[HN Gopher] Show HN: I'm an introvert - made an app to help main... ___________________________________________________________________ Show HN: I'm an introvert - made an app to help maintain connections with people Author : binkHN Score : 92 points Date : 2021-06-26 16:01 UTC (6 hours ago) (HTM) web link (cq.mtc.dev) (TXT) w3m dump (cq.mtc.dev) | bdcp wrote: | Neat. But where in the world do you live that you only need SMS? | I'd give it a go if it works with WhatsApp | barbazoo wrote: | Same here. I'd be more interested in the reminder aspect of it | without integration with any specific chat app. | binkHN wrote: | As a first stab I went with SMS text messages because the | functionality is built into the device and the app can easily | access the SMS messaging history on the device to make better | decisions. I plan to review support for WhatsApp, Facebook | Messenger and friends in the future. | evrenesat wrote: | Something related; I wish "Let's chat, call me when you are | available" button for Whatsapp,Telegram etc. Or even better, | ability to suggest a few time slots to the callee. That might | help with not being able to write "hey my friend, I miss you. | Let's chat sometime" messages and unable to decide on that | "sometime". | | An app with SMS/phone calls wouldn't work well for me as most of | my friends are in another country so it needs to be VoIP. | amelius wrote: | You should change: | | > email that'll help you stay in touch with those that mean the | most to you | | into: | | > email that'll help you stay in touch with those _who_ mean the | most to you | binkHN wrote: | I appreciate the copywrite feedback! Will do! | szundi wrote: | The moment someone realizes you are using this, you may be seen | as someone fake. Never let it happen. | smnrchrds wrote: | I never remember people's birthdays, so I have added them to my | calendar, and I make sure to message people to wish them a | happy birthday when I get the calendar notification. Does this | make my happy birthday wishes fake? Should I never let anyone | realize I use a calendar? | asteroidbelt wrote: | You may care about someone but forget their birthday exact | date one day ahead. | | But you care someone and forget to send a message any day | during the month? That's not possible, that means you don't | really care. | kseistrup wrote: | Disclaimer: I haven't installed the app. | | Reading the description and seeing the screendumps I get the | impression that the app actually does the messaging for you. For | me it would be much more valuable to get a reminder to contact | people I love and care about. Time runs so fast, I forget it's | been a week or two since I last said hello to that person. With a | reminder I would be able to keep in touch with people, yet be the | one who actually composes and sends the message. | | If I have misunderstood the purpose of the app, please forget | this comment. | binkHN wrote: | By default, the app will not take any action and largely act as | a helpful reminder, and I highly recommend this type of use. | kseistrup wrote: | Thanks! | dennisy wrote: | I am sorry but I really think this is a place where we just don't | need "an app for that". | | This of course if just my view, but if someone uses this to call | me the value of that will be super low. | tolbish wrote: | Stay in touch with those that mean the most to you...by | automating your interactions with them with AI! | | This is straight out of Silicon Valley. | sodality2 wrote: | >automating your interactions with them with AI | | It does not do this- it either notifies you to talk to them | if you haven't in a while, or it automatically sends a single | message to start a conversation. | | Note that I don't necessarily agree with this. I simply have | a mental list of friends who I currently am keeping in touch | with and every once in a while check up on the ones I haven't | spoken to in a few days. | snet0 wrote: | Definitely. I struggle to say this is "peak HN", since HN | doesn't like social media in general, but it's definitely | something that evolved out of the particular kind of software | engineer "optimisation" for productivity that seemingly | involves automating the entirety of human existence. I | guarantee this idea has been used as a punchline in a TV | show. | kaioelfke wrote: | Many people have an entry in their calendar to call their | parents and grandparents. It's also about making time for | people you care about instead of work and other things taking | over. | neither_color wrote: | This is a cool idea. I constantly come across as a dick because a | friend will message me, and I'll think about what to respond | with, hesitate because I want to come up with the BEST response, | then get distracted by another task, forget to text them back | until the next day, etc. There are also people I only see every | few months and have a blast with, then completely radio silence | them for months until I see them again. I really have no idea how | to keep up with people. | neckardt wrote: | > I constantly come across as a dick because a friend will | message me, and I'll think about what to respond with, hesitate | because I want to