PRINCIPIA 

DISCORDIA 

• OR • 

How I Found Goddess 
And What I Did To Her 
When I Found Her 



THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER 


WHEREIN IS EXPLAINED 
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WORTH KNOWING 
ABOUT ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING 






THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER 



PSMOpA 0M(£<@SS3A 

OR 



Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order... 

THE BOOK OF UTERUS 1;5 



Some excerpts from an Interview with Malaclypse the 
Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN IORBA LINDA 
HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND 
SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND 
INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP 


GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what? 

MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes 
I take seriousness humorously. Either way it 
is irrelevant. 

GP: Maybe you are just crazy. 

M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teachings as 
false because I am crazy. The reason that I 
am crazy is because they are true. 

GP: Is Eris true? 

M2: Everything is true. 

GP: Even false things? 

M2: Even false things are true. 

GP: How can that be? 

M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it. 

GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives? 

M2: To dissolve them. 

GP: Will you develop that point? 

M2: No. 

GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE? 

M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked 
a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. 

The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax." 

GP: Is that your answer to my question? 

M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. 

The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX! 


suspended 

a n n ihiWho n 



FOURTH EDITION 


ODD# II/2 i xii;68CheZ126 


PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA 
or 

HOW I FOUND GODDESS & WHAT I DID TO HER 
WHEN I FOUND HER 


being a Beginning Introduction to 
The Erisian Myeterees 

WHICH IS MOST INTERESTING 


as Divinely Revealed to 

My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC 
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold 
and HIGH PRIEST of 

THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) 


HAIL ERIS! x- KaXXixxi x- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! 


Dedicated to The Prettiest One 




JOSHUA NORTON CABAL 


rrealists, Harlequmists, Absurdists and Zonked ArtistsMelee 


POEE 

is one manifestation of 

THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 

about which 

you will learn more 

and understand 

less 


Me 

are a tribe 

of philosophers, theologians, 

magicians, scientists, 

artists, clowns, 

and similar maniacs 

who are intrigued 

with 

ERIS 

GODDESS OF CONFUSION 
and with 
Her 
Doings 









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THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF) 

The PENTABARF was discovered by the 
hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth 
Year of The Caterpillar. He found them 
carved in gilded stone, while building 
a sun deck for his cave, but their im¬ 
port was lost for they were written in a mysterious 
cypher. However, after 10 wks & 11 hrs of intensive 
scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read 
by standing on his head and viewing it upside down. 


THERE IS NO 
GODDESS BUT 

ER1S 


KNOW YE THIS 0 MAN OF FAITH! 


I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is 
Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but 
The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Mo¬ 
vement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the 
beloved home of a Golden Worm. 


II - A Disoordian Shall Always use the Official 
Di8cordian Document Numbering System. 

III - A Discordian is Required during his early 
Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously 
of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Cere¬ 
mony to Remonstrate against the popular Pagan¬ 
isms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no 
meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), 
of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Bud¬ 
dhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians 
(no Hot Dog Buns). 

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog 
Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess 
when She was Confronted with The Original Snub. 

V - A Discordian 
What he Reads. 

it is so written: so be it. hail discordia: 

PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED. 


is Prohibited of Believing 


TEST Question fromTopan^aCabal THE TWELVE 
FAMOUS SudDHA Mwps school •• IF +he*| are our 
brother*, houi come u/e can‘+ eat them ? 


00004 




A ZEN STORY 

by Camden Benares, The Count of Five 
Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal 

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th 
Century America confusing. He went to many people 
seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords 
that troubled him, but he remained troubled. 

One 

night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master 
said to him, "Go to the dilapidated mansion you will 
find at this address which I have written down for 
you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must 
remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. 

Go to the large room on the right of the main hall¬ 
way, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble 
in the northeast corner, face the corner, and med¬ 
itate." 

He did as the Zen Master instructed. His 
meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. 

He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing 
fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom 
to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. 

He worried how would he know when the moon rose on 
the next night. He worried about what the people who 
walked through the room said about him. 

His worrying 

and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test 
of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto 
him. At that time two people walked into the room. 

The first asked the second who the man sitting there 
was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. 
Others say he is a shithead." 

Hearing this, the 

man was enlightened. 



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- THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT - 


THE REVELATION 


10. The Earth quaKes and the Heavens rattle; 
the beasts of nature flock together and the 
nations of flock apart; volcanoes usher up 
heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and 
melts; and then on other days it just rains. 

11. Indeed do many things come to pass. 

HBT; The Book of Predications, Chap. 19 


Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, 
when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time 
that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical 
volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, 
and talk of a second American Revolution; in the com¬ 
parative quiet of the late nineteen-fifties, just 
before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant.... 


Two young Californians, known later as Omar 
Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging 
in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowl¬ 
ing alley and generally solving the world's problems. 
This particular evening the main subject of discussion 
was discord and they were complaining to each other 
of the personal confusion they felt in their respec¬ 
tive lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, 
"and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said 
the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all 


confusion." 


FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU 


WITH FAIRY DUST 


Suddenly the place became devoid of light. 
Then an utter silence enveloped them t and a great 
8tillne88 was felt. Then came a blinding flash of 
intense light 3 as though their very psyches had 
gone nova. Then vision returned. 


The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke 
for several minutes. They looked around and saw that 
the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of 
comic positions, and that a bowling ball was stead¬ 
fastly anchored to the floor only inches from the 
pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two look¬ 
ed at each other, totally unable to account for the 
phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and 
one noticed that the clock had stopped. 

o 

New Story of Chaos 




Tio ckirjle ever cared 
-2- a f >r *& rt *'' c j} 

There walked into the room a chimpanzee , shaggy 
and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full 
five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He car¬ 
ried a scroll and walked to the young men. 

"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon 
go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nip¬ 
ples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray 
tell. Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" 
He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION 
HERE!" 


And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a 
diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on one side 
and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and 
the two lost consciousness. 

ERIS - GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION 

They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and 
found the bowlers engaged in their game and the wait¬ 
ress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that 
their experience had been private. 

They discussed their strange encounter and recon¬ 
structed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over 
the next five days they searched libraries to find the 
significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover 
only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Tech¬ 
nocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writ¬ 
ing on the apple that they discovered the ancient God¬ 
dess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as 
DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they 
slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid 
woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep 
as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular 
dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure 
energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested 
and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: 

I have come to tell you that you are free. Many 
ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might 

00008 



-3- 


devetop himself. I return to find this development 
approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by 
misunderstanding. 

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of 
armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, 
your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is 
bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. 

I am chaos. I am the substance from which your 
artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit 
with which your children and clowns laugh in happy 
anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that 
you are free. 

During the next months they studied philosophies 
and theologies, and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA 
was primarily feared by the ancients as being disrup¬ 
tive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still 
considered equivilent to strife and treated as a neg¬ 
ative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they 
concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They 
found that the principle of disorder was every much 
as significant as the principle of order. 

With this in mind, they studied the strange yin- 
yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice 
came to them: 


It is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you 
Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you 
like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to 
the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there 
are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. 
Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND 
THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no 
tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further in¬ 
formation, consult your pineal gland. 



£ MUSIC/ 


00009 



-4- 


? NO HURRY 


"What Is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A 
religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is 
utter madness!" 

And with those words, each looked at the other in 
absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mai began to 
laugh. Omar began jumping up and down. Mai was hoot¬ 
ing and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals 
of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appoint¬ 
ed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and 
together they declared themselves to be a society of 
Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be. 


cn 

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All Things are Perfect 
To every last flau 
And bound in accord 
With Eris's Lau. 

4 (HBT; The Book of Advice 1:7) A 

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FN 


TTTT TTTTTTTTT TTTTTTT + I + + I + + + + IW4II + + TTTTTTT Hi 
Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose 









SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE 








THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY 


by Lord Omar 


VERSE 

Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao; 
It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs 
of Staff are now 

Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb; 
Her Apple Corps is strong! 

CHORUS 

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! 

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! 

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja! 

Her Apple Corps is strong! 

VERSE 

She was not invited to the party that they held 
on Limbo Peak;* 

So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd 
t'other cheek! 

0 it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made 
the nectar leak; 

Her Apple Corps is strong! 

* "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly 
called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak." 


OOOll 

is <s suffering 

* tewLl* losses....* 

-qen.Qea.A.Citster 


quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba 



Persons in a Position to Know, Inc. 


ON PRAYER 


Mai-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he 
often prayed to Erls. He replied with these words: 

No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. 
Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of 
ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and 
then praying fervently—and then getting the entire 
village wiped out in a torrential flood. 



00012 


"OF COURSE I’M CRAZY, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN 
I'M WRONG. I’M MAD BUT NOT ILL." 

( Werewolf Bridge . Robert Anton Wilson) 


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14. Wipe thine ass with What Is Written and 
grin like a ninny at What is Spoken. Take 
thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing 
behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path. 

THE PURPLE SAGE 

BBT; The Book of Predications, Chap. 19 


Heaven is down. Hell is up. 
This is proven by the fact 
that the planets and stars 
are orderly in their 
movements, 
while down on earth 
we come close to the 
primal chaos. 

There are four other 
proofs, 

but I forget them. 

—Josh the Dill 

090 JQONG KAMI 



IGNOTUM j E RJGNOTIU$° 

°The meaning of this is Unknown 


00013 



IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS 




SECURITY LAST INTERGALACTIC 
BANK OF MALACLYPSE 
ENDORSED AND GUARANTEED 


CUDDY & HUGHES, Printers to His ilHjrnty Norton I, 611 SauBome Street, S. F. JfcJ GODDESS WE TRUST 


























































-the Classical Cheeks 

were ntft influenced 

by +^e Classical 
Creeks 


DO NOT 
CIRCULATE 


WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ERIS (not much) 

The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity—She 
was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly 
look. Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and 
as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most 
women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly 
dagger in their bosoms. 

Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly con¬ 
fused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daugh¬ 
ter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, 
goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife 
of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and 
whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mock¬ 
ery, Misery and Friendship. And that She begat For¬ 
getful 1 ness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and 
goddesses like that. 

One day Mai-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked 
Eris if She really created all of those terrible 
things. She told him that She had always liked the 
Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with his¬ 
toric matters. "They were," She added, "victims of 
indigestion, you know." 

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malic¬ 
ious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little 
bitchy at times. 

