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#Post#: 26--------------------------------------------------
Why "BIRTHMOTHER" Means "BREEDER"
By: Montraviatommygun Date: March 4, 2011, 4:40 pm
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Why "BIRTHMOTHER" Means "BREEDER"
by Diane Turski
I had never heard the term "birthmother" until I reunited with
my son. When the social worker who located me referred to me as
his "birthmother," my first reaction was to instinctively recoil
in distaste. What is a "birthmother?" It occurred to me that
perhaps she had merely applied this ridiculous sounding term in
an attempt at political correctness, so I ignored it. However,
when my son's adoptive mother initiated her first contact with
me she referred to him as my "birthson." What is a "birthson?"
And what would a "birthfather" be - I didn't know that fathers
gave birth! In a "birthfamily" are there also "birthsisters,"
"birthbrothers," "birthgrandparents," "birthaunts,"
"birthuncles," "birthcousins," "birthpets," etc?
It was then that I began to suspect that these ridiculous
"birth" terms were not merely being applied in a benign attempt
at political correctness. Was it possible that the adoption
industry intended to insult us by applying these ridiculous
labels to us? Is it possible that we mothers have been so naive
that we haven't yet realized their true intent? Could it be that
we are insulting ourselves every time that we apply or allow
others to apply these ridiculous terms to us?
Investigating, I learned that U.S. social workers had
collaborated about 30 years ago to invent their own list of
contrived terms to appease their adopting clients. Adopters no
longer wanted anyone to use the original term "natural mothers."
Why? Three reasons: 1) it indicated respect for the mother's
true relationship to her child - she could not be written-off as
a "convenient slut" whose only value was reproduction, 2) it
recognized that the sacred mother/child relationship extended
past birth and even past surrender, and 3) it implied that the
adoptive mother's relationship to the child was unnatural.
The adoption industry didn't want adoption to be considered
unnatural - they could lose customers this way! After all,
people were paying good money for "a child of their own."
Adopters didn't want a reminder that the child they were
adopting still had a loving parent somewhere else. After all,
social workers had promised them a child "as if born to."
So social workers responded by creating a list of ridiculous
"birth" terms meant to confine the mother's relationship with
her child to simply giving birth, ending at that point. In other
words, "birthmother" is simply a euphemism for "incubator" or
"breeder."
Then, social workers deliberately disguised their disrespectful
intent by calling it "Respectful Adoption Language."
"Respectful" to adoptive parents, who are now to be called
"parents," as if the two natural parents no longer exist.
Deliberately creating the term "birthmother" was a further
attempt to break the bond between mother and child; in addition
to altering birth records to indicate that adopters gave birth,
sealing the original birth certificate, and changing the child's
identity with a false adopted name. Adoption is built on lies
and denials of truth, so we mothers shouldn't be surprised that
"Respectful Adoption Language" is just another deceitful ploy.
However, one truth that cannot be denied is the truth that
thousands of mothers and their lost children have found in
reunion: that the deep spiritual/emotional mother-child bond
between them has never been broken, despite the decades they
were separated. That natural motherhood is forever, that the
relationship extended *past* birth. Adopters feeling threatened
by this sometimes try to pressure adoptees to end reunions:
instead, they should hold their brokers accountable for lying to
them with the "as if born to" sales-pitch.
Now that we mothers have learned the truth about the invention
of these ridiculous "birth" terms, what should we do about it?
Do we really want to continue to disrespect ourselves and allow
the adoption industry to continue to disrespect us by applying
and allowing others to apply these terms to us?
Or should we insist on applying truly respectful language, such
as the term "natural mother," which is still used in other
countries who have not been as propagandized by the United
States adoption industry? I believe it is time for us mothers to
defend ourselves and our children from further insults and
attacks.
(HTM) http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/Why_Birthmother_Means_Breeder.html
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