[HN Gopher] Show HN: Brevity 500 - Short games to help you becom...
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       Show HN: Brevity 500 - Short games to help you become a powerful
       writer
        
       Hi folks, I've been experimenting with ways to teach people how to
       write better for a few years. During this time, I've worked in
       finance, sales, and software -- and everywhere I went, most people
       didn't write effectively, even when their job depended on it!
       Learning how to become a better writer is generally not
       fun...books, lectures, and videos are passive and boring and
       tedious. Getting feedback from real people is generally most
       effective, but difficult and time-consuming.  Brevity 500 is my
       attempt at creating a learning experience that is active, engaging,
       and NOT tedious. It offers static human-generated advice along with
       real human feedback for paid users.  So far, in early testing, the
       games seem to appeal most to marketers and salespeople, but as a
       technical writer and developer myself, I think these games can help
       anyone build a strong foundation to become better at any kind of
       non-fiction writing.  Try it out and let me know what you think!
        
       Author : moksha256
       Score  : 105 points
       Date   : 2022-06-29 15:48 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (brevity500.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (brevity500.com)
        
       | xwdv wrote:
       | Maybe there could be something similar but for coding.
        
         | forgotpwd16 wrote:
         | Kinda like LeetCode but instead you're given some code and
         | asked to refactor it, then the system checks whether the code
         | continues perform the same function?
        
       | wellthisisgreat wrote:
       | Hey looks really interesting. What do you think is the
       | applicability of this to fiction writing?
       | 
       | Also what's HN's opinion of tools like ProwritingAid, Grammarly?
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | > What do you think is the applicability of this to fiction
         | writing?
         | 
         | Possibly. Knowing how to be terse and how to be meandering is a
         | valuable skill in itself. In the business world, a long winding
         | approach can be helpful to take the spotlight _off_ of
         | something. In the fiction world, maybe you could use long-
         | winded dialogue to establish a particular personality for a
         | character.
        
         | spoonjim wrote:
         | I think the fact that this doesn't evaluate your prose is a
         | major plus. Grammarly is OK if you don't speak English very
         | well and need someone to tell you what to do. But these are
         | exercises for fluent writers to get better, and they are not
         | going to want their writing evaluated by a bot.
        
       | UmYeahNo wrote:
       | Calling these exercises "Games" is a stretch.
       | 
       | Also: Extra points if your good at memorizing a list of arbitrary
       | words that must be included, and you're a good touch typist. In
       | these "games" Hunt-and-peck is a penalty, regardless if how
       | facile you are at editing.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | The required terms are viewable in a pop-in that shows if you
         | click the "i" icon in the bottom-left corner during gameplay.
        
       | er4hn wrote:
       | When trying it out to see if there is any automated sentiment
       | analysis, I noticed that my line of "a" just stretches endlessly
       | out and breaks the text box. Anyways, does HN want to offer
       | feedback on the first game involving explaining an issue to Mr.
       | Smith about his ACME engine part? I was so concise that I
       | couldn't submit without adding some screaming noises to get my
       | word count up.
       | 
       | (also, this was valid, so no - there is no sentiment analysis or
       | anything similar to see if you still got the message across)
       | 
       | === Smith you dummy, your engine is BROKE. Ford will not bow to
       | pressure. Your warranty is as good as an anvil from ACME in a
       | loony toon cartoon. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
       | ===
        
         | O__________O wrote:
         | Sentiment analysis has to do detection and classification of
         | opinions, emotions, etc.
         | 
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentiment_analysis
         | 
         | Believe concept you're looking for is semantic similarity:
         | 
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semantic_similarity
        
       | thimkerbell wrote:
       | Mobile phone offers noplace to edit the original text. What am I
       | doing wrong?
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | I tried to make it responsive because I knew a lot of people
         | would visit the site on their phone. In my testing, gameplay
         | works on mobile... _without_ an on-screen keyboard. When that
         | keyboard pops up on the screen, there isn 't much room for
         | anything else.
         | 
         | If you think it's something other than your on-screen keyboard
         | that's messing it up, feel free to link a screenshot and tell
         | me your device, browser, etc so I can look into it.
        
