24
The Gift of Being Present
Countless spiritual teachers advise us to become more “fully present” and tell us of the wondrous benefits from being in this state. These teachers include Deepak Chopra, MD, Eckart Tolle, Carolyn Myss, Pema Chodron, and Neale Donald Walsch, to name a few. Frankly, at first, I didn’t buy it. I didn’t understand what they meant by “being present”. Why couldn’t I just do something to be present? How was I supposed to just be present? I began trying to meditate. Often I’d fall asleep or just start thinking about my next big project. If I did visualizations, movements or listened to Dr. Jeff Thompson’s brain entrainment music, I felt great! But I couldn’t just sit there with nothing to do and just “watch my thoughts” for very long. I really thought that sitting meditation was the pinnacle of what I was supposed to achieve. Presence, however, has nothing to do with achieving.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I used to secretly make fun of people who’d spend their vacations at Ashrams meditating all day. Boring, I thought. My judgment was that if these people really wanted to change the world, they should get off their butts and do something useful. Today, I think very differently. Full-time monks and “professional meditators” are accomplishing something amazing with their meditation practices. I’ll share with you why what they’re doing is as important as what scientists or activists are doing to help heal the world of suffering.
Before having fibromyalgia, I was like the Energizer Bunny. No one could keep up with me. My need to achieve was so great that once I finished one project, I was on to another, barely giving myself a chance to breathe or even celebrate my accomplishments. This habitual “doing” was actually an unconscious way for me to escape what was really troubling me – low self-esteem.
Somehow I grew up with the unfortunate, common perception that I wasn’t good enough. No matter how many outside awards and accolades I received, I still felt like a fraud on the inside. My outer confidence was a mask because inside I was terrified that someone might discover I wasn’t perfect. My quest for perfection led me down the path where I eventually burnt myself out and became disabled.
You see, although my body looked “healthy”, my mind was stuck in old repeating patterns and my spirit was all but withered away. Thanks to my illness, I had absolutely no choice but to slow down and re-evaluate everything I had believed since birth. I literally came to a point during my illness where I felt I had the choice to continue going down my habitual path of unconscious “doing”, or bushwhack through a new, yet undiscovered path of presence where I could regain my health again. Many spiritual teachers call that moment of choice “the dark night of the soul”. My spirit had to use my illness in order to get my attention. This may be true of you too.
What Presence has to do with Healing
Carolyn Myss said it best when she explained that healing the physical body requires most of your spirit, i.e. “energy circuits” to be functioning in present time. As I discussed in the Mind section of this book, past emotional trauma or old non-supportive beliefs siphon energy away from the present moment, leaving you with less energy to heal. The practice of being present is a way to recover these lost energy circuits and reintegrate them into present time. The hardest thing about being present is that it isn’t really an action. It is, however, a state of being.
The present is also the state from which you manifest your future reality. There is a humorous saying that goes, “If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you’re in a position to piss all over the present”. Please excuse the harsh language, but I think the point is made! The more we can recognize and choose being present, the more we can live from a place of true choice. Living from a place of choice means never being a victim of circumstances. Your ability to influence the outcome of your desires stems from your moment to moment choices. These choices include the choice to perceive anything that happens to you as an opportunity or as a curse.
It takes courage, persistence and willpower to question our automatic perceptions and choose which ones we want to keep and which ones we’ve outgrown. These moment to moment choices require presence.
Becoming More Present
There are many spiritual teachers who can help train you to becoming more present. I’m certainly not an expert but I can offer you an exercise that has been helpful to me, so that you can practice getting the hang of it. I encourage you to do further study because you’ll find that you’ll resonate with some teachings more than others.
Becoming present isn’t a goal per se, but a practice. Yoga teachers often call their personal yoga ritual their “practice”. Many spiritual teachers refer to a meditative “practice”. Being present, like riding a bike for the first time, takes practice. At first, it might feel foreign and you may even judge yourself as being inept at it. You might even negate the experience believing that it isn’t worth your time. That’s ok. Becoming more present can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever practice. But let me tell you this: it is one of the most rewarding.
Practicing Presence – Exercise #1
Sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight. See if you can minimize distractions such as ringing phones, television, music etc. Close your eyes. Now, with your eyes closed, start paying attention to your physical body. At first, you might be feeling the clothes touching your skin, or the hardness of the chair or cushion underneath you. Maybe if you’ve done yoga or meditation before, you’ll automatically tune into your breath. All of that is good.
Next, see if you can tune into the place inside your skin i.e. the interior of the body. There is no need to change anything. I just want you to tune in and notice what it feels like. You might scan up and down and notice how different parts of you feel inside. If any judgment or other thoughts come up, that’s ok. When you notice them, just acknowledge them, “Ah, thanks for sharing”, and then let them go. Continue redirecting any of these thoughts or judgments and return to tuning into your body. After about five minutes, open your eyes and go back to going about your day.
