[HN Gopher] On Solitude ___________________________________________________________________ On Solitude Author : imartin2k Score : 120 points Date : 2021-09-27 07:18 UTC (15 hours ago) (HTM) web link (eriktorenberg.substack.com) (TXT) w3m dump (eriktorenberg.substack.com) | qzw wrote: | Of all the writings on solitude that I've come across, almost all | are from the male perspective. Anybody know of some good | female/other writings on the subject? I have daughters, and I'd | like to be able to better relate to them on this. | milquetoastaf wrote: | Check out the writings of Clarice Lispector, especially The | Passion According to G.H | bitten wrote: | Carson McCullers? | | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heart_Is_a_Lonely_Hunter to | start | david_b wrote: | I'm not sure to what degree her perspective is specifically | feminine, but Sara Maitland has written two books on solitude | and silence: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20518977-how- | to-be-alone https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4437202-a-book- | of-silenc... | LimitedInfo wrote: | I'm not sure that anything in this piece was gender influenced. | The author could have a female name and I wouldn't have been | surprised. | qzw wrote: | I think there are a lot of things that men take for granted | that are not equally available to women. To me, the thought | of going into the woods for a weekend with no connection to | the outside world sounds peaceful and rather wonderful. But | to my wife, it would sound downright alarming. I think it's | hard to focus on connecting with one's true self while also | worrying about one's physical safety. So I'd like to read | more female perspectives on actively seeking out solitude (as | opposed to just experiencing loneliness). | sologirlcamper wrote: | This seems like such a strange thing to say. Why does your | wife find having no connection to civilisation "downright | alarming"? If women are supposed to find outdoor solitude | frightening or something, nobody's told me! I'm hoping this | doesn't come across as angry, it just feels like a bizarre | thing to read. | 1auralynn wrote: | Somewhat unrelated to your point but something I always | found kind of hilarious is the fact that Thoreau had his | laundry and food shopping/prep done by some local women | while he was living his 'spartan' life in the woods. | franek wrote: | Ursula K. Le Guin, "Solitude", from the collection "The | Birthday of the World". Speculative story about a society whose | adults spent the majority of their lives alone. Told from a | female perspective. One of my favourites, to say the least. | danielam wrote: | Josef Pieper has written a couple of books ("Leisure: the Basis | of Culture" and "Happiness and Contemplation") about solitude and | contemplation that are worth a look. | jplr8922 wrote: | The author mentions that his technique is not meditation, but his | description is very similar to zen meditation ; just sitting in a | state of awareness. | | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shikantaza | crdrost wrote: | There is definitely something in common with _zazen_ but it is | worth not externalizing it for two reasons. | | 1. I was formerly a Buddhist and I find it unserious, maybe | even cringey or appropriative? People who are doing Buddhism | are actually on a larger journey which their meditation is a | component of, they want to train their attention to be able to | truly be present and free of the bullshit of this world... the | endless co-opting of mindfulness and meditation to "go out and | be a more productive paper-pusher" just seems kind of... I | don't know. Profane. Take something holy and put it into an | unholy context. Same like I don't make it a point to describe | it now as "bathing in the Holy Spirit without any other things | to direct yourself to other than your belovedness as an adopted | Child of God." You _can_ describe it that way, but if someone | 's not on that journey that is a rather profane and unsettling | thing to do, no? | | 2. By making it internal, for example by describing it as | "doing nothing," I think it makes it easier? If you are setting | up for _zazen_ then you might go out and buy a good mat, buy a | zafu, clear out a room so that you can stare at a blank wall, | listen to many podcasts about the goals and aims of meditation. | Like I said, this was an important part of my religious journey | and if you 're on one yourself, great! But the goal of _doing | nothing_ is much simpler than that and does not require special | preparation. | | I might have chosen an article more along the lines of (2), for | example https://www.insidethetravellab.com/the-importance-of- | doing-n... , where it's like "no we have seen this in a | neuroscience context, here are some resources about what this | is called in, say, athletic training contexts etc." Doesn't | matter where you do it, it matters what your responsibilities | are while you're doing it (namely, that you don't have any). | crazy_horse wrote: | Interesting that he notes Wallace there. | | Wallace was a lonely dude. I still really admire the things he | said about leadership and his fiction is truly | unique....loneliness is a theme throughout. I think I related to | him partially because of that. I recently came across an article | about him where he basically couldn't accept that fixing his | loneliness wasn't someone else' job. | | This seems relevant but it also bothered me and I think he should | be cited in the future with this huge caveat in mind. If he | wasn't a famous author he would've been known as a creepy | stalker. | | https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/05/th... | | https://twitter.com/marykarrlit/status/992735594060148737 | Zababa wrote: | I wonder if one day as a society we'll be able to accept again | that humans are flawed, and often the most popular are the most | flawed. That's not to excuse what he's done or anything like | that, but we can still find some interesting things or a bit of | peace in his words. The "huge caveat" you talk about applies to | pretty much everyone. | ssivark wrote: | Just wanted to share Deresiewicz's classic on the subject, for | those who haven't stumbled on it before: | https://theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/ | waynesonfire wrote: | thanks for sharing this. This is from 2009 and as I listen to | it for the first time, seems just as applicable today. | oakfr wrote: | Thank you for sharing. What a beautiful talk. | j05h wrote: | I just listened to this yesterday, very similar themes. | | https://onbeing.org/programs/stephen-batchelor-finding-ease-... ___________________________________________________________________ (page generated 2021-09-27 23:00 UTC)