[HN Gopher] Bash IRC Quote Database
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Bash IRC Quote Database
Author : adnanh
Score : 185 points
Date : 2020-05-27 16:55 UTC (6 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (bash.org)
(TXT) w3m dump (bash.org)
| sitzkrieg wrote:
| the 'bottom' quotes are still accessible at ?bottom if anyone
| misses all the racist ones
| yash1th wrote:
| my favorite so far
|
| http://bash.org/?835030
| LittlePeter wrote:
| A quick win for readability is to align the first character of
| each chat message. Perhaps some colors would be useful too. I
| noticed I had to expend quite some mental power just to follow
| the chats linked here.
| thejynxed wrote:
| I have a few comments listed on there, haven't visited that site
| or used IRC in ages.
| tams wrote:
| Also, there was qdb.us:
|
| https://web.archive.org/web/20190802095853/http://www.qdb.us...
| DCoder wrote:
| Mozilla runs a DB of their own: [0]. Although their IRC network
| closed down recently, so this might not last long either.
|
| And there's also XKCDB [1].
|
| [0]: http://quotes.burntelectrons.org/browse
|
| [1]: http://www.xkcdb.com/
| jtmcmc wrote:
| ah sigh, I too have some quotes in bash.org qdb.
| forgotmypw17 wrote:
| I neither own nor operate bash.org. I wrote the scripts,
| collected the seed content, initially in quotes.txt, and operated
| at geekissues.org/quotes/ until its move to bash.org. AMA
| Havoc wrote:
| How does one collect funny IRC contents via script?
| forgotmypw17 wrote:
| It's funny that this should come up on the frontpage today,
| because just yesterday, I chose to go and find and install
| ircN, which still works just fine, by the way.
|
| That is how I collected the quotes originally, by using
| ircN's quote commands, which saved them in a file called
| quotes.txt, IIRC.
|
| Then, I would occasionally entertain the channel with random
| quotes.
|
| Eventually, I converted quotes.txt to quotes.html and posted
| it on my website.
|
| Then I built a PHP+MySQL database with a submission form,
| then some basic anti-abuse and moderation features.
| meritt wrote:
| hunter2 is one of the best: http://bash.org/?244321
| AceJohnny2 wrote:
| The first season of IT Crowd on DVD has subtitles in "l33t".
| What this actually meant was each episode had a different
| subtitle gimmick. One of them had the "HEY EURAKARTE" quote
| http://www.bash.org/?23396
|
| (and get off my lawn kids, : I remember when that quote's votes
| were in the hundreds :p)
| sickmartian wrote:
| yeah, and 'I put on my robe and wizard hat' is right there as
| well.
|
| http://bash.org/?104383
| skilled wrote:
| Never fails to make me laugh my belly out.
| AdmiralAsshat wrote:
| It was later referenced in a TF2 item description:
|
| https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Conjurer%27s_Cowl
| phoe-krk wrote:
| _< DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY
| ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS
| AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR
| IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT,
| INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM
| THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
|
| <DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony
| officer
|
| <DmncAtrny> and run like hell_
| Havoc wrote:
| 10/10 social commentary on the legal system
| janee wrote:
| Haha I still say that sometimes before I need to go do some
| random thing. Usually goes unnoticed, but every now and then
| I get a chuckle
| smhenderson wrote:
| Makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one. I mean,
| I suspected, but it's nice to get a confirmation!
| cerberusss wrote:
| Robe and wizard hat is epic.
| aeturnum wrote:
| Ah Bash! My friends and I found this at its heyday in the early
| 2000s right when we were becoming computer literate ourselves. We
| we not IRC people, but had a communal skype chat going[1] and
| recognized the conventions.
|
| The hunter2 password joke is so iconic that I still see it
| referenced regularly. I always think about the "moral combat" top
| quote where someone is kicked with the input sequence for a
| fatality as a great example of internet wit[2]. In general, I
| think many of the top quotes succinctly capture the realities of
| membership in internet communities (the double-edged nature of
| having moderators, the daily trials of our fellow users, the
| delight of linguistic playfulness).