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us 
can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating 
your Pineal t then try the appendix which does almost 
as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #2, "The 
Indoctrine of The Pineal Gland." 

00015 

DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS 



00016 


The Inside Story! 

THE LAM OF FIVES 

The Law of Fives is one of the oldest 
Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed 
to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great 
contributions to come from The Hidden 
Temple of The Happy Jesus. 

POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of 
Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes 
the Holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated 
by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS, 
into his Discordian sect, The Ancient 
Illuminated Seers of Bavaria. 

The Law of Fives states simply that: 

ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE 
DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, 

OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY 
APPROPRIATE TO 5. 

The Law of Fives is never wrong. 


In the Erisian Archives is an old memo 
from Omar to Mai-2: "I find the Law of 
Fives to be more and more manifest the 



D^r-n*’0> 



The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun 
shines by day because, being a woman, it 
is affraid to venture out at mqht. 


0001 ? 

“ You mill FIND that the STAlc is -the lo«i »f 

C^GAN/fZ-ATlO/v/ w/li'icK 7+ d<?es bhjL 

^a<My^ does small +h.n£s b«Jly too/ 

— John ItfcNNeT h QAu,^ny 


THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD 



It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet 
for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris 
because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.* 

This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an 
apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI 
("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete 
She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to 
be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. 

Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, 
Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to 
belong to herself because of the inscription. And 
they started fighting, and they started throwing punch 
all over the place and everything. 

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that 
an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable 
suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd 
of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had 
had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but 
each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the oth¬ 
ers by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. 

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera of¬ 
fered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him The 
Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young 
Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe 
and she got the apple and he got screwed. 

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly hap¬ 
penings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) 
then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. 
Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed 



- 2 - 


when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the 
Trojan War is said to be The First War among men. 

And so we suffer because of The Original Snub. 
And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns. 

Do you believe that? 

* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB. 

** There is historic disagreement concerning whether 
this apple was of metalic gold or acapulco. 

*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks 
did not know of the Law of Fives. 



5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is 
one in which History As We Know It begins to 
unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in 
Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are 
Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced 
Balance. 

6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in 
which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes 
entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, 
or Stagnation, is attained. 

7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an 
Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos 
through the Screen of Oblivion into which the 
Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Un¬ 
balanced Unbalance. 

HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3 


tfo Otfl'ZBN. 
IS 

KING CONG 


00018 



DO YOU REMEMBER? 

1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the 


OOOlij 


AN ERIS1AN HYMN 


by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB 
Episkopoa, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS 


Onward Christian Soldiers, 
Onward Buddhist Priests. 
Onward, Fruits of Islam, 
Fight till youre deceased. 
Fight your little battles. 
Join in thickest fray; 

For the Greater Glory, 
of Dis-cord-i-a. 

Yah, yah, yah. 

Yah, yah, yah, yah. 
Blfffffffffft! 




6 /- IT WAS 

L6P 

. nttAT (T^-S /Vlfc 
^(WQIAO/IXO TO'5 

^ H/lS Rcc/V OOllJCy 

* ALL of THIS 

A/ose 




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Abbey of tJ?e Sarbaroua JSelir 




OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION 


ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3l35 


POEE DIS 0 RGAN IZATIONAL MATRIX 


V) THE HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS 

For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia mV 

A. The Five Apostles of Ens 

B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC) 

C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society 

D. POEE Cabal Priests 

E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages 



IV) THE HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE 
For the Disciples of Discordia 

A. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather 

B. Council of POEE Priests 

C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD 

D. Eristic Avatars 

E. Anenstic Avatars 

NOTE: A, B, and C are POEE PROPER; while D and E are POEE IMPROPER 


III) THE HOUSE OF THE RISING HODGE 
For the Bureaucracy 

A. The Bureau of Erisian Archives 

B. The Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and 

The Division of Dogmas 

C. The Bureau of Symbols, Emblems, Certificates and Such 

D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and 

The Admimstry for The Unenlightened Eristic Horde 

E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and 

The Admimstry for The Orders of Discordia 


II) THE HOUSE OF THE RISING COLLAPSE 

For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the 
Discouragement of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton 


A. The Breeze 

B. The Breeze 

C. The Breeze 

D. The Breeze 

E. The Breeze 


of Wisdom 
of Integrity 
of Beauty 
of Love 
of Laughter 


and/or The Wind 
and/or The Wind 
and/or The Wind 
and/or The Wind 
and/or The Wind 


of Insanity 
of Arrogance 
of Outrages 
of Bombast 
of Bullshit 


I) THE OUT HOUSE 

For what is left over 



'At * 


A. 

B. 

C. 

D. 

E. 


Miscellaneous Avatars 

The Fifth Column 

POEE =POPES= everywhere 

Drawer "0" for OUT OF FILE 

Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths 



OFFICIAL - POEE 
Head Temple, San Francisco 
HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE 
Bureau of The POEE Epistolary 












= THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS * 


The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It 
may be this, or any similar device to represent TWO 
OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON POINT. It 
may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may 
be elaborated or simplified as desired. 


The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED 
HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND. 



NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the 
is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns 
of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five 
Fingered Hand of Erie, however, is not intended to 
be taken as satanic, for the "horns" are supported 
by another set, of inverted "horns." Or maybe it 
is walrus tusks. I don 't know what it is, to 
tell the truth. 

00021 

ep 

fwmiisn sf -ffas, 

fofei of ffye 

ctycf ai/ flj^f T®e§e*^GisS if ^ 



00022 



POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The 
PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The 
first part can be taken to mean "equivalent diety, 
reversing beyond-mystique." We are not really eso¬ 
teric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us. 

MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, 
is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in 
his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is 
called The Omni benevolent Polyfather of Virginity 
in Gold . 

The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of 
The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's 
pineal gland and can be found by temporaly and spac- 
ialy locating the rest of Mai-2. 

POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no 
guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one 
scruple—which Mai-2 keeps on his key chain. 

POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise 
chartered with the State, and so the State does not 
recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only 
fair, because POEE does not recognize the State. 



POEE has 5 DEGREES: 

There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE. 
The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on. 

An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN. 
The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather. 

And POEE -POPE*. 


POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate 
others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS 
appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains 
Priests. I don't know about the -POPES*. 




S.u/Ht* 











h'"’;***, Ik Ij OFFICIAL 1 

i\:> Il’tUj DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 

‘ LI A11 P D 1C 


Application For Memberslj 

In the Ensian Movement of the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY— 



1. Today’s date 


Yesterday’s date 


2. Purpose of this application: —membership in: a. Legion of Dynamic 
Discord b. POLE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the above 
e. None of the above f. Other—be specific ! 


3. Name 


Holy Name 


Address 


If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded 

4. Description: Born: [ \ yes j j no Eyes: j [ 2 [ | other Height: 

.fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason: 

Race: [ | horse | j human I. Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 

5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th 

Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 

from which you have been fired. Medical: On a seperate sheet 
labeled "confidential,” list all major psychotic episodes experienced 
within the last 24 hours 

6. Sneaky questions to establish personality traits 

I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat 

caterpillers. I wear obscene tattoos because. 

I have ceased raping little children [ \ yes j j no — reason . 

7. SELF-PORTRAIT 








Rev. Mungo 

For Office Use Only- acc. rej. burned 


LICK HERE! 


(You may be one 
of the%ucky25) 


00023 






-M- 

POEE & IT'S PRIESTS 


If you like Erisianism as it is presented according 
to Mai-2, then you may wish to form your own POEE 
CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of 
POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly what 
you think it is. 

The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, 
though he does rather expect good will of them. The 
Office of The Polyfather is to point, not to teach. 
Once in a while, he even listens. 

Should you find that your own revelations of The 
Goddess become substantially different than the 
revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps The Goddess has 
plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider 
creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. 
Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and 
they are all POEE Priests anyway (as soon as I locate 
them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing 
separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. 
section "Discordian Society." 


ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST 

There are no particular qualifications for Ordination 
because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must 
undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know better 
than you whether or not you should be Ordained? 

An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as 
"one who holds an Ordination Certificate from The 
Office of the Polyfather." 


Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise 
And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! 
Look into the Chao if thou wantest to knao 
What'8 m a Chao and why it ain't so! 

(HBT; The Book of Advice, 1:1) 




00024 




World Council of Churches Boutique 


NOTE TO POEE PRIESTS: 

The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians 
the POEE was conceived not as a commercial 
enterprise, and that you are requested to 
keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE 
Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via 
the market place. 



00025 




Ihs hicUlsN SlbHE RifENS FAST, 
mcN LRiD BARE LiKE AluRNiP 

GIm Easily be cur oar at last 

But even THEM Tmt elANGER isn't ftsr. 
THAT man Lives LesT wHo's FaIN 
To Live Half MAD y HaLF SANE. 

— FLEMISH R>Et Jam wan 
5tIJEVoo*T, 1524-. 


THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION 

BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (none or holy name) 


do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE 
LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. 

HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS 
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! 

The presiding POEE Official (if any) responds: 


ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! 


Pl-iCNE 




To diverse 
Do mortals Ioovaj; 
Holy Cou>, and 

Wholly Chao. 

9 — Rew. D<*. 


"COMMON SENSE IS WHAT TELLS YOU THAT 
THE WORLD IS FLAT. " 










TV.S is ST. Ci^UK.. He ‘.s'+^e ftessenspr 
>¦( Cjoddexs. A d.-f-ferent a££ 

oori c o ^ft<J Hik-n Herrri&s, 

ptop/e called h'.**> ky 
Man>f na»i)e5. He is a 

0002 ? 





general license 


HOW TO START A POEE CABAL 
WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER 


If you cannot find the Polyfather, or having found him, 
don't want anything to do with him, you are still auth¬ 
orized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly 
Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your 
Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for THE LEGION OF 
DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE 
PRIEST except that you don't have an Ordination Cer¬ 
tificate. The words you are now reading are your 
ordination. 

HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN 

1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies. 

2. Sign and nose-print each copy. 

3. Send one to The President of the United States. 

4. Send one to 

The California State Bureau of Furniture 
and Bedding 

1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814 

5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And 

burn the other. 



a/* Oi»T> I>OEE SLOGAN.: 

When ir) doubt, -foe k vf. 

When notin doubt:.. del" in doubt! 


00028 





TRIP 



= THE POEE BAPTISMAL RITE = 


This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, 
but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes 
who desire a formal ceremony. 

