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                 The Case of the Inconsistent Consistent Chirp
                                        
Bunny and I were plagued with the most insidious inconsistently consistent
chirp over the past few days here at Chez Boca. There would be this distinct
chirp. Just one. And by the time you think it won't happen again, it would
happen again. And then … nothing. For hours. Or maybe the rest of the day
even. But sure enough, it would pick up again—a single chirp, then silence,
then maybe another chirp, repeat for a few minutes then, nothing more for
hours.

When it first started, I thought maybe one of the UPS (Uninterruptable Power
Supply)es was responding to some power fluctuation, but no, they squeal quite
loudly, and none of them showed any form of distress when I checked. This was
more of a short chirp than a loud squeal. And by the time I was tired of
looking at whatever UPS I thought it might be and turn away, there was
another chirp.

It was mocking us.

Between the two of us, we had narrowed down the possible source in Chez Boca,
somewhere along the west wall of the house. The only things in the area that
could possible chirp were:

* a large vertical floor fan;
* a USP for the TV (television) system;
* the TV itself;
* the DVR (Digital Video Recorder);
* the DVD (Digital Video Disc) player;
* the small network router for the DVR;
* a floor lamp.

But all these devices had been there for years before this chirping had
started. It was weird as it was maddening.

I even went so far as to check the bathroom, as, from where I sit in the
Computer Room, the chirp could be coming from there. The only three things in
the bathroom that could possible chirp: the lights, Bunny's electric
toothbrush and a small clock.

I discounted the lights—they're the original fixtures from the 70s—no strange
electronics in there, and more importantly, no speakers to speak of. I did
unplug the base unit of Bunny's electric toothbrush, and had the toothbrush
itself in the Computer Room. The chirp didn't go away, and it wasn't from the
toothbrush. Nor was it from the small electric clock (I too, brought that in
to the Computer Room and cleared it as a suspect).

Then, late Saturday night, I was in the family room along with Bunny when it
happened again. We were standing far enough apart that it appeared to be the
floor lamp just by simple tiangulation. During an examination of the lamp, I
happened to glance up, and there, above the door to the Computer Room, was a
small, round disk shaped device stuck to the wall—a smoke detector.

Bingo! 

Taking the unit down and reading the back, yes, it would chirp to indicate
the battery needed changing. And neither Bunny nor I could recall when the
battery in the unit was changed.

Heck, we both forgot about the unit being there at all.

Even worse, when I started telling this story to some friends at our
regularly scheduled D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) game, they knew the punchline
even before I finished. Sigh.

Now I just have to figure out why our ice maker is making hollow ice.


Email author at sean@conman.org

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