|
| There were other quote sites out there. qdb.us comes to mind,
| though it seems to have lost all its content, you can still see
| it on the wayback machine:
|
| https://web.archive.org/web/20120131065558/http://qdb.us/top
|
| [1] Skype, in its early days (and maybe still?), allowed group
| chats where other clients would send you the messages you missed
| automatically. We had no desire to run a server and this was in
| the era when Skype was nearly entirely peer-to-peer. I think of
| it as our own personal internet golden age.
|
| [2] http://www.bash.org/?205195
| krallja wrote:
| Just today I muttered 'hunter2' while typing my password in on
| a screen share. At least two other people got the joke.
| forgotmypw17 wrote:
| qdb.us succumbed to PHP 5.x -> 7.x compatibility issues, but
| should be returning soon.
| eganist wrote:
| Do you have a source for this? I think I had a quote in the
| top 100 that I felt kinda bad about losing. lol
| phoe-krk wrote:
| This has already been around when I was a kid. Which was like
| fifteen years ago.
|
| Oh, timelessness.
| Diederich wrote:
| Did somebody say 'timeless' in the context of tech humor?
|
| https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.en.html
| yjftsjthsd-h wrote:
| That's utterly beautiful. I really lost it at:
|
| alias vi 'rm \\!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv
| -f ~/.z ~/.cshrc'
|
| ...which is of course utterly evil:)
| CobrastanJorji wrote:
| Lessee, this:
|
| 1. Creates an alias named "vi", so that next time the user
| runs the text editor vi, it will run this script instead.
| 2. Deletes whatever files the user was planning to edit in
| vi. 3. Removes this "vi" alias, reverting the behavior to
| just running vi in the future. 4. Removes every line from
| the .cshrc which contains the string "BoZo".
|
| If you put this in someone's .cshrc file, the next file
| they attempted to edit with vi would be deleted along with
| the evidence that anything malicious had been done to you.
| RobRivera wrote:
| That's mean
| Diederich wrote:
| Yup; it's packed full of such gems.
| Phrodo_00 wrote:
| I might borrow some of these aliases too.
| alias rm 'rm -rf \!*' alias hose kill -9 '`ps
| -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`' alias
| kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
| alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill
| -9 \!*'
| csours wrote:
| Hah, I list my occupation as IT THUG.
| haecceity wrote:
| Why is the idiot compressing everything?
| Diederich wrote:
| 'back in the day', storage space was always at a premium.
| (As was RAM, CPU, ...) UNIX system administrators spent a
| lot of time thinking about saving space. I suspect the joke
| is that the idiot just got fixed on that one aspect.
| Phlogistique wrote:
| > The IDIOT. Usually a cretin, morphodite, or old COBOL
| programmer
|
| https://www.lexico.com/definition/morphodite
|
| > Originally: a hermaphrodite; a person having both male and
| female sex characteristics. In later use also: a homosexual
| man or woman, especially one overtly manifesting features or
| attributes regarded as characteristic of the opposite sex; a
| transvestite.
|
| Oh wow, TIL a new homophobic slur :-(
| simias wrote:
| It's funny reading these again for me because when I first
| browsed bash.org I didn't speak English very well, so I didn't
| understand some of these jokes (or wasn't sure I understood
| them correctly). All these years later I can finally understand
| all the subtlety and nuance behind "what should I give sister
| for unzipping?".
| anamexis wrote:
| My quote being #11 in the Top 100 is the closest I have ever been
| to fame.
|
| http://bash.org/?207373
| WrtCdEvrydy wrote:
| It's very funny because an exchange on Person of Interest is
| rumored to have derived from this one
|
| http://bash.org/?23396
| e12e wrote:
| That would seem like an homage indeed....:
|
| https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4128194/characters/nm0009918
| ben174 wrote:
| Mine is 10 below you :)
|
| http://bash.org/?258908
| netsharc wrote:
| Is that real? Wouldn't it be better to keep quiet rather than
| quitting and revealing your hostname?
|
| If real, were there any consequences?
| simcop2387 wrote:
| on irc (unless the server hides it) your hostname is always
| visible.
