[HN Gopher] What do people want in a co-founder?
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       What do people want in a co-founder?
        
       Author : sandslash
       Score  : 85 points
       Date   : 2021-10-21 15:01 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (blog.ycombinator.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (blog.ycombinator.com)
        
       | PragmaticPulp wrote:
       | > 65% of founders do Product
       | 
       | > 57% of founders do Operations
       | 
       | > 52% of founders do Sales and Marketing
       | 
       | > 37% of founders do Design
       | 
       | > 31% of founders do Engineering
       | 
       | > Engineers seem to be in high demand. Among founders who do not
       | do Engineering, 80% prefer a co-founder who does Engineering.
       | 
       | This mirrors what I've seen in every co-founder matching forum: A
       | huge imbalance of soft skills over engineering experience.
       | 
       | I'm sure some of those founders are extremely talented at
       | product, operations, sales, and design. However, there are many
       | others who fit the classic "idea guy" stereotype.
       | 
       | One thing I've learned from using co-founder matchmaking services
       | like this is how hard it is to tell the difference between the
       | two types of founders from credentials alone. A striking number
       | of the people with impressive resumes and FAANG backgrounds got
       | there by mastering big company skills and working their way up
       | the ladder and through interview processes. Eventually they
       | conclude that a startup is just more of the same big skills but
       | with them at the top of the org chart.
       | 
       | Some of the most promising people I've talked to on these
       | platforms had less traditionally impressive resumes. They didn't
       | necessarily have Ivy League university backgrounds or FAANG
       | companies on their resume. That's likely what led them to use
       | these platforms in the first place: Smaller personal networks
       | that necessitate reaching farther for potential co-founders.
       | 
       | These services can be interesting, but it really feels like a
       | numbers game. Be prepared to take a lot of conversations very
       | quickly, don't let impressive credentials alone sway you, and
       | don't get discouraged by the volume of negative matches.
        
         | mancerayder wrote:
         | I'd like to comment here as a tech person that's moved into
         | management. Not as a founder, but I've done consulting in the
         | past and I've worked in all sized companies.
         | 
         | As I've become less technical, I occasionally come across the
         | highly technical, often almost genius-like engineer who fails
         | to comprehend organizational structure and social structures.
         | They fail to 'see' them, so sometimes decisions that you make
         | as manager, or that the company makes, feel foreign to them.
         | And so they often have cynical ideas (often found online) about
         | companies, managers and so forth.
         | 
         | While some of the cynical stuff can often be true, my point is
         | this: the successful engineer is also someone with social
         | skills, and that includes company skills as you put it.
         | 
         | The person with pure ladder climbing skills is a fraud. But the
         | person who can both be technical 'enough' and understand
         | organizational and human structures can help things scale.
         | 
         | What's missing from the conversation is Creativity, I think, or
         | maybe it's me that's out of touch. Successful people seem to be
         | ones that aren't afraid to take unique approaches to solving
         | problems. Sometimes 'engineers' are highly talented but they're
         | looking for blueprints and patterns to follow rather than
         | create - and I am not talking about code.
        
       | waprin wrote:
       | I briefly floated a profile on there, though I decided to take a
       | new full time job and focus on that for a while instead.
       | 
       | While on the platform, I was flooded with non technical people
       | who didn't have much besides an idea and an MBA. I guess if they
       | could credibly raise money/sell product then maybe it would make
       | sense but I was highly skeptical of the value add, and I got the
       | feeling a lot of them were looking for a free dev to build some
       | big product that they now get to shop around to investors, taking
       | 50% of the equity for doing so.
       | 
       | The #1 skill I am always hoping to find someone with that I vibe
       | with is design. No matter what you build, both UX design and a
       | consistent visual aesthetic are very important. For some reason
       | SWEs make more money than designers in industry but whenever
       | you're at startup network events it always seems SWEs outnumber
       | designers 3 to 1. And likewise I didn't see many people with
       | design portfolios on this platform.
       | 
       | I'm surprised so few people care about where there cofounder
       | lives. It seems YC is geared towards situations where you go all
       | in, work hard full time on the project etc. That would be a
       | situation where I would most care about a strong relationship
       | that I think would be much easier to build in person.
        
         | kirillzubovsky wrote:
         | > "people who didn't have much besides an idea and an MBA"
         | 
         | I've not tried any co-founder dating sites, but this rings
         | hilarious true based on a few conversations I've had in the
         | past. Basically X-airbnb-stripe-froogle-box employees, who were
         | able to raise tens of millions based on an idea, and nothing
         | else, now looking for "co-founders" to whom they are willing to
         | give 1% of equity. Made me lol a little.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | nicoburns wrote:
         | For me it would be sales and the "business" side of things. And
         | perhaps some domain expertise. I can do design competently
         | enough to make it work (I do most the design work at my current
         | company despite nominally being the lead software engineer).
         | 
         | The problem I have is that I have no idea how one would go
         | about evaluating someones capability at that skillset.
        
