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                       Extreme bongs, Sevierville edition
                                        
Bunny and I made the trek out to Sevierville, TN [1] to visit Tennessee's
largest flea market [2]. Overall, it was “meh” and nothing at all what we
were expecting. I'm not sure what we were expecting, but what we found wasn't
quite it.

But that's not to say it wasn't amusing, like this interesting gask mask:

[“Dude! I just turned this gas mask into a bong!” / “Dude!”] [3]
 

And just a few booths down from that, we hit a bookstore with both kinds of
fuction, westerns and Amish:

[Mennonite fiction is just a bit outré for these folks.] [4]
 

And no, I am not making that bit about “both kinds of fiction” up—the clerk
explicitly stated that as a direct quote. I did not handle any of the
fiction, lest it burst into flames upon my touching it. The Amish theme kept
going with this booth:

[There's a joke just trying to get out about “bitches-n-hoe's” but man does
it feel sacrilegious to even think of it. Besides, what a weird combination
for a store—hitches? Honey? Amish Jams? Actually, “Amish Jams” would be a
cool name for an Amish rap group. Come on! Even Sweden has rap artists these
days, so why not the Amish? I mean, besides Weird Al.] [5]
 

Yes, this booth would supply your trailer hitching and Amish honey and jam
needs. Need I say more? Well, I could but I'm not sure if I should. And when
did Tennessee become such a hotbed of Amish activity? Did I not get the memo?
I must not have gotten the memo.

Just randomly, I saw several of these signs hanging from the ceiling:

[They turned down my application for a wombat. No reason given. Sigh.] [6]
 

At first, I thought that anyone wanting to buy an animal had to obtain
permission from the office, so they could make sure the customer is capable
of taking care of marmosets, sloths or whatever other livestock was being
sold, but upon reflection, this sign could be a notice for the sellers, to
make sure they aren't selling illegal wolverines, pangolins or alligators.

I also found amusing the number of booths selling cleaning products. We got
accosted early on by one woman hawking a cleaning product. She mostly talked
to Bunny, and every other word out of her mouth was “ma'am.” Every other
sentance was “You can drink this stuff, but it wouldn't taste very good.”
Nice to know, I guess (and it turned out, every cleaning product being hawked
at the half dozen or so other booths were all “drinkable, but you wouldn't
like the taste”). And I have no idea if the Amish would use such products.

[1] https://visitsevierville.com/
[2] https://greatsmokiesfleamarket.com/
[3] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2019/06/14/Mask.jpg
[4] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2019/06/14/Amish-fiction.jpg
[5] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2019/06/14/Honeyhitch.jpg
[6] gopher://gopher.conman.org/IPhlog:2019/06/14/Sale.jpg

Email author at sean@conman.org

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