[HN Gopher] How to Quit Like a Boss
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       How to Quit Like a Boss
        
       Author : stuhlmueller
       Score  : 37 points
       Date   : 2022-01-06 21:16 UTC (1 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (jmsbrdy.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (jmsbrdy.com)
        
       | feisar wrote:
       | Good work to those who wrote it. If you have a better contract in
       | hand then yes you should probably quit. With that being said
       | however if you leave on bad terms and your next job asks to
       | contact the manager from your previous job the would probably say
       | that you left on bad terms and might ruin your reputation.
        
       | alfalfasprout wrote:
       | I'm glad that things worked out for the author but this is just
       | generally not great advice for most people.
       | 
       | As nice as your manager is, even if they have your best interests
       | in mind, they ultimately answer to someone else. And that means
       | that even if they don't want to, they can f*k you over with
       | minimal notice anyways. There's a power imbalance there.
       | 
       | Certainly don't be a dick about leaving and burn a ton of
       | bridges... but the standard 2 weeks with professional and minimal
       | responses is the way to go.
        
       | diek00 wrote:
       | This title needs an edit, like many of those noted, "How to Quit
       | Like a Boss when you work for Rational People". Many places have
       | toxic irrational people who would fire you in an instant and then
       | have security escort you out of the office like a criminal.
        
       | sys_64738 wrote:
       | When you let your manager know you're unhappy then they can also
       | quickly move to hire a replacement and fire you. You don't own a
       | company anything beyond the last paycheck you received. Two weeks
       | notice is the norm and, hey, it's just business. Don't take it
       | personally if an employee leaves.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | Your first sentence is true. Perhaps it's overly reductive of
         | me, but if that's what your boss would do you're in that red
         | "you should leave anyway" box, in my opinion.
         | 
         | A few other commenters have pointed out good reasons (e.g.
         | visas) where you need to keep your cards closer to your chest,
         | but the vast majority of people reading Hacker News _can_ find
         | a role where it 's not so transactional. Where you're valued as
         | a person and teammate, and where you can have a grown-up
         | conversation about your career plans.
         | 
         | Those open conversations are harder to have if you truly
         | believe your second sentence, however!
        
       | CapitalistCartr wrote:
       | This is excellent advice for those working in a rational
       | environment. For those working in an ego-driven environment, not
       | so much. Plan your exit strategy as you would from an abusive
       | spouse. Don't assume good faith on anyone else's part.
        
         | lmilcin wrote:
         | I worked in many places including ego-driven, political and/or
         | irrational.
         | 
         | Leaving gracefully has never backfired on me. Actually, the
         | opposite happened. Leaving gracefully has left me with some
         | good friends and has led me to opportunities from people I
         | worked with in the past and have became successful in the
         | meantime.
         | 
         | Additionally, at almost every company I happen to work with
         | somebody that I have known before. Answer yourself, do you
         | really want your ungraceful exit to become a problem at your
         | new company now or in the future? What does it cost you to
         | leave gracefully?
        
         | chadcmulligan wrote:
         | Indeed, I was thinking where are these rational managers where
         | you can discuss things openly. It seems the world of management
         | is full of petty narcissistic control freaks.
        
           | jamesbrady wrote:
           | I'm sorry that's been your experience!
           | 
           | These managers definitely do exist - I have had them, I have
           | seen them, and I have _tried_ to be one.
           | 
           | Perhaps I should have included "rational conversation is
           | possible" as a decision point in the flowchart, with a
           | negative answer leading to "you should leave anyway"!
        
         | mds wrote:
         | In a rational environment if you're leaving "for cause", it
         | shouldn't come as a shock to your employer when you quit, in
         | the same way a bad performance review or firing shouldn't come
         | as a shock to the employee. There should be feedback in both
         | directions, if they're not meeting your career goals or you're
         | not meeting their performance goals.
         | 
         | But as a rule I wouldn't tell my boss I'm actively interviewing
         | until I have an offer in hand. Just like, and for a lot of the
         | same reasons, the company as a rule isn't going to inform
         | under-performing employees that they're actively looking to
         | hire someone to replace them before firing them.
        