           | thimkerbell wrote:
           | I see no on-screen keyboard. I cannot get one to appear. How
           | should I be typing, without one?
        
             | moksha256 wrote:
             | I'm not sure why a mobile phone wouldn't show an on-screen
             | keyboard with a textarea in focus. Doesn't sound like an
             | issue with Brevity 500.
             | 
             | The site is visually designed to be responsive but it's
             | really designed to be used with a non-mobile screen and a
             | real keyboard.
        
               | thimkerbell wrote:
               | Android 11, in Chrome. And in Firefox. Options offered
               | (in place of any keyboard) are Copy, Search, Select All,
               | and Share.
               | 
               | Well, it's a lovely thought. Maybe someone can make one
               | that works on mobile phones.
        
               | entwife wrote:
               | I'm using the same setup. There were several pages to
               | click through before the timed text editing challenge.
               | Two pages showed the text to edit in a static form before
               | the timed challenge.
        
               | thimkerbell wrote:
               | And the prize goes to entwife, I mistook the preliminary
               | text display for the one we were supposed to edit.
               | 
               | Thank you.
        
       | entwife wrote:
       | This is a nice start, and succinct writing is a valuable skill.
       | For a serious student of writing, the automated feedback is
       | insufficient. Human feedback would be most useful. Designing
       | automated feedback would be tricky, because the rewritten text
       | must both be grammatically correct and have the same message.
       | 
       | FYI, There is a sentence simplification exercise inside of the
       | larger app "Elevate Brain Training" on the Google Play app store
       | for Android.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | > Human feedback would be most useful.
         | 
         | Yes, the games without a paid membership are fun but not really
         | a learning tool. Paying users can get real human feedback
         | whenever they like.
        
       | elefantastisch wrote:
       | Conceptually, I really like this. Congratulations on getting it
       | out there, and thank you for sharing.
       | 
       | The implementation confuses me though.
       | 
       | It's not clear at first that all "games" (though I would think
       | it's rounds of a single game, not distinct games) are available
       | rather than this being some kind of daily challenge.
       | 
       | The instructions are very drawn out and repetitive. There's no
       | reason the Welcome, Background, and Rules couldn't be on one
       | screen. The Mission page should just be merged with Rules.
       | 
       | The time limit seems pointless given that you get to see the text
       | before the game starts. You could just write your text in Notepad
       | using as much time as you want. I would either get rid of the
       | timer (greatly preferred) or stop showing the text in advance (if
       | you must).
       | 
       | It's not clear what other rules (AI?) are being used to judge
       | whether a response is valid, so when you get marked invalid even
       | though you're using all the required terms, it's not clear what
       | you're supposed to do to make it valid.
       | 
       | It would be nice to be able to review the Background section of
       | the instructions while writing.
       | 
       | After completion, you see your response compared to a target, but
       | you can't see the original anymore to compare target vs original
       | to see how the target improved on the original.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | Thanks for the thoughtful feedback.
         | 
         | Yeah, the time limit doesn't serve much of a purpose beyond
         | creating some playful pressure.
         | 
         | > It's not clear what other rules (AI?) are being used to judge
         | whether a response is valid, so when you get marked invalid
         | even though you're using all the required terms, it's not clear
         | what you're supposed to do to make it valid.
         | 
         | > It would be nice to be able to review the Background section
         | of the instructions while writing.
         | 
         | > After completion, you see your response compared to a target,
         | but you can't see the original anymore to compare target vs
         | original to see how the target improved on the original.
         | 
         | These are all good points that I will work on.
        