| rckoepke wrote:
| It was real in the sense that ben174 was in fact working at
| LowerMyBills.com at the time, 2003-2004:
| http://www.bugben.com/ (His resume)
|
| However, most likely that was not his CTO. Its more likely
| that someone ran the command
|
| /whois ben174
|
| and it returned the hostname associated with his IP, which
| on IRC was typically public at the time. Then this person
| trolled ben174 by claiming to be from his company.
| amatecha wrote:
| though, consider that the user's nick was "ChrisLMB",
| where "LMB" very possibly stood for "Lower My Bills" :)
| Lammy wrote:
| I always imagined ChrisLMB looked at his hostname and was
| making a joke :)
| Afforess wrote:
| Yours is much better. http://bash.org/?946436
| dylanz wrote:
| Classic! This is one I clearly remember reading ages ago.
| dylz wrote:
| I have to admit, this is a bit odd to think about in 2020: 20k
| upvotes in a system where there is no mitigation, captcha, JS
| or cookie requirement, being considered high - then I click
| over to Twitter and see things that have hundreds of thousands
| of "likes" in minutes from posting.
| brnt wrote:
| I dont understand how anyone is still under the illusion that
| Twitter is inhabited by humans. Nothing there feels real to
| me.
| rconti wrote:
| As I often say, "real people don't use twitter". Its bots
| and trolls talking to each other, with the news treating it
| as research.
| ryankemper wrote:
| In a way, it's much more frightening to operate on the
| assumption that, while there are bots, it mostly is actual
| humans. Simply put, a lot of the actual humans are bots (in
| the metaphorical sense of having incredibly un-nuanced
| takes and reactively responding to certain heuristic
| phrases that "trigger" them).
|
| I don't have any stats on what % of twitter is bots so I'm
| not saying that it's not overwhelmed by bots, but we should
| be aware that there might be an even more chilling
| explanation here: that it actually _is_ humans causing the
| toxicity
| MengerSponge wrote:
| You're describing humans that are frighteningly close to
| "philosophical zombies"
| https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/zombies/
|
| Twitter is a pure pain box, but no one has the kindness
| of offering a gom jabbar.
| BlackLotus89 wrote:
| So this was a real quote? It always stroke me as fake :D
|
| Always loved reading through bash.org and qdb.us Remember that
| I had to write my own rss feed for those sites to get the
| newest quotes. Was sad when it stopped piling :/
| dmazin wrote:
| Wow! I wonder how many of the famous Bash people are on HN
| (probably quite a few)!
| marvin wrote:
| Haha, wow. I read bash.org in my youth, and this exchange
| (among others) have stuck with me, such that I'd remember if
| someone pointed it out. I'm sure the quote has idly flowed
| through my head at some point too, when I've been on a random
| walk philosophizing or something. Clame to fame indeed :D
|
| Funny seeing you here more than a decade later. Wonder how many
| other of those random encounters could happen with the people
| on HN. I remember stumbling across Brian Lozier from The
| Massassi Temple here last year, for instance.
| annadane wrote:
| You legend, you.
| olalonde wrote:
| Did it really happen or did you come up with it?
| anamexis wrote:
| It actually happened.
| golergka wrote:
| I don't even remember when did I first read it. It's not close,
| it is it.
| anamexis wrote:
| I would estimate 2005.
| adnanh wrote:
| Posted this for sentimental reasons, it hits all the right spots
| when reading these quotes.
| osamagirl69 wrote:
| Man this brings back memories. Oh how I miss the '90s
| penetrarthur wrote:
| I feel like early IRC was when people were much more involved in
| communicating over the not so popular internet. Sitting and
| chatting was a way of spending time by itself. Brings back warm
| feelings.
| hprotagonist wrote:
| ah, yes, trove of witty banter that i read obsessively in 1999 or
| so.
|
| To this day, if you ask me "hey do you know what sucks?" my
| reflexive answer is gonna be "vacuums!"
| dylan604 wrote:
| Back in the 80s, Radio DJs were not allowed to say "suck" on
| the air, so they switched to "vacuums". As a kid, I just
| remember how dumb the government must be to implement such a
| lame rule. As an adult, my opinion overall of government hasn't
| really improved.
| adnanh wrote:
| same!!!