       | rsstack wrote:
       | People here have been burnt by bad managers and it's honestly
       | sad. If you have a personal relationship with your manager beyond
       | emails and "how was your weekend", there's a good chance they
       | will appreciate your longer notice (not 10 months!) and you'll
       | keep them on your side for the rest of your career. I gave a
       | 2-months notice once, and my manager's manager even helped me
       | find my next role at a different company (which I ended up taking
       | instead of an offer from Facebook).
       | 
       | I can't remember which company it was, but some startup CEO
       | posted on Hacker News a few months ago that they have a proper
       | procedure for "long notices" where they help employees, even if
       | they decide to stay at the end of it. That should be the goal in
       | my opinion.
       | 
       | P.S.: Yes, it can be more tricky in large corporations where the
       | manager isn't independent and their manager is vindictive.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | Exactly, this sounds like such a grown-up way to wind down a
         | working relationship! I'm sure you'll stay in touch with that
         | person and perhaps even refer people in their direction in the
         | future.
        
       | givemeethekeys wrote:
       | "Don't hate the player, hate the game".
       | 
       | The game in California is "at will employment". I don't know
       | about other industries, but most tech firms will lay you off with
       | 0 days of notice if they no longer need your services, for
       | example, to save money.
       | 
       | On the other hand, loyalty to people may or may not be worthwhile
       | - this very much depends on the people and your experience may be
       | drastically different from everyone else'.
        
       | yjftsjthsd-h wrote:
       | Eh... kind of? Like, I don't disagree that there are reasonable
       | points here, but:
       | 
       | > Quitting should never be a surprise for your boss
       | 
       | > What's the worst that can happen?
       | 
       | Not a total surprise, but in many environments even hinting that
       | you're looking to leave will... greatly increase the urgency of
       | your search. They might not terminate you outright (or they may),
       | but it's gonna make the rest of your time there a lot less fun.
       | The worst that can happen is that you admit you're thinking about
       | leaving and get escorted out by security. Obviously it depends
       | exactly what we mean by not being a surprise; problems should
       | generally be communicated... perhaps it would be better to say
       | "Your boss should be able to say why you left"?
       | 
       | > Match your notice period to the handover period
       | 
       | I personally think the handover part is a symptom; at least for
       | the kind of work I do, if there was truly that much to hand over
       | something already failed. Process goes in wiki, tasks go in Jira,
       | code goes in version control... sure, there will always be a few
       | things that only you really understood and some in-flight work
       | that's not fully written down in a ticket, but IMO if it takes
       | you even 2 full weeks to exit gracefully then either you messed
       | up or the company messed up (ex. there was no other person to
       | hand off _to_ and they couldn 't hire that fast).
        
         | lelandfe wrote:
         | > in many environments even hinting that you're looking to
         | leave will... greatly increase the urgency of your search
         | 
         | Just to provide a single anecdote of this, my friend worked as
         | a recruiter at a well known company. If higher ups got proof
         | that you had applied to another job, you would be terminated
         | day of and whisked out of the office by security.
         | 
         | The stories from him and his coworkers of the subterfuge
         | involved in job applications were impressive.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | Hmm, I hear you on the first point... Perhaps I'm blinkered to
         | roles in tech (to which this post was aimed, but not explicitly
         | enough)?
         | 
         | In my experience at such companies, people certainly aren't
         | walked if they express dissatisfaction in their role - but
         | you're right that this doesn't necessarily transfer onto roles
         | which are less competitive. I will think about how to tighten
         | that piece up: thanks for the feedback.
         | 
         | On the second point, I can only congratulate you if you manage
         | to keep everything so organised and compartmentalised! It's
         | something I've aspired to but always fallen short of.
        
           | yjftsjthsd-h wrote:
           | Right, unless the job/manager are totally insane they should
           | never be surprised that you are to some degree dissatisfied.
           | But in many jobs, it is to the employee's benefit to operate
           | in such a way that the manager _is_ surprised that they 're
           | _actually_ leaving.
        
         | ska wrote:
         | > "Your boss should be able to say why you left"?
         | 
         | Not just say why, but this has been an ongoing discussion
         | between you with attempts to resolve it (assuming everything is
         | working as it should).
        
           | jamesbrady wrote:
           | I like this phrasing and will steal it henceforth.
        
       | ragnot wrote:
       | Honestly, it's really simple: two weeks and that's it.
       | 
       | Been there 2 years and haven't gotten a raise/promotion? 2 weeks.
       | 
       | Been there 10 years and are bored/didn't get what you want? 2
       | weeks.
       | 
       | Don't fall over yourself helping the company. Chances are they
       | are going to forget you in 3 months anyway.
        
         | sasawpg wrote:
         | In case of your death, a replacement job posting will be up
         | before your obituary. 10 months is crazy.
        
           | seaman1921 wrote:
           | Well of course an opening will be posted immediately if one
           | dies - whats the point of waiting in that scenario ?
           | 
           | That doesn't justify being a jerk and quitting without making
           | an effort to ensure that the transition is smooth for your
           | colleagues.
        
