(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Monday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-02-13 Nom nom nom... ABOLISH MY FILIBUSTER BE MY GAZPACHO COP? U R MY RECHARGING STATION LET'S PUNCH SOME NAZIS YOU GIVE ME INFLATION BABY MY DOGFACE PONY SOLDIER 4EVUH “Happy Valentine’s Day, my little lotus blossom. I got you a box of Type-2 diabetes.” AUDIT MY BALLOT BOX? STROKE MY GUN. I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S NOT LOADE MELT MY HEART LIKE AN ICECAP TRUTH = TRUE ❤ LET’S NOT WATCH FOX...TOGETHER GEORGE SANTOS INVENTED THESE What can we say? That's amore. And now, our feature presentation... - Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 13, 2023 Note: Today is Monday the 13th. The good news: it's not unlucky! The bad news: it's still Monday. - By the Numbers: 8 days!!! Days 'til the start of MLB spring training: 11 Days 'til International Pancake Day in Liberal, Kansas and Olney, England: 8 Weekly unemployment claims announced last week, still at the lowest level since 1970: 196,000 Number of Twitter's top 1,000 advertisers who have pulled their ad dollars from it: 625 Number of popes there have been since St. Peter in 32: 266 Year the first commercially-produced Valentine cards were sold in the US: 1834 Age of Burt Bacharach when he died last week: 94 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Ding Dong... - JEERS to more lawbreaking. As Special Master Counsel Viceroy Constable Gumshoe Cop-On-The-Beat Jack Smith subpoenas both Mike Pence and one of Trump's national security advisers, the long arm of the law once again finds stuff down at Mar-a-Lago that shouldn’t have ever been there, and which should've been returned a long time ago: Former President Donald Trump's legal team turned over a folder with classification markings found last month at his Mar-a-Lago resort to federal agents, multiple sources familiar with the matter tell ABC News. […] Oh...so now there’s a laptop. My, my. Additionally, sources tell ABC News that a laptop belonging to a current aide of the former president was also provided to federal agents. The material was discovered in the Mar-a-Lago complex, and not in a storage facility within the complex that housed hundreds of classified documents prior to them being seized in August 2022, the sources said. Unsecured documents. Unsecured laptop. That could mean deep doo-doo. If this keeps up, Merrick Garland may have no choice but to speed up the investigation and make arrests within the next decade. CHEERS to good aim. Someone sometime launched a something somewhere, and it floated over Canada with nefarious intentions. What was it all a-boot, eh? Sabotage? Surveillance? Skullduggery? Was it…murrrrrrrder??? We intend to find out, because that sucker is now sittin' on the ground smokin'… Saturday’s shootdown of an object in the skies over North America is the third in less than two weeks. Prolly just an Uber Eats drone delivering lunch? In a streamed news conference Saturday evening, Canada’s defense minister, Anita Anand, described the object as cylindrical and smaller than an object that was recovered off the U.S. coast after it was shot down Feb. 4. She said it was otherwise “potentially similar” to the one that was shot down off South Carolina. On Saturday, the object was shot down at 3:41 p.m. ET, about 100 miles from the U.S.-Canada border and 40,000 feet aloft after crews in U.S. and Canadian aircraft put eyes on it, Anand said. She described the area as central Yukon. The UFO was shot down by a missile from an American F-22. But only because Canada's poutine cannons are considered weapons of mass destruction. CHEERS to #16. Happy birthday to Abe Lincoln, who turned 214 yesterday. It's no surprise that he's considered by many to be our greatest president, including the 721 historians and political scientists who contributed their opinions to the book, Rating the Presidents: Our poll rates the category of Lincoln's Character and Integrity the highest of any president's. Lincoln was goth emo before goth emo was cool. The poll also lauds his appointments. ... His steady leadership, rated second among presidents [after FDR], kept the Union cause alive during the Civil War's darkest days for the Union. Our experts describe this with remarks like "took America through its greatest crisis," "great moral leader," [and] "had broad strategic vision and a poet's wisdom." … He possessed qualities of kindness and compassion. Lincoln also had the wisdom of magnanimousness in victory, especially needed for the national healing after the Civil War. Many of the men reaching the august office of the presidency have lacked these simple but uncommon virtues, which play so important a part in governing a nation. And he had a few choice words that seem aimed directly at the twice-impeached, disgraced leader of the red-hatted cultists: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." "He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met." "How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." Pay your respects here. Yesterday was also the 214th birthday of evolution guy Charles Darwin—aka Darwin Day. The creationism crowd, which spends most of its time mocking the idea that we evolved from chimpanzees, spent their day the usual way: flinging poo and picking fleas out of each other's hair. