(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-02-07 Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 7, 2023 Note: If you can't say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. Instead, rent a Chinese “payback balloon” to dump a can of paint on ‘em. Boy, does that feel good. - By the Numbers: 9 days!!! Days 'til Presidents Day: 13 Days 'til the Oregon Truffle Festival in Eugene: 9 Percent of Americans polled by Fox News who say we should continue sending money and equipment to Ukraine: 63% Average number of eggs consumed per person last year, according to the USDA: 278 Wind chill in Portland Maine overnight Saturday, a new record: -45 F Wind chill at the top of New Hampshire's Mount Washington, also a record: -108 F Percent chance that the hills are alive with the sound of music, according to the Von Trapp Institute for Paranormal Alpine Activity: 100% - Puppy Pic of the Day: World's oldest puppy keeps on goin’… - CHEERS to sittin' down at the kitchen table for a reality check from Uncle Joe. Thanks to the miracle of time travel (thank you, host wormhole), we got a preview of tonight's State of the Union address in front of a joint session of Congress (and the Supreme Court justices, most of ‘em anyway). Please rise: "Mister Speaker, Madam Vice President, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and my fellow Americans, I come before you tonight to report that the state of our union is…" Gonna miss Speaker Nancy up there. They should blur McCarthy’s face to prevent viewer nausea. "Liar!"…"Socialist!"…"Who asked you?!!"…"Someone call the Gezpacho Police!!!"… "Sleepy Joe!"… "Your Executive Branch thugs stole my ankle flask!"…"Impeach now!"… [Honk Honk!!!] …"I hope you fail because if you fail America fails! Er, you know what I mean!"…"I'm mooning you on behalf of JOHN GALT!"…"Pee! Poop! I said pee poop Ha Ha Ha!!!"…"That should be the ghost of JFK, Jr. up there!"…"Could someone please remove the Communist infiltrators from the chamber?" ... "Tyranny!"… [Honk Honk!!!] …"Your speech is full of bamboo fibers!" … "Can we filibuster this address? How about an anonymous hold, then?"... [Honk Honk!!!] …"Look! I'm holding up a piece of paper with misspelled words on it!"..."Use promo code CancelCulture123 and get 66 percent you’re your MyPillow purchase!"… "I love lamp!" …"RobbleRobbleRobble!"… [Honk Honk!!!]" "...still a work in progress." It's mostly smooth sailing from there. P.S. The one who does nothing but honk the clown horn? As usual...Justice Thomas. CHEERS and JEERS to your Tuesday morning cancel culture roundup. Been awhile since we took stock of who wants to get rid of what, so here's a little refresher as we hurtle through the week: Democrats want to cancel… Gun violence, income inequality, gender inequality, fossil fuels, murder-by-cop, gaslighting, voter suppression, tax avoidance by the rich, right-wing terrorist groups operating out in the open because the Justice Department and Homeland Security let them, the war on education, evangelical grifting operations, Russia's leadership. Republicans want to cancel… Gun-control laws, M&Ms, Mr. Potato Head, Minnie Mouse, American Girl dolls, education, Democrats, LGBTQ people, green energy projects, unions, Black people in positions of authority (except those who work tirelessly on behalf of white Republicans), My Little Pony, attacks on the legacies of Hitler and Mussolini, free and fair elections, vaccines, X-Box, CVS, United Airlines, exposed female arms and shoulders, Capitol security, reproductive freedom, Ukraine's leadership. Or, to summarize it mainstream media-style: Both sides do it! CHEERS to construer constriction. On February 7, 1795 the Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. It says: "The judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another State, or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state." Sadly, they failed to include "or by aliens from another planet," leading to the unexpected annexation of Texas by the Emperor Glarb of the Xxxxorpp Nebula. Whoops! (But I have to admit George Santos looks downright regal in his viceroy sash.) - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Mark Steiger's 28 year old cockatoo Smudge opens three doors by solving a sequential problem, using a tool and winding up a roller shutter [source: https://t.co/fU53mLwk4p]pic.twitter.com/IYf392TAZn — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) February 5, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to historic moments in getting busted for doing something naughty with your hand. A baker’s dozen of hilarious years ago this week, while bamboozling a rapt Tea Party audience in Nashville at the height of the movement's Black President Panic of 2010, former everything Sarah Palin—currently nursing her butthurt after Alaska rejected her again for a seat in Congress—got caught for the most juvenile of transgressions: writing cheat notes on her hand: [Eyeroll] Energy. Budget Tax cuts. Lift American spirits. So complex were those concepts that she had to write them down. On her hand. Seven words. And even then she made a mistake and had to cross one out. Y'know, we don’t say this to our right-wing friends nearly enough: even though you’re lunatics with incurious, reality-averse mush for brains who represent the worst of human instincts, thank you anyway...for your healing gift of laughter. JEERS to doin’ the old shake-’n-crumble. Humanity has really been pissing God off lately. She couldn’t knock us out with either the asteroid or the comet or the polar vortex last week, so instead she unleashed a major earthquake on Turkey and Syria measuring 7.8 on the Andy Richter scale. Massive damage and the death toll is estimated at 2,000, but you know it'll go far north of that. (Just before posting I saw a headline that said 5,000.) Meanwhile, closer to home Buffalo experienced its largest earthquake on record. If the International Space Station posts a classified ad for a cabana boy, I call dibs. - Ten years ago in C&J: February 7, 2013 CHEERS to "nutritional tyranny!" That's no doubt what'll be buzzing through conservatives' heads as they discover the government is sticking their commie bean sprout-clutching hands down Junior's throat: The government for the first time is proposing broad new standards to make sure all foods sold in schools are more healthful, a change that would ban the sale of almost all candy, high-calorie sports drinks and greasy foods on campus. … The rules, required under a child nutrition law passed by Congress in 2010, are part of the government's effort to combat childhood obesity. … Under the proposal, the Agriculture Department would set fat, calorie, sugar and sodium limits on almost all foods sold in schools. Credit Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack for the announcement. Certainly not a cure-all, but I don't see why the new rules wouldn’t make a dent in childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, juvenile heart disease, etc. On the other hand, having to belch the alphabet on diet soda? That's just not right. - And just one more… CHEERS to notes notes. I got so distracted by Groundhog Day that I didn’t even notice that the latest batch of nominees vying for induction in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame were announced last week. They are: First-Time Nominees Missy Elliott Sheryl Crow Joy Division/New Order Cyndi Lauper George Michael Willie Nelson The White Stripes Warren Zevon Does this count as “fugly”? Repeat Nominees Kate Bush The Spinners Soundgarden Rage Against the Machine A Tribe Called Quest Iron Maiden The inductees will be announced in May. The link for online voting is here. As usual, I'll be casting a daily write-in vote for John Williams for his Grammy-winning disco theme from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Because, c’mon…won’t we all? Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "When I was briefed on the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool, I ordered the Pentagon to drain it as soon as possible." —President Biden - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/2/7/2151223/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Tuesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/