[HN Gopher] Kelly Rowland couldn't have used the =HYPERLINK() fu...
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Kelly Rowland couldn't have used the =HYPERLINK() function to
message Nelly
Author : thepbone
Score : 284 points
Date : 2023-07-11 20:33 UTC (2 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (blog.jgc.org)
(TXT) w3m dump (blog.jgc.org)
| tacker2000 wrote:
| There used to be a website with tons of examples of this type of
| "nonsensical" use of computers on TV and in movies. Does anyone
| know if its still around?
| dylan604 wrote:
| From elsewhere in this thread
|
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36687656
| kbos87 wrote:
| Anyone who has ever had to produce some sort of on-screen demo
| like this knows how miserable, tedious and thankless a task this
| can be. There was probably a better justification for their
| choice to use a spreadsheet than we are all imagining!
| dylan604 wrote:
| I once had to do something very quickly on set to get something
| "interesting" on the screen. It was a macbookpro available, so
| I opened up Terminal, set it to the green on black Homebrew
| color scheme, created a while [ 1 -eq 1 ] type loop that did a
| find . -name * -print type of command. they were supper happy
| with it since the characters were meant to be trying to find a
| file. I just said, this is basically how I'd find a file, so
| they really like the authenticity.
|
| I really enjoed the stories from the advisor for Silicon Valley
| that went so authentic that the world now has the Not A Hotdog
| app.
| stuaxo wrote:
| Is this the Sheet that appeared on the Psion5, appearing on
| Symbian?
| jgrahamc wrote:
| Of course, it's _this_ blog of mine that's #1 on HN!
|
| If you like this sort of thing: https://www.tumblr.com/moviecode
| and https://behind-the-screens.tv/
| filmgirlcw wrote:
| Thank you for these blogs! Huge, huge fan of your work on all
| of this stuff -- and as a Kelly Rowland fan (Beyonce is still
| better, but Kelly > Michelle), thank you for this as well!
| syx wrote:
| I loved your moviecode project, spent countless hours during
| college reading at these random snippets of code :)
| belfalas wrote:
| _> Of course, it's this blog of mine that's #1 on HN!_
|
| I mean, you did file it under "well, actually..." - that's
| canonical for HN. ;)
| underlipton wrote:
| I still say that her shift key was broken and she was just using
| the spreadsheet functions to correct the sentence's
| capitalization.
| joenathanone wrote:
| The "sheet" file could have been acting as the datastore for a
| text messaging program, Kelly being so distraught over having not
| receiving a response in a timely manner from Nelly lead her to
| check the datastore to make sure that the program wasn't
| malfunctioning by not showing new messages.
| gowld wrote:
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilemma_(song)
|
| "An accompanying music video was directed by Benny Boom and
| released in September 2002."
|
| Apps like that weren't available then.
| joenathanone wrote:
| Mercury Instant Messager for Nokia 9210 / 9290
|
| "a Jabber based, interoperatable client, is enabled with
| group conferencing abilities, third party gateway
| functionality (chatting with users from AOL, Yahoo, ICQ, IRC,
| and more!), and unlimited contact storage."
|
| http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/news/item/Mercury_Instant_Mes.
| ..
| ryanmcbride wrote:
| you're misunderstanding the point of the exercise
| itishappy wrote:
| In fact, this very music video served as the inspiration for
| the first messaging app back in 2004.
|
| "Managing all these spreadsheets is so cumbersome! Surely,
| there must be a better way..." - John Messages
|
| Clearly, I'm missing your point.
| pbhjpbhj wrote:
| Hmmm ... I'm not sure this is conclusive.
|
| The manual [0] at p.187 says:
|
| >You can use Word to write new and edit existing text documents.
| You can insert and view images and other files in the documents.
| You can also send and receive documents as fax, SMS, mail, PC
| mail, or via infrared.
|
| So, you can embed, well insert, "other files" in a Word document.
| You can send and receive a Word document as an SMS ... it seems
| like Kelly and Nelly might be sending a Sheet inserted in a Word
| "as" an SMS!??
|
| Another page [1] says you can send "Microsoft Excel
| 2/3/4/5/7/97/98/2000 XLS, XLC" as an attachment. So, perhaps it's
| an Excel doc as an attachment to an email? Here's a guy sending a
| Word doc as an SMS [2], at 7m37 [3] you see the option to attach
| a "Sheet".
|
| FWIW I suspect this video shot was reached by something along the
| lines of a director saying "who can make some text show large
| enough on here for us to read on the video playback?" or an
| assistant saying "out the box the only way I can enter that text
| that doesn't show as a Word doc is like this!".
