[HN Gopher] The Inventor of the Screw-In Coffin
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       The Inventor of the Screw-In Coffin
        
       Author : rafaelc
       Score  : 40 points
       Date   : 2022-03-03 21:02 UTC (1 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (kottke.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (kottke.org)
        
       | ch wrote:
       | Considering how difficult it can be to install a fence post in
       | glacial till, this sounds like a less than exciting proposition.
        
       | dade_ wrote:
        
       | gnfargbl wrote:
       | Would it be possible to make a version of this in of some kind of
       | biodegradable material?
       | 
       | I would like to convert my physical form into a tree or similar
       | after death (rather than something inefficient like burning, or
       | horrific like being mummified in a lead box). This seems like it
       | could be an interesting option for that.
        
         | trhway wrote:
         | reminded - very popular Ukrainian message these days, on TV and
         | everywhere, to Russian soldiers is to carry sunflower seeds in
         | their pockets so at least sunflowers will grow when the
         | soldiers die on Ukrainian land.
        
         | conductr wrote:
         | I did this with a pet dog weighing about 80 pounds. I think
         | this device would just get in the way honestly.
         | 
         | Tips: Don't start with seeds. Use a tree farm sized tree (I
         | think mine was 100 gallon container). Or something established.
         | Growing trees from seed is time consuming and the slightest
         | thing can kill it. Now, since you already have the need to dig,
         | toss yourself into a burlap bag and jump in the hole before
         | placing the tree and backfilling.
         | 
         | A few years later, the tree is looking great and occasionally I
         | talk to it when I'm missing that dog.
        
       | conductr wrote:
       | Having used an auger of much smaller size, I can't imagine how
       | difficult this would be to screw in to compacted soil.
        
       | DonHopkins wrote:
       | I was hoping this was about spacious, softly upholstered, two-
       | person coffins for live people with vampire fetishes to screw in.
        
       | alex_young wrote:
       | Don't you still have to excavate though? The dirt has to go
       | somewhere...
       | 
       | Also, if you were a daredevil type, maybe you could go in head-
       | first. That's called skeleton right?
        
         | polishdude20 wrote:
         | Yeah that thing would not be easily screwed in by two people by
         | hand. You'd need a machine
        
       | jay_kyburz wrote:
       | I should patent a coffin bullet that can be used to fire bodies
       | off into space.
        
         | annoyingnoob wrote:
         | Or into the ground.
        
       | supernova87a wrote:
       | I don't know why "hermetically sealed" is anything remotely
       | desirable for someone to be buried in. As if you're protecting
       | yourself from some gross fate of being in the ground. Who cares?
       | 
       | More gross (if that's your concern) is being a sealed capsule
       | full of goo that can't escape anywhere for a millennium. Wouldn't
       | you rather be absorbed back into the earth to be one with the
       | elements?
        
         | jldugger wrote:
         | Mebbe something about whatever diseases you had leaking into
         | the water table?
        
           | deliberateJack wrote:
           | A good portion of you goes down the drain and the sewers
           | probably leak into the water table.
        
         | ComputerGuru wrote:
         | I actually just commented on this very issue in reply to a
         | tangential question about the direction/orientation of burial
         | [0]. In Islam, burial should be in a shroud and not a coffin
         | specifically so that the body may decompose quickly; this is
         | actually rarely an option due to specific laws and regulations
         | in Western countries, but it's changing due to ecological
         | interests.
         | 
         | [0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30547984
        
         | MontagFTB wrote:
         | My guess is that if the top of the casket is close to the
         | surface, decomposition gasses would leak out and attract
         | carrion-eating animals. Not to mention the smell.
        
         | Bayart wrote:
         | If anything, an hermiticaly sealed body is much more
         | interesting to scientists. See the St Bees man. His 14th c.
         | corpse was still fresh as his lead casket remained sealed.
        
       | onemoresoop wrote:
       | It is not a bad idea footprint wise for coffins to be standing
       | up. At first glance the screw-in capsule sounds like a
       | revolutionary idea too, it could save some time and effort with
       | digging as well as burial space. In practice it wouldn't work so
       | well and a pre-hole would need to be done with some machinery.
       | Second, the cost of the capsule, considering it would be made out
       | steel would add up quickly too. Still, coffins standing up to
       | save space would not be a bad idea though I would rather be
       | cremated so as not to contribute to funerary industry. I'm trying
       | to picture the whole burial process with the capsule and find it
       | somewhat comical. Would the family of the deceased have a
       | ceremony before the capsule is screwed in, after, when it's half
       | way in?
        