| andrew_ wrote:
| Always fun to see this pop up now and then. My old handle and
| young wisdom http://bash.org/?7717
| neonate wrote:
| https://web.archive.org/web/20200525212839/https://bash.org/
| ceejayoz wrote:
| One of my first full web apps was a clone of Bash.org with AJAX
| for the upvote/downvotes for a web forum I helped moderate.
| Must've been early 2000s?
| Minor49er wrote:
| A couple of mine are still around: http://bash.org/?105643
| http://bash.org/?105259
|
| The MegaZeux community was awesome
| da39a3ee wrote:
| OK, what? I'm (a) not someone with "progressive" politics (b)
| can't stand diversity and inclusion stuff, (c) don't believe in
| progressive dogma about workplace environments being the reason
| for poor representation of women and minorities in tech.
|
| But the presence of this thread on HN and the pathetic
| pornographic content in the linked IRC logs, recording the
| puerile online conversations of a bunch of awkward teenage males,
| makes me start to doubt everything I said in my first paragraph.
|
| dang/mods -- I think this thread should be removed from the front
| page.
| dannypgh wrote:
| bash.org isn't curated; linking to it doesn't seem worse than
| linking to twitter.com? I'm sure a lot of things on bash.org
| are awful.
|
| And this is coming from someone who is on the opposite side of
| you for A, B, and C.
| SahAssar wrote:
| I think you should doubt at least one of the points in your
| first paragraph irregardless of this thread.
| [deleted]
| generationP wrote:
| This is not just some random schoolyard humor, this is a whole
| generation of internet citizens' common childhood (adolescence,
| to be more precise). If you don't find anything of value in
| them, it's okay. Not everyone has to like punk or hiphop
| either.
| da39a3ee wrote:
| What? Have you read this crap? There are women trying to
| participate in HN. This is absurd, this embarrassing teenage
| shit has no place at all on HN. You sound like an intelligent
| person, I don't think you're thinking straight.
|
| 'PLZ FWD ALL PACKAGES MARKED "GAY" TO PROPER DEPARTMENTS (IN
| REAR)'
|
| ugly bitches should wear masks all the time.. or rather paper
| bags
|
| plastic bags... so they cant breath
|
| how is hacking like sex? gets better with practice?
|
| 'get in, get out, hope you dont leave anything behind that
| can be traced to you
| duaoebg wrote:
| As a data scientist with access to large amounts of private
| messages between individuals I can assure you that women
| are capable of participating in puerility.
| generationP wrote:
| What's your exact point -- that women will be seriously
| prevented from making a career out of their interest in
| programming because they see some rape jokes?
|
| If so, why haven't the ubiquitous writings on high school
| toilets destroyed the careers of most men?
| Lammy wrote:
| The people upvoting this now are the people who were the
| teenagers when this was new. I don't think having a shared
| cultural history means anyone necessarily still agrees with
| this stuff. The fact that it's so shockingly out of place
| compared to what you usually see on HN just tells me we all
| (mostly) matured and aren't like this any more, and you
| might be surprised how many women grew up on this too.
| cachvico wrote:
| Try clicking 'Top' in the header.
| da39a3ee wrote:
| my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas
|
| Fat ugly girls shouldnt be allowed to use ":)"
|
| Can a dead girl have an orgasm?
| [deleted]
| Havoc wrote:
| Impressed by the amount of hn crew claiming they have quotes on
| there. Maybe not all of it is fake after all
| HereticLocke wrote:
| This is by far my favorite: http://bash.org/?23396
| aleksi wrote:
| I'm somewhat surprised that no-one mentioned https://bash.im
| (formerly bash.org.ru) yet. It started as a Russian equivalent of
| bash.org (the very first "quote" https://bash.im/quote/1 is
| infamously a translation of http://bash.org/?74629; and is still
| know as "bash org" even after the domain name change), but become
| a phenomenon of the Russian internet segment over the years.
| Havoc wrote:
| >no-one mentioned yet
|
| I don't think the bulk of the audience here can read russian
| yellowapple wrote:
| Govori za sebia.
| forgotmypw17 wrote:
| It was at bash.org.ru for a while. They recently redesigned it.