       | paxys wrote:
       | I don't get this advice. At least in tech it is understood that
       | _everyone_ has their eye open for the next big opportunity. If
       | one comes along, I 'm not going to hesitate to take it. It
       | doesn't have to mean that there's a problem in my current role
       | that I need to address with my manager. Sometimes you simply know
       | that it is time to leave and try something new. If my current
       | company is "surprised" by my decision and unprepared for my
       | absence then that's on them.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | > it is understood that everyone has their eye open for the
         | next big opportunity
         | 
         | This hasn't been my approach, nor has it been for many people
         | I've worked with - or perhaps we're tripping over language?
         | 
         | Let's say that someone is super motivated by a high salary.
         | They would be helping their manager (and, in most situations,
         | themselves) if they were open about that. Up to and including
         | conversations like "I hear that Company X is paying 20% more
         | for a comparable role - here's some data to show I'm
         | underpaid".
         | 
         | It's those kinds of conversations which would mean that your
         | manager _won 't_ be surprised if in 6 months you leave for a
         | better-paying role. Or, perhaps you get a nice pay rise. Or, if
         | you _can 't_ have such conversations, see the red "you should
         | leave anyway" box in the post!
        
           | marbletimes wrote:
           | But if you know that the current company cannot pay like the
           | other company you are interviewing for, or that in this new
           | company the future salary outlook is much better, why bother
           | asking if they can pay you more?
           | 
           | In the work life, one needs to be strategic; it appears to me
           | that most people on here who are commenting somewhat
           | negatively about people giving 2-week notice and nothing else
           | have never been laid off or fired or somewhat "mistreated" by
           | a company.
           | 
           | The way to be an excellent employee is to always deliver work
           | to the best of one's capabilities and give 2-week notice
           | before leaving. In one company I worked for, somebody gave a
           | 2-week notice and was let go immediately. It is not unheard
           | of, and most legacy companies could not care less about a
           | possible PR problem. Those legacy companies live in a galaxy
           | that is far away from the one inhabited by start-ups and
           | similar good PR-dependent companies, they are populated
           | mostly by old dinosaurs that recruit heavily among the not-
           | too-brilliant technical people.
        
           | Den-vr wrote:
           | I especially agree on the approach regarding pay. Contrast
           | that with "I have an offer from Company X that is 20% more,
           | can you match it?" In the former case, you can be seen as
           | expressing a sort of loyalty, in the latter case you live
           | with a little extra workplace hostility even if your current
           | employer agreed to match the offer. In that sense, when it's
           | time to go it's best to go.
        
       | ubermonkey wrote:
       | That's an insanely pollyanna take on quitting. What's the worst
       | that could happen? You could get fired for looking for another
       | job. This happens. Most people I know have worked for someone
       | toxic, or worked for a toxic organization.
       | 
       | If you work for nice people and things just don't align, yeah,
       | sure, this approach may be fine, but it's by no means universal.
        
         | simplestats wrote:
         | I think the assumption is getting fired instantly from a toxic
         | organization is probably a good thing. The problem is that a
         | high likelihood of a better outcome (as opposed to ending up
         | living in your car), still isn't a guarantee.
         | 
         | The most risk-averse strategy should still use some of the
         | advice posted here, but concerns like minimizing other people's
         | problems and your own guilt are not worth the dangers.
        
           | jamesbrady wrote:
           | > the assumption is getting fired instantly from a toxic
           | organization is probably a good thing
           | 
           | That's correct - although I definitely take on board some of
           | the other commenters' feedback about things like visas tied
           | to roles. I'm going to add some clarification to make it
           | clear this really relates to employees in good standing in
           | tech companies (obviously a tiny minority of the populace and
           | one of the few groups who have the guarantee you mention).
        
       | cosmotic wrote:
       | Heeding this advice would be much more generous than employers
       | typically are, especially in an at-will employment environment.
       | In my experience, employers give zero notice and provide zero
       | assistance helping an employee find a replacement.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | I think it depends on the situation. I definitely agree that
         | performance-based firings would tend to be extremely brutal
         | compared to the approach I advocate for here (largely due to
         | the various risks posed by aggrieved employees).
         | 
         | Perhaps I should add that this advice best (only?) applies if
         | you're leaving a company in a sort of "natural parting of ways"
         | kind of situation? Thanks for the feedback.
        
