[HN Gopher] What happened to all the non-programmers?
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What happened to all the non-programmers?
Author : harporoeder
Score : 36 points
Date : 2020-09-16 20:33 UTC (2 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.benkuhn.net)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.benkuhn.net)
| pmiller2 wrote:
| I'm also a programmer, but I have quite a few friends who are
| very different from me in a lot of ways. For instance, my main
| hobby brings me into contact with a lot of people who are 20+
| years older than me.
|
| I did not engineer this, nor do I have any particular interest in
| knowing a bunch of older, white men. It just happened that way,
| because my hobby is popular with this particular demographic. If
| the author is bothered by their lack of non-programmer friends,
| surely the easiest way to correct that would be to find a hobby
| that attracts a different sort of folk. That might not be a
| viable solution right now due to COVID restrictions, but we're
| not going to all be stuck in our homes forever.
| ummonk wrote:
| Does he hang out in the east bay? Oakland / Berkeley is way less
| techie than SF so combining the three cities would yield
| artificially low stats.
| hprotagonist wrote:
| Antidotes include:
|
| - join the YMCA or other community gym:
|
| _It's true that some of my experience could be related to
| Oakland as a whole, which is an exceptionally diverse city. But
| I've visited other gyms and workout facilities in my area, and
| none of them look anything like the YMCA. They all lack the wide
| range of age, race, gender, and ability. I've also visited YMCAs
| in other states, most recently in Michigan and North Carolina,
| and they had a very similar vibe to my own. I've come to conclude
| that whatever I lose out on from not going to an upscale or
| hyperspecialized gym, the YMCA makes up for, because it gives me
| a much broader sense of community and allows me to interact with
| people--in real life, no less--who I otherwise wouldn't. Does
| this solve all of the world's problems? Of course not. But I
| think it's a small step in the right direction._
|
| https://www.outsideonline.com/2403867/ymca-local-gyms-good-w...
|
| - spend more time in civic spaces like libraries and public
| parks. Or just being outside in public with an open mind.
|
| - speaking of civic involvement, active participation in your
| local government will for sure broaden your social circles.
|
| - religious organizations -- at least, good ones -- are cross-
| sectional in this way too. Quoting MLK Jr, "... any [church] that
| violates the "whosoever will, let him come" doctrine is a dead,
| cold thing, and nothing but a little social club with a thin
| veneer of religiosity."
|
| - community work, like habitat for humanity or the like, will put
| you in a new sphere of folks too.
| MattGaiser wrote:
| In an Internet world, you can find friends who are a perfect fit,
| so you might never need to find others.
|
| I was visiting my grandparents a couple weeks ago and they were
| baffled at how young people never know their neighbours. And it
| is true. I know the one neighbour that has lived to the right of
| my parents house. Nowhere else that I have lived have I even
| known the names of the people across the hall.
|
| I tend to just have 6 friends at any given time who consume 3
| hours a day in total. There isn't room for more people without
| sacrificing other conversations. And yes, most are software
| engineers/otherwise in tech.
| AmericanChopper wrote:
| The tech community does everything in its power to set up echo
| chambers and marginalize outside views as much as possible, then
| somebody wonders why everybody in their in-group is all the same
| as them... It's not terribly shocking.
| macspoofing wrote:
| Join a church (or synagogue or mosque). Secularism has a societal
| cost, one of which is the loss of community institutions like
| churches, where you have a wide variety of people, from different
| classes, mixing in a common space.
|
| Also ... start a family.
| zapita wrote:
| It's not at all guaranteed that joining a religious community
| will diversify your social circle. It may very well have the
| opposite effect depending on the particular community you join.
| dathanb82 wrote:
| It's true, the professional backgrounds at my church are much
| more diverse than any other social group I belong to.
| afarrell wrote:
| Knowing Ben, following this advice would probably lead him join
| a Quaker meeting house in his area. While that would probably
| lead to some interesting discussions about Agile[1][2], I think
| it would have the same problem.
|
| [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_x1hUeIZ
|
| [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-BOSpxYJ9M
| ardit33 wrote:
| or play co-ed sports, and you can meet from recent immigrants
| to trust fund babies and everything in between.... and from all
| kinds of profession (at least in NYC).
|
| A good team will organize the ocasional drinking/get together,
| parties, etc...
|
| you don't have to go to church to meet different set of folks
| babesh wrote:
| It's because the author isn't an independent, rational thinker
| and still hasn't realized that.
|
| You aren't a slave to your current social setting. For instance,
| sports. There are far more than football and ultimate. Kind of
| irrational to stop at 2?
|
| Here's some help. Sailing. Soccer. Baseball. Softball. Tennis.
| Golf. Basketball. Table tennis. Badminton. Rock climbing.
| Bicycling. Trail running. Cricket. Swimming. Diving. Fishing.
| Roller blading. Dancing. Martial arts. Boxing.
|
| The author doesn't realize that football even at 150lbs is
| dangerous. Try flag football.
| macspoofing wrote:
| That was partly the point he was making. When selecting a
| sport, he immediately gravitated to sports that are popular
| with tech people (i.e. ultimate, rock-climbing).
| babesh wrote:
| Because he or she wasn't thinking rationally. He or she was
| just using their sheep brain.
| Barrin92 wrote:
| > _I'm barely 150 pounds and don't like traumatic brain injuries.
| Preferably a more elegant sport that doesn't require a bunch of
| awkward equipment. Maybe Ultimate or rock climbing- Wait, crap._
|
| hit the gym and do some weight-lifting, solve two problems at
| once. Also just go out and hit the bars. (okay maybe not the
| greatest advice right now). Unlike the author my parents were
| solidly working class so I always was very aware of straddling
| two very different social circles, between academia and tech work
| and the people I grew up with. There's no reason to live in
| either bubble really and in a big city it's not that hard to have
| a healthy social circle, just requires leaving your comfort zone.
| diego wrote:
| I am 145 lbs, live in San Francisco, I used to be a programmer
| (basically retired now). I met the mother of my son while
| bouldering at Mission Cliffs. She has nothing to do with the
| tech sector. Bouldering requires just a pair of shoes.
|
| The author of this post is just a whiner. It's never been
| easier to meet people outside of your bubble than now.
| screye wrote:
| My solution was to find an international/group home. Your
| roommates friends become your friends and suddenly you are in a
| diverse group.
|
| Over the last year I stayed with 9 people in 1 house. 2 school
| teachers, 1 in CSR, 1 lecturer, 1 grad student, 3 in tech (and
| only 1 in big-tech: Me) and 1 in pharmacy.
|
| To-be-fair, I was in Boston . But, my peers ended up in far more
| homogeneous peer groups when they just stayed with people they
| knew or other 1/2 random strangers.
|
| Pick-up sports or Adult-sports-leagues have worked well for this
| purpose too. I play(ed) soccer, but Basketball or the like would
| also work.
|
| Lastly, just date someone not-in-tech. Dating apps are great for
| this. If it turns into a relationship, your partner will make
| sure their friends become your friends. It is a story as old as
| time. Although dating-outside-tech can be tricky for some. Not
| every group is as open to brutally honest and logic-1st/
| empathy-2nd style of communication in tech.
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