come up with the BEST response, then get | distracted by another task, forget to text them back until the | next day, etc. | | There are two paradigms I see people use to solve this: | | 1. Text back as soon as you see the message and be okay with | your response not being optimal. This is what I do the most. | | 2. Don't open the app to read the message until you have time | to respond, then commit to responding. This way you'll have the | message notification reminding you to respond and you don't | leave your friend on read. | HPsquared wrote: | I was going to question whether this is really an "AI" | application but, given its function - mimicking a human - it | literally is artificial intelligence. | ShaneMcGowan wrote: | I can't decided if automated "love you" messages is dystopian af | or cute | brutal_chaos_ wrote: | Intent is the distinguishing factor, IMHO. If I'm using this | because I really do wish to reach out more, I see no harm. It's | like riding a bike to get somewhere, it helps you get where you | want to be, just a little faster. If apps start to doing this | on their own, because AI, then we've got a problem... | ShaneMcGowan wrote: | Relationship as a Service | impreciouschild wrote: | I think the consequences of being introverted, asocial, hesitant, | distracted etc are part of regular interaction. Just because we | can be connected with 10k people doesn't mean we should be. We | also don't currently have the capacity for broadband bidrectional | intimacy. The way parasocial relationships have bloomed is owed | to infinite friend lists. | | Also, people gravitate towards what is meaningful for them. I | think that some people find it meaningful to feel that they're | disconnected. I think that loss and disconnection is a part of | life, and while I admire efforts to connect, we have limits. I | think it's important for those (and this includes myself) who are | asocial to acknowledge this aspect of themselves and accept the | consequences of their persona. | | Last, I think that scripted or automated interactions inherently | devalue interactions. A huge part of having relationships lies in | the effort to connect. This is why "Welcome to Costco, I love | you" is a joke. It also neatly defines the flawed scope of this | app. Because of that, I declare that this is a CRM app, not a | real life relationship app. | binkHN wrote: | Hello hackers. I wrote the app and I hope it can help others like | me. | | I'm not very good at keeping in touch with friend and family. | Also, my girlfriend likes little text messages here and there, | and I'm not good at sending them. So "there's an app for that," | right? No, there actually wasn't. So I made one. | | I define the app as a smart device automation tool for text | messages, calls and email that'll help you stay in touch. | | The story on how the app got started, my eureka moments, repeated | failures and a little technical detail is at | https://medium.com/@mtc.dev/my-first-android-app-story-331c9.... | | I'd love some feedback. | | Cheers. | bussiere wrote: | Hi i'am interested in a subscription model and if you have time | an api to consume the data of the app like since how many time | i've contacted someone. Add birthday etc ... | | Thanks for your work :) | binkHN wrote: | I will keep this in mind! | loloquwowndueo wrote: | I keep wondering what will happen if your girlfriend realizes | "the app is doing it" - maybe explain to her that it's hard for | you to send those little messages. I think she'll then | appreciate it even more when you do send them. | binkHN wrote: | See my story I posted in the comment! | xzel wrote: | I almost wrote a similar app (but in a much more limited | version) to keep up with friends and family but, ironically, as | an extrovert. I wanted to have their birthdays and the last | time we spoke so I could keep up with them if our contact was | slipping. Congrats on launching! I'll take a look at this to | see if it fits my use case. | [deleted] | nullify88 wrote: | Getting a 403 error i'm afraid. I'd love to check it out. | | Strangely, refreshing the page after recieving the 403 gets me | to the app store. But clicking the HN link always results in an | inital 403:/ | mathattack wrote: | Thank you for sharing! If you don't mind - has anyone come back | to you concerned about automated notes seeming disingenuous? | (This could appear like a generic holiday card on what should | be a more personal format) From you Medium post it clearly | comes from the right place. | | Also - if your girlfriend is ok with this, and encourages you | to finish the project, she's a keeper. | binkHN wrote: | Yes! There are definitely those that don't see eye to eye | with me on this! | | Just told my girlfriend your opinion of her ;) ! | mathattack wrote: | From personal experience, it will come off better if you | ask her rather than wait for the other way around. Even | though you're an introvert! | dstick wrote: | Very nice! Congrats on launching. Pro-tip: do not let others | know you have or use this. In general people will instantly | devalue your outreaches, even though rationally that makes zero | sense. You still think and care