1) The Priest and four Brothers are arranged in a 
pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the 
Priest. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate 
right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The 
Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that 
he is truly a human being; and not something else in 
disguise like a cabbage or*something. 

2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, 
excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position 
and return to a standing position. This is repeated 
four* more times. This dance is symbolic of the 
humility of we Erisians. 

3) The Priest begins: 

I, (com£leteHol][Narne^ with Mystical Titles, and 
degrees^ designations, offices, Stc.) , Ordained 
Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris 
Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the 
High Priest of It, Office of The Polyfather, The 
House of The Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do 
herewith Require of Ye: 

1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR 
SOMETHING? The Initiate answers YES. 

2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? 
The Initiate answers YES. 

3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILO¬ 
SOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES. 

4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE 
HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers 
PROBABLY. 


Return to 



00029 



- 2 - 


5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: 

(The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital 
of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.) The Priest continues: 
THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), 
LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. 

HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES! 

4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother 
opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who 
are present. 

5) The Ceremony generally degenerates. 


H \ORO SAYS THAT 0*AR 
SAYS TWATwE A<€ 

All UNICORNS AMY WAY 


Do NOT PULL 
ON YELLOW TIP 


00030 


3. And though Omar did btd of the Collector of 
Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bit¬ 
ter, to surrender back the ctgar cox containing 
the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest 
Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one 
one rmght he smitten deaf, saying only: 'Gainst- 
the rules, u ' know. 

HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap. 2 



ANSWERS: 



1. Harry Houdini 

2. Swing music 

3. Pretzels 

4. 8 months 

5. Testy Culbert 

6. It protrudes 



7. No vocal cords. 



DISCARDED 




THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH 

\ 

The Initiate swears the following: 
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!! 


(*340® 

50 

dmts 

19 


(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of 
Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German: 

FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE / 

or perhaps 

WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!I!t 
which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.) 


1 cute uic uenuaiu 

"FOREIGN" 



TtieaectUT t*post THAT 

r4R.JV\OMQMPTO. enmoos 

WHO CM Su*U.oW 
i\vs <voye cAftfloT SWAuto*' 
Hii Mote 6 ot Hit ewnteRc 
has 8eeM ckposcoi it 

N|A.f40MO*i«T0 wQo CAM 
SwAUjOU> HIS Hose, MC 
SwAC^owfcP t|l5 KRoTH^R 
(M THS SOMMER op »»f4. 


Correction* to lost week’* copy: Johnny Sample is 
offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback 
as stated. Bobby Tolan’s nameis not Randy, but mud. All 
power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb. 


00031 


This Statement is False” 
(courtesy of POEE) 




NO TWO we 5AM£* 


THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 



The Discordian Society has no definition. 


I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris 
Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. 
Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our 
People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers 
"The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is- 
that-we-are." Lady Mai thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE 
THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You 
can think of it any way you like. 


AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 
is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own 
Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks 
for himself and for those that say that they like what 
he says. 


THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: 

A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not 
to create his own sect. 


If you want in on the Discordian Society 
then declare yourself what you wish 


do what you like 
and tell us about it 
or 

if you prefer 
don't. 

There are no rules anywhere. 
The Goddess Prevails. 


Some to fetes 

V\AVe a mU. 

Some work H>er. 
Sew* never cl c enfold**. 

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top 
of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go 
for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see 
you again! Helter skelter! 

—John Lennon 


jG*V 


•‘ey»e«6»qv r 


00032 


5 



THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS 


The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for 
The Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put 
"KSC" after their names. 


It says little, 
does less, 
means 
nothing. 


7 'rave i 


agent 


* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of 
those four singers. We thought of it first. 



£ 

ft r 

* * 

o U 1 

** m v 

wli 


< O W 
« I? 

u» f* 

? Ji 

«S* 


00033 



SEASONS 


1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Hung 

2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo 

3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti 

4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud 

5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Halaclypse 


DAYS OF THE WEEK* 

1) Sweetmom 

2) Boom time 

3) Pungenday 

4) Prickle-Prickle 

5) Setting Orange 

HOLYDAYS 

A] APOSTLE HOLYDAYS 

1) Mungday 

2) Mojoday 
31 Syaday 

4) Zaraday 

5) Maladay 

Each occurs on the Sth 
day of the Season 

C] ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs 
Inserted between the 
of Chaos 


*The DATS OF THE WEEK 
are named from the five 
Basic Elements: SWEET, 
BOOMPUNGENT, PRICKIE 
and ORANGE. 


B] SEASON HOLYDAYS 

1) Chaoflux 

2) Discoflux 

3) Confuflux 

4) Bureflux 

5) Afflux 

Each occurs on the 50th 
day of the Season 

once every 4 years (1+4*5) and Is 
59th and 60th days of the Season 



—y 




SM 

BT 

PD PP 

SO 








SM BT 

PD 

PP 

SO 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

Chs 

Jul 

5 

6 

7 

8 

9 

40 

41 

42 

43 44 Cfn 

6 

7 

8 

9 

10 

6 

7 

8 

9 

10 



10 

11 

12 

13 

14 

45 

46 

47 

48 49 

11 

12 

13 

14 

15 

11 

12 

13 

14 

15 



15 

16 

17 

18 

19 

50 

51 

52 

53 

54 

16 

17 

18 

19 

20 

16 

17 

18 

19 

20 



20 

21 

22 

23 

24 

55 

56 

57 

58 

59 

21 

22 

23 

24 

25 

21 

22 

23 

24 

25 



25 

26 

27 

28 

29 

60 

61 

62 

63 

64 

26 

27 

28 

29 

30 

26 

27 

28 

29 

30 



30 

31 

1 

2 

3 

65 

66 

67 

68 

69 

31 

1 

2 

3 

4 

31 

32 

33 

34 

35 


Aug 

4 

5 

6 

7 

8 

70 

71 

72 

73 

1 Bey 

5 

6 

7 

8 

9 

36 

37 

38 

39 

40 


9 

10 

11 

12 

13 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

10 

11 

12 

13 

14 

41 

42 

43 

44 

45 



14 

15 

16 

17 

18 

7 

8 

9 

10 

11 

15 

16 

17 

18 

19 

46 

47 

48 

49 

50 



19 20 21 

22 

23 

12 

13 

14 

15 

16 

20 21 

22 

23 

24 

51 

52 

53 

54 

55 



24 

25 

26 

27 

28 

17 

18 

19 

20 

21 

25 

26 

27 

28* 1 

56 

57 

58 

59 

60 



29 

30 

31 

1 

2 

22 

23 

24 

25 

26 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

61 

62 

63 

64 

65 


Sep 

3 

4 

5 

6 

7 

27 

28 29 

30 

31 

7 

6 

9 

10 

11 

66 

67 

68 

69 

70 


8 

9 

10 

11 

12 

32 

33 

34 35 

36 

12 

13 

14 

15 

16 

71 

72 

73 

1 

2 

Dsc 


13 

14 

15 

16 

17 

37 

38 

39 40 41 

17 

18 

19 

20 

21 

3 

4 

5 

6 

7 



18 

19 

20 

21 

22 

42 

43 

44 45 46 

22 

23 

24 

25 

26 

8 

9 

10 

11 

12 



23 

24 

25 

26 

27 

47 48 49 

50 

51 

27 

28 

29 

30 

31 

13 

14 

15 

16 

17 



28 

29 

30 

1 

2 

52 

53 

54 

55 

56 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

18 

19 

20 

21 

22 


Oct 

3 

4 

5 

6 

7 

57 

58 

59 60 61 

6 

7 

8 

9 

10 

23 

24 

25 

26 

27 



8 

9 

10 

11 

12 

62 

63 

64 

65 66 

11 

12 

13 

14 

15 

28 

29 

30 

31 

32 



13 

14 

15 

16 

17 

67 

68 69 

70 

71 

16 

17 

18 

19 

20 

33 

34 

35 

36 

37 



18 

19 

20 

21 

22 

72 

73 

1 

2 

3 Af Ja 

21 

22 

23 

24 

25 

38 

39 

40 

41 

42 



23 

24 

25 

26 

27 

4 

5 

6 

7 

8 

26 

27 

28 

29 

30 

43 44 45 

46 

47 



28 

29 

30 

31 

1 

9 

10 

11 

12 

13 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

48 49 

50 

51 

52 


Nov 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

14 

15 

16 

17 

18 

6 

7 

8 

9 

10 

53 

54 

55 

56 

57 



7 

8 

9 

10 

11 

19 

20 

21 

22 

23 

11 

12 

13 

14 

IS 

58 

59 

60 61 

62 



12 

13 

14 

15 

16 

24 

25 

26 

27 

28 

16 

17 

18 

19 

20 

63 

64 

65 

66 

67 



17 

18 

19 

20 

21 

29 

30 

31 

32 

33 

21 

22 

23 

24 

25 

68 

69 

70 

71 

72 



22 

23 

24 

25 

26 

34 

35 

36 

37 

38 

26 

27 

28 

29 

30 

73 

1 

2 

3 

4 Cfn 


27 

28 

29 

30 

1 

39 

40 

41 

42 

43 

31 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

7 

8 

9 


Dec 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

44 

45 

46 

47 

48 

5 

6 

7 

8 

9 

10 

11 

12 

13 

14 



7 

8 

9 

10 

11 

49 

50 

51 

52 

53 

10 

11 

12 

13 

14 

15 

16 

17 

18 

19 



12 

13 

14 

15 

16 

54 

55 

56 

57 

58 

15 

16 

17 

18 

19 

20 

21 

22 

23 

24 



17 

18 

19 

20 

21 

59 

60 

61 

62 

63 

20 

21 

22 

23 

24 

25 

26 

27 

28 

29 



22 

23 24 

25 

26 

64 

65 

66 

67 

68 

25 

26 

27 

28 

29 

30 

31 

32 

33 

34 



27 

28 

29 

30 

31 

69 

70 

71 

72 

73 

30 

1 

2 

3 

4 

35 

36 

37 

38 

39 


[1970 - 3136] 

[Next St 

Tibs Day in 3138] 




HOLY NAMES 


Discordians have a tradit¬ 
ion of assuming HOLY NAMES. 
This is not unique with 
Erisianism, of course. I 
suppose that Pope Paul is 
the son of Mr. & Mrs. VI? 

And also TITLES OF MYSTICAL 
IMPORT. 



U)hpev/€r S+ek Iro^r 

reborn >1. 


00035 




FOR YOUR 
ENLIGHTENMENT 


THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA 

by 

Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. 

