[HN Gopher] Your Attitude Determines Your Success
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       Your Attitude Determines Your Success
        
       Author : ingve
       Score  : 36 points
       Date   : 2021-03-13 20:04 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (muratbuffalo.blogspot.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (muratbuffalo.blogspot.com)
        
       | ilaksh wrote:
       | Good point people are making that attitude is not the whole
       | story.
       | 
       | But it does seem that many are not aware that perseverance is
       | such a large part of anything. Before you get to perseverance
       | even, there is the desire to try. A lot of projects are dismissed
       | before they are even started as being too difficult or
       | impractical.
       | 
       | One tendency that I have, which I assume other people have also,
       | is that in certain areas that I am invested in, I am happy to
       | keep working on a project despite many small or large setbacks. I
       | generally don't consider them to be a big deal. But other areas,
       | such as cooking or promotion, I put a minimal amount of effort in
       | and find it difficult to find motivation to continue when I have
       | a setback or poor result.
       | 
       | Part of it is my expectation for how hard things are. Some things
       | that I am not particularly familiar with, I kind of expect to be
       | fairly straightforward. But I am starting to think that almost
       | every type of task is going to have setbacks and require
       | perseverance to get good results. Which is good news, because it
       | gives me hope that if I can be persistent when approaching those
       | types of problems, I can be just as successful as I am with
       | programming (when I don't give up).
        
       | christiansakai wrote:
       | I self talk a lot to build confidence in myself. It worked. I now
       | have too much confidence.
        
       | revskill wrote:
       | Attitude to what ?
       | 
       | To boss, you have an attitude. To friends, you have an attitude.
       | To your serious project, you have an attitude. And many more.
        
       | ivanech wrote:
       | I think this is useful advice for individuals. It's also
       | important to know that even if everyone truly followed the
       | advice, some people would lose out by no fault of their own (for
       | instance, capitalist economies as they currently function do not
       | sustain full employment without government intervention - it
       | boils down to simple accounting identities). Macro outcomes often
       | are determined by other forces than the sum of individual actions
       | - just something to keep in mind when you see advice for
       | individuals.
        
       | kodah wrote:
       | This article seems like a big maybe to me. Attitudes _are_
       | contagious and are more observed than one may realize. I work on
       | a platform team, many of our sibling teams wield the power and
       | influence of being a platform team with the grace of an angry
       | third grader with crayons and a blank wall. The angry third
       | grader _really_ used to get to me and people could see (whether I
       | directly told them or not) that they had affected me in some type
       | of way. These days, the self that I bring to work is more like a
       | git clone --depth 1, and as a result the angry third grader
       | exercises much less power over me.
       | 
       | I discovered that my colleagues notice me far more than I notice
       | myself. I was reminded of this when I came back from a meeting
       | with one platform team that has treated us with notable
       | hostility; they frequently would backtrack statements and
       | commitments that weren't recorded or logged, they would make up
       | requirements on the spot after requirements had already been
       | agreed on, etc... That's the flavor of team these folks were -
       | everyone at the company knows it too. I was not able to get them
       | to budge and it was more expedient and better for our users at
       | this point if we just did what they wanted rather than the full
       | vision. My peers asked what happened, I smiled, and said, "Well,
       | I wasn't able to convince them to do everything, but we'll make
       | do and continue to plan for the future as long as it benefits our
       | users." In a one-on-one is when I was made aware of how my peers
       | observe me, most of them remarked on my stoicism and the fact
       | that it didn't deter me. The fact is that it does, I don't like
       | disorganization that becomes nearly undecipherable from gas
       | lighting, I don't like having goal posts moved, and I don't like
       | organizations that are supposed to be constantly in pursuit of
       | making users lives better thinking stagnation is a strategy.
       | Having projects cancelled affects my promotion prospects, it
       | wastes time/money/energy, etc... I feel some type of way about
       | _all_ of these things.
       | 
       | From my sample size of _self_ , I think the article is right but
       | more in a way that _perception matters_ and you 're either the
       | type of person that has to:
       | 
       | - git clone self --depth 1
       | 
       | - tell yourself fanciful stories
        
       | fortran77 wrote:
       | You'll get into a lot of trouble for suggesting this, though.
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achievement_ideology
        
         | fjeifisjf wrote:
         | Wrong ideas deserve trouble.
        
