[HN Gopher] Salesforce, but for Dating ___________________________________________________________________ Salesforce, but for Dating Author : tontonius Score : 159 points Date : 2023-01-18 19:41 UTC (3 hours ago) (HTM) web link (dateforce.app) (TXT) w3m dump (dateforce.app) | mmaunder wrote: | Lol! Imagine a date with someone who's hobby is dating. | scrumper wrote: | I laughed when I read this but then I thought more and... | wouldn't that be fun? Like, if it's their hobby and they're | good at it, why would the date be bad? | | Gardeners like their plants to grow big and healthy. | Fishkeepers obsess over the health of their tanks. Musicians | want to play more challenging music with better bandmates for | bigger audiences on higher profile stages. | | So if you were on the receiving end of a date orchestrated by a | dating hobbyist, it'd be fun, probably unusual, definitely well | organized. There are worse things to experience while dating. | And, just maybe, you make a connection and form a relationship. | But even the base case isn't _bad_ per se. | tennisflyi wrote: | Lol No. It'd be min/maxed to fuck and then dump. How naive | are you. | | > dating hobbyist | | Also, your use of hobbyist is so close to being on par | (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hobbyist). | baron816 wrote: | > I met her on Polk Street. We've been on a few dates so far. She | seems nice! | | That's probably the extent of what 90% of guys would say about | any woman they're dating. | [deleted] | nick0garvey wrote: | Dating has a large emotional aspect. Using heavyweight management | software for this kind of thing is ridiculous. If you need CRM to | remind yourself of the emotional impact you had on a date, then | some part of this process has gone horribly wrong. | that_guy_iain wrote: | Like you should know by the end of the date if you want another | one or not. | t-writescode wrote: | Honestly, this sounds like the gulf between men's experience | dating and women's, and neurotypical vs neurodivergent. Some ND | people like helpers like this; and, women get so many suitors | that a system to help them may be actually beneficial. | | Also, journaling is a powerful tool. | crtified wrote: | I'm not sure if a database exists that's robust enough to handle | the massive, massive quantity of dates that my life entails. | /extreme sarcasm (or is that a DIVIDE_BY_ZERO error?, haha) | | If you need something like this, then it's probably safe to say | that dating is not your weak point. | | But, just as every multi-millionaire probably has an accountant, | because they have more wealth than they can easily manage, so too | must the dating conquistadors suffer, I guess. | PanosJee wrote: | [flagged] | EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote: | Programmers still trying to figure out dating? Give up already) | ugh123 wrote: | Might be a good opportunity here to integrate events, restaurant | bookings, and other paid "experiences" for some upside. | | Does this integrate directly with the dating services/apps | themselves? Seems like a lot of work to plumb in and keep up-to- | date the status and latest information on each profile. | | Also, if this is a legit service you should be extremely careful | how you store all this data. Exposing a bunch of dating profile | data via a security breach will land you into hotter water than | anything Marc Benioff could throw at you :) | pcthrowaway wrote: | Would also be a good to manage a date funnel. | | Then for dates in the funnel who told you things like "too | busy", "not ready for dating" etc. you could schedule automated | messages for things like reminding them to circle back when | they're ready, checking if they're available to get on a call | to show them new features you've added (as a person), etc. | MikeTheGreat wrote: | I assume this is humor, since a lot of people will use these | responses to say "No" without having to come out an say it | (the "Nonconfrontational No", if you will - "I don't want to | date you" invites a direct conflict, but "too busy" can't | really be argued with). | | So, building on your humor, I'd like to suggest a | feature/service we can sell to the vict _cough_ other person. | When they respond with "too busy" they can also set a flag in | the system indicating whether they'd actually like to _not_ | hear from the person operating the funnel. We get paid, the | vict^H^H^H^Hdate doesn't get hassled in the future, and the | person running the dating funnel is none the wiser because | our software never notifies them again. | | I think I'm ready for an MBA now :) | [deleted] | thih9 wrote: | Some email templates could help too. | | > Hi (Name), are you getting the best experiences on your | dates? We've been chatting for a while, and I wanted to share | some news with you before I update everyone else. I've found | some new exciting dating spots and you're going to love them! | (Insert sales pitch) I'd love the chance to chat about my new | dating spots. Shall we arrange a meeting to talk you through | possible restaurants, bowling alleys or what movies we can | watch together? Let's book a call today and get things | started. | | Source: https://www.flowrite.com/blog/sales-pitch-email , | slightly modified. | stronglikedan wrote: | When I was dating, I kept track of all this manually, in a | notes app. I wouldn't mind inputting the same data here, | manually, since this has the added benefit of organizing it for | me in a way I couldn't do with mere notes. | seandoe wrote: | Met her on Polk street did ya. | kube-system wrote: | > Too many requests, please try again after an hour | | Wow, you even have it running on NA14? | conductr wrote: | I clicked the Signup button thinking surely it's a joke and they | would have some witty page | | > Too many