POEE PRIESTj Okinawa Cabal 

When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, 
he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself 
with preparing the feast and in his endeyor, he found 
that there was some old tea in a pan left standing 
from the night before, when he had in his weakness 
forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping 
for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was 
Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it 
with water. And again in his weakness, chose without 
further consideration and plunged into the physical 
labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply 
immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden 
loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea 
that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but 
the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, 
previously established with the physical laboring and 
the muscle messages coordinated and unified or per¬ 
haps coded, continued to exert their influence and 
Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the 
voice. 

And again he plunged into the physical orgy and 
completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, 
the tea was bitter. 


00037 


"The Five Laws have root in awareness 0 " 
—Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) 


The Hell Lau eays that Hell is reserved exclus¬ 
ively for them that believe in it. Further, 
the louest Rung in Hell is reserved for them 
that believe in it on the supposition that 
they'll go there if they don’t. 

HBT ; The Gospel According to Fred t 3:1 



A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE 


One day Mai-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint 
Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her pres¬ 
ence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards 
the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female 
Voice said YES? 

"0! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of 
Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! 
0! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy 
burden from my heart!" 

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON 'T SOUND WELL. 

"I am filled with fear and tormented with ter¬ 
rible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting 
one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, 
whole societies plunder groups of their own people, 
mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers 
war. 0, woe." 

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAI, IF IT IS WHAT YOU 
WANT TO DO? 

"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it." 

OH. WELL, THEN STOP. 

At which moment She turned Herself into an asp¬ 
irin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded 
alone with his species. 


'DEXTEPv- itv 


CHAPTER 5:THE PIONEERS 


= THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE = 


1 . HUNG MUNG 

A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Mis¬ 
sionary to the Heathen Chinee. He who originally 
devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of The Season of 
Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5. 

2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO 

A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. 
D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater 
Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod 
Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of 
the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. 
Patron of The Season of 
Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. 

NOTE: Erisians of The 

Laughing Christ sect are 
of the silly contention 
that Dr. Mojo is an im¬ 
poster and that PATAMUNZO 
LINGANANDA is the True 
Second Apostle. Lord Omar 
claims that Dr. Mojo heaps 
hatred and curses upon 
Patamunzo, who sends only 

Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect 
know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that 
those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to 
subvert Dr. Mojo’s rightful apostilic authority by 
shaking him out of his wits. 

3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI 
SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVA- 
TAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA 
commonly called just SRI SYADASTI 



His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are 

00039 



- 2 - 


true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless 
in some sense> true and false in some sense, true and 
meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in 
some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some 
sense. He Is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the 
Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and 
the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type 
Discordians. Patron of The Season of Confusion. Holy- 
day: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confus¬ 
ed with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not the 
same person but is the same Apostle. 

4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called 
ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH 

A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe 
Bible Banger. Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Dis¬ 
covered the Five Commandments. Patron of The Season 
of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug 12. 

5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE 

A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med- 

—-Terra" or middle earth), who 

followed a 5-pointed Star through 
the alleys of Rome, Damascus, 
Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and 
Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed 
to read "DOOM". (This is a mis¬ 
understanding. The sign actually 
read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non- 
eloer malaclypse Prophet .) Patron and namesake of 

Mai-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. 

Holyday: Oct 24. 

00040 



All statements are true in some sense, 
false in some sense, meaningless in 
some sense, true and false in some 
sense, true and meaningless in some 
sense, false and meaningless in some 
sense, and true and false and 
meaningless in some sense. A public 
service clarification by the Sri Syadasti 
School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette. 


The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School 
of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some 
sense, false in some sense, meaningless 
in some sense, true and false in some 
sense, true and meaningless in some 
sense, false and meaningless in some 
sense, and true and false and 
meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo 
Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual 
Wisdom, Skokie. 



TOE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH 
being a BIBLE of The Erisimn Hovevent 

and How It was Revealed to 
Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose 
of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of 
The Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, 
Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch 


Pros The Honest Book of Truth 
THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter I jp 

1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our 
Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was burled an Honest Book. v*|p 

2. And the Angel of Erls bade of the Lord: Go ye henoe and dig the Truth , 
that ye may come to knew it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, 
wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying in the Truth, 
become a Poet of the Word and a Sager of Sayings—an Inspiration to all men 
and a Scribe to the Gods. 

3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Nullah, 
and thereupon he worked digging In the sand for five days and five nights, 
but found no Book. 

4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging. It came to pass that 
Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself 
down on the sand, using as a pillow a 6olden Chest he had uncovered on the 
first day of his labors. 

5. Omar slept. 

6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell Into a Trance, and 
there came to him In the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream 
a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a 
Golden Chest. 

7. And the Angel of Erls bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash, 
that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love 
in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a 
Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an Inspiration to all men and a 
Scribe to the Gods. 

8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit, man? What 
care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all 
men? Wherein does it profit a mm to be a Scribe to the Gods when the 
Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages? 

9. And, lo, the Angel waxed In anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by 
an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights. 

10. And It came to pass that on the fifth night he drempt, and In his Dream 
he had a Vision, and In this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our 
Lady who entrusted to him a Rlgoletto cigar box containing many filing 
cards, some of them In packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards 
were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written. 

11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded the Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of 
Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and lay 
it before Kings of Hations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto 
the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent. 




00042 


CONVENTIONAL CHAOS 


DO NOT 



GREYFACE 


In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by 
the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the 
universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach 
that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways 
of Serious Order. "Look at all the order about you," 
he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to 
believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and 
not the happy romance as men had known it. 

It is not presently understood why men were so gul¬ 
lible at that particular time, for absolutely no one 
thought to observe all the disorder around them and 
conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and 
his followers took the game of playing at life more 
seriously than they took life itself and were known 
even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life 
differed from their own. 

The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has 
since been suffering from a psychological and spirit¬ 
ual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and 
frustration causes fear. And fear makes a bad trip. 
Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. 


It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. 



map 


LIBRARY 

me ‘-iBRARr MAP 




Climb into the Chao with a friend or two 
And follow the Way it carries you. 

Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew 
Over the Waves in whatever you do. 

(HBT; The Book of Advice, 1:3) 


UlANfiAffiA 



NO TWO ELEMENTS INTERLOCK 
BUT ALL FIVE DO INTERLOCK 


00043 




MeAMJHllX, a*- “the Chinese ia^rviromat.. 



DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, “ COSMOLOGY 1 1 * 

THE BOOK OF UTERUS 
from The Honest Book of Truth 
revealed to Lord Omar 


-I- 


1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, 
balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull 
of the Hodge and the Podge. 

2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge 
began gradually to overpower the Podge—and the 
Primal Chaos thereby came to be. 

3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced 
on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpul1- 
push of the Podge and the Hodge. 

4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the 
Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything 
broke loose. 

5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, 
the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, to 
guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - 
that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order 
in the Region of Thud. 

6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord 
entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated 
with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord 
and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. 

7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and 
was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy 
Eris became established, and was hence called 
Discordia. 

8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment 
of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. 

9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. 

00044I'?' 



- 2 - 


10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment 
of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder 
in which calculation, computations, and reckonings 
were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance 
and Preparation for Return to Oblivion to be followed 
by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, 
of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrec¬ 
tion of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! 

11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, 
which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy- 
three Times, after which nothing would happen. 


* This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA 
III - HISTORY #6, “HISTORIC CYCLES," which states 
that social progress occurs in five cycles, the 
first three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS, 
ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and the last two ("The 
Bicycle") of which are CONSTERNATION and MORAL 
WARPTITUDE. 

** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if 
something does not happen then the exact opposite 
will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner 
from that in which it did not happen. 


NOTE: It is from this text from The Book of Uterus, 
that POEE has based its Erisian Calendar with the 
year divided into 5 Seasons of 73 days each. Each 
of the Five Apostles of Eris has patronage over one 
Season. A chart of the Seasons, Patrons, Days of 
the Week, tiolydays, and a perpetual Gregorian con¬ 
verter is included in this edition of Principia. 


Dull but Sincere Filler 

00045 



x 'And 1 beViofcl. l ‘H'H'sl»/ was+WeLau; -femi/la+ed: 
IMP0SIT«0<^ of Orjtrs « seal at; on e{ Disorder f “ 

THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("TfiEFF 
Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding 


The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by 
Greyface into his early disciples. They form the 
skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over emph¬ 
asizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to 
the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder. 
The Orders are composed of persons all hung up on 
authority, security and control; i.e., they are blind¬ 
ed by the Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that 
they belong to Orders of Discordia. But we know. 



1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE 
SIDED TEMPLE . This is for all of the soldiers and 
bureaucrats of the world. 

2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR MAR ON 
EVIL. This is reserved for lawmakers, censors, and 
TTRe ilk. 

3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP . 
They commonly inhabit schools and universities, and 
dominate many of them. 

4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE 
FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS . This is mostly a grass-roots 
version of the more professional military, political, 
academic and sacred Orders. 

5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE . 

Not much is known about the D.L., but they are very 
ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface 
himself. It is known that they now have absolute dom¬ 
ination over all organized churches in the world. It 
is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages 
and passing them off as human beings. 


a 


Don’t let 

THEM 


immanentize 
the 
Eschaton 


A person belonging to one or more Order 
is just as likely to carry a flag of the 
counter-establishment as the flag of the 
establishment—just as long as it is 

HtP-2-3-*,rt IP-2-3** 
co to LepT-*iGrtr.... {1 



0004 ? 


THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS 
ON NORBERT WEINER , NUCLEAR PHYSICIST 


The second concept Wiener has to establish is that 
of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, 
coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. 

It is the assertion--established logically and exper¬ 
imentally—that the universe, by its nature, is "run¬ 
ning down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity 
devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation. 

That is, in any given situation, less organization, 
more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than 
tighter organization or more order. 

The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated 
systems is expressed in the second law of thermo- 
dayamics—perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral 
formulation in all human thought. 

It applies however, to a closed system, to some¬ 
thing that is an isolated whole, not just a part. 
Within such systems there may be parts, which draw 
their energy from the whole, that are moving at least 
temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order 
is increasing and chaos is diminishing. 

The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed 
to the main current are called "enclaves". And one 
of them is life, especially human life, which in a 
universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves to¬ 
ward increased order. 