           | robocat wrote:
           | > The problem I have is that I have no idea how one would go
           | about evaluating someones capability at that skillset.
           | 
           | I am a typical engineer type, and the few times I have
           | correctly picked someone was when I was working directly with
           | them - you can then tell real talent from their real world
           | effects, even if it is not your own skill set.
           | 
           | Also one critical attribute when selecting a co-founder is
           | integrity - if you can't trust them then their other skills
           | don't matter. Working closely with someone gives you a chance
           | to judge that - it is otherwise very difficult.
        
           | kilbuz wrote:
           | What other side of a startup is there, besides "business"?
        
           | OnlineGladiator wrote:
           | > The problem I have is that I have no idea how one would go
           | about evaluating someones capability at that skillset.
           | 
           | I'm not pretending this is the best way to approach it (I'd
           | approach it very differently, but I have the benefit of
           | already having started my own company), but start with the
           | obvious: ask them what they'd contribute and just let the
           | questions flow naturally from there. If they can't sell
           | themselves to you, they almost certainly can't sell
           | themselves to investors, customers, and future employees.
        
         | yarcob wrote:
         | > I'm surprised so few people care about where there cofounder
         | lives.
         | 
         | If I wanted to find someone in my city, a global website would
         | be the last place I'd look. Maybe the people who use a global
         | matching platform are more interested in finding someone with
         | specific skills / interests rather than someone who lives
         | nearby.
        
           | waprin wrote:
           | Well even if I want to find someone local, doesn't mean I can
           | just walk outside and find them, especially since the
           | pandemic shut down most events in the Bay Area. Dating apps
           | seem pretty popular and I think vast majority of people on
           | those platforms are looking for someone local.
        
             | yarcob wrote:
             | It took many years before dating platforms became viable. I
             | remember trying some dating websites early on, and there
             | just weren't any people in my area at all. It was fun
             | looking at the profiles, but it wasn't actually useful for
             | meeting people yet.
             | 
             | I would assume that a cofounder matching platform with
             | 16000 profiles has a similar problem, it's just too few
             | people to bother looking for local matches.
        
           | jasode wrote:
           | _> Maybe the people who use a global matching platform are
           | more interested in finding someone with specific skills /
           | interests rather than someone who lives nearby._
           | 
           | Maybe there's a misunderstanding because there are no obvious
           | screen shots but it says you can filter on _location_. Thus,
           | a  "global" matching platform becomes a _local_ one. It 's
           | not is if one is endlessly scrolling 15000 profiles hoping
           | for a local person to appear.
           | 
           | It's still a relative numbers game. Finding a nearby
           | potential co-founder in a subset on a _popular_ website such
           | as YC is more likely than a local website such as
           | lasvegas.craigslist.org
        
         | ctvo wrote:
         | > _The #1 skill I am always hoping to find someone with that I
         | vibe with is design. No matter what you build, both UX design
         | and a consistent visual aesthetic are very important_
         | 
         | Is it surprising? Design is cheap, and outsourced. You can go
         | very far with a single contractor designer picked up from
         | dribbble.com (think ~1-5k USD max for the entire MVP and
         | marketing site). The quality is excellent and will last you
         | well into later funding rounds.
         | 
         | Another thing to consider is products that differentiate on UX
         | are much harder to launch. And when they do, it's more
         | engineering than design that ensures it succeeds. I think about
         | SnapChat. It's great to say X would be a great user experience,
         | but boy, good luck finding a skilled iOS dev to make that
         | happen.
        
           | robocat wrote:
           | > Design is cheap, and outsourced
           | 
           | I think the concept we need here is "taste" - that ability to
           | recognise something is great, and ideally the ability to know
           | what will work and be able to make it happen.
           | 
           | Often you want to have a designer because you are paying them
           | for their taste, and perhaps not so much for their technical
           | skills. Perhaps you personally are the opposite, where you
           | have the taste and ability to spec, and you just want to have
           | someone do what you ask.
           | 
           | There is a stereotype of founders with no taste, who drive
           | the production of hideous products.
           | 
           | A sensible founder that doesn't have great taste needs a
           | cofounder or employee that does have great taste, and the
           | founder needs to give that person the authority to drive the
           | aesthetic of the product. That role is usually given to a
           | designer - and I suspect that you are misunderstanding what
           | waprin (the person you are replying to) meant.
        