Practicing Presence – Exercise #2
For this exercise, as in exercise #1, sit in a quiet comfortable upright position and focus your attention inwards. Once you’ve tuned into the various sensations of your body and just “noticed” what they feel like, I want you to now tune into one specific area of discomfort. It may be easiest to focus on the one area of your body where you’re experiencing the most pain. As you train your focus on this specific area, see if you can let go of any judgments that may naturally arise, such as, “ugh, this pain sucks!” or “I wish this would go away now!” etc.
Instead, whenever thoughts come into your consciousness, just say to them, “Thank you for sharing” and then move back to focusing on the sensation of the discomfort. Really feel the sensation without putting a label on it. Even if your mind thinks, “it feels hot”; “oh, it is really feeling tight!” just let these thoughts go and retrain your mind to focus back on just feeling. Immerse your senses into this focused area. Often you may start to feel it shift and change, but you’re not trying to make it change. You’re not trying to make it go away. Even if the pain does go away (and don’t be surprised if it does), see if you can let go of any emotional attachment to the experience.
Instead of hoping the pain will disappear next time you do this exercise, just be with “what is”. As spiritual teacher, GP Walsh, likes to say, this is the Art of Allowing. You can learn more about this art by checking out his free introductory course at www.JustAllowIt.net.
Whenever I practice the first exercise, I am aware of a feeling of vibration throughout my body. There isn’t any emotion, just the feeling state. To illustrate how this can work in everyday life, I’m going to share a story about how “being present” helped me release intense fear one night.
As a teenager, I was enraptured by suspenseful horror movies. Movies like “The Amityville Horror”, “Carrie”, and “Halloween” were classics that I enjoyed. After getting fibromyalgia, I found that I could not really enjoy scary movies very often because they could drain my energy. A couple of years ago, I decided that I was going to watch a scary movie called “The Ring”. A friend of mine had enjoyed it, so I thought that I was strong enough to start watching scary movies again. Well, “The Ring” turned out to be one of the scariest movies I ever watched. The special effects were especially haunting and I was scared something was going to crawl out of my television when the lights went out! After watching “The Ring,” I could barely fall asleep the next two nights because my mind would conjure up images from the movie over and over again.
What made things worse for me is that I knew I was draining my energy by making myself so scared by reliving the scenes in my head, yet I couldn’t seem to concentrate on relaxation exercises either. The movie had a cliff-hanger ending and it bothered me that there wasn’t a resolution to the movie. Over time, I finally forgot about the movie and was able to sleep normally and to walk by the television late at night without freaking out.
Guess what happened? The sequel to the movie, “The Ring 2,” came out on DVD and my friend offered to lend me the movie. I couldn’t resist. I just had to watch it! Once again, after watching it, I scared myself silly and couldn’t fall asleep. This time, however, instead of trying to breathe and relax, and calm myself, I decided to dive right into the scared feeling. Scenes from the movie kept running around in my head, so I redirected my focus to my body. I became curious about what was going on in my body. In other words, I asked myself, “What does being really scared feel like in my body?” I directed my attention within and was surprised at what I found. I felt waves of huge pulsing energy throughout my entire body. This energy was so big, it was literally shooting out of my hands and feet! The sensation was so interesting, I investigated further and found that my heart was beating so vigorously that I could feel the heaving of my chest wall, up and down. Wow! I never noticed this sensation before. Everything I felt was new and curious to me. As soon as I noticed myself thinking these thoughts, I’d go back to focusing on the experience. The next thing I knew, I was sound asleep and woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day.
So what happened to me and why was I able to fall asleep? Instead of resisting my feeling of being scared, I consciously dove into it and became curious about what that experience was like. I was so fully present with my experience of feeling scared, that I didn’t have time to re-live the scary scenes of the movie (which would have been experiencing the past). Being fully present meant that I could no longer be scared. Instead I was just present to what is.
This experience has reminded me over and over again of the power of being present. Resisting our experiences rather than diving into them creates the opposite effect that we desire. However, it is natural to resist what is uncomfortable. Here’s the cool part. You can be resisting what is uncomfortable and then fully acknowledge your resistance in the present and consciously feel your resistance! You can’t really “do” presence wrong!
When we experience pain in our bodies, it is often the result of stagnant energy. There isn’t enough movement of energy, whether that is related to emotional issues, nutritional issues, or spiritual issues. No matter the cause, just putting your attention on the issue without judgment or intention other than to just be present with it, often gives the area enough energy to move through the stagnation. However, being attached to that goal causes restriction and more stagnation, because in that attachment, fear comes up and that means you are no longer present to what is.
Chapter Summary
Being present means having all of your spirit or energy circuits in present time
The present is the state from which you manifest your reality
Being in the state of presence takes practice, just like any skill
True holistic healing includes the practice of being present with our experiences whatever they may be
Bringing focused, gentle attention to a painful area through the practice of presence may help to shift your experience of it