[HN Gopher] Effective Immediately: A central hub for people who'...
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Effective Immediately: A central hub for people who've been
recently laid off
Author : derwiki
Score : 55 points
Date : 2023-04-22 20:32 UTC (2 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (github.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (github.com)
| rushils wrote:
| I'm a bit biased, but if you're job searching in 2023, I'd highly
| recommend using Simplify. Autofills job applications, matches you
| to opportunities and automatically keeps track of where you
| applied via the chrome extension. Kinda the whole deal for your
| job search experience.
|
| Source of bias: I'm one of the founders.
| [deleted]
| john-tells-all wrote:
| [2020]
| 29athrowaway wrote:
| My suggestions:
|
| - Cancel all non-essential subscriptions, services and expenses.
|
| - Calculate how much time you can afford to be unemployed, and
| how to extend that time if necessary.
|
| - If you employer provided you with medical benefits, make sure
| to get any important pending doctor visits before you may need to
| switch insurances.
|
| - You can be professional and proud of your job, but your job is
| not your identity. There is more to you than what you do for a
| living.
|
| - Keep a routine. Get up in the morning at a given time, take a
| shower, cook a palatable meal, go for a run, read a few book
| pages, don't stay up late. There are habit building apps you can
| get for your phone that are good for this.
|
| - Your new job is to get a job. You should look at it in this
| way. You do have a purpose, you do have something to do.
|
| - Do not ruminate! Do not revisit arguments that could have gone
| differently. Use what you can as a lesson and move on. Don't get
| stuck in the past.
|
| - Do not drink. It won't make things better. If you want to deal
| with emotional pain, go volunteer at an animal shelter or do
| something meaningful.
|
| - Be honest about it with the people around you. If you think
| your partner and friends will look at you unfavorably because you
| don't have a job, then they're not really on your side and you
| are better off without them.
|
| - Be kind to yourself. Nobody is perfect.
| jacooper wrote:
| > - You can be professional and proud of your job, but your job
| is not your identity. There is more to you than what you do for
| a living.
|
| I see this frequently pointed out, as in not introducing
| yourself by your profession, etc.
|
| But what are you then?
|
| You introduce yourself as an uncle to somebody or a dad?
|
| Yes there are things outside of working, but its a core part of
| who a person is.
| JumpCrisscross wrote:
| > _But what are you then?_
|
| "What are you" is a fun question, particularly when
| traveling. Most Americans answer with their race or job.
| Italians, in my experience, gave answers with their local
| heritage; in India I frequently got a religion.
| switchbak wrote:
| Race?? Wow.
|
| Around here you're more likely to hear what their preferred
| outdoor activity is.
| 29athrowaway wrote:
| It's part of what you do, and it does influence how you see
| things, but your life does not being or end with a job.
|
| Your job friends, however friendly, might not necessarily
| remain your friends after you leave the company.
|
| You can care about your job and your craft, and doing good
| for your customers to do your part in building a better world
| for everyone... but there must be something else outside that
| or your life will be pretty empty, and might even affect your
| job in the long run.
| whiplash451 wrote:
| You can start by stating what you are good at.
| vuln wrote:
| "Hi I'm John, I'm good at basket weaving"
| AlecSchueler wrote:
| Why not?
| InvaderFizz wrote:
| Most of my friends know I do DevOps/SRE which is relevant to
| a lot of conversations we may have. They don't usually know
| or care who I do it for.
| jacooper wrote:
| That's what I meant, I will edi the comment to make it
| clearer.
| brailsafe wrote:
| Hi I'm ${first_name}.
|
| I only ever ask what someone does if it's clearly relevant to
| the context in which I met them, such as their lunch break.
| Swizec wrote:
| Leading workshops in USA and Europe has been pretty
| eyeopening.
|
| Americans: "I'm so and so from $employer where I do software
| engineering in the foobles department"
|
| Europeans: "I'm so and so from $city where I live with 3 kids
| and enjoy basket weaving. For work I build foobles"
|
| You have to explicitly ask Europeans about their employers
| whereas Americans seem to get completely consumed by their
| company so much they lose all other identity.