about them, but in a way | that's... you. | binkHN wrote: | Thank you! You might want to check out the story I wrote! | MiguelHudnandez wrote: | It is rational to devalue automatic communication. The | birthday card you get from your dentist is not valued. | | That said I have lost touch with a lot of friends I care | about. The best friends are those you can pick back up | without maintenance I think. | fastball wrote: | Right but the bday card from your dentist does not expect a | subsequent back and forth. | riedel wrote: | I second that, but follow up reminders and warnings if you | are to eager are really helpful, so reframing this app as | helper and let people manually edit the messages is much | better. I think particularly sentiment analysis on incoming | and outgoing messages would be really helpful for many | people not so good at casual communication. Maybe the app | should start sending automatically if you really cannot | decide for an option in order to not let you think too | long. I think particularly positive response reinforcement | is needed if one manages to keep up communication in | symmetrical fashion. | binkHN wrote: | Please know, by default, the app will not take any action | and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly | recommend this type of use. | neilv wrote: | This seems less a tool for introverts, than for sociopaths. | villgax wrote: | @dang, HN url parser for extracting domain is borked. This should | have play.google.com | tomaszs wrote: | I think your application is awesome. Also, that some people here | in comments are offensive and don't understand really what being | an introvert is about. | | Your application can help not only introverts, but also people | who are isolated, depressed, who struggle to regain social | connections after last months. | | Thank you for that. You put a lot of effort in the app and it | works great. It is one of the best ideas and implementations I | have seen in five years. | | Congrats again! It is far beyond my imagination how positive | impact your project can have for millions of people! | binkHN wrote: | Wonderful words of encouragement! Thank you! I realize some | people might see this differently, but, at the end of the day, | I did what works best for me and felt others could benefit as | well. | imagine99 wrote: | Is there a function for this to populate the clipboard with the | predefined text and maybe open the messaging program (like | Signal, Telegram, Wire, WhatsApp)? This way it could also be used | relatively easily with these apps which probably can't be | automated like SMS... | kaioelfke wrote: | Not sure about Android, but on iOS some communication apps | support this. My app deep links into those. | binkHN wrote: | As an initial start I went with SMS text messages because the | functionality is built into the device and the app can easily | access the SMS messaging history on the device to make better | decisions. I plan to review support for WhatsApp, Facebook | Messenger and friends in the future. | nickthemagicman wrote: | Did you automate the human connection? | | I love it! | toomuchtodo wrote: | Absolutely love it. Does it support birthday, anniversary, and | other special date reminders? Consider cribbing off of the Monica | friends CRM [1] for inspiration. | | Any plans for an iOS version? | | [1] https://www.monicahq.com/ | kaioelfke wrote: | I made a personal CRM iOS app for myself and others. It | supports these features besides special dates, which is on my | road map. It's basically a privacy and offline friendly UI | around a SQLite db. | | https://amicu.app/ | fergbrain wrote: | This is beyond awesome! Downloading now! | kaioelfke wrote: | Thank you! If you've feedback you can reach me at | @kaioelfke on Twitter or kai@amicu.app | Dave_TRS wrote: | +1 I would love this app if it did birthdays. I like sending | texts, not FB messages, but it's a pain to check Facebook to | see who's birthday it is and then find them in my address book. | I'd love to sit down once and manually create a list of | everyone I want to send a birthday text do, and then have this | app either auto-send or notify me with a button to launch a | blank text I can type to the person | kaioelfke wrote: | I use my app for birthdays like that. There's a button that | opens the conversation in whatever app I use for this person | (WhatsApp, Telegram, Email, ...). | | It's definitely good to maintain your own contact data | somewhere. People delete FB accounts and FB changes all the | time. They used to have APIs for birthdays, but they're gone. | So there's no control unless you own the data. | [deleted] | binkHN wrote: | Thanks! I specifically left date reminders out as I felt these | were better handled by a calendar. I have not heard about | Monica, but will check it out. As for iOS, not anytime soon; | Google is very restrictive when it comes to text messaging and | calls and Apple is even more so. | ogwh wrote: | This doesn't help you maintain connections with people, it's | emotional forgery and anyone caught using something like this | will find their "connections" evaporate instantly. | | If you want to maintain connections