* * * * *
                                        
   We've just spent the past two weeks mucking with their network and this is
                                  what we get.
                                        
One of our connectivity clients keeps insisting that the connection is slow.
And for proof, he shows us the results from the Speakeasy speed test [1]. 

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerist! 

“See?” he says, pointing to a result that shows 300Kbps speed. 

“Okay,” we say, “that just shows the traffic from here to the Speakeasy
network in Atlanta. Try the Chigaco test. See? 2.8Mbps. That test means
nothing.” 

“But they're in the Central Time Zone,” he said. I swear, I am not making
this up. “They're an hour ahead of us.” [I think his reasoning was this: it's
about 5:30 pm Eastern when he said this, and as people get home, the network
starts getting congested. At least, I think that was his reasoning. —Editor] 

Sigh. “Okay, try the New York test. See? 2.9Mbps. The test is meaningless.” 

So, why is the test meaningless? Because once the traffic leaves our network,
we have no control over speed issues. The only meaningful test is one that
runs across their connection to our network. Or maybe across our network to
the exit point. But that's it. 

Okay, we might have some influence with our carriers for the first hop or so
into their network, but that's about the extent of it. But nooooooooo! “I
paid for a 3Mbps circuit and by God I want 3Mbps to Afghanistan!” (okay, he
didn't say that, but I suspect he still didn't believe us) 

[1] http://www.speakeasy.net/speedtest/

Email author at sean@conman.org

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