2023-03-25-sat.txt
Sitting on the couch, listening to aNONradio

TIME FROM NOW

I don't know how it happened, or when exactly, but I've started becoming 
more productive as of late. Not just creative stuff, but over all. I'm 
getting more daily work done, more of the creative stuff, yes, but also 
regarding my health and well-being: I put myself on a diet, and have now 
lost around twenty pounds.

I started up with a productivity system of my own, which basically just 
amounts to a check list. Nothing fancy. One creative item per day. Lots 
of mundane, every day things. I have a modified, highly watered-down 
Hipster PDA in my wallet, that I "sync" each night with the checklist on 
the computer; takes two minutes, and then it's out of my mind.

Funny how, when I've actually gotten things done, and check them off, 
and actually HAVE an hour to myself, I still have that old flash of guilt 
roll in, that I'm not doing anything with my time. The guilt is real, 
the cause is an illusion, a hold-over. Or maybe it's my steady-state. 
Either way, it doesn't last, and I only need look at my schedule to 
see what I've been up to, and what I will be up to tomorrow. It helps.

There are more years behind me, now, than there are likely ahead. When 
looking back on 2023, from a more remote vantage point, will I see it as 
a time of pivotal change, or just another peak, in a long history of 
highs and lows, and no more significant than all the others that have 
come and gone? With my track record, I probably won't need to wait until 
I'm on my deathbed to have the answer; I'll know by the end of the year. 
Maybe long before then. A disheartening thought, but for whatever 
reason, I feel good about things at the moment.

Since we don't get to live in any other fashion than moment to moment, 
maybe I should just shut up and appreciate this for what it is, for as 
long as it is.