|
| E&OE, apologies ... we need to go deeper!
|
| [0] https://www.tech-
| insider.org/mobile/research/acrobat/010625.... [1]
| http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/devices/nokia9210/9210specs.p...
| [2] https://youtu.be/tr9vqLs5XpI?t=315 [3]
| https://youtu.be/tr9vqLs5XpI?t=457
|
| For completeness, the "Dilemma" (by Nelly, ft. Kelly Rowland)
| music video that someone else linked is at
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYHDfJDPDc&t=190s.
| highwaylights wrote:
| This is why we don't get invited to parties.
|
| I'm on board with it, but this is the reason.
| qup wrote:
| Well, actually, the reason we don't get invited to parties is a
| lot more involved than that.
|
| If you take, for example, the average...
| [deleted]
| trillic wrote:
| I can finally sleep soundly
| jgrahamc wrote:
| Glad to have been of service.
| nickpeterson wrote:
| Can you investigate why when I chirp at people on my Nextel
| they don't chirp back?
| version_five wrote:
| I've had the same problem trying to squirt songs to people
| with my Zune
| deaddodo wrote:
| You can call it whatever you want, it's still a crime.
| type0 wrote:
| But it would work with word editor right?
| https://nokia-9210-communicator.helpdoc.net/en/10-office-2/w...
|
| > You can also send and receive documents as fax, SMS, mail, PC
| mail, or via infrared.
|
| Honestly I would have been much more impressed with the video if
| she was sending him a fax
| function_seven wrote:
| This is a larger scandal than the whole Ariely/Gino thing going
| on. We need to pay attention to this.
| noman-land wrote:
| Now this is journalism.
| lordnacho wrote:
| Nobody gonna ask who in their right mind finds it useful to open
| three rows of a spreadsheet on a phone? Why would they even have
| that on the device?
|
| If there's one thing iPhone figured out, it was getting actually
| useful apps on phones instead of imitation desktops.
| cbeach wrote:
| Tell me you're autistic without telling me you're autistic
|
| PS I'm autistic too, no offence intended! :-)
| filmgirlcw wrote:
| My favorite was the time that someone asked Kelly [1] about why
| she was using Excel and not the messaging app on that product-
| placement phone and she was like "I have no idea what you are
| talking about or why this is a meme." And then the Microsoft
| Excel Twitter account, the only good Twitter account, responded
| with grace [2].
|
| [1]: https://twitter.com/MichaelBaggs/status/1099957857901002752
| [2]: https://twitter.com/msexcel/status/1100162136888827904
| [deleted]
| tedunangst wrote:
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYHDfJDPDc&t=190s
| sam1r wrote:
| Fantastic post title. I had to re-read it 3-5 times to make sure
| I myself was reading correctly -- prior to clicking the link.
| muh_gradle wrote:
| This is what the Internet is for.
| failuser wrote:
| Up next: could have two NCIS agents typed on the same keyboard at
| the time to defend from a security breach in real time?
| paxys wrote:
| Of course. All you need to do is link their minds together like
| in Pacific Rim. So then it's like one person using four hands
| on a keyboard to type twice as fast.
| pseudotrash wrote:
| You mean a 4 way crimp? It has never been done before Naboo.
| tedunangst wrote:
| It's ridiculous as portrayed, and doesn't match the visuals,
| but one could write a combined netstat and top that allowed
| simultaneous navigation of net connections and process tree
| with wasd and hjkl respectively. If one were a super hacker.
| TheIronMark wrote:
| On a related note, could the leader of the team have shutdown a
| supercomputer by shooting the monitor?
| tedivm wrote:
| My headcanon for that scene is that the two of them were
| letting a program run in the background, and at the same time
| were just fucking with the rest of the team. The rest of the
| NCIS team was remarkably tech illiterate, while Abby and Tim
| were definitely the type to joke around. It was just two geeks
| trolling their coworkers.
| atchoo wrote:
| They were using a keyboard driver that treats each half of the
| keyboard as it's own separate chorded keyboard allowing
| parallel use. Pretty standard I think you'll find.
| dylan604 wrote:
| They were probably using a MIDI controller with polyphony
| enabled
| type0 wrote:
| Could Sandra's character in The Net send an email to FBI
| address bcg@fbi.justice https://youtu.be/6ya9GVSPiXs?t=49
|
| and were the Switch Mail Center settings correct?
| https://youtu.be/6ya9GVSPiXs?t=13
| boeingUH60 wrote:
| Could the screen have displayed "hacked" after a hacker
| successfully broke into a network?