           | JamesBarney wrote:
           | Very cool app, but just wanted to agree with OP that I wasn't
           | a huge fan of the timer. Writing is an anxiety provoking
           | activity for most people, and adding a timer can make it more
           | so ( or at least it did for me).
        
       | Peritract wrote:
       | I don't agree with equating brevity and quality.
       | 
       | There's a definite trend in marketing/business communication to
       | cut everything down to the bare bones and call that quality. At
       | best though, this is an over-simplification. Not every piece of
       | writing has the same purpose, and the current fashion for brevity
       | _aims_ at clarity but often hits stilted instead.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | Yes, I've addressed this point here:
         | 
         | https://brevity500.com/thoughts/why-only-brevity/
         | 
         | In short, brevity is a surprisingly excellent heuristic for
         | writing quality. It can provide a quick and objective metric,
         | which is handy for an online game meant to provide an engaging
         | learning experience. Note that brevity on Brevity 500 is
         | relative to a human-derived metric, which makes the conciseness
         | you're aiming for more meaningful.
         | 
         | But yes -- shorter is not always better, certainly, which is
         | why paid users are encouraged to reach out for human feedback.
        
           | Peritract wrote:
           | That is an excellent response, thank you.
        
             | tomgp wrote:
             | surprisingly excellent
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | throwjabah wrote:
        
           | moksha256 wrote:
           | From what I've seen, many corporate fuckwits could use a dose
           | of brevity. They tend to cloak their message in verbose
           | jargon instead of just making their point boldly and clearly.
        
       | csallen wrote:
       | Cool! I love educational games and think they should be created
       | more often.
       | 
       | Small bit of feedback that might be helpful: set a max width for
       | your website. Currently it stretches to 100% width, but nobody
       | really wants to write or read anything much wider than 800px, no
       | matter how wide their browser window is.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | Thank you sir! I try to limit text to a maximum width where
         | needed, but can look into making the whole site a little less
         | wide too.
        
           | csallen wrote:
           | This is how it appears on my screen:
           | https://i.imgur.com/oWBfOxU.png (no max width)
        
             | moksha256 wrote:
             | Oh geez, that is terrible. None of my screens are that huge
             | so I never got close to testing anything like that. I'll
             | work on it!
        
             | moksha256 wrote:
             | Just pushed an update that limits width to 1000px,
             | appreciate the suggestion. Took longer than it should have
             | because my CSS is shitty :P
        
       | infogulch wrote:
       | Fun project, thanks for sharing!
        
       | hammerbrostime wrote:
       | Fun! Unfortunately, this leans into the fact that I tend to be
       | brief-to-a--fault.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | > brief-to-a--fault
         | 
         | Not sure if intentional, but either way, well done!
        
       | Krasnol wrote:
       | If anyone needs ideas to write fiction, they should try RimWorld.
       | 
       | Stories write themselves.
       | 
       | https://rimworldgame.com/
        
       | jedberg wrote:
       | I hit go and the first thing I saw was: "This game will challenge
       | you to write well and write fast."
       | 
       | People write quickly. :). Normally I wouldn't nitpick that, but
       | since your whole site is about making better writers, I
       | immediately have a trust issue if you can't use adverbs
       | correctly.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | Sometimes I break grammar rules for effect...in that case, I
         | like the rhythm of the single-syllable words "write well and
         | write fast" better than "write well and write quickly".
         | 
         | But you're totally correct. Maybe that's not the best place to
         | flex rule-breaking :D
        
           | jedberg wrote:
           | Nothing wrong with a little rule breaking! But you have to
           | establish trust first, so yeah, maybe not best to do it first
           | thing. :)
        