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to today's edition of Why, Thank You! Courtesy of our good…nay, very good…friends at the IRS: The IRS ruled Friday that state stimulus payments, like the $850 pandemic relief checks Maine sent to tens of thousands of households, are not subject to federal taxes. The tax agency made the announcement after putting millions of taxpayers in Maine and 16 other states on pins and needles at the outset of the tax filing season. This has been today's edition of Why, Thank You! CHEERS to pigskin fever! Wow—that Super Bowl was awesome! Did you see how [quarterback] executed that awesome [pass play] [running play] in the [first] [second] [third] [fourth] quarter??? Holy cow! And when [player] took the ball and [ran] [threw] [kicked] for that [touchdown] [field goal] [extra point], that was...well, it was just [amazing] [unbelievable] [bullshit]. At least [half-time entertainer(s)] did a reasonably good job of [singing] [dancing] [eating fire] [exposing his/her/their titties]. And the commercial with the talking [baby] [dog] [horse] [monkey] [drag queen] [Jesus freak] was clearly the [best] [worst]. I'll never [forget] [remember] it!!! - Ten years ago in C&J: February 13, 2013 JEERS to the old, unimproved Republican party. If conservatives are trying to rebrand themselves as slightly less wackadoo than usual, they're sure off to a crappy start. Take their "new" proposed energy policy. As in: take it to outer space and blow it up: The Senate’s top Republican on energy issues, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska…wants oil leasing off the coasts of Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. She wants an increase in drilling on federal lands [and] the coastal plain of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and overturning the Interior Department’s plan to set aside half the National Petroleum-Reserve Alaska for wildlife, wilderness and recreation. … Murkowski is resistant to federal regulation of fracking. … She is pushing for immediate approval of the Keystone XL Pipeline, which is opposed by environmental groups because it would tap Canadian oil sands that are higher in carbon emissions than other sources of oil. Ever the diplomat, Senate Energy Committee chairman Ron Wyden (D-OR) says he's "looking forward to working with Senator Murkowski." Yeah. Kinda like the way a proctologist looks forward to working with Rush Limbaugh. - And just one more… JEERS to Gun FAIL 101. It Seems Like It Was Only—[BLAM!!!]—yesterday. Seventeen years ago today, after the Cheney team sat on the news for 24 hours, America finally learned that the vice president went hunting and bagged himself a lawyer: Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a campaign contributor during a weekend quail hunt on a friend's South Texas ranch, local authorities and the vice president's office said Sunday. Whittington shows off his birdshot scars. He lived to be 95, passing away two weeks ago. The wounded man, 78-year-old Harry Whittington, was in intensive care at a Corpus Christi hospital after being hit by several pellets of birdshot Saturday afternoon, hospital spokesman Peter Banko told CNN. Whittington, an Austin attorney who gave $1,000 to President Bush's 2000 campaign and $2,000 to his 2004 re-election bid, was among a handful of people accompanying the vice president when the accident occurred Saturday afternoon. That was the signal to unleash the hounds of late night: "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, was shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." —Jon Stewart "But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." —Jimmy Kimmel "To the vice president's credit, he did own up to it. On FOX News he said the fault was his, he can't blame anybody else. It's amazing—the only time you get accountability out of this administration is when they are actually holding a smoking gun." —Bill Maher I bring this up not only to mark one of many jaw-dropping milestones during the previous Republican accidency…er, presidency, but to remind you that Deadeye Dick is still alive and roaming the countryside. Lock your doors and count the children. Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial A document with classified markings was removed from the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool Friday during a search by the FBI, according to Bill in Portland Maine spokes-squirrel Gladys. —CNN - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/2/13/2152402/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Monday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/