           | waprin wrote:
           | By that logic, you can hire a freelance dev to do all the
           | programming too. There are some pretty good people out there
           | who aren't that expensive. But there's a bunch of risks with
           | that approach and they are similar to the ones where you
           | outsource design - you will constantly have to re-hire if you
           | need pivots, there might be major friction switching people,
           | and the costs can start to add up. It's not 100% analogous,
           | freelance design is a bit cheaper, it's easier to spot bad
           | designers etc, but I think the analogy somewhat holds.
           | 
           | Consider that the #1 market cap YC company of all time -
           | AirBnB - was started by 2 founders with a background in
           | design.
        
             | mbesto wrote:
             | > By that logic, you can hire a freelance dev to do all the
             | programming too.
             | 
             | And there's plenty of successful companies that do this
             | btw.
             | 
             | > But there's a bunch of risks with that approach and they
             | are similar to the ones where you outsource design - you
             | will constantly have to re-hire if you need pivots, there
             | might be major friction switching people, and the costs can
             | start to add up.
             | 
             | This is simply not true. This can happen regardless of
             | wether you outsource your dev team or not.
             | 
             | > Consider that the #1 market cap YC company of all time -
             | AirBnB - was started by 2 founders with a background in
             | design.
             | 
             | One of the top 50 largest companies in the world was
             | started by an engineer who dropped out of school. What's
             | your point? Correlation != causation.
             | 
             | Outsourcing is such a dirty word here and I don't get it.
             | It's objectively not a _bad_ option, it just has different
             | risks.
        
             | ctvo wrote:
             | > _By that logic, you can hire a freelance dev to do all
             | the programming too._
             | 
             | The market for developer talent and designer talent are
             | visibly different. Different in terms of supply,
             | compensation (as a factor of supply), and risk (due to the
             | compensation!). Risk here is you mostly take the word of
             | the developer they're competent. We come up with elaborate
             | interview processes for this (if you have an idea for a
             | better process... ). For a designer, a portfolio clearly
             | demonstrates they're competent. This makes outsourcing and
             | freelancing more viable, increasing supply, and driving
             | down the overall costs, in my opinion.
             | 
             | I won't touch on actual skill / investment in becoming a
             | good designer vs. developer except to say I think there's
             | differences there too, at least outside of the tail.
             | 
             | I would circle back to my second point, that even if you
             | have an excellent designer, someone still needs to
             | implement it and not make it janky. I think it explains, as
             | a whole, why people gravitate towards engineering co-
             | founders if they don't have the skillset.
             | 
             | > _Consider that the #1 market cap YC company of all time -
             | AirBnB - was started by 2 founders with a background in
             | design._
             | 
             | I don't think Airbnb won on design or would consider design
             | its moat. Designers can also be excellent leaders and
             | executives.
        
               | waprin wrote:
               | Fair points, but a note on AirBnB with the caveat that I
               | only know the public information and never worked there.
               | To me, their only moat is their brand and the network
               | effects they built with that brand. The famous stories
               | are them fundraising by selling Obama themed cheerios,
               | and going to apartments helping hosts take better
               | pictures. Neither of those things are the "cranking out
               | iPhone mocks" you'd expect from a freelance designer but
               | seem like stories fundamentally linked to their design
               | backgrounds and ability to tell stories in the visual
               | world. Strong design probably matters more for something
               | like Snapchat than Coinbase so I'm sure it depends.
               | You're probably right in your explanation for why Eng
               | skills are more in demand but I still suspect you're
               | understating the impact of a great designer.
        
               | ctvo wrote:
               | In my opinion empathy for users (doubly important in a
               | multi sided marketplace e.g. hosts and guests) helped
               | Airbnb succeed. They no doubt removed friction, and
               | prioritized that internally, and that helped them become
               | an aggregator for their new market but unclear if it was
               | due to being designers that provided this insight.
               | 
               | I think for an early stage startup you need to make
               | tradeoffs. What skills can we get with our founding
               | team's overlap, and what skills can we easily fill? Of
               | course, the person matters so much more than these
               | checkboxes, and I don't think anyone would suggest _not_
               | working with a designer, but I think it does explain why
               | so many are looking for technical founders.
        
               | waprin wrote:
               | But I was complaining about the exact opposite- I have a
               | hard time finding potential design cofounders as an
               | engineer, and every hackathon and similar events seems to
               | be filled with engineers , but short on designers even
               | though designers win pitches more than engineers (you can
               | fake implementation for a demo but can't fake design).
               | 
               | The fact that it's harder to find designers than
               | engineers for founders despite the opposite dynamic in
               | the job market is what I was saying was surprising.
               | 
               | The platform does not have many designers looking for
               | technical founders. As I said, it's filled with MBAs.
               | When pressed what skills they would contribute, they say
               | things like "backend finance." Usually either they have
               | no money but need you to build a complex project before
               | you can think about raising money (raising the question
               | why not just build it and pitch VCs yourself), or they
               | already raised money but want to give you some absurdly
               | low percentage (you're not really cofounder).
               | 
               | Are there people in there that would be able to raise
               | money /sell the product if you built it? Maybe but others
               | have discussed why that's the hardest of all skills to
               | vet for.
               | 
               | Either way if the platform was filled with strong
               | designers interested in partnering with technical
               | cofounders I'd be much happier and speak more highly of
               | it.
        