           | cosmotic wrote:
           | No only performance-based firings, but throw-someone-else-
           | under-the-bus firings and bad-management firings. Also cost-
           | cutting layoffs or outsourcing-layoffs.
           | 
           | Regardless of the cause, an employer almost-always will
           | require a separation agreement be signed as a requisite
           | action for any amount of severance pay. This is entirely to
           | the benefit of the employer.
        
       | oblak wrote:
       | I wasn't there but I was told a person communicated his message
       | by taking a literal shit in the CEO (ex military, to give you
       | some perspective) office.
        
       | ram_rar wrote:
       | > Quitting should never be a surprise for your boss
       | 
       | I get the spirit of this. But someone whos in tech on a visa,
       | this is absolutely the worse advice. The fear or retaliation is
       | real, especially in bigger firms where your manager has a lot of
       | say. The moment higher ups have the slightest inkling that you're
       | looking for other jobs, you'll soon get pushed out.
        
         | hodgesrm wrote:
         | I know of a case where the manager actually called the INS
         | after the employee left. Protect yourself and your family
         | first. (I'm a manager myself.)
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | Oh, I hadn't considered role-tied visas... that's a good point.
         | Let me add a couple of "excepts" in there. "Never" is too
         | absolute.
        
       | NikolaNovak wrote:
       | I think the very first sentiment is the most universal one:
       | 
       | Your quitting should not be a surprise to your manager.
       | 
       | Just like year-end review (for those companies that have it)
       | should not be a surprise to the employee - feedback should be
       | continuous. Similarly, if your (rational, to another posters
       | point) manager's reaction is one of complete shock and surprise,
       | it may be a sign you two weren't communicating sufficiently and
       | planned/discussed your
       | goals/expectations/challenges/direction/etc.
        
         | marbletimes wrote:
         | The assumption here is that the employee leaving the company
         | was due to some problems that could not be solved after careful
         | discussion with the manager, skip-level etc. But leaving a
         | company can also happen because another company offers you 50%
         | more money or a different role, or you just feel like changing.
         | 
         | For any employee, including managers, directors and up--there
         | is only one thing to remember: when the company intends to let
         | you go, they don't ask for your opinion. Two-week notice is
         | professional and more than enough.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | Yes! Good point: the manager needs to create the forum for
         | those conversations to happen but the report still needs to
         | take it on themselves to have that sometimes-awkward
         | conversation.
        
       | kevingadd wrote:
       | I always give 2 weeks notice before quitting and make the
       | transition as easy as possible, doing handoff meetings and
       | educating whoever's taking over.
       | 
       | In exchange, I usually get shafted by the employer. In one case
       | they tried to claw back a signing bonus (despite the employment
       | agreement etc not giving them the right to do it - nice) and in
       | another case the abusive studio head walked over and told me to
       | take my shit and leave immediately despite the fact that I was a
       | producer in charge of an entire team and hadn't done any handoff
       | (shocking no one, the latter studio ended up shipping their
       | product 4+ years behind schedule)
       | 
       | So I guess my takeaway is that it's still valuable to be nice if
       | you care about the impact on your teammates, but I don't think
       | your boss deserves it. Especially now when many companies have a
       | policy of not providing references beyond 'yes i can confirm that
       | so-and-so worked here' - the concept of 'burning your bridges' by
       | not being sufficiently deferential to your awful boss doesn't
       | exist.
        
       | billyhoffman wrote:
       | Reasonable (though fairly hackneyed) advice. Until I get to this:
       | 
       | > I let my boss know I was leaving in February, so my commitment
       | to see things through to the end of the year was effectively a
       | 10-month notice period.
       | 
       | This, ironically, was the first sentence in a section entitled
       | "Avoid giving too much notice"
       | 
       | If you can't handoff your work in less than 2 weeks, either you
       | as an employee have failed to properly document and communicate
       | status of what you are doing, or the company culture has failed
       | because it created an environment where someone could not pick up
       | what you were doing and continue it. Why? Replace "quitting" with
       | "suddenly died." Companies that can't recover from stuff like
       | this are poorly run and with bad frontline managers.
       | 
       | Short of being a founder and CEO of a startup who has to leave,
       | and needs to gently hand it over so the company doesn't die,
       | there is no valid reason for 10 months of notice. Hell, that is
       | probably not a good reason.
        
         | jamesbrady wrote:
         | OP here, yeah I mention the 10 months thing as an example of
         | what _not_ to do - the actual handover of tasks I did in maybe
         | 1-2 months, and that was at a leisurely pace TBH. The first ~9
         | months we were in a slightly weird limbo unfortunately - that
         | 's what I was flagging up as an anti-pattern there.
        
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