with people put the effort | in, that's the substance of the connection in the first place. If | you don't, then don't. | | People want to feel like they matter to you, so you contacting | them shows that you care about them and fulfills that need. This | app is a betrayal of that. | | Is this connected to an article from The Onion or something? A | joke? | bobiny wrote: | By caught do you mean somebody sifting through your unlocked | phone? | unixfg wrote: | If one of the edge cases the author mentions pops up they | could deduce from the context of the message that you didn't | personally send it at that moment. Short of lying about it | and claiming it must have been slow to arrive, I'd say you | were caught. | alisonkisk wrote: | "I use a program to send messages at a programmed time" | snet0 wrote: | I came to this thread earlier and thought I'd taken crazy | pills, so I'd check back later. Not a single non-positive | comment. | | People who use this or think this is a good thing have | fundamentally misunderstood social interaction. Your girlfriend | doesn't want the signal that you care, she wants you to | actually care, and keeping in contact is an expression of | caring. If you need to forge something this foundational, I'm | sorry but that's not being introverted, that's treating social | interaction as a game or trade. I feel like it's bordering on | psychopathy. | grayfaced wrote: | I mostly agree. When I'm focused on something, I tend to | isolate myself. I forget to contact people. I care but I'm | just distracted. | | I would prefer reminders of "You haven't called your Mom in X | days". Set configurable threshholds of how often you want to | contact different people but still require you to actually do | it. | binkHN wrote: | For what it's worth, the app, by default, will not take any | action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly | recommend this type of use. | snet0 wrote: | This is a symptom of caring too much about what you're | focused on, though. While I appreciate that sometimes it's | easy to forget important things, I think if you need | inorganic means to remember to call your mother, you need | to take a moment to actually consider that, rather than | looking for the nearest software "solution". | fastball wrote: | Not everyone's brain works in the same way as yours, that | doesn't make them a sociopath. | fastball wrote: | I think the part you're missing is that this is supposed to | be followed up by actual conversations and interactions. | | There are a great many friends where Life Happens(tm) and | although I genuinely care about them, I haven't contacted | them in months / years (and vice versa) because I'm not | generally the type to initiate small-talk. That doesn't mean | I don't enjoy catching up with friends and going over the | little things in our lives, it's just not something I | naturally do. Having an app that helps you keep in touch with | the people you care about (if you don't care why would you | bother to set up an app) seems helpful. | | And I think stating that this is not introversion but more | like psychopathy is a bit beyond the pale. It can be hard for | introverts to kickstart conversations with people they | haven't talked to in a while for various reasons, none of | which are "because they're a sociopath". They might feel like | they're intruding or they might have confidence issues which | cause them to feel that messaging people out of the blue will | make them seem weird, even if neither of those things are | actually true from the other person's perspective. | spicybright wrote: | This app won't last long enough to remind you to message | year old dormant relationships, so if that's important one | should find something else. | | I also don't see how an automated message helps you keep in | touch though. It seems like people with a lot of this | anxiety will just fiddle with the settings exactly like | they fiddle typing out drafts they never send. | tssva wrote: | It may not be because they are being a sociopath but it | also isn't just because of being an introvert. What you are | describing is social anxiety which some introverts have and | others do not. | fastball wrote: | Nobody said all introverts ("can be hard"). I think you'd | classify anyone with social anxiety as an introvert. | Therefore this is a problem that introverts have. | alisonkisk wrote: | Words have meanings, and that's not what introvert means. | fastball wrote: | > Introvert: a shy, reticent person. | | What person with social anxiety does that _not_ apply to? | | No idea why the two of you are quibbling over the use of | the word introvert here. | kaioelfke wrote: | Is the effort knowing, when to reach out yourself instead of a | tool reminding you? Or is the effort about spending time with a | person? | | I use a running tracker, but I still have to run myself. | | And how often do people reach out on their own? Often it's | seeing a post in a feed or some other trigger. Is that more | authentic? | | The willingness to add a reminder and spend time shows that you | care about a person. | binkHN wrote: | I agree, and many others have seen it this way as