         | PragmaticPulp wrote:
         | > I'm surprised so few people care about where there cofounder
         | lives.
         | 
         | I got the impression that many of the people using these
         | services felt they had already exhausted their local networks
         | and decided to look more broadly.
         | 
         | I also suspect that many of these founders plan to build full-
         | remote companies anyway.
         | 
         | That I said - I agree. I'd want my co-founder to be local if at
         | all possible, even though I've worked remotely for many years.
         | The co-founder relationship is too important.
        
       | mrkramer wrote:
       | A friend who is ready to help and who will not leave me when
       | difficult times come.
        
       | Graffur wrote:
       | Someone nice, eager, available, smart and driven
        
       | wanderinghogan wrote:
       | A tech-literate business person who is around the same life stage
       | as me (or are sympathetic/able to work with people in different
       | life stages), if I were looking.
        
       | fierro wrote:
       | killer instinct
        
       | jollybean wrote:
       | First issues are Integrity, Trust, 'Business Maturity' (i.e. can
       | communicate reasonably, operationally competent) etc..
       | 
       | It's like a rocky marriage with divorces and re-marriages, you
       | have to really trust and get along, even when visions are not
       | aligned.
       | 
       | If you don't have that it will be very difficult.
        
       | timavr wrote:
       | - Decent Human Being - Hard Worker - Wicked Smart - Someone I
       | want to spend time with
        
       | earksiinni wrote:
       | I signed up for the platform as an engineer looking for non-
       | engineers. Unlike some of the engineer types here, I'm of the
       | opinion that engineering is as important (not more important)
       | than non-technical skill sets. In some startups, it's probably
       | less important.
       | 
       | The problem is that the profiles I match with read like resumes.
       | I don't care too much that you were early employee at XYZ Corp or
       | that you had a successful $100m exit. I care about your heart.
       | 
       | I've cofounded too many times with cofounders whose worldview,
       | politics, and level of emotional empathy and openness were
       | incompatible with mine. It sucked every time and was the #1 cause
       | for failure.
       | 
       | Sometimes I feel like a vox clamantis in deserto when it comes to
       | advocating for founders with higher emotional awareness. I'm
       | happy whenever I read posts on HN about why neurodiversity
       | matters in tech, but they almost always focus on folks on the
       | spectrum. Then there are folks like me, oftentimes survivors of
       | abuse who are neuro-atypical in a different way. We are empaths--
       | and very much not fitting in the mold of a "typical" engineer or
       | how non-engineers perceive typical engineers.
       | 
       | I don't need a fellow empath as a co-founder, but at least I need
       | someone who understands where I'm coming from and is compatible.
       | Brag sheets tend to drive me away, but that's the ethos we've
       | built into our industry, so I don't blame the individuals.
        
         | theaussiestew wrote:
         | I've had the experience that you mention here too, basically a
         | really competent co-founder but someone with a vastly different
         | worldview. You can't really change someone's worldview, so it
         | was tough to find out later.
         | 
         | I'm curious, what area of need would you service if you did
         | find a co-founder that was more self-aware?
        
         | what_is_orcas wrote:
         | Fellow engineer here who cares about the same things you report
         | here.
         | 
         | Did you just give up (using that platform)? Did you find a
         | better platform?
        
           | earksiinni wrote:
           | I didn't give up per se, but I'm not actively checking it,
           | either. Sometimes I get emails about matches, which I read.
           | Haven't found any that clicked so far.
           | 
           | Right now, though, I'm going through a phase where I'm
           | doubting whether I want to do a startup at all. Still fully
           | onboard for entrepreneurship, but I'm questioning whether the
           | startup path (especially the VC path) is right for my goals.
           | 
           | I am, however, interested in making organic connections with
           | like-minded individuals. Perhaps like right here, in the
           | comments of HN ;-)
        
       | sam0x17 wrote:
       | Technical founders who have decided to take on bizdev stuff in
       | this role but know what they're talking about when it comes to
       | the tech stack are an incredible asset. Nothing better than an
       | ex-engineer as a COO/CEO/etc
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | weezin wrote:
       | Someone good at things I suck at.
        
       | andrew_ wrote:
       | My needs are simple: Deep domain knowledge and deep trust.
        
         | avmich wrote:
         | Can the latter be had at all, in a short order? Maybe if it's
         | impossible, another criteria would be useful?
        
