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Everything Happens for a Reason
Have you heard that saying? Do you believe it? If you do wholeheartedly agree with the statement, then keep reading. If you wholeheartedly disagree, then this chapter might really annoy you. Either way the choice is yours. If you’re just curious, then keep reading, my friend!
Belief is a curious thing so we’re going to revisit it in this chapter. A belief is a thought that is so ingrained, so habitual, that it becomes a truth in our minds. You don’t have to believe anything I’m saying. What you believe is actually a choice. Most of us don’t question beliefs such as the earth revolves around the sun like people did in the 15 Century when Nicolaus Copernicus revealed his discovery. But when it comes to sensitive topics like health, love, money, and culture, our beliefs can create an experience of suffering or an experience of joy.
So how does one know what to believe in? It seems as if every time I develop a new belief based on something novel that I’ve learned and incorporated into my psyche, another event or situation happens that causes me to question my belief. One day, whole grains and low fat are good for your health, and the next day, they are not. Another day, you hear about how the radiation from the earthquake-damaged Fukushima reactor could cause permanent irreversible damage to humankind and then the next day read a book that insinuates that our DNA’s potential may be unleashed by it.
If you ever get completely confused about what you should or should not believe, then you’re not alone. In fact, if this is a common occurrence for you, be happy about it because at least you’re questioning your beliefs. If you are truly open and present with what is, then you’re going to really enjoy your healing journey, like I do.
The Gift of Questioning Everything
When we question our beliefs, we are in an open place where we can integrate new information. If we never question our beliefs, we can become blind to new and empowering information. There is a difference between being open and being skeptical of everything. Questioning everything does not necessarily mean being skeptical. It actually means being open to the possibility of anything.
When LifeWave first launched its acupuncture patches to the general public, there was a lot of healthy skepticism. But year after year and study upon study proved that this phototherapeutic device actually worked. Early skeptics didn’t even want to try the product even though it was not harmful. They just didn’t want to believe the results were real. They imagined that everyone else who believed they worked was just being scammed.
I remember presenting a pain relief demonstration to a group of people a few years ago. All eight of the participants with pain who volunteered to get “patched” were relieved of pain. There was a 100% success rate. The only person still in pain was the one person who refused to try it. When we asked for feedback from the group, she said the next day that she didn’t like my presentation style because I wasn’t formal enough. Interestingly, it was her husband, a doctor, who begged her to come to the presentation. She really didn’t want to be there. She wasn’t ready to change her beliefs.
What Should You Believe In?
Beliefs are powerful. They form the basis for your actions, as in the story above. So how do we know what we should believe in? Well, in my experience, the easiest way to know whether a belief is worth believing in is by answering this simple question: How is this belief serving you right now?
That’s it! The process is really that simple. Put another way, if what you believe in is currently serving you, then keep believing it. If, however, the belief has not gotten you where you want to go and is not serving you, you may wish to change your belief. When your spirit gives you an opportunity to challenge your beliefs, it is ultimately your conscious choice that guides the outcome of that challenge. For example, when I saw a bladder tumor disappear within minutes on a live ultrasound while Qi Gong practitioners were doing a healing, it radically changed my beliefs about healing cancer. Healing for some can seem to be an arduous, slow process, yet in this instance, it was quick and painless. Not all healing journeys take decades.
Make Up Your Story
Here’s one reason for believing that everything happens for a reason. If you truly believe this, then you automatically must believe that there is a purpose to your pain and suffering. Maybe you already believe there is a higher purpose. If, on the other hand, you don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, then it automatically means that everything must be happening to you by chance and thus you have no power to influence your reality. The reason I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason is that it serves me. If it didn’t serve me, then I wouldn’t believe it. Am I making some sense?
Now just because I believe that everything happens for a reason doesn’t mean that I honestly know exactly why everything happens. I don’t. But that’s the cool part. If you assume that everything happens for a reason and that the reason is there to serve you in some way, then your entire perspective on life changes. Imagine if everything that happened to you wasn’t pre-labeled good or bad? What if you chose to see everything that happened to you as “good”? What conclusion would you come to about your chronic pain? How possibly could having chronic pain be “good”?