       | zepto wrote:
       | Please can people stop using absolutist epithets like this.
       | 
       | Managing your attitude, emotions, and the stories you tell
       | yourself _will help a lot_.
       | 
       | If you do it badly, it will increase your chances of failure.
       | 
       | Doing it well will not _determine_ your success. That's just
       | magical thinking. It will predispose you for success _if the
       | other conditions are right for it_ , but nothing more.
        
         | liuhenry wrote:
         | I understand what you're saying, but honest question: why is it
         | helpful to add this caveat?
        
           | tasty_freeze wrote:
           | Because "your attitude determines your success" explicitly
           | states that if you fail it is because of your attitude.
           | People fail for many reasons, usually a combination of
           | reasons. Attitude is just one factor.
           | 
           | It is very comforting for people who are high on the social
           | ladder to believe in a meritocracy: it lets one their
           | successes are due to their superior character, and those who
           | are on the bottom of the ladder are there due to a failure of
           | character.
        
             | auganov wrote:
             | It doesn't say anything about the inverse. You can
             | simultaneously believe success is determined by yourself
             | and failures are just bad luck. It's positive thinking.
             | Some enjoy it, some don't.
        
               | croissants wrote:
               | > It doesn't say anything about the inverse.
               | 
               | Interpreted as a literal propositional statement, it's
               | saying "if you have a good attitude, then you will have
               | success". Therefore if you do not have success, it must
               | be because you did not have a good attitude, which is
               | your fault. It's the contrapositive, right?
        
               | tux3 wrote:
               | You certainly _can_, and I'm all for positivity if it
               | helps you, but don't you think there is a contradiction
               | here?
               | 
               | Again, if it helps go right ahead.
        
           | rektide wrote:
           | > why is it helpful to add this caveat?
           | 
           | It's not really a caveat, though, is it? It's an entirely
           | false premise, that intent & direction & purpose are
           | irrelevant. That the primary factor that matters is attitude
           | & self-belief. As commenter Zepto rightly pointed out, this
           | article is proposing magical thinking: the conceit that what
           | you want or what you think is the thing that shapes reality
           | all about.
           | 
           | Besides being delusional, it also has all the other obviously
           | bad impact that it's twin the Prosperity Gospel brings: those
           | without riches & success have all failed to be worthy, are
           | all faulty. No matter how hard you work, how good you try to
           | be, judging in Attitude or Belief as the only/primary/core
           | determiner of success doesn't allow for misfortune, or for it
           | to be the world that was wrong. Often, the world _is_ wrong,
           | and only those rebels that hold up their flame & let their
           | light shine are what it takes, what makes humankind & the
           | human spirit so great... but so often those folks are
           | crushed, too. And not for a failure of attitude or belief,
           | nor often strategy nor execution either. Hard things,
           | sometimes, ought be tried & embarked upon, but to internalize
           | success as the judgement of whether the hard thing was right
           | or wrong? That is petty, small, and insufficient. It
           | diminishes the light of the world to require & judge only by
           | success.
        
           | MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
           | Being positive through the bad times helps for long term
           | achievement. Being naively positive through something that
           | has clearly ended is just stupidity.
        
           | steve_g wrote:
           | The caveat is helpful because there's a lot in life that you
           | can't control. Luck plays a part in both success and failure.
           | If you believe that your failures are solely your fault you
           | will be unreasonably discouraged . If you believe your
           | successes are due to you and you alone you'll turn into a
           | jerk.
           | 
           | It's true that your attitude and behaviors matter. Competence
           | is usually rewarded, and you should act in accordance with
           | that truth. But it's not absolute. Life is not a meritocracy
           | (whatever that really means).
        
             | quelsolaar wrote:
             | I think the lesson is, no matter how good or bad you have
             | it, things outside your control can make it or break it, so
             | forget about trying to predict the future and just go for
             | it.
             | 
             | Or as an old space pirate once put it "never tell me to
             | odds!"
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | varispeed wrote:
         | There are millions of people having such problems with
         | motivation, attitude and experience lack of success, so these
         | kind of blogs give them exactly what they want to hear. I
         | wasted ton of time on such publications as I was under
         | impression that if only I change my thinking then suddenly I'll
         | get on right track. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
         | What helped me the most is realising that making mistakes is
         | just part of a process and in order to succeed I need to be
         | aware of them and just keep going. It's extremely hard, but it
         | is what it is. If I stop then chance of failure is 100%.
        
           | MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
           | That has been my experience as well. Be positive, but remove
           | the stars in your eyes. Don't give up at the simplest
           | failure, but also don't set unachievable goals that are
           | clearly destined for failure (such as things that require
           | pure luck).
        
           | ImaCake wrote:
           | >millions of people having such problems with motivation
           | 
           | Presumably the clicks are why such pointless articles
           | continue to be written.
        
       | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
       | I always feel like I'm not good enough but I'm also an optimist.
       | I know that if I work at anything long enough I can do it.
        
         | MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
         | I often know I'm not good enough, but I figure if they didn't
         | fire me then clearly I'm good enough.
        
       | mshea0001 wrote:
       | More accurate article title "Luck Determines Your Success!"
        
       | jevgeni wrote:
       | Probably that's what all those struggling hotel and restaurant
       | owners right now are missing: a can-do attitude!
        
       | quelsolaar wrote:
       | This is such an important lesson. The high order bit in any
       | success is the decision to go for it. Determination is more
       | important then anything.
       | 
       | I worry greatly, about how young people today are thought, that's
       | the world is stacked against them and especially for minorities
       | and women. Its true that the world is a very unfair place, but to
       | change it we need encouragement, not horror stories.
        
         | inglor_cz wrote:
         | This is something I think of fairly often.
         | 
         | Telling young people that the world is ruled by a clique of
         | powerful old white men who conspire to keep them oppressed must
         | be crushing, especially if done incessantly.
         | 
         | A cynical part of me says: see, sowing and cultivating
         | frustration is precisely what some politicians need to reap
         | power. They might not gain as much power if their voters had
         | more self-esteem.
        
           | bitwize wrote:
           | > Telling young people that the world is ruled by a clique of
           | powerful old white men who conspire to keep them oppressed
           | must be crushing, especially if done incessantly.
           | 
           | If you're a young white man with a fighting chance of
           | becoming one of the next generation of powerful old white
           | men, I can understand where you might find that unnecessarily
           | demoralizing.
           | 
           | But for everybody else, it's the bitter truth they
           | nevertheless _need_ to know. And the only way to change this
           | is at the systemic, political level.
        
             | itronitron wrote:
             | Reminds me of reading a story someone wrote about the
             | epiphany they had when their therapist finally told them
             | "the world does not wake up in the morning _to fuck you_ "
        
               | sokoloff wrote:
               | If I were a therapist, I'd probably have that made in
               | vinyl and put on the ceiling over the couch. (It's one of
               | many reasons I could never do that job.)
        
               | fjeifisjf wrote:
               | Many of live in a country with a long history of laws
               | written explicitly for that purpose.
        
               | inglor_cz wrote:
               | Running a demoralization campaign on youngsters is
               | unlikely to improve things, though.
               | 
               | Would there be an Israel today if Jewish people convinced
               | themselves that the world is forever going to hate and
               | subjugate them and that they are powerless to change it?
               | 
               | They could have done so, after all, the Holocaust was an
               | unspeakable evil. But they chose the path of constructive
               | defiance.
        
             | bluefirebrand wrote:
             | > If you're a young white man with a fighting chance of
             | becoming one of the next generation of powerful old white
             | men, I can understand where you might find that
             | unnecessarily demoralizing.
             | 
             | Is this really the only situation where you think this is
             | demoralizing?
             | 
             | Not for women or minorities who are told they will never
             | have a chance of making it anywhere because they're not
             | white men? Personally I think that's pretty discouraging.
        
         | covid5throw wrote:
         | I think white men are more oppressed than minorities and women.
         | We are underrepresented in silicon valley companies [0], in
         | higher education [1], asians and jews far out perform us in
         | salary and acceptance into top universities compared to their
         | relative demographic proportion [2].
         | 
         | I think it is about time to start talking about asian privilege
         | and how white people are oppressed. I'm sure I'm going to get
         | downvoted, but I am completely serious in this.
         | 
         | [0] https://gigaom.com/2014/08/21/eight-charts-that-put-tech-
         | com...
         | 
         | [1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/the-
         | degrees-o...
         | 
         | [2] https://www.mindingthecampus.org/2019/06/22/are-the-doors-
         | to...
        
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