           | ksec wrote:
           | My thought on the issue is to talk about hard topics (
           | politics ). I think that is the easiest way to test one
           | person's character.
        
       | notenoughbeans wrote:
       | I want someone that can sell what I've built.
        
         | yarcob wrote:
         | I've met (and worked with) people who built something, and were
         | looking for someone to sell it.
         | 
         | The unfortunate truth is that this usually doesn't work because
         | of two reasons:
         | 
         | 1) If you can't convince anybody to buy your product, you also
         | won't be able to convince anybody to sell your product. You
         | need to be able to at least sell your idea to the cofounder.
         | 
         | 2) If you've never tried selling your product, and have never
         | interacted with your customers, chances are that what you built
         | doesn't solve anybodys problem. I've never seen a successful
         | product that was a hit right away without any user testing and
         | iteration based on user feedback, but some people are convinced
         | their product is different.
        
         | hunterb123 wrote:
         | This. I love developing, marketing, and branding but I have no
         | connections.
         | 
         | I want someone to handle people and let me handle product.
        
         | jollybean wrote:
         | 1) You want someone who can tell you what will sell, if you
         | build it.
         | 
         | 2) Also, it's never clear. So you want someone who you can work
         | with to forge a path through the jungle.
        
         | anonymouse008 wrote:
         | What have you built?
        
           | short12 wrote:
           | What have you sold is a far far more important question
        
           | notenoughbeans wrote:
           | I have created some low-code, zero-code devtools for personal
           | use I want to polish and get on the market.
        
             | anonymouse008 wrote:
             | Hot market right now -- have a (public) readme / repo /
             | anything?
        
               | notenoughbeans wrote:
               | Still a work in progress. I'm planning on sharing it once
               | it's more ready.
        
               | Grimm1 wrote:
               | In my experience that's a trap, if you have a small set
               | of useable features, release it now and get feedback from
               | real people.
        
               | andrewnc wrote:
               | As they say in the start up world "Ship It!"
               | 
               | I've seen lots of advice that says people ship too late.
               | I'm not sure if that's the case here, but something to
               | consider.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | Don't pay attention to the other "just ship it" comments,
               | it'll be ready when it's ready. Too many people like to
               | walk out that trite phrase when they have no knowledge on
               | what you're doing or where you're at yet want to seem
               | like they know something you don't. It's annoying.
        
               | Grimm1 wrote:
               | First, at least in regards to my comment -- that's
               | entirely reductionist. Second, I commented because it's
               | one of the hardest things, in my opinion as an engineer
               | myself, to overcome. You're interpretation of people
               | wanting to seem like someone knows something they don't
               | is at best uncharitable. My comment comes from a place of
               | hopefully being helpful and giving someone a nudge for a
               | thing that is definitely uncomfortable (showing your baby
               | to the world) and showing some sense of camaraderie that
               | a lot of us have been there.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | It might seem helpful but it's not. Obviously this is my
               | opinion but it's disrespectful to the engineer doing the
               | work to essentially shame them into releasing something
               | that they have a vision for early.
               | 
               | Who knows what shape it's in, who knows if it's bugged?
               | Releasing something to just get it out there and it's so
               | bugged, the users run away.
               | 
               | I understand why you are saying what you are saying but
               | maybe try to look at it from a different perspective
               | because whenever someone says that to me, it's demeaning.
               | I (we) know what we're doing and perfectly capable of
               | judging when something is "done".
        
               | Grimm1 wrote:
               | Edit: I'll make a quick edit because the below sounded
               | too aggressive to me after reading it again like two
               | minutes later. Your point that not everyone takes
               | unsolicited advice well because it feels like it
               | undermines their own skill and knowledge is noted and I
               | have run into people who think similarly to you, but I
               | think it's helpful more than not to a wider group of
               | people and it helped me so I will consider the thought in
               | a given situation but I will likely continue to give the
               | advice.
               | 
               | ----
               | 
               | Right which is why I qualified it with "If you have a
               | small set of useable features". Honestly, feeling shamed
               | is your hang up, same with feeling demeaned. I've had
               | that said to me and it motivated me and was helpful,
               | because I had been holding back.
               | 
               | I guess we'll agree to disagree because I don't know you
               | and I don't want to like armchair psychology here. But,
               | I'm certainly not going to tiptoe around every word
               | though just because someone somewhere may be offended,
               | especially in this case where I believe most people would
               | find it helpful.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | I'm also not directly targeting you, my comment was to
               | the OP. There was another comment that said very similar
               | things that you alluded to, which kind of helps prove my
               | point that this advice is parroted everywhere without any
               | consideration for the developer themselves and their
               | unique situation.
        
               | notenoughbeans wrote:
               | Hey, I appreciate both of your advice. I have some usable
               | features that work great on my dev environment, so now
               | I'm mostly working on getting things reliably working in
               | the cloud.
        
