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Bad News
August 19th, 2017
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Today is a mixed bag of emotions. My son celebrates his fifth birthday
with a joy-filled face and the excitement unique to that age. We went to
see a community theater kid-acted production of the Little Mermaid this
morning and he adored it. Since then it's been a lazy day around the house
with games and play. You can't ask for much more family fun than that.

Last night, in direct contradiction to the mood of the day, my Dad finally
got a second opinion on his condition. A few years back he was diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease, and both my sister and I have been trying to
convince him to get another opinion. We watched my grandpa suffer from
parkinson's for years, and my dad's symptoms didn't match. His drugs
didn't work right, and he was progressing far too quickly.

I was worried it was ALS, but I wasn't quite right. He has progressive
supranuclear palsy (PSP). It's just as fatal as ALS, and similar in
progression. He's not quite wheelchair bound, but he's not far away. Worst
of all, I know we're probably a year or two away from losing him
completely.

The news has been hitting me oddly. I think I've taken it stoicly until
a stray memory will creep up on me. I'll be watching a movie and suddenly
the memory of him at my Boy Scout meetings in high school will pop into my
head and I'm on the verge of tears. I can picture us playing catch in the
driveway in Maryland when he would toss the ball impossibly high in the
air straight up so i could practice catching flys.

My sister is still angry about the whole thing and I'm not in a hurry to
change her mind. Once the anger goes the sadness will follow, and I'm not
in a place to help with that.

Time will continue onwards regardless. I'll try to focus on my time with
my son and the new memories we're building and try to not follow the
rabbit hole of the past too far.
.