| brailsafe wrote:
| > Be honest about it with the people around you. If you think
| your partner and friends will look at you unfavorably because
| you don't have a job, then they're not really on your side and
| you are better off without them.
|
| I think that last one is pretty damaging the way you wrote it.
| I would slightly change this to say "Be honest about it with
| the people around you, if your friends or partner _evidently_
| look at you unfavourably, then consider whether they 're on
| your side or if it would be worth trying to keep them around, a
| direct serious conversation can sometimes do wonders for your
| relationships, and socially isolating yourself can sometimes be
| useful but oftentimes costly. (or something to this effect,
| leaning on tangibly being unsupported by your personal
| relationships rather than vague notions of anticipated
| rejection)
|
| Merely anticipating people might not look at you favourably is
| kind of a separate issue.
| JumpCrisscross wrote:
| > _think your partner and friends will look at you
| unfavorably because you don 't have a job_
|
| Friends, 100%. But I can see being uncomfortable sharing such
| information with a partner. Not because they'll think less of
| you. But because it will stress them out. (You should
| obviously still be honest.)
| [deleted]
| 29athrowaway wrote:
| Fair-weather friends are not true friends.
|
| If unemployment can help you get rid of people that saved
| your contact as "Free food", that's a great thing.
| bitL wrote:
| Haha, this is so true. It literally happened to me once
| when I threw a large party at my place and one lady set it
| in her calendar as "gourmet food" and tried to bring her
| friends as well.
| Aeolun wrote:
| That's true, but neither are leeches. There's a limit to
| everything.
| unqueued wrote:
| My biggest mistake after being laid off was to not be
| discerning enough about my next job. You need to be willing to
| say no to a crummy job offer, even as the bills pile up.
| brailsafe wrote:
| Could you elaborate on that? I would think maybe in the very
| short term if you have minimal expenses and some savings, you
| have a bit of time to be picky, but not if you've got major
| expenses, dependants, or just very few offers coming in.
|
| Like don't go agreeing to an obviously terrible offer, but
| this isn't a seller's market anymore.
| SoftTalker wrote:
| Well maybe. You can consider taking a less-than-ideal job to
| give yourself a longer runway, while you keep looking for a
| good/great job.
|
| As long as it's an "at will" job (as almost all are) you can
| quit in two weeks, two months, or six months if a better
| opportunity comes along.
| jacquesm wrote:
| That's true but better something than nothing, you can accept
| the crummy job offer, and then accept an even better one a
| short while later.
| 29athrowaway wrote:
| It's like blackjack: do you want to stay or double down?
|
| Either way, you can win or lose.
|
| But as with gambling, bankroll management is of essence. You
| don't want to lose more than you can.
| pongo1231 wrote:
| I mean you can accept it and still be on the hunt for a
| better job offer, no? You wouldn't lose any opportunities
| from accepting the offer.
| cm2012 wrote:
| Entertainment subscriptions are usually a negligible part of
| people's budgets. Hard to spend more than $100 a month on it.
| eastbound wrote:
| > Do not ruminate! Do not revisit arguments that could have
| gone differently. Use what you can as a lesson and move on.
| Don't get stuck in the past.
|
| Ruminating is such a negative driver in a lot of our lives that
| I feel we should do better than internet advice.
|
| It's probably useful to rehearse decisions in the background,
| except when it's overwhelming, and it makes me fall back into
| Tiktok addiction because only Tiktok takes me away from
| rumination, and I think we're a lot of people who do something
| addictive just as an upgrade from ruminating.
|
| But yes, ruminating ruins months, maybe years in a life.
|
| Go see a psychologist if that is the case.
| 29athrowaway wrote:
| Just learn what rumination is, and when you realize you are
| doing it, just acknowledge that it is not useful. You can say
| "Hello there, rumination. I know it's you. Now it's time to
| say goodbye."
|
| If you make thoughtful decisions based on information that's
| as complete as possible, you should be content with your
| decisions, whatever the outcome is, you did what you can with
| you had.
| 6510 wrote:
| make a website
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(page generated 2023-04-22 23:00 UTC)