         | short12 wrote:
         | This is what I thought I had. But in reality both cofounders
         | need to be hard sales people first and foremost and building
         | shit becomes a distant 2nd priority.
         | 
         | But I agree with you a hundred percent. That's the ideal
         | situation for someone that likes to build
        
       | sudosteph wrote:
       | If I were to bring on a co-founder at this point, I'd want
       | someone who is willing to live in the same city as me, is
       | charming AF, and has some complementary skillset that will remain
       | valuable as the company scales (sales/marketing and data
       | engineering/analytics being the big two for my startup). But me
       | and my co-founder are actually doing alright without a 3rd, so
       | will probably just be picky about first hires.
        
         | sillysaurusx wrote:
         | > willing to live in the same city as me, is charming AF, and
         | has some complementary skillset that will remain valuable
         | 
         | A spouse tends to have all of these. Hmm...
        
           | sudosteph wrote:
           | Well, my spouse IS my current co-founder, so clearly I chose
           | wisely.
        
             | xwdv wrote:
             | So you have a family business.
        
       | dasil003 wrote:
       | You know in 20+ years of founding and working at a bunch of
       | different startups and companies ranging from big companies in
       | fly-over country, to team-of-2 bootstrapped 6-figure businesses,
       | and all the way up to super hot pre-IPO unicorns; one thing I've
       | learned is that great people that you gel with and might want to
       | start a company with are everywhere in equal proportions.
       | 
       | Sure, there are probably slightly more of them in Silicon Valley,
       | but also SV is full of wannabes who are playing house, so the
       | signal to noise ratio is actually less. I feel any kind co-
       | founder dating suffers from the exact same thing. YC's name gives
       | it more legitimacy, but that very fact attracts more dedicated
       | wannabes who are just playing house harder.
       | 
       | Ultimately after all these years I keep coming back to Joel
       | Spolsky's idea of working with people who are "smart and get
       | things done". That's it. I am skeptical I will find someone I
       | want to work with on a co-founder dating site, because the people
       | I want to work with are too busy trying to do a thing with the
       | resources available to them versus looking for a longshot silver
       | bullet. There are exceptions of course, but this is just my gut
       | instinct, you might take it with a grain of salt since I waste a
       | lot of time commenting on HN :)
        
         | jdavis703 wrote:
         | > Sure, there are probably slightly more of them in Silicon
         | Valley, but also SV is full of wannabes who are playing house,
         | so the signal to noise ratio is actually less.
         | 
         | I started in DC and moved to the SFBA. Maybe I was around the
         | wrong people in DC, but it sure seems a lot easier to at least
         | find good people out here. It's not that SV has magical water
         | or anything. It's simply there's more people with startup
         | experienced, and more people who come here to gain that
         | experience.
         | 
         | I imagine the reverse is also true. If government and policy
         | were my passion, I prevent would've been best staying in DC.
         | Even though there's plenty of talented government execs and
         | policy experts everywhere.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | dgs_sgd wrote:
         | What is playing house?
        
           | quotz wrote:
           | Pretending
        
           | andyferris wrote:
           | Pretending.
           | 
           | Kids play a game where someone pretends to be the mum, the
           | dad, the baby, etc, and pretend be family. So someone is
           | pretending be a responsible parent (and the commenter here is
           | insinuating the wannabe co-founder is just pretending they
           | have the necessary skills and abilities). As a kid, we never
           | really had a name for it, but adults seem to refer to the
           | activity as "playing house".
        
             | dgs_sgd wrote:
             | Ah, thanks
        
         | giantg2 wrote:
         | As The Offspring say, "the world needs wannabes" (Pretty Fly
         | For A White Guy).
         | 
         | I want to be a successful and well compensated software
         | engineer. Thus I try. Maybe one day I will succeed.
        
         | kirillzubovsky wrote:
         | > "people I want to work with are too busy trying to do a thing
         | with the resources available to them versus looking for a
         | longshot silver bullet."
         | 
         | Right on. Most people I'd co-found anything with in a heart
         | beat are too busy with 101 things already. The question isn't
         | who I would want to work with, but how to convince them that
         | _this_ venture is worth dropping everything else in the world
         | for.
        
         | codegeek wrote:
         | I have been on the y combinator co-founder portal and so far,
         | it has not been that great. Most people either don't respond or
         | if they do, they are really mostly interested in their own
         | ideas and I know the irony of saying this because I have my own
         | ideas.
         | 
         | I really believe that finding a co-founder is almost impossible
         | to plan but it is more of an accident. Unless you have worked
         | with someone for a while and know their strengths and
         | weaknesses, no site can solve this problem.
         | 
         | Having said this, if you have a great co-founder, you truly are
         | very lucky because I know how lonely it gets as a solo founder.
        