Here’s the secret to living a happy life. Well, maybe not the secret, but a secret. If you entertain the perspective that everything that happens to you is for your highest and greatest good, a concept I first read about in Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch, then you are free to explore the possibilities on how it is serving you. Literally, you can make up a story about how it might be serving you now or in the future. Why do I consider this a secret to happiness? Because if you consciously perceive everything as “good”, then you live in a state of happy expectation rather than in a state of victimhood.
As humans, we often want to understand why something happens, as if everything must have a good reason that we can accept or have control over. Sometimes we’re looking for someone or something to blame in order to absolve ourselves of being responsible for our experiences. On the other hand, people may start misconstruing the belief that everything happens for a reason as an excuse to begin blaming people for their own problems. It is nothing of the sort. If a child repeatedly gets raped, few would blame her for attracting this experience. There is no way she would have consciously done so. And what about a mother who loses her daughter, killed by a repeat drunk driving offender? It would be inappropriate to tell her that it is for her highest and greatest good when she’s in the middle of grieving.
In the first situation, most people would agree that childhood rape is undesirable, correct? But guess what? It happens. Many people have the perspective that childhood rape “should” not happen to anyone. But if that were true, then people like Louise Hay and Crystal Andrus would not be carrying out their life missions. Crystal overcame her challenging past to become an international motivational speaker, enriching the lives of millions of women worldwide. If Louise Hay and Crystal Andrus had not endured their pain and rose above it (that’s the key choice), we would not have the benefit of these two important spiritual leaders today. I would not wish this pain on anyone, yet the ability to heal and overcome our circumstances is a human birthright and part of our soul’s development.
What about the mom who lost her daughter to a drunk driver? One such mom is Candy Lightner and she is the founder of MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, a non-profit organization that advocates and educates others so that more lives will be saved. After thirty years, this organization is still going strong and probably has saved thousands of lives. Would you not agree that if Candy Lightner had not suffered the loss of her daughter that this wonderful organization would never have been created?
Now it’s your turn. You don’t have to be a Louise Hay, Crystal Andrus or Candy Lightner. You just have to be you. If you believe that everything happens for a reason and that the reason is for your highest and greatest good, then you can start “making up” positive stories to explain why your spirit has asked you to experience what you’re experiencing.
So I invite you now to take out a pen and a journal and start jotting down some reasons why you think your chronic pain experience might be for your highest and greatest good. If you’re not ready for this exercise, then just leave it. It may not resonate with everyone. If on the other hand, you want to play this “make-belief reality” game with me, here are some ideas to get you going. You can start with this sentence (or something similar) and fill in the blank.
Having chronic pain may be the best thing that ever happened to me because…
I am learning so much about myself that I would never have known before this happened
I appreciate myself more
I can stand up for myself more
I have more compassion for others in pain
I could never say “no” before, and now I can
I’ve learned to appreciate and take care of my body better
I’ve become more conscious
I’m happier because _______________
I am learning how to receive
I feel more empowered than ever before
I appreciate that life is a gift
I am sharing what I’m learning and helping others with this knowledge
I found a tribe of people who really support and love me
I don’t take my life or my body for granted anymore
My kids don’t take me for granted anymore
There are hundreds of reasons you can make up to rationalize how your chronic pain may be serving you. No one can prove that you’re right or wrong. It is just an exercise to open your mind and heart to the possibilities. If you feel more open and more empowered after doing this exercise, then use it anytime you are feeling down or disempowered. If, on the other hand, it isn’t resonating with you, that’s okay. Stick to the parts of this book that do.
There’s an Albert Einstein quote that I just love which goes something like this: We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking (consciousness) we used when we created them. One of the reasons why I’m asking you to consider the possibility that everything happens for a reason (and that the reason is for your highest and greatest good) is to open your mind to a new line of thinking. Maybe you’ve thought this way for years. On the other hand, maybe it is brand new. Take this belief for a test drive. Try it out for a while. See if it serves you or not. If it does, keep it, if it doesn’t, then throw it out.
Chapter Summary
Believing that everything happens for a reason is a perspective we can choose to entertain or not when it comes to our chronic pain
If we believe that everything that happens might be for our highest and greatest good, then our perspective changes. We are then never victims of circumstance, but participants in a grander scheme
Because we can’t really know for sure why anything happens, we can just make up the reasons why we are experiencing what we are, putting a positive spin on it if we like because it serves us
The spiritual journey centers on choice. You can choose your beliefs based on how they affect your life. If they serve, keep them, and if they do not, then let them go