well. | shepherdjerred wrote: | Relationships-as-a-service? | brushfoot wrote: | Yuck. If interacting with me is such a chore that someone has to | automate it, I'd rather not hear from them. | | People don't want to be your duties. They want to be your | pleasures. | | This changes messages from "I felt like talking to you" to "my | scheduled trigger fired; please start a conversation so I can | check you off my checklist." | | If I found out someone were using this to communicate with me, | I'd frankly cut them out of my life -- not out of hatred, but | because I'm not a sadist. If it's tedious for you to talk to me, | I don't want to cause you that pain. | fastball wrote: | I feel like you're conflating the friction of starting a | conversation with the friction of continuing one, which can be | very different things. | trutannus wrote: | Most of the negative views on this app appear to | fundamentally misunderstand how highly introverted people | socialize. I know several highly introverted people. Having | something automatically start a conversation for them which | they can then engage in themselves would be very helpful. | Especially for people who have social anxiety. My take was | never that this app was going to socialize for you, but | rather would initiate conversations for you which you could | then finish yourself. There's nothing wrong with doing | that... | 29athrowaway wrote: | I do not like the name "CommuniqAI". | | Think about how a person would recommend this app to a friend. | A: "Hey, check this out, it's an app called 'CommuniqAI', it's | great". B: "How do I spell that?" A: "C-o-m-m-u- | n-i-q..." B: "Sorry, I lost you, start over" A: | "It starts the same as Communism, but ism it ends in q-A-I" | B: "grrr, fuck it. I am going to install Signal or Telegram" | | Don't make it harder for people to recommend your app. | festive-minsky wrote: | The name is fine; "Communique, but with an AI instead of an e" | 29athrowaway wrote: | You belong to a tiny percentage of the population able to | make that association. | officialjunk wrote: | or give them a link? | 29athrowaway wrote: | That too but the name is an important factor. | azinman2 wrote: | The more important factor is the actual execution. And the | reality is this is has been done, many, many times. In fact | a friend recently wrote a version of this in order to learn | Swift. | | Ultimately it's a social problem not a technological | problem. I don't think this is quite hitting the nail on | the end. The author said part of the motivation was that | his gf wanted periodic reach outs during the day. | Automating this isn't the solution because it's totally | inorganic. They need to figure their communication out | themselves -- this isn't the right path that's sustainable. | pelagicAustral wrote: | Introvert, has gf... next. | evrydayhustling wrote: | Love the simple design. $.02 - absolutely require interaction / | customization before the app sends messages. Reminding people to | send is service enough, and creates an interaction opportunity to | refine settings. But sending automatically requires asymmetric | attention between sender and recipient - which is almost always | bad news for relationships, soon or over time. | binkHN wrote: | Thanks! And I concur! By default, the app will not take any | action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly | recommend this type of use! | asteroidbelt wrote: | You are not introvert, you are sociopath. | | And this app will "help" people stay this way instead of learning | to connect. | | This app is cheating. It is like telling your friends you baked a | cake while you bought it. | | I'd be disappointed if someone was using it with me. Would be OK | if they warned me upfront, though. | gtirloni wrote: | The link is not working. | binkHN wrote: | I'm sorry, but the app is currently in beta and limited to 88 | countries/regions to better support this. Please let me know | what country you are in so that I may rectify this. | tgdn wrote: | France | binkHN wrote: | Thank you. I made the change, but, unfortunately, it might | take a few hours to be effective. | superasn wrote: | Would be amazing if it could interface with web.whatsapp.com as | most people I know use WA primarily nowadays instead of sms. | Graffur wrote: | This is not healthy. Instead the friends should realise that | their introverted friends won't always be in contact but that | does not change the relationship. | kakawait wrote: | I'm not able to access (play tells me it does not found)? Is | country limited app or something? | binkHN wrote: | Yes. I'm sorry. The app is currently in beta and limited to 88 | countries/regions to better support this. Please let me know | what country you are in so that I may rectify this. | kakawait wrote: | I'm come from France | binkHN wrote: | This should be sorted now! Thank you! | zubi wrote: | I'm an introvert from Turkey. | binkHN wrote: | Added! Please give this a few hours to be effective. | iovrthoughtthis wrote: | love it the goal. why do you struggle to maintain connections? ___________________________________________________________________ (page generated 2021-06-26 23:00 UTC)