[HN Gopher] The Cultural Implications of Silence Around the Worl...
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       The Cultural Implications of Silence Around the World (2020)
        
       Author : tchalla
       Score  : 67 points
       Date   : 2021-07-11 14:50 UTC (8 hours ago)
        
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       | sovietmudkipz wrote:
       | In my experience at a software company located in the Midwest, I
       | find most engineers engage in a hard listening culture. They have
       | things that may want to say but do not want to say their thoughts
       | for a myriad of reasons.
       | 
       | My (soft) heuristic towards engagement in meetings is to call on
       | others and ask their thoughts. Sometimes I get a squeamish non-
       | answer but sometimes I get a answer worth it's weight in gold.
       | 
       | There are some who engage in a hard speaking culture, too. My
       | heuristic operates to hear from everyone, when practical and
       | possible.
        
         | porknubbins wrote:
         | What is meant by hard listening? I've never heard that. If
         | engineers are reluctant to speak up its probably because years
         | of experience that management/regular people just wants
         | yes/no/we can do that type answers. Giving technical answers to
         | things is sometimes perceived as aggressive or intimidating
         | because the people who are supposed to be in charge often can't
         | follow all details. It takes a rare boss to truly trust the
         | engineers.
        
         | draw_down wrote:
         | I find that in tech or general corporate America, your opinion
         | is requested but only when it falls within certain bounds. Your
         | view is desired when it is appropriately positive and sunny;
         | when you see clouds on the horizon that's to be kept to
         | yourself. The extent to which this dynamic is present differs
         | of course.
         | 
         | What you're construing as a squeamish non-answer may be more
         | politically shrewd than you care to admit, or it may be that
         | the person has previously spoken their mind and gotten their
         | hand slapped. Once bitten twice shy.
         | 
         | Especially in the context of this piece which attempts to get
         | people to see each other a bit more fully, instead of jumping
         | to conclusions, I think it's worth bearing in mind that there
         | can be more than meets the eye.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | psychomugs wrote:
       | Cue DFW's rant on silence and Pulp Fiction's uncomfortable
       | silence scene [1, 2].
       | 
       | The author mentions Japan but doesn't mention aizuchi, a constant
       | backchanneling that signals attentiveness that I'd classify as
       | the opposite of silent pontificating [3].
       | 
       | [1] https://youtu.be/iGLzWdT7vGc?t=1794
       | 
       | [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnVX-uv-QPc
       | 
       | [3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aizuchi
        
       | bellyfullofbac wrote:
       | Yet another misuse of the word "Bahasa" as if that's shorthand
       | for "Indonesian".
       | 
       | "Bahasa" literally just means "language", the Indonesian language
       | doesn't have eponyms, so to say "He is Australian" you have to
       | include the noun "person", so "Dia orang Australia" (Sound
       | familiar? "orang utan" means "jungle person"). Same deal with
       | language/bahasa.
       | 
       | People saying "I speak Bahasa" sounds to me like people saying "I
       | speak Sprache" to say they know German or "I speak langue" for
       | French. It's eye-rollingly obnoxious.
        
         | tombh wrote:
         | Eye-rollingly obnoxious? I've literally heard native
         | Indonesians refer to their language as just "bahasa", though
         | admittedly those same speakers told me off for doing it myself.
         | So whilst I agree "bahasa" has a commonly incorrect usage I
         | don't think it is due to the typical "White Ignorance". I mean
         | at least the author actually went to the effort of learning a
         | non-European language right?
         | 
         | It's like "literally" in English has _changed_ its meaning.
         | Yeah of course it originally meant non-figuratively, but it is
         | clear to all that value language as a medium of communication
         | (rather than a measure of intellectual status) that it now has
         | another meaning as an intensifier.
        
           | DemocracyFTW wrote:
           | > I've literally heard native Indonesians refer to their
           | language as just "bahasa", though admittedly those same
           | speakers told me off for doing it myself
           | 
           | The second part could be indicative of this being usage only
           | acceptable for 'insiders' to employ, and the first part could
           | mean but does not have to mean that outsiders / speakers of
           | other languages / in other countries could and should use
           | those very words. For example, in an American context one
           | often hears "this country" to mean the USA, but that cannot
           | be transported into contexts based outside the USA.
           | Similarly, there's urinara /uri nara/ lit. 'our country' >
           | "Korea" in Korean but you wouldn't say "I'm flying to
           | Urinara" or "I'm flying to Our Country" when you're about to
           | board a plane to Seoul. In Japanese and Taiwan, the Japanese
           | language and the Chinese language are often referred to as
           | Guo Yu  lit. 'national language' > "Japanese" or "Chinese"
           | (depending on the language used). Of course you can't
           | normally say "Wo Bu Hui Jiang Guo Yu " in Chinese to mean "I
           | don't speak Japanese" except when the context is clear and
           | the listener can be expected that Guo Yu  may mean Japanese
           | in Japanese.
           | 
           | So Indonesians using "bahasa" in Indonesian doesn't
           | necessarily license using that word in English.
        