Personal 


LpLAnItTARY Pi, which 4 discovered, 
is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship 
existing between sun and inner plants 
and I use it in arriving at many facts 
unknown to science. For example, 
multiply nude earth's circumference 
24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the 
distance ofwmoon's orbit around the 
earth. This is slightly less than 
actual distance because we have not 
vet considered earth's atmosphere. So 
be It. Cl iB Ne h er Garth, E vanston. 


IFTHETELfcPtfoNE 
TODAY - • 

vOATFft »T . 

rt.Y.C. Caba\ 


I SHOULD HAVE BEES A PLUMBER." 

--Albert Einstevn 


te QfU&m>?P£R ALWAYS 

moNG IN ARGUMENT WITH 
CHICKEM M -BMffcw 

*** u V.rvtiu cmfiled *i O.P.O. sect 

= ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT = 

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a 
young Priest, and took great delight in 
making fools of his opponents in front of 
his followers. 

One day Zarathud took his students to a 
pleasant pasture and there he confronted 
The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly 
grazing. 

"Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the 
Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't 
you do something worthwhile. What Is your 
Purpose in Life, anyway?" 

Munching the tasty grass. The Sacred Chao 
replied "MU".* 

Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was 
enlightened. Primarily because nobody 
could understand Chinese. 


* "MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING. 


tao pa 
tsu-danI 



piMD PEACt 
witA & 
COMTE MTeD 
criAO 


00048 




THE SACRED CHAO 




The SACRED CHAO is the key to illumin¬ 
ation. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung 
in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by 
the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The 
Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It 
is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of 
a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON 
which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead 
of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the 
GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC 
PRINCIPLE. 


The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything any¬ 
one need ever know about absolutely anything, and 
morel It even symbolizes everything not worth know¬ 
ing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the 
Hodge-Podge. 

HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. 

If you are not hot for philosophy, best just skip it. 

The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; 
the Eristic Principle ia that of APPARENT DISORDER. 
Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are 
artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level 
deeper than is the level of distinction making. 

With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we 
look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which 
our cultures give us. The ideas-about-reality are 
mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people 
are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, 
especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. 
It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ. 

Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper than 
is the level of concept. 

We look at the world through windows on which have 
been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies 
use different grids. A culture is a group of people 

00049 


with rather similar grids. Through a window we view y 
chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and 
thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. 

That is the Aneristia Principle. 

Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with 
contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending 
grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will 
account for all reality and will, hence, (say unen¬ 
lightened westerners) be True. This is illusory ; it 
is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. 

Some grids can be more useful than others, some more 
beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, 
etc., but none can be more True than any other. 

DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed 
through some particular grid. But, like "relation", 
no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an 
idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "essence of 
female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition 
and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept 
of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. 

The belief that "order is true" and disorder is 
false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristia Illusion. 

To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. 

The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of 
definition relative to the grid one is using at the 
moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical re¬ 
ality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, 
and through it some chaos appears ordered and some 
appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same 
chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered. 

Reality is the original Rorschach. 


Verily! So much for all that. 




- 3 - 


The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The 
Golden Apple of Discordia , which represents the Eris¬ 
tic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, 
"KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and 
refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the 
Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, 
and thought it to be a negative principle. 

The Pentagon represents the Aneristic 
Principle of Order and symbolizes the 
HODGE. The Pentagon has several ref¬ 
erences; for one, it can be taken to 
represent geometry, one of the earliest 
studies of formal order to reach elab¬ 
orate development;* for another, it 
accords with THE LAW OF FIVES. 

THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. 

Patamunzo Lingananda 

It also is the shape of the United States Military 
Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant 
manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a 
firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into 
dazzeling disorder; and this building is one of our 
more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens 
that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the 
generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is 
not particularly intended and it should be noted that 
the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against 
werewolves--our membership roster is open to persons 
of all races, national origins and hobbies. 



specifically 


* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS , however, was not 
a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call 
an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him 
Archangle Pythagoras. 


00031 




28 DAY RECORDING 

5 . Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, 
and shook his head, saying, "I do not know! I 
do not know!" 


HBT; The Book of Cooks, Chap. 1 


00052 






BRUNSWICK SHRINE 


In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a 
bowling alley, and within this very place, in the 
Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris reveal¬ 
ed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first 
time. 

In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is 
revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five 
years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to 
Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein 
to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit 
about It All. 

It is written that when The Corps returns to The 
Shrine for the fifth time five times over, then shall 
the world come to an end: 

IMPENDING DOOM 
HAS ARRIVED 

And Five Days Prior to This Occasion 
The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall 
Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a 
Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: 

"DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom 
to All Men Impending. And He Shall Sig¬ 
nal This Event by Seeking the Poor and 
Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS 
and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region 
of Thud for These Five Days. 

As a public service to all mankind and civilization 
in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Ap¬ 
ple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pil¬ 
grimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to 
never get around to actually going. ^ i Q 

_ Quiet uigW S / 

* Or maybe it was 1958 t I forget. 


00053 



STARBUCK'S PEBBLES 


O 

P o 

o o 



Do these 5 pebbles really form a pentagon? 

Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. 
Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. 
Criss-cross them and it is a star. 

An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does 
not insist that any one is really true, or that none 
at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder 
are all his own creations and he may do with them as 
he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5. 

The real reality is there, but 
everything you KNOW about "it" 
is in your mind and yours to do 
with as you like. Conceptual¬ 
ization is art, and YOU ARE THE 
ARTIST. 

Convictions cause convicts. 


Can you chart 

the COURSE 
to 

Captain 

Valentine's 

SWEETHEART? 


HEMLOCK ? 

I NEVER TOUCH 
THE STUFF/ 


When I was 8 or 9 years old, I 
acquired a split beaver magazine. 
You can imagine my disappointment 
when, upon examination of the 
photos with a microscope, I 
found that all I could see 
was dots. 


00054 

7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed. 




ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 312.5 YEARS 


Pun-fob it Sikh, Sikh, 
Sikh! 


TMI PARAIHIO-ANAMITAMYSlIKHOOD Of IRIf 1S011RIC (POEE) 
A Naa-praphat lr ra 11 f lou . 0 I . o r g on I , a 11 „ „ 


®MA(£iCt!tIg>iE tiff flmmgrr, K8<£ 

Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity InOold 
-HIGH PRIEST ^- 


THE KRISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OP ERIS 

*1 Official Buclnacc ( ) ..In... 1 1 . 

Official Dlicardlan Oacumanf Number ( il applicant• I : n/ft 

I | Tka Oalfan AppU (ar M * * Hawaa of OUcIpla* af DUcorBlo. Tha luraavcracy, luraau af I DOGMAS 

( I Council af lplibapa»a»; Offlca of Hl a K Nrlacthood, fact of tha ROM I ) Drawar O 


TadAy'c OATH [Jay Q f j he Carrot Yaatarday , » OATI: yes V J 

Ofif inatinf cab a \ : J0SHUA NORTON CABAL - San Francisco ’ A 

TOi REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation 


Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference 
to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some 
observations of my own. 

ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, 
which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer m use. 

From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) 
in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. 

Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; 
whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a 
rise from the male population). I figure it to be this m particular because 
MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of 
great respect, similar to SIRE. 

And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery 
of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125 years. 

FIVE TONS OF FLAX I 




la ALL HAIL DISCORDIA 


for 


DOC I 


ODD Jb/ii l 370. 


11)4 







DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY" 

which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus) 



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00056 


And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought 
forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her 
own. (And to this day , things appear and disappear in this very manner.) 



At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in 
every whicjr way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of them 
just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and for the 
next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped some 


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00057 


had created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had neglected the 
spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state 
of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother 
to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all. 



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00058 


£gertffV.^ t * 5 permissible ! 



APOSTLE SRI SYADASTI 


"There is 

Serenity 
in Chaos. 

Seek, ye 
the e*e 
of th e 
Hurricane. 


A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT 
Written, in some sense, by Mai-2 

Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. 

This particular one is much enhanced by the use of 
a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all 
participants chanting the English. It also behooves 
one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting 
in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. 
It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of 
his gourd. 

RUB-A-DUB-DUB 

01 Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. 

SYA-DASTI 

0! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. 

SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA 

0! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. 

SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI 

01 Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mai. 

SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA 
01 Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik. 

SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA 
01 Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia. 

RUB-A-DUB-DUB 

It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first 
two thousand miles, which ever comes first. 

00059 




THE CLASSIFICATION OF SAINTS 


00060 


1. SAINT SECOND CLASS 

To be reserved for all human beings deserving of 
Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor 
of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his 
grave near San Francisco is an official POEE Shrine.) 

THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR 
FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO , NOT BEING ACTUAL , ARE MORE 
CAPABLE OF PERFECTION. 

2. LANCE SAINT 

Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. 

Example: St. Yossarian ( Catch 22 , Heller) 

3. LIEUTENANT SAINT 

Excellent Goddess-saturated Saint. 

Example: St. Quixote ( Don Quixote , Cervantes) 

4. BRIGADIER SAINT 

Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established 
following (fictional or factual). 

Example: St. Bokonon ( Cat's Cradle , Vonnegut) 

5. FIVE STAR SAINT 

The Five Apostles of Eris. 


NOTE: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree 
with each other about Saints. 


£vet\)bo<)w understands Mickey Mouse. 

understand Herman Hesse. Only a Hand full 
understood Albert £inste|n. (And nobody 

understood Emperor Niorton. 

— Slogan of 


NORTON CP&AL-5.F. 



Tests By Doctors Prove 
It Possible To Shrink 


= ON OCCULTISM « 


Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the 
Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness 
through the assimilation and control of universal 
opposites—good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, 
etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritual¬ 
ism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, 
occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the 
two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane 
opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS. 


Magicians, and their progeny the scientists, have 
always taken themselves and their subject in an 
orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an 
essential metaphysical balance. When magicians 
learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art in¬ 
stead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate 
the absurdity of man's endeavours, then they will be 
able to persue their art with a lighter heart, and 
perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and 
therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY. 


This is an essential challange to 
the basic concepts of all western 
occult thought, and POEE is hum¬ 
bly pleased to offer the first 
major breakthrough in occult¬ 
ism since Solomon. 


'oQ , 
-3 < 


V 


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2 

va* 


-6'o.x s § 

* r i 1 m 

3^u fo * 


00061 




POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM 


00062 


1) On your next birthday, return to the place of 
your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your 
birth time and date of observation, count all 
visible stars. 

2) When you have done this, write to me and I'll 
tell you what to do next. 