           | smoldesu wrote:
           | It might be a case of Survivorship Bias (erm... anti-bias).
           | The people out there who are still looking for co-founders
           | are likely saddled with a business proposition that most
           | people find objectionable.
        
         | mikepurvis wrote:
         | Completely agree. I'm an employee right now, but if I were ever
         | looking for a co-founder, my shortlist would be the people I've
         | worked with, hacking together some random project at all hours.
        
       | chadash wrote:
       | _" Among founders who do not do Engineering, 80% prefer a co-
       | founder who does Engineering."_
       | 
       | I'm sure this familiar to any engineer on this site. "I have this
       | great idea for an app, and I just need you to build it. We'll
       | split the company 50/50."
        
         | anyfactor wrote:
         | As a dev I entertain this idea on 4 criteria - 1. You are a
         | veteran in the target industry. 2. You have connections and you
         | are well-liked. 3. You can sell to those people. 4. There is a
         | mutual trust and respect between us.
         | 
         | If you know the industry inside out and you are willing to
         | sell, I would have no problem to partner up. But usually those
         | who are successful in an industry rarely have enough time to
         | invest in a startup.
         | 
         | People I want to partner up with are so busy managing their
         | business, client and family, they will just end up having a
         | custom software made with their money and try to sell that.
        
         | corobo wrote:
         | "Oh cool! Show me your business plan!"
        
         | yawnxyz wrote:
         | At first I thought it'd be great to pick up engineering and say
         | yes to some of these founders.
         | 
         | After becoming a designer/engineer I've realized that most of
         | these ideas take shape during the engineering process. And the
         | process will in turn change and twist the idea itself based on
         | customer interviews and iterative prototypes.
         | 
         | The engineering process leads to better "ideas" that replace
         | the initial ideas. But most non-engineer, first-time founders
         | don't realize that's the case. The engineering process also
         | pokes so many holes in the first idea, because they require the
         | idea to actually be fleshed out...
         | 
         | Maybe I'm just bitter about working with doe-eyed, non-
         | technical first time "idea person" kind of founders.
        
       | sushsjsuauahab wrote:
       | Not applicable, I just need introductions to people who might
       | want to buy what I sell, and a lawyer to protect me.
        
       | WalterBright wrote:
       | I want them to have the leet business skillz I don't have. I
       | don't want a clone of myself with the same strengths and faults.
        
       | dahart wrote:
       | Having gone through it, I think the single most important things
       | are missing. Your co-founder needs to have the same vision as
       | you, they need to want the same outcome. And you don't find out
       | that you want different outcomes for a _long_ time, it's very
       | very easy in the beginning to agree you both want a successful
       | company, for your software to be awesome, and for money to roll
       | in. Later when things get real, you may discover your shared
       | vision isn't quite as shared as you thought.
       | 
       | The other thing I want in a co-founder is someone who will have
       | my back unflinchingly and always when speaking to others, whether
       | it's investors or customers or just friends and family, because
       | inevitably things will come up that worry you which can sow
       | mistrust if not caught quickly. I was lucky to have such a co-
       | founder, and I actually feel guilty for worrying that they didn't
       | always support me. I tried to return the trust at all times. But
       | note that discovering differing visions can and does threaten
       | your ability to know if a co-founder trusts you! I think it's a
       | miracle that companies survive, knowing how easy it is for people
       | to want different things.
        
       | boulos wrote:
       | Fwiw, the survey design missed an important aspect of "don't care
       | about location": most people are probably assuming a lot of time
       | zone overlap. So they might say "don't care about location" (true
       | in some sense), but wouldn't have said "Yes! Sign me up for a
       | 12-hour time difference!".
        
       | giantg2 wrote:
       | This sounds like a cool service. I wish I had more time and
       | skills to make a profile.
        
       | handrous wrote:
       | - Fat rolodex full of rich people they know well enough that they
       | might say yes to chatting over golf, and who aren't risk-averse
       | (I have zero such people in mine, so this would be a must).
       | 
       | - Domain knowledge--but, very specifically, knowledge of how to
       | navigate the legal and business environment of that domain,
       | especially all the "secret" stuff. If they don't know what X or Y
       | is called or how to do some procedure that only low-on-the-totem-
       | pole people do, that's fine--if they've got the rest of this,
       | then they'll surely know people we can ask/interview for those
       | parts.
       | 
       | - At least enough sales skills to get the folks from the first
       | point to fund us OR to make some useful introductions OR to
       | grease some wheels.
        
         | neonate wrote:
         | Are golf and such things still important to startups nowadays?
         | I would have hoped that was dying off already.
        
           | Kluny wrote:
           | You can meet people at improv club, hockey or mountain biking
           | instead, but you still have to meet people somehow, right?
        