requests, please try again after an hour | | I'm really out of touch | usbfingers wrote: | How do you know that's not a part of the joke? | conductr wrote: | Good point, I don't. But sure was a missed opportunity if | true :) | insane_dreamer wrote: | Interesting start, but missing the "powered by AI" element that | analyses each date and computes compatibility and chances of | things moving to the next level, suggests next step, auto- | generates your text/voice script, etc. | | (Also, tried to sign up by calling support but got an endlessly | looping `We are experiencing higher than usual call volumes, one | of our dating expert associates will be with you "shortly" (but | remember that your call _is_ important to us)` | tus666 wrote: | Sorry I cringed. Hoping this is a joke. | UniverseHacker wrote: | I'm about 60% sure this is just satire. | nickthegreek wrote: | Agreed. Do people actually have a good feeling when they hear | "Salesforce". I wouldn't want my app associated with it at all. | lcnPylGDnU4H9OF wrote: | What tipped me off is how similar the logos are. What confirmed | it is the text at the bottom of the home page: | | > P.S. Marc Benioff, please don't sue us. Remember that | imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. | tgv wrote: | Don't you have a pipeline with girls you're going to cold-call, | and a dating life manager that breathes down your neck when you | haven't taken at least 10 girls out this month? | actually_a_dog wrote: | I don't date girls. I only date women. | kbelder wrote: | Well, if you're actually a male dog, you would mean you | only date... | whateveracct wrote: | hah I love this comment - when I hear mid-30s men calling | women "girls" I always cringe. Even worse when they | actually call mid-20s women "girls" since they've never | dated a women in her 30s.. | grantc wrote: | Can there be endless meetings about whether your issues are | top or bottom of funnel? | red-iron-pine wrote: | [flagged] | mike_d wrote: | Don't forget paid lead generation (SeekingArrangement) | klyrs wrote: | > a dating life manager that breathes down your neck when you | haven't taken at least 10 girls out this month? | | I never realized that my dream job would be so people- | oriented. Drop me a line if you're hiring... | dannyphantom wrote: | Neat, this isn't the first time I've seen something like this | come up so it essentially validates the use-case for them. | | I remember seeing a post on Reddit[1] about ~4 years ago made by | the same person who made this[2] post on HN about a year ago. | | [1] Does anyone else use salesforce as PRM (Personal Relationship | Management) System? https://archive.ph/3mB1U | | [2] Show HN: Nat.app, personal CRM that knows who you're losing | touch with https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30836418 | calt wrote: | The little black book's next iteration. It really is inevitable. | robofanatic wrote: | Cool! wonder if it is created by 1 of the 8,000 ex-salesforce. | godelmachine wrote: | What would be the tagline? | | "Forcible dating"? | | You 2, date right now! | mosselman wrote: | Is it the 1st of April already? | | Is there AI-powered communication as well? The profiles can let | AI communicate and receive a message when GPT-3 has determined | that an actual date should occur. | personjerry wrote: | Isn't this just a spreadsheet? You could probably build and | deploy the entire thing in a day in Notion | layer8 wrote: | That wouldn't scale though. ;) | aqme28 wrote: | I've been very actively dating and single for ages now. This is | unequivocally a good idea if executed well. | | Is there a "notes" section so I can jot down details from dates | to remember? That part is currently occupying my phone's notes | app. | tennisflyi wrote: | Plethora of dates but can't add an "other" section in the | contact in the contacts app. Of course. | dietsprite wrote: | In before the cease and desist from Salesforce | prettyStandard wrote: | I was thinking about something similar, but less cringy. More | like: hey you haven't messaged your friend in 6 months, maybe you | should ask them how they are doing. A priority queue but to help | keep friendships alive. | throwaway29812 wrote: | This combined with the only useful feature FB had for years | (people's birthday). | | Integrate a scraping and keyword search for public facing | social media postings to alert to people in distress, perhaps. | Or just a general "you should check on X" feature. Not with | automated messaging, that's too much. | gwern wrote: | I've thought about similar problems like rewatching your | favorite movie, and concluded that treating it as a priority | queue or trying to watch it every _n_ days is the wrong | approach; you want to instead be reminded when you've | _forgotten_ about your friend Alex or what _The Leopard_ is | about, so you can then ping them & catch up or rewatch that | movie with a near-fresh mind. (If you ping Alex while you | remember them, then maybe there's another actually-forgotten | friend you could've pinged instead who would be more valuable | to get back in touch with.) | | It is, in other words, the exact opposite of 'spaced | repetition', where you want to review right before forgetting | to strengthen the memory the most; in this use-case, 'anti- | spaced repetition', you want to review only after you've | forgotten it. (https://www.gwern.net/Statistical-notes#program- | for-non-spac...) | chuckwalter wrote: | This is where I'd like to go with FriendApp. Would love if you | wanted to check out where we are right now with our iPhone app. | https://www.friendapp.com/ | nextaccountic wrote: | > hey you haven't messaged your friend in 6 months, maybe you | should ask them how they are doing. A priority queue but to | help keep friendships alive. | | This is what social media