The theorem to be proved is that if 
any even number of people take seats at 
random around a circular table bearing 
place cards with their names, it is al¬ 
ways possible to rotate the table until 
at least two people are opposite their 
cards. Assume the contrary. Let n be 
the even number of persons, and let 
their names be replaced by the integers 
0 to n — 1 “in such a way that the place 
cards are numbered in sequence around 
the table. If a delegate d originally sits 
down to a place card p, then fV >e table 
must be rotated r steps before he is cor¬ 
rectly seated, where r = p — d, unless 
this is negative, in which case r — 
p — d + n. The collection of values of 
d (and of p) for all delegates is clearly 
the integers 0 to n — 1, each taken once, 
but so also is the collection of values of 
r, or else two delegates would be cor¬ 
rectly seated at the same time. Sum¬ 
ming the above equations, one for each 
delegate, gives S — S + nk , where k is 
an integer and S = n(n — l)/2, the sum 
of the integers from 0 to n — 1. It fol¬ 
lows that n = 2k T* 1, an odd number.” 
This contradicts the original assump¬ 
tion. 

“I actually solved this problem some 
years ago,” Rybicki writes, “for a differ¬ 
ent but completely equivalent problem, 
a generalization of the nonattacking 
‘eight queens’ problem for a cylindri¬ 
cal chessboard where diagonal attack 
is restricted to diagonals slanting in one 
direction only. 


Look foRTMS 

SMOWflakE - IT 
HAS 





THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE 
INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM 


To choose order over disorder, or disorder over 
order, is to accept a trip composed of both the cre¬ 
ative and the destructive. But to choose the creative 
over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed 
of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one 
need only accept creative disorder along with, and 
equal to, creative order, and also be willing to re¬ 
ject destructive order as an undesirable equal to de¬ 
structive disorder. 


The Curse of Greyface included the division of 
life into order/disorder as the essential positive/ 
negative polarity, instead of building a game found¬ 
ation with creative/destructive as the essential 
positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to en¬ 
dure the destructive aspects of order and has prevent¬ 
ed man from effectively participating in the creative 
uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfor¬ 
tunate division. _ „ „ _ 

ORDER. DISORDER 



POEE proclaims that the other 
division is preferable, and we work 
toward the proposition that creative 
disorder, like creative order, is 
possible and desirable; and that de¬ 
structive order, like destructive 
disorder, is unnecessary and unde¬ 
sirable. 

Seek the Sacred Chao - therein 
you will find the foolishness of all 
ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same! 



e 




O 1 


? 

o o 

/WWVN 



00063 




ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE 


Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific 
counter to the evil Curse of Greyface, The TURKEY CURSE 
is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just 
protection. 

The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the 
fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require 
an aneristic setting to function and that a timely in¬ 
troduction of ejristic vibrations will neutralize their 
foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to 
counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced 
into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a 
poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, 
or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for 
use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be 
used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes 
into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, 
it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician 
to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are 
to be achieved. CAUTION - all magic is powerful and 
requires courage and integrity on the part of the ma¬ 
gician. This ritual , if misused, can backfire. Pos¬ 
itive motivation is essential for self-protection. 

TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: 

Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan 
preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular grey¬ 
face you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direct¬ 
ion of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish 
to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate 
manner and make motions with your hands as though you 
were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, 
loudly and clearly: 

GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE: 

The results will be instantly apparent. 



A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar 


The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when 
confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is 
what you call starting an argument by asking questions. 
You approach the innocent and simpy ask "Did you know 
that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If 
he should answer "Yes." then he is probably a fellow 
Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." 
then quickly proceed to: 

THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He is_ a girl, 
and His name is ERIS !" Shrewedly observe if the sub¬ 
ject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the 
Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. 

If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: 

THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is 
lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you 
don't have Faith." And then add: 

THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask 
"Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" 

If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely 
be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distrib¬ 
uted to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would 
be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly 
and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: 

THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all 
of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim 
"Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise 
guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." 
then quickly respond with: 

THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say 
that he is absolutely right, and that those imperson¬ 
al forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If 
he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then 
finally resort to: 

THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that 
sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris 
is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical 
Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more 
like a poem than like a science and that he is liable 
to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distrib¬ 
uted to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not 
get hip. Then put him on your mailing list. 

00065 



00066 



by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS 


SINK is played by simpjoosia and people of much ilk. 

PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing... 
in water or mud or anything you; can sink something 

in. 

RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, 
ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink 
a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of 
water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers - 
bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used. 

TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up 
and in the air first. 

DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing 
"SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once; one 
object is sunk. 

UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or 
something equally as thoughtful. 

NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The 
object is named by the finder of such object and 
whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk 
Columbus, Ohio." 

•?’|v 99VDQ id ^90*3? UV3Q fvsxyH 

.3Hi jo 'goJ-'&viQ QNiNivyj. 'svwhjcj rvmwn'v xvyv- 

r ,'fcr&<0 do ONI> v 3M.3M V (V£ % 



A JOINT EFFORT OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 

Post Office Liberation Front 


THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. 


export license 

mot required 


WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE 
THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS] 

In the meantime - plant your seeds. 

If a lot of people who receive this letter plant 
a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, 
then a lot of seeds will get planted. 

Plant you seeds. 

In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote 
places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or 
start a plantation in your closet (but read up on 
it first for that). For casual planting, its 
best to soak them in water for a day and plant in 
a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't 
worry much about weather, they know when the weather 
is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't 
soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very 
hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and 
flourish. But some of them need people's help to 
get started. Plant your seeds. 

Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) 
and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail 
to different cities and states, even different 
countries. If you would rather not, then please 
pass this copy on to someone and perhaps they 
would like to. 


THERE IS NO TRUTH 

to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter 
then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and 
outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, 
from your seed's point of view. 

00067 



Holy- -MUNDANE 


Q. "How come a woodpecker doesn’t bash its 
UUUbO brains out?” A. Nobody has ever explained that. 



fKliTfC AVCRtST'C *»5C. S9 COLUMN 

l |1A IB 1C ID IE a~— 

£A 26 2C 2D 2E 

3A 3B 3C 3D 3E 

4A 4B 4C 4D 4& 

5A 36 3C 5D % —— 




you every herb bearing seed, which is 
upon the face of the earth ... to you 
it shall be for meat.” 


—Genesis 1:29 




Questions 


Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the 
unit on “Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs’' that he enjoyed. 
Name some causes of disturbance in your school. 


CUTED 


00069 


Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS 
—Lord Omar 


1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear—and, 
behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM! 

2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now 
complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to 
fight alone. 

3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye 
dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye 
wax sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and 

sink holes. 

4. 0 how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the 
other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what 

ye have wroughten? 

5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister 
Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together 
in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tri¬ 
bulation as have yer baseless warnings. 

D€5PlTt strong evidence contrary, pers.ito^t 

rumor has it+hSr was fW. /rtiPn.omoTo'j braThe.*- 
wHo flflr. fOom««icto <rf 



Advertisement 



«K£- 


"ILLUMINATE 
THE OPPOSITION!" 

--Adam Weishaupt, 
Grand Primus Illuminatus 


00070 









INTER-OFFICE PRIVATE WIRE SENT 


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HERE \S A LETTER ROVA MS.8. TO POEE 



FROM: MAD M ALIK Hauptscheiasmeiater 


Dear Brother Mal-2, 

In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted m the 
new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please stop 
bothering us with your incessant letters! 

Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you are 
welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been fully 
established m Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who 
ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. 
Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after 
Conan became King of Aquiloma. First brought to the western hemisphere by 
Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 

8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred m his infamous A1 Azif , circa 
800 A.D. (AlAzif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormus, 1132 A.D., as The 
Necronomicon .) Tn 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Isaaelian Sect (Hashishim) 
by llassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. 
Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. 
He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during 
the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was 
the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson m the 
garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands 
of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in 
the United States. 

Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication. No 
harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in Joyce's 
Finncgarfs Wake , Burroughs Nova Express , the King James translation of The Holy 
Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book . Not to speak of 
ben Franklin's private papers (1), but we are still supressmg those. 

Considering current developments--you know the ones I speak of--it has been 
decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your publication is 
timely, so mention that m addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Roth- 
child Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have significant control of 
the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is 
still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, 
the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus 
Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Died For You Society and the 
Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that 
we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic 
control was generally complete several generations ego and that we are just 
playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently 
for phase five. 

Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavana 
— < £iscnrbian J&mrly— 





MALIK to Mai-2 


Pg- 2 


In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax : "Since 
the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined, behind-the-scenes 
under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force--worshippers of Mason 
--whose undying purpose is world control through the control of Money. July 1, 
1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent 
raised its head m the under-ground secret society known as The Illuminati, 
founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence to prove 
all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source." 
Etc., etc., you know the stuff. 

The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearly exposed; 
and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a dragl). If you 
want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath 
Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are 
some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any 
comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of 
the Pentagon site. 

Oh, and we have some good news for you. Brother Mai I You know that Zambian 
cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated the FBI 
computers with the Zurich System and our theonticians are in ecstasy over the 
new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing 
yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. 

After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. 

But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren. Mall If civil¬ 
ization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of 
authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope 
I'm alive to see it, Mai, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years_1 

Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Pnncipia. 

Ewige Blumenkraftl HAIL ERIS. 


Love 



PS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia. 

We are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications. 
Herewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5. 



Part Five 


The 
Golden 
Secret 

NONSENSE AS SALVATION 


The human race will begin solving it's problems on 
the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously. 

To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of 
NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and 
barbarous existence that is the result of taking 
order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary 
orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more 
important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS 
THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES. 

To this end, we propose that man develop his innate 
love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. 

And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby 
CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. 

If you can master nonsense as well as you have 
already learned to master sense, then each will 
expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From 
that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free 
regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free 
to play order games and change them at will. He 
becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell 
of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And 
as the master of his own games, he plays without 
fear, and therefore without frustration, and there¬ 
fore with good will in his soul and love in his being. 

And when men become free then mankind will 
May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. 

May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. 

May you have the knowledge of a sage, 
and the wisdom of a child. 

Hail Eris. 


free. 


t t ai 



00074 



THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA 


00075 


£ 



This being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San 
Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 
500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; 
which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies 
from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision 
Of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS 
LOST published in New Orleans in 1965 in 
five copies, which were mostly lost. 



® ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like 


Published by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco 

"ON THE FUTURE SITE OF BEAUTIFUL 
SAN ANDREAS CANYON" 


OFFICE OF MY HIGH REVERENCE 
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER KSC 
OPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE 


THE LAST WORD 



The foregoing document was revealed to Mai-2 by the 
Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her 
within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be 
the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to 
state that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing 
to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are 
sometimes told quite different things in their 
Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess. 
Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other 
than POEE, then none of these Truths are binding, 
and it is a rotten shame that you have read all 
the way down to the very last 

uord - a KT l' W ' 

}.eAGG£ -¦ 



DISCORDIAN SOCIETY 

DEDICATED TO AN ADVANCED 
UNDERSTANDING OF THE PARAPHYSICAL 
MANIFESTATIONS OF EVERYDAY CHAOS 


DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND? 



Well, probably you do have one, and 
it's unfortunate because lopsided 
Pineal Glands have perverted the 
Free Spirit of Man, and subverted 
Life into a frustrating, unhappy 
and hopeless mess. 

Fortunately, you have before you a 
handbook that will show you how to 
discover your salvation through 
ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION. 

It will advise you how to balance 
your Pineal Gland and reach spirit¬ 
ual Illumination. And it will teach 
you how to turn your miserable mess 
into a beautiful, joyful, and 
splendid one. 



ALL HAIL DISCORDIA 
POEE 


POEE is a bridge 
jetn* PISCES 
-To AtfU/WV S /ws 


G/s o/a <rO c^s> C-/o 
























SPECIAL AFTERWORD 

to the Loompanics Edition of Pri ncipia Discordi a 
G.H. Hill, San Francisco, 1979 
All Rites Reversed (k) Reprint What You Like 


INTERVIEW WITH NORTON CABAL 


by Gypsie Skripto, Special Correspondent 


It has been ten years since I met the mysterious 
Malaclypse the Younger. I was free lancing for the 
underground papers and went by POEE Head Temple at 555 
Battery Street to try for an interview. 

I found him in the Temple PO Box busy wrapping up the 
new Fourth Edition of P rin cipia. He seemed impatient with 
me, insisting that he didn't have the time or inclination 
for foolish questions from reporters. Undaunted, I burst 
out with questions like whether he preferred Panama Red or 
Acapulco Gold and how the fuck did we manage to fit inside 
of a tiny post office box and other things apropos a naive 
young semiliterate dropout hippy writer. He asked me if I 
wanted to drop mescaline and fuck all night and said he knew 
how to turn himself into a unicorn and there might be room 
for a tiny interview on the cover of the Principia if I 
wanted to work for the Greater Poop so I said sure, OK, I've 
never dropped mescaline in a post office box before. 

It turned out I was among the last to see Malaclypse. 
As subsequent issues of Greater Poop revealed, he was to 
disappear and POEE business was to be assumed by his 
students at Norton Cabal. Professor Ignotum P. Ignotius, 
Department of Comparative Realities, was assigned the Trust 
of the POEE Scruple and Rev. Dr. Occupant became Keeper of 
the Box. The newly published copies of Prin c ipia were 
distributed by Mad Malik, Block Disorganizer, who had 
distribution contacts with the Aluminum Bavariati. 
Practical relations remained in the hands of concept artist 
G. Hill. 

When the 1000 Pri ncipias were gone the Grea ter Poop 
stopped publishing. Head Temple closed down and the Cabal 
just seemed to evaporate. Finally even the box was closed. 
But over the years I noticed that copies were still 
circulating, and that independent Discordian Cabals would 
occasionally pop out of nowhere (and still do). And I would 
wonder what ever happened to Malaclypse. 

When I read the Illuminatus trilogy I resolved to again 
find and interview the denizens of Joshua Norton Cabal of 
the Discordian Society. 


79/11/26 


-1- 


Loompanics 



NORTON CABAL INTERVIEW 


G. Skripto 


As I cabled over Nob to San Francisco's Station "O' Post 
Office I couldn't help but wonder at Goddess' hand in 
assigning street addresses to Her outposts. Mais had told 
me that Good Lord Omar always filed everything under "0" for 
Out Of File . 

"Maya is marvelous" I was thinking when I rapped on the 
little metal door and was greeted warmly by a huge beard who 
introduced himself as Professor Ignotius. He ushered me 
into a spacious wood paneled and tapestry hung parlor where 
three others were laughing and passing around a wine jug. 

The sunny one m a tunic was the Reverend Doctor Occupant, 
the trim khaki and jeans was Mad Malik and the wine jug 
claimed to be Hill. I got the recorder on.... 


3YPSIE SKRIPTO [in response to a question]: ...1969 but 
only briefly. I guess I missed you guys. 

MAD MALIK: No wonder, he was pretty much a one man show 

then. We were just his students and were usually off on 
errands. You worked for the Poop ? 

Gypsie: Well, for one night anyway. The interview is in 

the Princi pia. 

REV. DR. OCCUPANT: Malik was the only one he would ever let 
write for the Poop or get on the letterhead. 

Gypsie: Did you [Malik] have higher authority than the 

others? 

Malik: No, [but 1 was allowed to speak in the Poop 1 

Decause [Malaclypse the Younger] hated politics. He was 
infuriated with Johnson and Nixon over Viet Nam because 
it was turning the renaissance into a political 
revolution and was stealing his sacred thunder. So he 
trained me in Zenarchy, which he learned from Omar, and 
I was the official anarcho-pacifist for the Cabal. Also 
I was liaison to The Ancient Illuminated Seers of 
Bavaria, the Chicago Discordians. Later Omar activated 
the Hung Mung Cong Tong and ELF, on zenarchist 
principles, and also Operation Mindfuck. I was also 
into those. Though at that time I was masquerading in 
Greater Poop as a cremated cabbage to throw off the FBI. 

Gypsie [to Hill]: Since you wrote it, I take it you are an 
anarchist? 


79/11/26 


-2- 


Loompanics 


G. Skripto 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIW 


G-H. HILL: Since then I have given up anarchy. Too many 
rules—hating the government and all that stuff. 

IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS: It*s like hating your own fantasies. 

Malik: [Anarchy] is also standing up and proceeding 

forward, fantasy rule or not. The condition is the 
same. 

Occupant: Brother needs some wine! 

Malik: We have had this argument before. Reverend Doctor 

Brother. But wine before platitudes, fill it up. 

Gypsie [to Hill]: And pacifism? 

Hill: I'm not sure I ever was one. Mai 2 was not, Malik 

was. Personally I accepted self defense yet I could 
never reconcile that with the ideal. I finally gave up 
on that one too. Actually I just gave up on idealism. 

Ignotius: Idealism lives with rules. Realism lives with 

rocks. 

Hill: Yeah. I get along better with rocks. 

Malik: Mai 2 once told me that pacifism was a dilemma. 

If everybody was a pacifist then everything would be 
perfect. But nobody is going to be a pacifist unless I 
am first. But if I am and somebody else is not, then I 
get screwed. He said that there were five choices under 
that circumstance. The first was napaiming farmers and 
the second was executing your parents. The third was 
hypocrisy, the fourth was cowardice, and the fifth was 
to swallow the dilemma. Zenarchists are trained in 
dilemma swallowing. 

Occupant: So are other Erisians, like POEE. 

Ignotius: That is characteristic of the Discordian 

perspective. 

Hill: But of course training contradicts Discordian 

principles. 

Malik: Oh so what. Contradictions are nothing to 

Discordians. 

Occupant: Dilemma, Schlimemma. [to Gypsie]: What do you 
think of this, pretty ma'am? We don't get to hear your 
thoughts. 

Gypsie: I'm reporting now, you talk. 

Occupant: Later then? 


79/11/26 


-3- 


Loompanics 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIEW 


G. Skripto 


Gypsie: Perhaps. Later. 

Occupant: You are smiling. 

Gypsie: Hey, guy, later. [to Hill]: Doesn't this leave 


you a 

little schizy? 



Hill: 

It's OK, I'm half Gemini. 


Gypsie: 

What's the other half? 



Hill: 

Taurus. That makes me 

stubborn schizy. 

Ignotius: 

I'm a Whale. 



Occupant: 

I choose Satyr. 



Malik: 

Spirits don't have signs. 


Hill: 

A character can have a 

sign 

if I want it so. 

Occupant: 

Well I can have a sign 

if I 

want to and screw 

both i 

of you. 




Malik: Come on Greg, you just think that we are your 

characters.... 

Occupant: You were inhabited by Maladypse the Younger. He 

caused you to create roles and those roles are being 
performed by us spirits. 

Ignotius: A perfectly normal pagan relationship. 

Hill: Well you can look at it like that if you want to, 

but I created Maiz to my specifications just as I 
conceived all the rest of you. 

Occupant: You didn't invent Eris. She caused you to think 

you created the spirit of Malaclypse. 

Hill: Oh bull! Besides, I changed her so much the 

Greeks would never recognize her. 

Occupant: That's what She wanted! 

Ignotius: Deities change things around all the time. 

Malik: What you don't realize is that a spirit has a 

self identity. 

Hill: Nope. A spirit is a product of definition and 

the one who is doing the defining around here is me. 

Your identity is what I say it is. Just to prove it, 

I'm going to change your name. 


79/11/26 


Loompanics 




S. Skripto 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIW 


SINISTER DEXTER: It•s OK with me. Fate is fate. I never 
much liked "Mad Malik" anyway. 

Ignotius: Besides people confused him with Joe Malik in 

Illuminatus. 


Dexter: I sort of enjoyed the confusion part. 


Occupant: Doesn't prove anything anyway. 

Sypsie: That name sounds familiar. Where is it from? 

Hill: Its a name I came up with in the old days and 

never used much. Its on page 38 of the Prin c ipi a 
referring to Vice President Spiro Agnew. I always 
thought I invented it but now it sounds like a Stan 
Freberg name now that I think about it. It may have 
stuck in my preconscious memory from early TV. 


Sypsie: Can you use it without his permission? 


Hill: If it is his? I don't know. I hope so. It 

means "left right" in Latin and is a perfect name for a 
libertarian anarchist. Actually in my kind of art the 
question of what can I use freely and what can I not is 
a very trickly problem- 


Sypsie: How do you mean? 

Hill: Well, take a collage for example. Like the early 

one on page 36 of the Pr incipia . Each little piece was 
extracted from some larger work created by some other 
artist and published and maybe copyrighted. I find them 
in newspapers and magazines mostly. Often from ads. 

With a collage you select and extract from your 
environment and then assemble into an original 
relationship. 