             | lisper wrote:
             | And you are _much_ more likely to meet potential investors
             | on a golf course than at an improv club.
        
           | snarf21 wrote:
           | I think it is still important to Angels. Angels want to
           | invest in people/teams that are "like" them. They are more
           | likely to trust other country club types that they assume
           | have the same background and social circles they do. A lot of
           | Angels don't care about the money or the return, it is about
           | having stuff to talk about over drinks or between holes on
           | the course. "I'm in a couple of blockchain start-ups that are
           | really promising". It is about being interesting and in the
           | know. Viability is meaningless.
        
           | aketchum wrote:
           | "golf" is just a euphemism that sometimes literally means
           | golf, but other times means any type of social activity that
           | can be used to build relationships. What did you hope was
           | dying off? There will always be a need for people who have
           | and can form strong relationships with rich people who are
           | looking for new investments.
        
           | kilbuz wrote:
           | Golf was big and is now bigger. Drawing in many younger
           | folks, too.
        
           | mbesto wrote:
           | If you're in enterprise software, yes.
           | 
           | Try selling your CRM to the VP of Sales of a regional
           | retailer who lives in Phoenix and NOT take him out to play
           | golf.
        
           | handrous wrote:
           | So are country clubs, and social clubs that organize
           | fundraising galas and such. Joining them to make useful
           | business contacts very probably works pretty well (I've not
           | tried, but I've done some looking--note that the social clubs
           | are usually exclusively for women--yes, even in 2021--but men
           | attend the events). Tennis is still huge. Skiing. That stuff
           | changes slowly, if at all--you and I just aren't part of it,
           | so we can imagine it's some old-fashioned thing that's all
           | but extinct, if we don't go looking for it.
           | 
           | Most of the shit from the now-ancient Official Preppy
           | Handbook is still _basically_ true, in fact, as far as I can
           | tell.
           | 
           | The tech version of "where to meet people to make
           | connections" is probably rock climbing gyms, right now.
           | That'd be for barely-rich new money people connected to tech,
           | or for programmers if you're looking to hire. Every group has
           | their in-crowd preferences.
        
           | bastardoperator wrote:
           | Some people still think the biggest deals are happening on
           | the golf course, I think most deals over the past 18 months
           | likely happened via zoom.
        
             | dgfitz wrote:
             | Oh I'm not so sure. I know a LOT of people who took up golf
             | during last summer/fall. It was one of the few outdoor
             | sports you could safely play with friends.
        
           | RussianCow wrote:
           | This is very far from dying off. A friend of mine recently
           | started a company, and close to 100% of the money they raised
           | was a direct result of squeezing into golf games, ski trips,
           | and retreats with prospective investors. My salesperson
           | friends regularly score very large deals over games of golf
           | or similar activities.
           | 
           | You'd think that the merits of your product would be enough
           | to carry your sales, but in practice, sales is primarily
           | driven by your network, which involves getting close to as
           | many people as possible. Turns out, it's easier to do that
           | over golf than via formal meetings.
        
       | costcofries wrote:
       | I think the answer is usually, someone who has skills that you
       | don't. When I think about looking for a co-founder, I know what
       | specific skills I am looking for, there is a gap, this second
       | person would fill that gap. Some other thoughts:
       | 
       | - Specific skill set (what is their expertise) - Values alignment
       | - Ways of working (work life balance, etc) - Communication style
       | - Conflict resolution and disagreement management
        
       | zalebz wrote:
       | A few initial thoughts jump out at me:
       | 
       | someone I respect in a domain of life I respect (could be
       | music/athletics/relationships/humor/whatever but ultimately it is
       | a reason I enjoy them as a person and in times of adversity can't
       | dismiss them as a disposable generic employee)
       | 
       | moreover, the above attribute also often demonstrates a healthy
       | life balance outside of work, and this will help prevent
       | workaholic burnout which is a very real pitfall ina startup
       | 
       | someone that has motivation/ambition in a domain(s) that I do not
       | (maybe I can do a particular skill and even at a competent level,
       | but I'd rather have a partner that enjoys it and reads up about
       | it in their spare time even if they aren't as "good" at that
       | skill as I am right now)
       | 
       | someone that has been challenged in life in some fashion. again
       | the domain isn't as important as the experience of facing
       | pressure/adversity and finding that extra gear within oneself to
       | emerge. and furthermore then wanting to start the next challenge
       | despite having already gone through the wringer. in my experience
       | there are people who thrive under pressure and those that tend to
       | hide/crumble when challenged. you obviously want the former and
       | some that has been tested.
       | 
       | there are plenty of other attributes that are covered by great
       | replies that I won't repeat. I felt these seemed a bit distinct
       | (at least when I posted) and worth mentioning
        
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