       | fourthark wrote:
       | A nit: introduction seems to say that the required words or
       | phrases will still be available during the game, but I didn't see
       | any highlighting and had to remember. (Firefox)
       | 
       | Generally, judging validity just by whether a few phrases were
       | kept seems pretty loose. I know, it would take incredible AI and
       | might be completely subjective to decide whether the meaning is
       | still there. But I didn't like that it seemed I could completely
       | mangle the text and it would say great job as long as it was
       | short and still had those phrases.
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | > but I didn't see any highlighting and had to remember
         | 
         | Did you click the info icon in the bottom-left? That should
         | show the required terms.
         | 
         | > But I didn't like that it seemed I could completely mangle
         | the text and it would say great job as long as it was short and
         | still had those phrases.
         | 
         | Yeah my algorithm for determining spam and/or bad attempts
         | isn't very advanced. I intend the site to help teach brevity to
         | people who already know English well, so while it might be nice
         | for the game to detect mangled text, it's not really a
         | priority. I suppose people who want the functionality could use
         | one of the automated writing assistant browser extensions for
         | now.
         | 
         | One could "cheat" by submitting mangled text for amazing
         | scores, but that would defeat the purpose of the game and be a
         | waste of time :)
        
       | reifyx wrote:
       | I think both the idea and execution are great. These games would
       | be useful even just as problem statements. I like that each
       | problem clearly defines the desired tone and goals, and that the
       | sample solutions have explanations.
       | 
       | Both in technical and creative writing, I agree that the main
       | issue I've seen is unnecessary filler words, needlessly
       | complicated sentences, and a difficulty clearly expressing the
       | point and staying on-topic.
       | 
       | Some ideas - A copy of the original text with highlighted words
       | above the editor might be nice - Not sure if the timer is
       | helpful, might cause people to do a poor job for fear of running
       | out of time. Could start without a timer and add it in as users
       | get more practice
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | Thanks for the feedback!
         | 
         | If you click the "i" button in the bottom-left during a game,
         | you'll see the original text with required terms highlighted.
         | Lots of people seem to miss that so I need to figure out a way
         | to make it more clear.
         | 
         | In early testing, people seemed to enjoy the challenge the
         | timer provides. But yeah to be honest, I personally don't like
         | it...I'm a slow writer and hate to be rushed. Paid users can
         | disable the timer.
        
       | throwjabah wrote:
       | Personally I think this is a useless tool. Writing ability isn't
       | so easily trained like muscle memory and this website does not
       | handle tone, style, or describe how to use grammar as a tool as
       | opposed to it acting as a governance over your writing.
       | 
       | The people you're talking about do not actually need to write
       | well. The assumption is that the reader is capable of handling
       | better writing and thus if the writing is better, the reading
       | will be also. That's not the case, not merely because improving
       | writing often doesn't improve the experience of reading, but also
       | because most people don't have extensive reading capabilities.
       | 
       | We test students entering college on their reading comprehension,
       | and in general we only require them to understand approximately
       | 60-70% of what they read. This means that 30-40% of what most
       | people write is pointless crap that can go in the trash. Some
       | idiots who aren't considered confident in their intellectual
       | abilities might scoff at this assessment, but unless I am reading
       | and writing for an audience that also is capable of understanding
       | the expression, then it is pointless to attempt expressing more.
       | 
       | That's why I believe you noticed that most people don't do well
       | in reading/writing... it's simply not a skill most have and it
       | also is not overly meaningful that is the case. Why paint for the
       | blind?
        
         | moksha256 wrote:
         | > Writing ability isn't so easily trained like muscle memory
         | 
         | Writing is improved through practice. That's why there will be
         | 500 games.
         | 
         | > this website does not handle tone, style, or describe how to
         | use grammar as a tool as opposed to it acting as a governance
         | over your writing
         | 
         | Guidance on tone and style is provided, and paid users get
         | lessons that go over techniques to achieve desired tone and
         | style.
         | 
         | > The people you're talking about do not actually need to write
         | well.
         | 
         | Not sure what you're talking about...my experiences are first-
         | hand accounts.
         | 
         | > in general we only require them to understand approximately
         | 60-70% of what they read
         | 
         | Right, so if the underlying material had less crap in it,
         | people would get more out of the time they spent reading it.
         | 
         | > That's why I believe you noticed that most people don't do
         | well in reading/writing... it's simply not a skill most have
         | and it also is not overly meaningful that is the case. Why
         | paint for the blind?
         | 
         | Most people cannot speak well in front of an audience either.
         | Does that mean public speaking is not worth learning? Learn how
         | to write well if you want, or don't...it's up to you to
         | determine if it's worthwhile or not.
         | 
         | There are others who don't share your opinion who may gain a
         | lot from this site.
        