             | elefanten wrote:
             | This doesn't make sense. If the word/phrase expresses a
             | relative relationship to it's user, then that works on a
             | per user basis. Eg- Non-Americans can say "this country"
             | about their own countries. If the word/phrase is a generic
             | term in a given language, it often ends up having fixed
             | context --- eg "la Raza" as used by Latin American
             | communities.
             | 
             | Besides, the original commenter denied it's used at all. Gp
             | implies otherwise.
             | 
             | Broadly speaking, this whole business of trying to "own"
             | words on an identity basis is poisonous, corrosive and an
             | abuse of the tool of language.
        
             | tombh wrote:
             | That's a good point. Now that I think about it, the
             | Indonesians from whom I heard "bahasa" were actually also
             | native Javanese speakers. Bahasa Indonesia is of course a
             | lingua franca, and an increasingly imposing one for
             | minority languages, so maybe that could be a possible
             | source for your point that there are different connotations
             | for insiders and outsiders.
             | 
             | I didn't get your point about "this country". The only
             | thing I know is how it's inappropriate outside the USA, or
             | in a global context, to use America to mean the USA, as of
             | course the rest of the Americas also exist.
        
         | ithkuil wrote:
         | And don't forget Bahasa Malaysia
        
         | ta1234567890 wrote:
         | Interesting. It's similar to the use of the word "chai" in the
         | US. It originally means tea, but in the US it is used to mean a
         | specific blend/preparation (usually masala), so they say "I'll
         | have a chai tea", which literally means "I'll have a tea tea".
        
           | 8note wrote:
           | I thought masala meant spice mix?
           | 
           | Spiced tea is a bit more specific than tea tea, but not much
           | more
        
           | booleandilemma wrote:
           | See also: ATM machine, PIN number
        
             | NikolaNovak wrote:
             | "built on NT Technology" :)
        
           | grogenaut wrote:
           | carne asada grilled steak burrito for me
        
             | pksebben wrote:
             | To heavy for my taste, I'll have the ahi tuna.
        
       | socialdemocrat wrote:
       | Nordics and say Japanese may be listening cultures but in such a
       | profoundly different way that it is hard to put them in the same
       | group.
       | 
       | Japanese and Koreans speak in a very indirect and polite fashion.
       | Us Nordics tend to be very blunt and direct. But we share this
       | with the Dutch and Germans.
       | 
       | For me the main dividers are between direct and indirect
       | speakers.
       | 
       | Like Americans like to keep things a bit fluffy and casual until
       | they know you better or have sort of warmed up in the
       | conversation. We are often opposite. We like going straight to
       | the point and do the fluffy stuff last as way of ending a
       | conversation.
        
       | mathewsanders wrote:
       | I have a background in research, and moving to the United States
       | I've had some situations where I've coached people in a team
       | who've never directly talked to their customers. Something I
       | always have to do with Americans is to practice getting them
       | comfortable with silence.
       | 
       | A tip I stole from someone else (can't remember who otherwise I'd
       | credit) when asking a question in research interview is to stay
       | silent until you're feeling uncomfortable, and then count slowly
       | _another_ 3 seconds before asking a follow up prompt.
       | 
       | The majority of the time, people do have useful things to say if
       | you are willing to give them the space to speak.
        
       | sudasana wrote:
       | > In the 6th century, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu claimed that
       | "Silence is a source of great strength."
       | 
       | 6th century BCE, attributed.
        
         | imchillyb wrote:
         | Sounds like a speech he made up for his children at the dinner
         | table.
        
           | beckingz wrote:
           | Wisdom that is motivated by necessity and frivolousness. This
           | is the way.
        
       | nayuki wrote:
       | > Given the different ways silence is used in China (a listening
       | culture) and Canada (a speaking culture) ...
       | 
       | I observed the opposite. When I speak Chinese to Chinese people
       | in Toronto, Canada - friends/family/business - I find that they
       | speak faster, are more likely to interrupt or talk over me, and
       | tend to push their viewpoints instead of waiting to hear yours.
       | 
       | I've interacted with Chinese vs. Canadian bankers, salespeople,
       | doctors, etc., and the contrast is noticeable for me.
       | 
       | This isn't a statement about whether one way is better (e.g. I
       | find the Chinese are more straightforward with their intentions,
       | whereas Canadians leave more things implied); this is just an
       | observation about tendencies.
        
         | BadInformatics wrote:
         | Yeah, this is true in China as well IME. If anything, the
         | silence/noise ratio is closer to India than e.g. Japan. Perhaps
         | TFA is extrapolating from experiences in other East Asian
         | countries?
        
         | booleandilemma wrote:
         | Incidentally, one of the most high-strung, anxious people I've
         | ever met was a Buddhist. There was nothing Zen-like about this
         | person.
        
           | billyjobob wrote:
           | That makes sense if he was a convert to Buddhism, because
           | Buddhism in the West is marketed as a treatment for anxious
           | people.
        
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       (page generated 2021-07-11 23:00 UTC)