I do know I'm terrible about
keeping in touch with friends (even really good ones) after we
move.
#Post#: 9263--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: KikiJames Date: June 22, 2012, 2:39 pm
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[quote]I won't defend their actions. but I do know I'm terrible
about keeping in touch with friends (even really good ones)
after we move. [/quote]
I totally understand that, I do. My issue is when they DO text
or call saying they want to get together while in town 2 hrs
before they want to get together, then we don't hear from them
again until AFTER they are on their way back home. So
frustrating.
#Post#: 9292--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: jscraps4u Date: June 22, 2012, 5:26 pm
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Oh bummer. Hopefully it is just a misunderstanding. I too have
lost friendships over the years and know how it hurts. I too
find myself without a BFF because of moves. Hang in there.
Eventually the "right" person will come around.
And besides...you have us. Hugs to you!
#Post#: 9323--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: Diana Date: June 23, 2012, 7:56 am
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(((HUGS))) I've had that happened to me with a friend that I had
for over 20 years. It broke my heart specially since I did
nothing wrong.
#Post#: 9334--------------------------------------------------
Re: Having a hard day. I'm realizing a friendship is really over
.
By: simplyscrappin Date: June 23, 2012, 3:45 pm
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hugs to you i can totally understand something similar has
happen to me too, i will tell you that this maybe temporary and
be patient.. my BF and i didn't talk for about 5yrs and then all
of a sudden she sent me a request over facebook we talked and
ashed things out and now we are friends again but not as close
as before.. don't throw in the towel yet.. give her some time
and she will come around.. have you tried talking with her and
asking if u had upset her in anyway maybe that will help with
getting stuff out in the open communicating in any realationship
is key especially with BF's don't let it go to far.. Good Luck
sweetie and keep us posted
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