(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
 . . . . . . . . . .



I'm running for office, and here are my extraordinary qualifications. [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.', 'Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags']

Date: 2023-02-17  

Here's me, filling out my resume.

I am running as a Republican for federal office — I haven’t chosen which yet, but bear with me. My soon-to-be constituents need to know my qualifications, of course; and once they see how incredibly qualified I am, they will feel obliged to vote for me. Here goes:

I am a graduate of a prestigious college named after a famous inventor.1

I am a trained agronomist.2

I am an accomplished athlete.3

I am a well-regarded literary critic.4

I am a successful business entrepreneur.5

My family is very important to me.6

I am Catholic.7

I am familiar with guns.8

I am truthful.9

Anything else you would expect me to be, I’m sure I can be.

1. Thomas Edison State College, Trenton, New Jersey.

2. I took a correspondence course in edible plants from Penn State University, and I grow my own organic vegetables to save money.

3. My best time as a ninth-grade runner in the 100 yard dash was 11.2 seconds — no, 11.5.

4. My children think I know a lot about poetry, and I once wrote a paper on TS Eliot — got an A.

5. All of my Ebay customers say so.

6. Except for my estranged brother, and my other siblings who I occasionally see at funerals.

7. Well, until I was 16. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic, right?

8. Shot one once, at a target, as a Tenderfoot. Missed. Not good with bows and arrows, either.

[END]
---
[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/2/17/2153535/-I-m-running-for-office-and-here-are-my-extraordinary-qualifications

Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.

via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/