           | kareemm wrote:
           | Don't worry about the haters. The throwaway's response is
           | verging on trolling and isn't worthy of your concern.
           | 
           | I was impressed by your project and will consider paying down
           | the road. I think an app like yours plus human feedback is a
           | killer combo to help people learn to write better. This kind
           | of writing isn't even really about writing - it's about self-
           | editing.
           | 
           | Good stuff!
        
             | moksha256 wrote:
             | Thanks! Yeah exactly -- I actually believe that one of the
             | most fundamental issues with traditional writing
             | instruction is that it focuses on writing _tips_ , which
             | are mostly useless because everyone's first draft of
             | anything is always bad.
             | 
             | Writing instruction should instead focus on writing
             | _faults_ so that people know how to actually improve
             | whatever they initially wrote down.
             | 
             | I discuss that notion more here:
             | 
             | https://brevity500.com/about/
             | 
             | Part of the reason I went public this early was that I
             | wanted to work directly with people to provide them
             | feedback on their own writing samples. That will help me
             | better understand this site's users, but there's a selfish
             | motive also: it will help me gather writing samples to use
             | for the next ~490 games that need to be built.
             | 
             | All that to say -- I don't mention it on the site, but for
             | the near-term, everyone who signs up will get pretty
             | personalized attention and feedback.
        
           | throwndajakajd wrote:
           | This is how you write and you want users to PAY for this? Are
           | you taking a page from Blizzard and making an out of season
           | April fools joke?
           | 
           | Edit: " Writing is improved through practice. That's why
           | there will be 500 games." See you're wrong about this.
           | Writing is improved much the same way that personality is.
           | And being a funny dick can win more points than being kind
           | and boring.
        
             | Shared404 wrote:
             | Wow.
             | 
             | Congrats, you landed an even bigger egg on your face.
             | 
             | OP, congrats on your progress. This looks interesting, and
             | has the potential to help a lot of people.
             | 
             | Mr. Throwaway, do you have nothing better to do with your
             | life?
        
             | Miraste wrote:
             | If the aim of professional writing is to communicate your
             | ideas and convince your audience of their value, and we
             | accept HN votes as a proxy...
             | 
             | you may want to sign up for GP's course.
        
         | GiorgioG wrote:
         | You created a throwaway account to shit on someone else's
         | efforts. You knew it was wrong, otherwise you wouldn't have
         | created a new account. Just move along if you have nothing of
         | value add to the discussion.
        
         | chrisdbanks wrote:
         | When I was writing full-time, we had strict word limits. It
         | meant we spent a lot of time removing unnecessary words. My
         | writing skill improved immensely because of this "training".
         | Writing is a skill like any other. It can be trained. The
         | problem most people have is that they don't know how to train
         | it.
         | 
         | I think this tool is an excellent start. As you point out there
         | are other skills in writing, but maybe this tool is just the
         | start of a suite (or gym) of tools to help people become better
         | writers. I applaud the creator's efforts to help people.
         | 
         | As I recall, most of the texts in reading comprehension tests
         | are so badly written that it's amazing anyone can understand
         | even 70% of them. Are you saying that because people can't
         | understand difficult texts, people shouldn't bother trying to
         | write clearly and concisely?
        
       | [deleted]
        
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       (page generated 2022-06-29 23:00 UTC)