(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Top Comments: Emotional Growth, K2 Edition [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.', 'Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags'] Date: 2023-02-20 It’s been a while since I posted about K2. For new readers, K2 is my youngest child, so named because back when my eldest was an only, they were called Kid Brillig. When we adopted my son in 2009 at the age of 4, Kid Brillig 1 & 2 rapidly became Too Much To Type, and thus K1 and K2 came into being. K2 is a typical 17 year old boy, happy with his friends, glued to his phone screen and airpods, fairly silent when it comes to discussing emotions (and most other topics) with his parents. He’s a high school junior again, having reclassified after his junior year in public school when he transferred to a private Catholic (Xaverian flavor) boys school for this year and next. It was a move that’s reinvigorated his love of school, and also gave him the opportunity to play on a State Champion soccer team. Note- while religion may be mentioned in this diary because of said school, this isn’t a Religion Diary. This past November K2 was inducted into his school’s chapter of National Honor Society. As part of that, he’s obligated to do a number of hours of community service. This is NOT his favorite activity and he hasn’t done much yet this year. He let us know early last week that the NHS students were asked to sign up if available to serve as helpers for an event not usually on the list of options. A week earlier, an unthinkable tragedy shook his school community… a sixth grader in his first semester at the school was shot and killed in his home along with his mother, by his father... who then took his own life. Their family decided to have the wake and funeral for mother and son at the school. We had a prior commitment on Saturday so K2 signed up to volunteer as a greeter/escort for the wake on Friday evening. He’s never been to a wake or funeral before. In fact, he’d been kind of blase about all of it, because as he said “I didn’t know this family, he was a 6th grader so we didn’t ever meet” (the middle and high school buildings are physically separate). But he wore his blue blazer and tie, and at the end, I picked him up. I asked my usual question when he gets in the car, “How’d it go?” expecting the usual “fine” as the airpods slid into his ears. That isn’t what happened. We talked for the entire 20 minute drive home and while I’ll paraphrase, this is a taste of what we discussed... He said he’d gotten to go to the wake to pay his respects. He was surprised it was closed casket; I gently reminded him that there may have been no way to have it otherwise. That led to other questions, and I shared my experience that even in an open casket wake, the person doesn’t really look like the living person we knew. I told him that for me, seeing my friend or loved one really drove home that they were gone. He said a teenaged male cousin and his mom were there, and then softly “I wonder how he feels?” Now, if you knew my son, you’d know that a statement like that rarely if ever leaves his mouth. Teenagers are by nature self-centered and empathy or putting yourself in another’s shoes isn’t always a common occurence, and for K2 it is utterly rare. We talked about how difficult this must be, because of the dynamics of losing three members of your family but under these circumstances. I said I hoped he had a good support system. And a mile or two from the house, he said “This feels like something that only happens in movies” and I replied that yes, no one really ever expects that horrific tragedies like this will affect your family, or school, or town. And this is what everyone affected by gun violence must feel like, because it SHOULDN’T happen anywhere but movies and yet here we all are. Heavy conversation for a seventeen year old on the Friday evening kicking off February school vacation week. We haven’t spoken about it since, but I know that this experience has both shaken him and led to some serious emotional growth and maturity. How could it not? I also notice he’s spending a LOT of time catching up with friends in a way he hasn’t in quite some time. Whether that’s related or not, I’m not asking. I’m glad he is spending time with his peers. And I’m so very proud of him. What’s on your mind tonight, this President’s Day? Come share in the comments, after a peek at tonight’s Tops… [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/2/20/2154093/-Top-Comments-Emotional-Growth-K2-Edition Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/