============================================================ The Day That Unix Died My recollection of this piece of humor comes from sitting in the second or third seat on my high school bus listening to my friend Nicholas reading it off a dot-matrix printout from home. He was told about it by his father who had worked at Bull (Honeywell) in the 70s-90s. I think it was around 1995. The internet "revolution" (can it even be that cliche') was in full swing and people were taking about computers all the time. However, as much as people were talking about computers, they were hadly using them on a daily basis. I was embedded in computers because I attended Carl Hayden Community High School's Computer Science Magnet. This program was part of a court-ordered desegegation lawsuit. In order to bring students who would attend the more affluent schools in the district. My Home school was Central on Central and Campbell. Carl Hayden was at 33rd Ave. and Roosevelt. The neighborhood around the school is still not nice. In 25 years not much has changed. There I was, a white boy from another part of town being bussed to a special program for people who were going to make computers a life-long career. I was sitting on this bus listening to my friend read the words to this parody of a song that came out 9 years before I was born. The congitive dissonance was shocking. Long, long, time ago, I can still remember How UNIX used to make me smile... And I knew that with a login name That I could play those unix games And maybe hack some programs for a while. But February made me shiver With every program I'd deliver Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more spec... I can't remember getting smashed When I heard about the system crash And all the passwords got rehashed The Day That UNIX Died... And I was singing: It described a world of computing that was old in the 90s. Now, it is positively ancient. Hearing it make me think about how much I didn;t know about the origin of the devices everone was talking about every day. The very idea of a computer being something that filled a room or required a priesthood of white-coated accolytes made me feel like I was missing the the texture of computing. Bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high, The boys on the board were sayin' "fuck this, goodbye." Singin' this'll be the day that I die... This'll be the day that I die Did you write the new games shell And do you have faith in the manual? If b:dennie tells you so... Well, do you believe in UNIX C Can hacking save you memory And can you tell me why vi's so slow Well, I know that you're in love with C 'Cause I saw your code on UNIX B You just kicked off your shoes Man, you cleaned up every kludge! I was a lonely young computer geek With a program due 'most every week But I guess that I was meant to freak The Day That UNIX Died And I was singin: (chorus) Well, for ten weeks we've been in this class The professor really is an ass. But that's not how it used to be... When Ira Pohl taught in CIS 12 And user limits could go to hell And there was still space on UNIX C. And while the board was looking 'round The Chancellor brought the budget down The classes were adjourned Evaluations weren't returned And while Huffman read a book by Pohl The CIS board made some prof's heads roll And we wrote programs that weren't whole The Day That UNIX Died And we were singin'... (chorus) Helter skelter in the summer swelter I went in the lab to find some shelter Ninety degrees and risin' faaaaaasst!!! C stayed up for ten whole days The hackers really were amazed Wonderin' how long it all would last. Well, both the forums were really great Nobody got us all irate We had a stroke of luck The system was not fucked 'Cause the hackers kept their code real clean The UNDR-shell was really keen Do you recall what was the scene The Day That UNIX Died And we were singin... (chorus) Our programs were all in one place, UNIX had run out of space With no time left to start again... So, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Use every programming trick 'Cause UNIX may soon crash again... And as I watched the system fill My login process would be killed. The system just went down Consternation up at Crown"!!! The hours went on into the night And all that we could do was rite I saw Dennie laughing with delight The Day That UNIX Died And he was singin'... (chorus) I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some stat lab news But she just cursed and said "grow up" I went down through the stat lab door Where I'd learned of UNIX years before But the man there said that UNIX wasn't up And in the halls the students screamed, The majors cried and the hackers dreamed, But not a word was spoken The Vaxes all were broken And the three folks I admire most The Father, Frank, and a.g.'s ghost They caught the last train for the coast The Day That UNIX Died And they were singin... So bye, bye, nroff, rogue and vi Gave my program to Phil Levy but Phil Levy was high. The boys on the board were sayin' "fuck this, goodbye" Singin' this'll be the day that I die... (with apologies to Don McLean) It had the cadence of a joke. I didn;t get the humor, but I knew that I was just a bit (pardon the pun) past the days described in this parody. I'm sure that it was a magical time. Can we get lost in a mythologized past? Can the nostalgia for times past be so strong? I don;t know, but I feel like I can be part of that time in this way: writing this in vi, over SSH on a Raspberry Pi that serves up my Gopher hole.