The Principia itself is a collage. A conceptual 
collage. All of it happens simultaneously. But 
visually it is a montage, passing through time, like a 
book does. 


There is a lot of pirated stuff in the Principia , 
especially in the margins. But also I sympathize with 
artists who must own and sell their works to earn a 
living. Art, like knowledge, should be free fodder for 
everyone. But it isn't. It is perplexing. 

Sypsie: Where did all the things in Principia come from? 

Hill: Well, a full answer would take a whole book in 

itself. Most of the writing credited to a name is a 
true person and almost always a different name means a 
different person. Most of the non-credited, you know. 


79/11/26 


-5- 


Loompanics 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIEW 


G. Skripto 


Malaclypse, text is mine although some things credited 
to either Mai* or Omar were actually co-written and 
passed back and forth and rewritten by each of us. The 
marginalia, dingbats and pasted in titles and heads and 
things came from wherever I found them—some of which is 
original but uncredited Discordian output, like the page 
head on 12 and other pages which is from a series of 
satiric memo pads from Our Peoples Underworld Cabal. 

All page layout is mine and some whole graphics like the 
Sacred Chao and the Hodge Podge Transformer are mine but 
mostly I just found stuff and integrated it. Mostly I 
did concept, say 50% of the writing, 10% of the 
graphics, all of the layout. 

Gypsie: Specifically, what are some of the sources? 

Hill: Well, the poem on the front cover is by Walt 

Kelly and was spoken by one of his characters in Pogo . 
The government seals starting on page 1 are from a book 
of sample seals from the U.S. Government Printing 
Office. Western Union on page 6 got into the act 
because I used to be a teletype operator and had access 
to blank forms. Rubber stamps came from all over the 
place and some, like the apple on page 27, I carved 
myself. A few I ordered to my specification, like on 
page 1. The quote on top of page 8 might be from 
Barnum, I'm not sure. The jumping man on page 12 is 
from an advertisement. I recognize the style—a popular 
commercial artist—but I don't know his name. The 
Chinese on that page is a grocery ad, I think. The 
Norton money on page 14 is historic, plus my little 
additions. The apple on page 17, as well as the 
triangle on 23 and the Sacred Chao on 50 are, belive it 
or not, pasteups from mimeographs , from Seattle Cabal. 
That group produced the best damn mimeography I've ever 
seen. The Lick Here Box on page 23 is one of many 
tidbits making the rounds in alternative/underground 
newspapers in those days. Trip 5 page header on 29 was 
a chapter title in one of Tim Leary's books. The Knight 
on the bull with the TV antenna on his helmet on page 46 
came from a very artistic magazine called Horses hit and 
put out by two brothers from Long Beach. I don't 
remember their names. Wonderful magazine. 

Occupant: Eris told Mai 2 what to use and where to find it. 

Hill: Yeah, in a way that is right. That is why my 

name does not appear anywhere on the Principia and why 
it was published with a broken copyright—Reprint What 
You Like. I knew I was taking liberties and didn't want 
my intentions to be misunderstood. It was an experiment 
and was intended to be an underground work and that 
involves a different set of ethics than commercial work. 

Gypsie: There are no real names at all? 

79/11/26 -6- Loompanics 



G. Skripto 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIW 


Hill: oh, some. Camden Benares is a real name because 

he legally changed his original name to his Holy Name. 
Also, instead of using Mordecai Malignatus I used Bob 
Wilson's real name on page 12 because Werewolf B ridge 
was a work before Discordianism. And of course real 
people like Neils Bohr crop up in quotes. 

Gypsie: What do you think about the Princi pia now? Would 

you want to change it? 

Hill: I consider it a successful work and I wouldn't 

want to change it. In some ways it is immature and I am 
not the same person I was 10 years ago, but it 
accomplished the objectives I set for myself and it has 
the effect I wanted it to have. There are a few errors 
though. 

Gypsie: Like what? 

Hill: Oh, I changed a quote from Tom Gnostic on page 61 

and I don't think he ever did forgive me for it. He's 
right. Starbuck's Pebbles should have been preceded by 
the Myth of Starbuck which was being saved for something 
else and never got used. I should have used it when I 
had the chance. And then Eris did a neat little trick 
on me by having IBM make the Greek selectric typewriter 
element not coincide with all the characters on their 
keyboard. So the little "kallisti" that first appears 
on the title page and lastly on the back cover came out 
"kallixti" and I was too dumb to know the difference. 

Gypsie: Will there ever be a Fifth Edition? 

Hill: There already is a Fifth Edition, by Mai 2 . It is 

a one page telegram that reduces everthing to an 
infinite aum. I found it at Western Union where a 
machine got stuck and kicked out hundreds of pages of 
nothing but m*s. He made it the Fifth Edition and then 
left. 

Principia/Malaclypse was a very personal work for me and 
actually took 10 years to culminate. It was one single 
statement that included my adolescence in the 50's and 
my young adulthood in the 60's. When I finally had the 
paste-ups done I knew that I had finished it. That is 
why, quote, Malaclypse left. I knew it was finished. I 
didn't know exactly what it was, but it was done. 

Occupant: See? 

Gypsie: Earlier you said that you met your objectives. 

Just what were those objectives? 

Hill: Well, that's hard to answer because it kept 

refining itself over the years. In 1969 I mainly 


79/11/26 


-7- 


Loompanics 



NORTON CABAL INTERVIEW 


G. Skripto 


thought of myself as a cosmic clown and I set out to 
prove, by demonstration, that a deity can be anything at 
all. 

In other words, people invent gods and not the other way 
around. Later I decided that I was doing some kind of 
conceptual art. 

In the 50*s my culture taught me that I was created by 
and for a deity, a specific male deity, and that all 
other deities are FALSE. Yet my growing experience 
showed me that any deity is true in some sense and false 
in some other sense. So I set out to do what my society 
told me is impossible—make a real religion from a 
patently absurd deity. 

In the 50 1 s a female deity was blasphemy. In the 70*s a 
humorous deity is still considered impossible, 
ridiculous and blasphemous. As far as I'm concerned, I 
have proven my point. Eris is a real deity and even 
though I don't promote Erisianism as a serious 
religion.... 


Occupant: I do! 


Dexter: You speak for yourself. 

Ignotius: Here, here. 

Hill: ...I do point out that it makes just as much 

sense from its own perspective as all the others do from 
each of their own perspectives. 


Occupant: I think paganism is a valid spiritual path. I 

encourage Erisianism because it makes fun of itself. I 
think this is healthy. 


Ignotius: If you can live rewardingly with Goddess Eris you 

can live with any deity, including none or all. 

Dexter: I don't much go for the worship business but I 

agree with Occupant about the spirit of the thing. We 
live in a time of turmoil, the whole planet is in a 
state of change. If we, as a species, cower from the 
confusion then we die with the dying. This is 
revolution. 


Ignotius: I am an athiest myself. There is no Greg Hill. 

[laughter] 

Gypsie [to Hill]: What do you think of Illuminatus ? 

Hill: Oh, I love it. I was finishing Principia when 

Shea and Wilson were working on I lluminatus . It took 


79/11/26 


-8- 


Loompanics 



G. Skripto 


NORTON CABAL INTERVIW 


Dell five years to publish it...maybe that is 
significant. The 1969 Discordian Society was a mail 
network between independent writers of various kinds. 
Norton Cabal was just me and my characters and I used 
the other cabals as sort of a laboratory. In return 
other Discordians would bounce their stuff off of me. 

We would toss in ideas and anybody could take anything 
out. It was a concept stew. The exchanging of ideas 
and techniques broadened and encouraged all of us. 

I like Illuminatus for the surrealism. A very effective 
method of writing. 

Ignotius: I got misquoted. Worse, I wasn't even in that 

scene and if I had been then I would have said something 
else. 

Dexter [to Ignotius]: That was me in that scene. 

Ignotius: Oh r is that what that was? 

Dexter: He got our names mixed up. 

Hill: He got mixed up about me too, in Cosmic T rigger . 

Bob says that when Oswald was buying the assassination 
rifle, my girlfriend was printing the first edition of 
Principi a on Jim Garrison's Xerox. It wasn't my girl 
friend, it was Kerry's; it wasn't the F irst Ed 
Principi a, it was some earlier Discordian thoughts; it 
wasn't Garrison's Xerox, it was his mimeograph; and it 
wasn't just before Kennedy was shot but a couple of 
years before that.* 

The Fir st Ed P rincipia , by the way, was reproduced at 
Xerox Corp when xerography was a new technology. Which 
was my second New Orleans trip in 1965. I worked for a 
guy on Bourbon Street who was a Xerox salesman by day. 

Dexter: I think that George Dorn took too much guff from 

Hagbard. If someome pulls a weapon on me, I'm more 
inclined to either leave or kill the sonofabitch. 

Occupant: You are supposed to be a pacifist. 

Dexter: I'm speaking figuratively of course. I'll tell 

you more tomorrow. 


* I checked this further with Mr. Thornley. He says 
that the woman in question was not his girlfriend, she was 
just a friend, and it wasn't a couple of years before 
Kennedy was shot but had to be a couple of years after (but 
before Garrison investigated Thornley). —GS 

79/11/26 -9- Loompanic s 





NORTON CABAL INTERVIEW 


G. Skripto 


Gypsie [to Hill]: Did you really translate erotic Etruscan 
poetry? 

Hill: Sure, but I used a pen name, I signed it "Robert 

Anton Wilson". 

[A quick rap is heard on the door] 

Gypsie: I have only one question left... 

Dexter: 1*11 get it. 

Gypsie: -what I really want to know is how can we all 

fit inside of a tiny little post office box? 

Dexter [to Gypsie]: It's a telegram for you, from Mai 2 . 

Gypsie: To me? 

[Paper tearing] 

Gypsie [reading]: "If I told everybody how they could live 
inside of a post office box then everybody would stop 
paying landlords and go live inside their post office 
boxes. It would collapse the building! Can you 
imagin e # post offices collapsing all over the country, 
the hemisphere, the PLANETL The whole world's 
communication system would he destroyed. No, no, I must 
not say. I dare not! 


# # # 


79/11/26 


-10- 


Loompanics 


Fifth Edition 


ODD # 03 


Pt3N(£31P3A B3M©SB3A 

or 

A CATTERPILLAR’S PRAISE TO THE BUTTERFLY 


being the 

3f3NA£ MAStEHEM 

of Malaclypse the Younger 


published by Joshua Norton Cabal 
San Francisco (k) All Rites Reversed 




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