       | gleenn wrote:
       | Inventor: "No more trouble than putting a fence post in" haha.
       | Something about being buried in the upright position instead of
       | laying down seems... not very restful. I shudder to think how a
       | corpse in the upright position would decompose differently.
        
         | jandrese wrote:
         | You end up a pile of bones either way. The dead don't care. It
         | is the living relatives that will balk.
        
         | cortesoft wrote:
         | I don't think a corpse cares how it rests
        
         | hindsightbias wrote:
         | Guy has obviously not put up a lot of fence posts.
        
         | dylan604 wrote:
         | Phrases like "ashes to ashes", "dust to dust", or "worm food"
         | seem so out of place now with people being buried in coffins
         | that don't allow for the worms to feed or the ashes and/or dust
         | to mingle with the rest of the ashes/dust.
         | 
         | The whole being buried thing just seems so illogical to me. I
         | know it means different things to different people, but I just
         | can't wrap my head around its purpose.
        
           | Jtsummers wrote:
           | > but I just can't wrap my head around its purpose.
           | 
           | Cultural: To have a place to visit the deceased that is
           | strongly associated with them, as their body is literally
           | there (especially for ancestors).
           | 
           | Sanitation: To keep the rotting corpse away from people and
           | avoid spreading disease or attracting predators and vermin.
        
           | tomjakubowski wrote:
           | People don't like to see bodies go through decomposition,
           | especially not loved ones. It's also bad for sanitation to
           | leave bodies lying around.
           | 
           | Burial rites are also a way to create a wedge to separate
           | your culture from those that cremate bodies.
        
             | dylan604 wrote:
             | Cremating bodies doesn't leave "waste" lying around either
             | though. Can't get to ashes to ashes without fire.
        
           | irrational wrote:
           | And yet, we know the people have been burying people for as
           | far back as we can go. Are we too removed from it now that it
           | seems strange to us? Maybe death has become too sterile and
           | removed from our everyday existence. And modern medicine has
           | made it so we don't die as quickly as we used to.
        
       | dylan604 wrote:
       | Aren't there certain customs from various religions that dictate
       | how followers are to be buried. I know some are supposed to lay
       | facing east, but maybe I'm forcing the "lay" part in there. Would
       | this work as long as the last twist had the person facing east?
       | 
       | So many questions. Like, why do we bury anyways, blah blah, but
       | don't want to dig that hole.
        
         | ComputerGuru wrote:
         | In Islam, the dead should be buried on their right side facing
         | towards Makkah, but that's somewhat of a moot point since it
         | should be in a shroud (not a coffin) allowing their bodies to
         | return to the earth (not for spiritual reasons celebrating
         | unity with Mother Earth or for reincarnation like some
         | religions or cultures, more that the body is just a vessel that
         | has served its purpose and should be allowed to decompose back
         | to its source materials).
         | 
         | This coffin-less burial was largely forbidden by western laws
         | and customs so Muslims have typically opted for the "plain pine
         | box" option but there has been a new, secular resurgence of
         | interest in this for ecological reasons and some zoning
         | laws/cemeteries are beginning to allow this in the USA and
         | elsewhere.
        
         | arghwhat wrote:
         | In a thousand years a religion will dictate that one has to be
         | screwed into the ground to a certain torque specification...
        
         | 2muchcoffeeman wrote:
         | Could you screw it in at an angle? Must the body be horizontal
         | or is 45 degrees fine?
        
           | alliao wrote:
           | find a cliff face and i'm sure this would work side ways...
           | might even double as walkway anchor points...
        
           | dylan604 wrote:
           | These are the pointless religious debates that just seem
           | comical to me. Similar to the recent thread on if it was okay
           | for Catholics to partake in chocolate. The fact there was
           | continual debate throughout history is just so funny to me.
        
             | Tabular-Iceberg wrote:
             | > Similar to the recent thread on if it was okay for
             | Catholics to partake in chocolate.
             | 
             | Intriguing. Do you have a link?
        
           | ntrz wrote:
           | The patent does say it can be installed at various angles,
           | illustrated in figs. 25 and 26 (also of interest is fig. 27,
           | which shows it buried in the bed of a shallow lake with a
           | duck decoy affixed to the lid).
        
       | a9h74j wrote:
       | Take a look at Figs 38-43. There are sure to be theological
       | debates about whether one can -- or should? -- be buried with a
       | proprietary "tamper proof" screwhead.
        
       | rolph wrote:
       | we can take that a step further, and produce a screw-in survival
       | bunker; it would be a lot like boreing a caisson into position
       | then making a suitable doorway and overburden.
        
         | ceejayoz wrote:
         | The slogans could be fun.
         | 
         | "Got a screw loose? Get a screw in!"
        
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       (page generated 2022-03-03 23:00 UTC)