and messaging apps should innovate | on. | | But, without VC money, without ads, without feeds drive by | algorithms that optimize for engagement. Without dark patterns | and antifeatures that make our lives worse. Just a non-profit | that churns out open source code and is supported by monthly | recurring donations from a % of the userbase. | ThouYS wrote: | sounds like henlo to me: https://henlo.app/ | adrianmonk wrote: | I want one for remembering stuff about people for personal and | business networking. | | For a while, I was going to a weekly event where I'd meet | people, but I'd never remember their name next time because I'm | terrible with names. | | So I started jotting down notes after it was over. Like, today | I met person X who is really into this one hobby and just moved | here from such and such city. And person Y who is looking for a | new apartment. And Z who came with Y. | | Then before going next time, I'd review the list, and if I saw | X, I knew their name and could ask how they're adjusting after | their move. Or I could ask Y how the apartment search is going. | | At first I thought if people saw this list they might think it | was a little weird. And maybe, but I'm OK with it since it's a | way of making an effort. As long as it's genuine and your | motivations are good, people like that you remembered stuff | about them. (I'm not doing it to impress people, etc.) | | Anyway, I didn't have a good way to organize it. I stuck it all | in a document, which didn't work great. | chuckwalter wrote: | I've been building FriendApp the past year. The core feature | on iPhone right now is to just group people into lists, and | preserve messaging integration with whatsapp, text etc. | Trying to make it super simple. Also has ability to sync for | recent contacts list. Would love feedback, and thoughts on | the next features to iterate on. | | https://www.friendapp.com/ | npunt wrote: | Lots of attempts over the years at this personal crm problem | space but no success to date. I did one on Facebook platform in | 2008-09 called Socialfly, our tagline was 'be twice the friend | in half the time'. | | Problem is there's a lot of input and upkeep which limits | appeal, the most important social data sources (text & phone) | are not accessible via api, its a personal tool that you don't | necessarily want to tell others you use which limits | distribution & scale, and even after all that in general it's | hard to scale personal authenticity. | | I think the problem needs to be approached from a different | angle along the lines of a personal assistant rather that an | explicit data management tool. And it likely has to come from | those with access to privileged social data sources like Apple | or Google or Facebook. | michaelmior wrote: | I remember using Socialfly! I wasn't a heavy user, but I | actually quite liked it and was a bit disappointed when it | went away. | jxramos wrote: | Would accompany count? https://www.accompany.com/ not really | personal, I believe it's business oriented. | umeshunni wrote: | A personal CRM | rsstack wrote: | Not 100% what you describe, but functionally the same: | https://github.com/monicahq/monica | scrollaway wrote: | Monica is an excellent "Personal CRM" as people are | describing. It strives to achieve exactly the goals GP | describes. | | Personally, I would just like to see a contacts app that | doesn't suck, and actually supports having both "companies" | AND "people" as contact without treating them exactly the | same. If I want to call some hotel or something, why does it | have to be "First name: Holiday Inn" in order to even show up | correctly... | count wrote: | MacOS/iOS Contacts supports this, for what it's worth. You | can enter a 'Company Name' and leave fname/lname blank, and | it'll give it a different default icon, as well as show it | as the company name in lists/sorts. | zvr wrote: | The same in Android Contacts and GMail Contacts. | omarhaneef wrote: | There have been several iterations of this sort of idea -- a | personal CRM -- and the main issue I have is they should | automatically scan my emails, texts and chats to figure out my | friends and suggest that I reach out. | | Also, want it to be 100% local and privacy first. | lordnacho wrote: | > Also, want it to be 100% local and privacy first. | | But I also want an AI personal assistant to know what to | write to everyone, what we last did, what would they be | interested in, and so on. | vageli wrote: | Something like monica may interest you to scratch the | personal CRM itch. | | https://github.com/monicahq/monica | JadoJodo wrote: | I loved the idea of this until I realized the amount of PII | I was collecting of friends and family in one place that | could be hacked. | DenisM wrote: | Yeah, I entered exactly one contact before I realized | this. | | There's also the problem of entering unflattering | details, and subsequently leaking them out. | | The search continues. | derefr wrote: | > should automatically scan my emails, texts and chats | | Great, easy to integrate one service with the APIs of a bunch | of others! | | > Also, want it to be 100% local and privacy first. | | ...but in combination? Never going to happen. | | Ask yourself: who's signing up for the API keys to enable the | client-side service to talk to all these services? Is it the | end-user, or is it this software's developer? | | If it's the software's developer, then they're effectively | leaking all these API keys by embedding them into the | software itself -- where not just the end users, but anyone | else could come along and reuse these keys for anything they | like. The service providers will find this out, and block | these keys. (No, you can't avoid this by proxying requests to | some gateway, operated by the service-provider, that holds | the API keys. Then you lose the "local/private" aspect.) | | If it's each end-user, then the aggregate traffic from all | the instances of this app running at once, will look exactly | like a bot that's trying to evade API rate-limits using a | "residential proxy cluster" like https://www.zyte.com/smart- | proxy-manager/... and so the services will block these keys. | | --- | | Mind you, in theory, you could do this on the OS level, using | OS accessibility APIs to effectively "read" the messages off | the screen. But 1. is there any third-party ISV -- who isn't | a certified accessibility-software provider -- who you'd | trust enough to allow their software the ability to | constantly "read" everything on your screen? That includes | your passwords, you know! And also, 2., the messages need to | be _on_ the screen for accessibility software to read them. | An accessibility-API-driven CRM can 't load your chat history | unless you also grant it the ability to literally take your | mouse and scroll through it for you. | | Or, alternately, coming at this from the perspective of the | Operating System vendor themselves, you could do this "in" | the OS, by forcing emails/text/chat message handling to go | through system APIs that can see these as special document | types, and so do things with them. IIRC there was at least | one pre-iPhone mobile OS that did this (BlackBerry OS, | maybe?), enabling all of these types of messaging-app traffic | to be muxed together into a single first-party app that did | indeed manage all conversations with your contacts in a | multi-channel way. | DenisM wrote: | I recall Google has an API for at least part of the Gmail | data (tasks) and that API is used on mobile devices. | | Look into it, you might be surprised. | darcys22 wrote: | I've found just setting a recurring TODO in the calendar to | "Call XXX" is sufficient. | applejacks wrote: | I signed up for https://infrequent.app/ when it was a Show HN | just to try it out and it actually worked (probably about as | well as a "non-busy" TODO in my calendar app with an alert). | Enough to remind me to call 1 or 2 people that I like to talk | to but often leave for too long, anyway. | gjsman-1000 wrote: | > I was thinking about something similar, but less cringy. | | Well, if you are worried about it being cringy, you probably | shouldn't watch the 2022 Salesforce Dreamforce (their annual | convention). It's cultish and shows the unbelievably arrogant | confidence they have in their own importance - along with the | most inexplicably childish moments for a professional | conference I've ever seen. (Let's put foam rabbit ears on our | "co-CEOs" to entertain the "trailblazers" as we gather around a | fake wooden stage imitating the outdoors with faux trees, won't | that be funny?) | i-dont-remember wrote: | I've seen a couple tools pop up around this idea. Haven't | explored them much, but: | | - MonicaHQ (open-source) | | - Dex (free version seems good enough for most people, i'm | trying this one out rn) getdex.com/ | | - Custom system in Airtable - | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30329475 | | - Infrequent app - blog post talks more about it, linked in | comments - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33308084 | meesles wrote: | There's been a few of these since the topic has come up | regularly in the last few years - | | * https://keepmyfriends.com/ * https://getdex.com/ | | I haven't used any personally! | kybernetikos wrote: | I remember moaning about twitter reducing the number of | characters people sent, and then yo! came out, and it was down | to a single bit of data. That made me think 'what would even | lower information content messages look like in a social | network, perhaps half a bit or even less?'. I figured that a | half bit of data would be where a social network sent some sort | of hello message automatically with the same frequency the | human user sent one manually, so given a message, it'd be 50/50 | whether it was sent automatically or manually. Although I got | to it theoretically, in the end, I thought it could be pretty | useful practically, as a way of sparking conversations again | when you haven't spoken to someone in a while, etc. | | Maybe combined with ChatGPT we could even make those automatic | getting-back-in-touch messages indistinguishable from the | manual ones. | calt wrote: | > Half a bit of data | | I've never heard that idea before and I love it. | scrumper wrote: | Half a bit... yeah. I read a good description of a bit (I | think in The Information by James Gleick) as "a yes or no | answer to a single unambiguous question. I'm misremembering | the quote but that's close enough. | | So half a bit would be like hearing "Umm..." in response to | that same question? | Kinrany wrote: | Yo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yo_(app) | | To be pedantic, this is not a single bit of data. This is | zero bits attached to an event. The event is not discrete | however, so I'm not sure what form of information theory | would be appropriate to describe it. | antipotoad wrote: | Thought-provoking and somehow ingenious, even if something | about this makes me deeply uncomfortable. | | To try to be a little constructive, is a relationship really | worth anything if a half-bit is all one can spare for it? | jstarfish wrote: | The half-bit you actually send means more to the recipient | than the 160 bytes you don't. | | I'm more unsettled by the automation part. At least the | half-bit received came from someone who consciously thought | about you enough to send it. Once you emulate that part, | all you have is a MITM initiating conversations between | strangers. | harryvederci wrote: | Maybe you could also "reduce" the bit in a different way, | where it would be 50/50 if a message