[HN Gopher] Understanding how others relate to you
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       Understanding how others relate to you
        
       Author : OrderOfChaos
       Score  : 22 points
       Date   : 2022-07-03 20:28 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.bmj.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.bmj.com)
        
       | StevePerkins wrote:
       | This model is pretty ham-fisted.
       | 
       | The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that
       | endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it's
       | extremely common for your unconditional love BFF's to drift away
       | as the relationship atrophies. It's called your 30's and 40's.
       | 
       | MUST the third group of "Shapeshifters" ALL be Machiavellian?
       | Careerists, seeking only to use you for your position and
       | influence? Does this category even exist then, for the
       | overwhelming majority of us who don't have much position or
       | influence? This sounds like category for managers and LinkedIn
       | junkies, not individual contributors and normal humans.
       | 
       | Where is the "Casual Acquaintance" category? The one that
       | honestly describes 90% or more of our interpersonal
       | relationships? The scale REALLY goes from blind devotion, to deep
       | respect for you and your values, to backstabbing work colleagues,
       | to outright "Haters"?
       | 
       | Nonsense.
        
       | belkarx wrote:
       | Interesting metaphor - I'd argue that Rationals, even with mutual
       | respect, are more likely to become Shapeshifters than Blinds.
       | 
       | Also
       | 
       | > The pressures of life can mean that we rarely make time for
       | [Blinds], but it can leave you uplifted.
       | 
       | The reason people become close to you and unconditionally love
       | you are usually _because_ you spent a lot of time with them. Even
       | if the time spent attenuates a bit, it 's not "rare" to continue
       | seeing them, and if it were, the relationship would atrophy
       | eventually and they would drop out of "Blind" status.
        
       | vorpalhex wrote:
       | Anytime you have distinct categories, remember that the model is
       | an over-simplification.
        
         | belkarx wrote:
         | Almost all models are oversimplifications. That's the reason
         | it's a model
        
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       (page generated 2022-07-03 23:00 UTC)