|
| If you want to see what the previous designed looked like, try
| http://bashorg.org/
| every wrote:
| The nethack equivalent: https://nhqdb.alt.org/?latest
| dusted wrote:
| I though it went down.. Hmm, it didn't so I'll start reading that
| again ^_^ Thanks!
| epx wrote:
| http://bash.org/?330261
|
| <i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b <BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
| chx wrote:
| I got close to http://bash.org/?5273 recently.
|
| My work at one point had an OS X specific piece. So I got a wreck
| of a Macbook Air 2011 around 2013 or 2014, can't quite remember,
| the original owner tried to replace the LCD and failed
| spectacularly (I think replacing the screen now would require
| replacing the motherboard) and sold it screenless for cheap,
| perfect for my purposes. I added a Thunderbolt-Ethernet dongle to
| it, chucked it in the parts cupboard (it has slats so it airs
| well) and forgot about it when I changed primary clients in 2015
| and I no longer needed it. A couple weeks ago I needed a Mac
| again and thought hey, I have a wreck. I checked LuCI and hey,
| there is wreck in the DHCP leases, that thing is still alive, I
| ran VNC against it, but what's my password? I haven't logged in
| for more than four years, let's reset the password. So I go to
| the cabinet, pull it out and https://i.imgur.com/SQbISmB.jpg URGH
| gramakri wrote:
| I feel I have read an entire story with the same starting line
| as the above. Can anyone else recall something similar?
| toast0 wrote:
| https://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/04/12/missing_novell_serv.
| ..
| gramakri wrote:
| "Attempts to follow network cabling to find the missing box
| led to the discovery that maintenance workers had sealed
| the server behind a wall."
|
| Ha ha
| myrandomcomment wrote:
| The missing part in that story is that the system was an
| IBM PS/2 Model 9595. They were a complete tank.
|
| Here is 3 random pages with info:
|
| http://john.ccac.rwth-aachen.de:8000/alf/ps2_95t3/
| http://kentie.net/article/ps2/index.htm
| http://john.ccac.rwth-aachen.de:8000/alf/ps2_95t4_586/
|
| I had one running as a fileserver for years (OS/2). There
| was even a hack for the type 4 CPU complex that allowed
| you to put in a Pentium MMX Overdrive processor (you had
| to do some soldering). Worked like a charm. I think I had
| a 233MHz running on it.
| im3w1l wrote:
| What is going on in that picture?
| chx wrote:
| Bloated batteries real bad.
| ithkuil wrote:
| E have an esp8266 device on a battery pack in deep sleep mode
| that still attaches to my WiFi network occasionally enough to
| appear in my unifi dashboard. I have no idea where it is; it's
| been like that for months now.
| Waterluvian wrote:
| I found a Raspberry pihole that I forgot existed when I moved
| out of my last place.
| js2 wrote:
| That is terrifying. How do you plan to handle/dispose of that
| battery? I guess I'd unplug the Mac from AC and run the battery
| all the way down, but then you probably should have a fireproof
| bag to transport it to someplace that will accept it for
| disposal/recycling.
|
| edit: ifixit instructions:
|
| https://www.ifixit.com/Wiki/What_to_do_with_a_swollen_batter...
| chx wrote:
| I had someone to come and replace the battery and take the
| old one away. Not my problem any more.
| AdmiralAsshat wrote:
| I see your Macbook Air put on its floaties!
| math0ne wrote:
| This used to be on my daily read list, def some quotes from me on
| there.
| bpicolo wrote:
| When the original iPhone came out, bandwidth on Edge was so slow
| that Bash was just about the only site I could load with a good
| ratio of load time to enjoyment. I read a lot of bash, then.
| nayuki wrote:
| The current link to https://bash.org/ is broken. Only
| http://bash.org/ works right now.
| dang wrote:
| Changed now. Thanks!
| da39a3ee wrote:
| I'm sort of surprised you're in this thread and haven't
| killed it. Have you seen the pathetic and sexist pornographic
| drivel this is linking to? E.g. click on random a few times
| http://bash.org/?random
| sabas123 wrote:
| http://bash.org/?362137 karma?
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(page generated 2020-05-27 23:00 UTC)