would actually be sent | upon clicking the submit/reply button. | | Like if you'd walk on a noisy street, see someone you know, | and greet them half-heartedly and wouldn't really mind if | they didn't hear you. | | Oh man, the thrill of not knowing if this message will | actually be sent when I hit the "reply" button! | rytis wrote: | > combined with ChatGPT we could even make those automatic | getting-back-in-touch messages indistinguishable from the | manual ones | | extending this bit further - we might as well reply with | chatGPT. then it's chatGPT all the way down, who needs human | interaction when we tick the boxes of "I called them" and "I | replied"?.. :) | MisterPea wrote: | This is exactly what happened in the show Silicon Valley | with Dinesh and Gilfoyle's AI | natpalmer1776 wrote: | In this situation, neither party need be aware that the | other party is 'antisocial' in this regard. The way I see | it, the following situations apply for a tool that produces | communication indistinguishable from the user's own writing | (AI)... | | "AI" for the following cases would be beneficial: | | Social -> Antisocial | | Social <- Antisocial | | "AI" for the following cases would be net neutral: | | Antisocial -> Antisocial | | Antisocial <- Antisocial | | And finally "AI" would be inapplicable (since neither party | would use it) in the following cases: | | Social -> Social | | Social <- Social | | In this drastically simplified model, there aren't any | cases where the existence of a sufficiently competent AI | would be detrimental to any party involved, while still | providing value for those who choose to use it. | xeromal wrote: | A person on reddit actually made this app and it worked pretty | well. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me. | arthurcolle wrote: | you might be thinking of Monica? I seem to remember that | coming out of reddit a while back, could be wrong | emrah wrote: | Wow, managing one's dating life with a crm app has got to be the | most distopian thing I've seen in a while. | | I probably need to point out that I'm not dissing the app. If it | succeeds, the creators are obviously filling a need in the | market, but confirmation of such a need would indicate dating as | I define it is horribly broken | InitialLastName wrote: | > dating as I define it is horribly broken | | Socializing as a whole is broken, triggered by the | disappearance of third places, the dissolution of communities | at the altar of the nuclear dual-income family, live-at-work | jobs and "hustle culture" (Veblen entrepreneurship), and the | unlimited streaming doom-scroll. | | With nowhere to go but work and home, good luck finding anyone | to date or befriend via a nonexistent organic social network. | emrah wrote: | Very true! | | While what you are saying is very true, dating so many people | at once, plus having dated so many in the past that you need | an app to keep track of them all is a whole other level of | broken | InitialLastName wrote: | The issue is that whereas in the past you could use | "knowing somebody as an acquaintance and/or by association | with an acquaintance" as the first stage of your "should I | date somebody" funnel, you now get "here's a list of all | the people in your who have signed up for a dating service, | the marketing blurb they wrote about themselves, and some | broad demographic filters; Have at it" as your initial | filter. | mensetmanusman wrote: | Also, use stable diffusion to generate possible family life | outcome images such as your future children around a fireplace. | sunjester wrote: | Ridiculous. | swyx wrote: | the video demo seems to use "archived" for old dates, but there's | a missed opportunity here to mark them CLOSED/LOST | Ultimatt wrote: | also need STALE and STILL-WARM | scrumper wrote: | Smaller market (hopefully), but then it'd serve as CRM for | serial cannibals. | SuperNinKenDo wrote: | Pretty sure this is meant as a joke, but dating has become so | twisted now that I'm not actually 100% sure. Which makes this | perfect satire. | throwaway29812 wrote: | HBO's Silicon Valley was ok, but didn't go nearly far enough on | the absurdity. | | I promise you this is real. | [deleted] | MattGaiser wrote: | I have had a few people I know go on piles of dates, so I could | see someone having a use for it if they are rapidly iterating | through individuals. | miguelazo wrote: | "rapidly iterating through individuals" What a dystopian | nightmare. So glad I missed out on this era of dating. | MattGaiser wrote: | In a world of increased diversity and expectations (you | can't assume the 2.5 kids in the suburbs of your local city | anymore or that marriage is even a goal) of what a | relationship looks like, I am not sure of the alternative. | I am happy that I am happy single though, as it does sound | exhausting. | humanistbot wrote: | Poe's law: any sufficiently advanced parody is | indistinguishable from sincerity | austhrow743 wrote: | Now? I was running a CRM for tinder ten years ago. I assume at | this point guys are using SDRs to qualify opportunities. | fabmilo wrote: | The problem with dating is that we enforce a 1:1 relationship | while nature encourages 1:N. Am I the only one seeing this? or we | shouldn't talk about it to not risk getting canceled? | trekkie1024 wrote: | This reminds me of the main character in Along Came Polly who | puts his new girlfriend and ex-wife into a Risk Assessment tool | to decide who he should stay with :D. Naturally, it doesn't go | well once the girlfriend discovers it! | monkeynotes wrote: | I hate modern life. | kareemm wrote: | A good left-brained friend of mine was dating heavily in the late | 2000s as he was in "wife finding mode". | | He had a spreadsheet -- called girls.xls -- where he kept track | of important details about