| MagicMoonlight wrote:
| Yes, there are monitoring tools for detecting attacks by
| looking for things like outgoing transmissions for control
| kulahan wrote:
| This will _always_ be my favorite "whats a compooter" scene
| amiga386 wrote:
| Keeping it real, when Weird Al says "I edit Wikipedia", he is
| editing Wikipedia: https://youtu.be/N9qYF9DZPdw?t=109
| soared wrote:
| Hilarious marketing/blog post on how to overengineer this so it
| works on gsheets - https://www.nexmo.com/legacy-
| blog/2019/01/23/how-to-send-sms...
|
| Sadly I can't seem to find any documentation on the nokia
| spreadsheet program to see what we could with it.
| em-bee wrote:
| Zawinski's Law:
|
| _Every program attempts to expand until it can read_ [or send]
| _mail._ [or SMS /text messages]
|
| (additions in [] are mine)
| jeroen wrote:
| I have written software for the Nokia 9110 (the predecessor of
| the 9210) and not being able to find any documentation was par
| for the course. There was only a forum where sometimes, with a
| delay of a couple of days, questions would be answered by Nokia
| engineers.
| dpflan wrote:
| Thank you. Now do CSI. There must be some aggregate of this type
| of stuff (tumblr RIP)?
| jgrahamc wrote:
| I did do this https://www.tumblr.com/moviecode and this
| https://behind-the-screens.tv/
| joiqj wrote:
| The tumblr site asks me to log in if I want to continue
| seeing posts after I get to the Futurama one :-(
| gavitas wrote:
| Reddit refugee here. This post convinced me to sign up.
| brianpan wrote:
| I'd say this post isn't typical. Check out the guidelines:
| https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
|
| Welcome to HN!
| stockholm wrote:
| Maybe she was just drafting the message in a spreadsheet - that
| would make a lot more sense than using some advanced Excel
| feature
| arthurcolle wrote:
| Does that make a lot more sense?
| version_five wrote:
| Working with different businesses I've found that spreadsheets
| are often used for stuff I would never have thought they would
| be. Mainly like having large multi paragraph text in the cells,
| but using the rows and columns to index it. I can see why this
| is preferred over a linear word style document, there's an
| opportunity for someone to find a better way that combines
| spreadsheet like visual referencing with a good UI for entering
| stuff in the "cells". Excel is awful for this, for example
| having to remember to press Alt+enter and not being able to
| scroll smoothly down through cells (so if one cell takes up the
| screen vertically all you can do is snap to the next). Anyway,
| drafting a message in a spreadsheet is not that unreasonable or
| at least not uncommon.
| arthurcolle wrote:
| when I worked at $BANK most traders had reimplemented their
| own DB using INDEX/MATCH and honestly it is a super powerful
| model when you get the hang of it. Obviously insane to
| support "at scale" but it is what it is. #ExcelGangRiseUp
| jrockway wrote:
| I did a little bit of this supporting when I worked at a
| bank. Apparently there is multicast networking that you can
| plug into spreadsheets, so the "output" of a spreadsheet
| can be used as inputs on other people's workstations and it
| updates in real time. (I would say this was before Google
| Docs was a thing, but I don't think it actually was. But
| Google Docs wasn't widely used anywhere at the time.)
|
| This all blew up one day causing the bank to lose money. My
| team was supposed to fix it or whatever, because we were
| the "market data" team. I ended up writing a small program
| to send a multicast message and record how long it took to
| come back, and graphed it over time with ... rrdtool! Once
| the network/transport layer was ruled out as the problem,
| some trader came back and said it was a bug in their
| spreadsheet. (This was of course months of early morning
| conference calls. But having data about the network was a
| new thing.)
|
| (Oh yeah, someone complained that the author of rrdtool's
| name appeared on all the charts, so I patched it to not do
| that. Sorry. Sometimes open source is more about the taking
| than the giving :( I was young and naive.)
| [deleted]
| Affric wrote:
| It speaks to both the genius that exists within the design of
| the spreadsheet digital document format, the effectiveness of
| excel's implementation (and microsoft's business), and the
| dismal state of IT empowerment and education that there is
| nothing you could show me implemented on an excel spreadsheet
| in a business that would surprise me.
|
| It goes from the obvious stuff like DBs to Hypercard clones
| to really far out stuff when you get to shared documents.
|
| Excel gets so much wrong but having sampled some of the
| competition and being proficient in programming at this point
| of my life I can only admire it and people who go deep.
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