---------------------------------------- Do the Hard Thing November 08th, 2017 ---------------------------------------- I've been thinking about lessons that I want to teach my boy. Boiling down all my experiences and knowledge to some core principles that I can invest him with to help him in the future is both thrilling and overwhelming. On the one hand, I have a lot of specific things I've experienced I could steer him on, but I think it will be difficult to make all the individual stuff stick with him. Instead I think it would be best to focus on principles, like living a life with the willingness to say "Yes!" to new opportunites and challenges. That's what led me to the Navy, or to the Jesuits, or to live in Alaska. I think it's an important and generally helpful attitude to pass on. Most recently I was thinking about an idea I learned as a Jesuit novice called "agere contra". It means to do the opposite. In the context of Ignatian spirituality it is making a reference to the types of comfort we experience by doing what comes easy and natural to us. St. Ignatius thought that by avoiding these natural trappings of "easy" we would be forced to rely on God as we faced the unknown scary things and in doing so become closer with Him. As an example, when I started the novitiate, all of the novices were taken around the city to the various apostolates where we would be spending our "working" time during formation. There were hospitals, nursing homes, hospice care, schools, food pantries, and other various charities and social services. Our novice director told us to thing about the different places as we explored them and to pray on each of them and imagine ourselves working there. Only after we had done that did they introduce the concept of agere contra. The director said, list for me the top two apostolates which are the most intimidating to you, the scariest, or the most unnatural to your experience and disposition. What are the last choices you would make. And with that in mind, he helped assign us to something hard. In my case that meant I worked in hospice care and elementary education, both of which seemed terrifying. I went on to experience some of the most rewarding months of my life. I not only broadened my exposure to new things, but I also gained confidence in my ability (with God's help) to take on the unknown and not just survive, but to thrive. In the case of my son, the idea of agere contra might be a little bit too complex. Maybe it takes a more sophisticated understanding of the world and yourself to put it into action. But there are parts I think he can grok even at 5 years old. Do the hard thing. That's the heart I'm working on with him now. I think there's more in that idea than just agere contra, too. As we face increasing threats to employment through automation, focusing on doing and learning what is hard is a generally safe way of proceeding. In working in a group, taking on the hard part will instill a valued social skill. Ethically it conditions him to avoid poor choices through laziness. There's so much good that comes from choosing the hard path. Turning that lesson inward, I stare at my list of hobbies and cringe. I flounder and fail to progress because I am lazy and do whichever thing strikes my fancy. I need to be deliberate in my practice or study. I need to do the hard things. Lets see what I can do with that principle and some motivation.