each woman he went on a date with. | | We were sitting around musing about how hard it must be to keep | track of the key details given all the dates he was going on, and | he let drop that he had a spreadsheet. | | He never showed it to anybody and it didn't sound creepy - it was | genuinely a tool he used in good faith given the volume of info | he was trying to keep track of. | | And, he ended up marrying #42. | [deleted] | wrldos wrote: | I did this a loooong time ago before there was really internet | dating. Had a decision analysis tool I wrote in excel 97. | Married a match in 2002. She was a crazy narcissist and made my | life misery for 18 years until I divorced her. | | Beware the tools you create, for the input corpus isn't | necessarily valid over time. People change. | dvt wrote: | I don't really consider myself left-brained, but I've always | had a hard time remembering names. Partially because I'm not | great at empathizing with folks I just meet, and partially | because I genuinely don't care that much. Around college, I | discovered this is absolutely not a great trait to have | (incidentally, also most applicable when meeting women), so I | started a Names file in my phone. I have hundreds of names in | there now in the format "First Name - small salient | description." | | People are amazed at how great I am at remembering names and | details. It's become almost a super-power, it's weird how | writing things down can completely change how people perceive | you. It's really cool to scroll through the names and see | people I met years ago: the cute barista that moved away right | after COVID, an old neighbor's boyfriend, a coworker's dog (I | extended the list to also include pets). Brings back good | memories and often makes me smile. | Octabrain wrote: | I do the same but without writing down anything. I just keep | it in my head. I always joke with how creepy I feel when I | coincidentally meet someone for the second time after months, | at a party or something and start to bring up details about | that person into the conversation we are having. For now, | everyone has been happy and kinda flattered that a pretty | much unknown guy is able to remember precise details about | their lives but I feel like a psycho. | berelig wrote: | I kept a note on my phone with details about my girlfriend (now | wife) that I would otherwise easily forget. Favorite flowers, | songs, restaurants, etc. As I got to know her family I briefly | had a few lines for her parents and siblings but now that we're | married I can just bug her for info instead. | lr4444lr wrote: | Of course he did. | phowat wrote: | So that's why the answer is 42 ! | phoenixreader wrote: | Even better, in the original novel, the mice's guess for the | ultimate question of life, universe, and everything is "how | many roads must a man walk down?" | causality0 wrote: | I was probably 24 years old before I realized dating multiple | people was even a thing. I figured you talked to and dated a | person until you either decided you weren't having a good time | or you married them. | wrldos wrote: | Note that it's not universally true around the world. In the | US, yes. If you do this in the UK, it will result in an | evening where you end up ordering a taxi and slipping out the | back door while two women are pulling each other's hair | extensions out outside a pub and trying to beat the opponent | with a shoe. | | Yes this actually happened to me. | downvoteme1 wrote: | Is he still married ? | breck wrote: | After the divorce he discovered a bug in his VLOOKUP. | wrldos wrote: | Narcissist flag was missing in my original dataset. | dusted wrote: | This strikes me as super creepy.. But I could see the use-case | for stuff like dating-sims where you're kinda supposed to be the | creep? | jarek83 wrote: | SalesForce is business - leaking business data is not that | problematic. This, is about storing extremely delicate | information about people. It better has top notch protection | against data breach massive fines will be coming soon. | endisneigh wrote: | is this supposed to be sarcastic? it's exactly the opposite. | dougdonohoe wrote: | I'm happily married for nearly 22 years and thankful more than | ever I don't have to date in today's environment. This sounds | awful. Like dystopianly awful. | pmarreck wrote: | Amused, impressed and terrified, all at once. | kimoz wrote: | Will help me in my plate spinning process ;) | Willish42 wrote: | Still not entirely certain this isn't just a really impressive | parody, but for my sanity I am hoping it is. | | I think this says a lot about the "attention economy" way all the | various dating and social apps take up your time to use them, and | how we've digitized the process so much that people unironically | see the appeal of a CRM system for managing contacts. Classic | case of "new tech to solve the problems of all the other tech", | where the other tech is actually the source of the problem, and | probably shouldn't be relied on in this way. | ericmcer wrote: | I am sure it is not a parody. I have witnessed co-workers | getting professional photographs and using spreadsheets to | track dates/matches, all to carefully optimize their dating app | success. | | It reminds me of the early 2000s "pick up artist" stuff, I had | a few friends who read the books and would actively hit on | women anytime we went out. It was horrible haha. | | As for the maker of this app, if it fills a need and gets | widely adopted who knows? | dinkleberg wrote: | This has got to be a parody, right? I really hope it is! | [deleted] | avaldez_ wrote: | This is the 21st century version of the catalogue aria in Don | Giovanni https://youtu.be/qgC3GGxF1E0 | ablatt89 wrote: | Probably useful for straight girls more than guys tbh: | | COUNT(ROWS(person.gender == Male and person.orientation == | Straight)) == 0 | technick wrote: | Back in my day we used notes in contact cards! | Darioros wrote: | Most people here don't need a software to manahe their 1 date per | year | technick wrote: | Back in my day we used the notes field on contact cards or in | outlook. | someweirdperson wrote: | That "force" in the name implies that it is a tool for a group of | persons working together on all those dates? | marcosdumay wrote: | Sure. That's way better than the alternative. | verst wrote: | People have been shamed for using spreadsheets to track their | dates, this is even worse. | msie wrote: | If only I had a need for this! | random3 wrote: | Can someone chime in why this hasn't worked in the past? | | It seems a personal/portable CRM could be highly useful. The | second aspect is the vertical aspect (professional or "personal") | | One thing I keep hearing from people that have sold companies, | exited etc. is that they are having a hard time operating within | their networks without the CRM. | makeworld wrote: | No experience, but there is https://github.com/monicahq/monica | [deleted] | MattGaiser wrote: | I think it simply would need a lot of discipline to keep up to | date and without a manager nagging or bonuses being dependent | upon updating it, most people lack that discipline. | dsfyu404ed wrote: | > Can someone chime in why this hasn't worked in the past? | | Because spreadsheets and notes are free and good enough. | | I used to be a full time shitty cheap car flipper. I used to be | single. They're about the same level of communication work. The | ROI of a proper CRM isn't there because in both cases your | customer is just not that serious about the interaction when | they're in the part of the funnel a CRM helps you with and even | then it doesn't really help you with the bulk of the customers, | it helps you with the long tail. When you're a one man shop | squeezing out an extra 1% or whatever a CRM gets you isn't | worth the time vs focusing on other areas. (These days I work | in a client facing role with a proper ticketing system and | integrated CRM so I do have something to compare to.) | chuckwalter wrote: | I've been working on FriendApp the past year. I think it hasn't | worked in the past because the average person doesn't realize | that they could really benefit from this solution. It hasn't | necessarily felt like a burning problem. I think it has to add | some value beyond just classifying and adding additional | metadata to contacts. | | My goal is to develop features that also facilitate sharing of | activities, upcoming events that I'm attending that I want to | share with people I know. Things I want to do, and making that | visible to select groups of people. | | Hope you'll check out where we're heading | https://www.friendapp.com/ | awad wrote: | CRMs work at scale by selling to executives who are not the end | users but are in control of budget. They then have their sales | managers enforce data fidelity amongst the sales team who, to | keep their jobs, are incentivized to make sure data in the CRM | are up to date, or whatever the closest approximation to that | is. | | So for a personal CRM to work, you'd need to sort out, at | minimum, the monetization piece and the data fidelity piece. If | you open source it, you still need to make sure people keep the | data up to date and that's actually pretty hard. | random3 wrote: | Executives also want to take the rolodex with them, hence | they have an incentive to keep a personal CRM so that they | keep their contacts after they leave. | | Superhuman sold to executives for $30/month - which is a | relevant (high) price point. | nlh wrote: | Yes. Having been in this space for a bit, there are a few | reasons why it hasn't worked (yet): | | 1. The problem of deduplicating contacts is tough (but | solvable). If you don't solve it well, then the utility of | personal CRM goes wayyyyy down and you're getting notifications | about the same people with different email / WhatsApp / | Instagram addresses and that gets annoying. | | 2. People haven't shown a big willingness to pay very much for | this (so far), despite everyone saying they want it. So we're | left with the open source solutions that don't solve the | problems very well. | | 3. People are SUPER concerned about privacy. See a comment | above about someone who wants the system to automatically scan | email, etc. and extract contacts, but that it must be 100% | local and privacy-centric. You can't have both of those - to | intelligently extract contacts without duplicates (and figure | out that @mybestie on Instagram == mybestie@gmail.com == | my.c.bestie@corporate.com) you need a big database of who's who | to match against. | | Everything is solvable I think - we're not talking cold fusion | here. But it's tougher than it might seem on the surface. | rcme wrote: | One problem I've had adopting such a system is that you want | the system to help manage some load of work, e.g. maintaining | your personal relationships. But using the product is itself | work: you need to set it up, remember to use it, keep it up | to date, etc. So, just as you've procrastinated keeping up | with old friends, you procrastinate using the tool. And, of | course, the tool doesn't reduce the workload of keeping up | with friends. In fact, done successfully, your work has | increased as you need to talk to your friends more often. So | you're basically adding work (using the tool) to do work you | didn't have the energy for in the first place (talking to | your friends). | | Everyone loves the idea of talking to their friends, | conceptually. But, given ample time and opportunity, many | choose not to keep up with friends. It's almost as if people | only "want to want" to keep up with