---------------------------------------- Time travel November 30th, 2017 ---------------------------------------- This phlog entry is partially a response to cat [0] and partially a fairly complex and possibly unpopular opinion on time travel. I hate the idea of time travel and I pray very hard that it isn't possible. I don't mind games or movies about it, but there is nothing quite as horrifying to me in reality. When I say that I pray about it, I mean that quite literally. It has been the subject of my prayers on multiple occasions, and has dominated at least one silent retreat. To understand my reasoning I need to explain a bit about how I perceive time and the moments that constitute it: In sixth grade I was in a new school in a brand new English class. English was not a good subject for me, and I was pretty intimidated. My teacher, Mr. Tucker, put a picture up in the front of the classroom. It was a fish wearing headphones. He told the class, "There's a famous saying, 'A picture is worth a thousand words.' I want you to write a few hundred. For the next ten minutes write about what this fish is listening to and why." At that time in my life I really had no clue about music. I didn't follow any bands. I pretty much listened to whatever my older sister was playing. I thought really hard and came up with Poison by Bel Biv DeVoe. There's a section of that song that I knew some words to, so I started there. The other problem I was facing was that I was a horribly slow hand-writer. The minutes flew by and I hadn't even finished writing the lyrics to the song when the teacher said stop. I hadn't gotten to the fish! I had a random section of Poison written out by hand and that was it. The teacher decided to read a few out-loud to the class. He picked my paper up first and started to read. I was mortified as he recited, "Girl it's driving me out of my mind. That's why it's hard for me to find..." The words ended and it made no sense at all. That moment was horrifying to me, and I know the rest of the class forgot it within minutes. It still haunts my memories almost thirty years later. Here's the thing, though. That moment is fixed in time. Nothing can happen in the world that will ever change that having happened. No nuclear bomb can go off, no zealot can preach, no asteroid can strike which will change the fact that at that point in time I was being humiliated in front of a classroom of strangers. Now, think about the magical moments. There was a girl I dated in high school who I loved with the passionate love that can only be felt by overwhelming hormones and youthful rage. I remember our first time together. I remember the claw marks. That moment can never, ever be taken away. She's a horrifying shit-show of a person now. I'm honestly amazed she's still alive, and I wouldn't want to be within a mile of her these days. It's irrelevant, though because I love her with all my heart and all my soul... in that moment. I think of the people who have died and gone. My grandma, close friends, so so many lives. They're all still living in that moment in time and our lives touch. It is a fixed element that I can always go back to. I don't need to let today into those moments. My friend who took his own life is still with me at summer camp, sneaking into the pool to glue the "buddy tags" to the board. The girl I was going to ask out in my high school homeroom didn't die on the way to school when some asshole flipped his car. She is still sitting next to me smiling in that moment. I fucking hate time travel because it is the only concept that could take those moments from me. The bad ones and the good ones are mine. They are my treasures and the only safe thing in existence. I pray it never comes to pass. (TXT) [0] cat - Something about basketball, IDK