friends, rather than | actually want it. | BeefySwain wrote: | Could you expand on what options exist currently? You say you | are in the space, does that mean you have been keeping an eye | on it, that you are working on something, or ? | random3 wrote: | I believe a plugin (e.g. in Obsidian, Notion, Superhuman) | could work better than Monica. In fact I think Superhuman has | the bets oppportunity to create this product. | szundi wrote: | Only problem with this is you either has nothing to fill in, or | just when it would start to matter the dates you are forgetting | about are not really the ones who worth it. | | I also like the "probability" field. | partiallypro wrote: | Do you have to hire engineers for $500k+ to get it to work, in | the spirit of Salesforce? | [deleted] | lcnPylGDnU4H9OF wrote: | I imagine that would depend largely upon how much data you | needed to transfer to the new system. | pkghost wrote: | The copy in the example entry is telling: "I met her on Polk | street." | | If you don't know SF well, Polk street is one of two frat boy | rows. | ZephyrOhm wrote: | P.S. Marc Benioff, please don't sue us. Remember that imitation | is the sincerest form of flattery. | kypro wrote: | Thing is it has nothing to do with how some exec feel about the | product. | | Corporations don't like stuff like because they don't want to | deal with clients who don't understand the joke being playing | with their brand. OP isn't going to be the one who has to do | damage control when this blows up and some percentage of people | start to to believe it's actual Salesforce behind this product. | dpierce9 wrote: | Concept and parallel aside, you might not want the word 'force' | in the name of your dating app. Just a thought. | scrumper wrote: | Totally agree. Call it "Funnel". Which is gross and puerile on | one level but not, like, violent. | [deleted] | NickC25 wrote: | Dunno if this was intended as a joke, but I find the whole | presentation of the site to be hilarious. Well done! | | As others have said, if you were able to find if Hinge, Bumble, | Tinder, Grindr, etc... have open APIs that you could connect to | your app? Same goes for things like Eventbrite or Meetup. | | "I met so-and-so through (dating app) on (date/time) and we hit | it off well. We then met up again via (event app) and continued | meeting up regularly, and I was able to keep notes about so-and- | so on the app - their favorite bars, foods, music, etc... as they | revealed it to me, and the app was able to provide me with info | as to when I was last in touch with them, when there's | availability at their favorite restaurant, a music act at their | favorite bar, etc..." | | I'd love to have an app like that in my life. | lordfrito wrote: | As much as I love this idea, part of me read this and thought | "Great, one more reason for women who aren't interested in me | to feign even more interest, because big event xyz is coming up | and it's 'revealed' to them I can afford it so it's 'revealed' | to me they want to go." | | SMH | gourabmi wrote: | This needs a way to migrate master data and touch points info | from a Google Sheet. | TechBro8615 wrote: | Designed to be deleted, just like Salesforce | [deleted] | ssalka wrote: | Add a ChatGPT integration to suggest openers and you've got | yourself a killer app /s | jaqalopes wrote: | A lot of dunking going on in here, and fairly so, if nothing else | because there is no good business model for an app like this | unless they build it into dating apps (who's going to manually | enter data from Tinder into this thing?). | | But the dunking seems to overlook the genuine problems with | modern dating that didn't exist in the past. I find that it's | very easy to mindlessly swipe a thousand people on an app and | suddenly end up with more matches than I have the energy and | attention span to process. If there was an easy way to turn this | "inbox" (which is really just one step above my Gmail spam | folder) into an actionable database, that could have real value | in a world where dating happens stochastically through apps. | | Separately, it isn't weird at all to keep some sort of track of | your dating life. Past generations had the "little black book," | basically a romantic rolodex. I've never used one but who's to | say I couldn't benefit from a digital version that lives in my | phone? | | Most of all, a commenter here that is since deleted said | something I think is apt: "I think the number one problem with | online dating is not managing all the people. It's forcing | yourself to keep the number of active pursuits low enough to | manage. If you don't kind of commit to seeing if someone is going | to pan out, then they won't." This is of course the actual | solution to the problem I experience with modern dating. The only | downside is that, unlike downloading an app, it requires that I | change how I think and behave. | awinter-py wrote: | different co's approach to the integration problem was via | 'data grab by keyboard' | | https://www.thekeys.ai/product | | not sure about bidirectional data flow though -- maybe you can | do that via accessibility interfaces? | | Also possible that OSes will offer standard chat UX in the | future, making it simpler to hook plugins into conversations -- | ios already does this to some extent with imessage plugins, but | 'tinder for imessage' is the opposite of 'imessage for tinder' | so this is most useless bc of lock-in | ddmma wrote: | Should target the sex selling market. Business model guaranteed. | fknorangesite wrote: | You'll have to repeal FOSTA-SESTA first. And you'll even save | some lives as a nice side effect. | Mongoose wrote: | The conference has to be called Dreamyforce ___________________________________________________________________ (page generated 2023-01-18 23:00 UTC)