(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-04-04 On that score, C&J offers a preemptive tip of the hat to the stalwart heroes of this and every election at every level: the poll workers, tabulators, and supervisors who bust their humps to make sure things are done with integrity and transparency. May every Republican who falsely casts them as villains develop horrible itchy rashes until they either repent or die and go to Hell, whichever comes first. Go get ‘em, kid. Things look promising for Judge Janet, as it's dawned on Wisconsinites that her opponent would be a guy so lost in the weeds that he supported stealing the 2020 election results and handing the electoral votes to the loser (a certain former president now facing indictment in New York). Everybody just pause for a moment to let that sink in. It's health care, education, fact, science, and empathy versus ignorance, incompetence, bigotry, and apathy. Polls close at 8pm. Send those vibes now and may the best Janet Protasiewicz win. And now, our feature presentation… - Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, April 4, 2023 Note: The last mound of snow in front of our house has finally melted. If you're missing a brown sock, an arm from a Barbie doll, or 625 cigarette butts, please see the attendant at the Lost & Found booth. —Mgt - By the Numbers: 10 days!!! Days 'til the start of Passover: 1 Days 'til the 87th annual Atlanta Dogwood Festival: 10 Portion of graduating Florida high school students surveyed by Intelligent.com who now say they won’t attend a Florida college specifically because of Ron DeSantis's Gestapo-like education policies: 1-in-8 Estimated percent of the area of Ukraine that Russia increased its control over in March: 0.01% Percent increase in the Nasdaq during the first quarter: 17% Estimated percent at which audiences have come back to movie theaters relative to pre-pandemic levels: 60% - 80% Years Chris Hayes' MSNBC show All In has been on the air as of last week: 10 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Best scene John Williams ever scored… - CHEERS to history of the history-making kind. Well, the dick finally finds himself in the dock today. Donald J. Trump, son of Piece O. Garbage Trump, husband of Piece O. Shit Trump, father to Piece O. Trash Trump, Piece O. Slime Trump, Coke S. Norter-Trump, and Barron, turns himself in to law enforcement authorities today, upon which he'll be processed and charged with crimes by the Manhattan District Attorney's office. It's the first time a former president has faced this kind of music (only the greatest music, believe me, even better than Washington's and Lincoln's music). A few things to watch for today: ♨ The mug shot, which his MAGA cult will slap or etch onto hats, t-shirts, flags, bras, panties, bumper stickers, yard signs, coffee mugs, non-fungible tokens, tattoos, guns, holsters, bibles, billboards, mud flaps, beer cans, body armor, haircuts, and fundraising emails…lots and lots of fundraising emails. Today Captain Cheeto gets fingerprinted. ♨ The charges, which will be unsealed today. Fearless prediction: slightly more serious than jaywalking, slightly less serious than first-degree murder. ♨ The MAGA protests, which will be led in front of the courthouse by Leslie Stahl's alleged lesbian lover (many people are saying) Marjorie Taylor-Greene. ♨ The pro-rule-of-law counterprotests, which will be led by the entire city of New York (shithole country Staten Island excepted). ♨ The media coverage, which will run the gamut from "Why this is bad news for Democrats" all the way to "Why this is good news for Republicans." The fun starts at—[glances at wrist]—a hair past a freckle o'clock. If you hear something that sounds like thunder in the sky around midday, it's just all the dead previous presidents slapping their knees in unison. CHEERS to the new kid in the clubhouse. It took awhile to dot all the i's, cross all the t's, and umlaut all the a's and o's, but the time has arrived when the forces of good can finally shout in the direction of Helsinki: “Tervetuloa! Tervetuloa! Tervetuloa!” NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg said Monday Finland will become the 31st member of the world’s biggest military alliance on Tuesday, prompting a warning from Russia that it would bolster its defenses near their joint border if NATO deploys any troops in its new member. Finland’s is not an army you want to piss off. “This is a historic week,” Stoltenberg told reporters on the eve of a meeting of NATO foreign ministers in Brussels. “From tomorrow, Finland will be a full member of the alliance.” He said that he hopes Sweden will be able to join NATO in coming months. The former Norwegian prime minister said that on Tuesday afternoon, “we will raise the Finnish flag for the first time here at the NATO headquarters. It will be a good day for Finland’s security, for Nordic security, and for NATO as a whole.” Vladimir Putin, the catalyst for Finland casting its lot with NATO, isn't pleased. Not at all. Unlike his drunken army of prison convicts, the Finns know how to fight. JEERS to the good dying young. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee 55 years ago today at the age of 39, less than a day after delivering his famous "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech at the Mason Temple in which he made it clear he knew he was in the cross-hairs: President Obama visits the MLK memorial in D.C. “I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers? Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land! And so I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man.” Our favorite King juniorism resonates louder with every passing year, given the ongoing radicalization of the Republican party: "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." His lips to their ears. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Designed by The Archimedes, LIAM F1 UWT is a new generation of wind turbine for domestic use capable of generating an average of 1,500 kilowatt-hours of energy with a wind speed of 5 m/s—enough for a family home [read more: https://t.co/25ygJTGqNs]pic.twitter.com/j59iZHfGtv — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) April 2, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - JEERS to the long and short of it. After he was sworn in, 68 year-old William Henry Harrison gave the longest inaugural speech of any president: 105 minutes. Here are some of the highlights: 9 minute mark "Okay, let’s break the ice with a little game of ‘Duck Duck Goose.’ Vice President Tyler, why don’t you go first..." True fact: Harrison spent 17 minutes of his inaugural address in a stare-down contest with the crowd. He won. 30 minute mark ”So the guy looks at him and says: ‘The Aristocrats!’ Ha ha ha, great joke! But seriously...” 36 minute mark "I was thinkin’ the other day: I wonder if we’ll ever have a president who’s a total douchebag cuz he’s filthy rich but also really stupid and wrecks everything cuz he thinks he’s such a ‘bigly’ dictator. Naaaaaah!!! So, anyway, back to my story about the frog with the loaded musket crossing the river...” 42 minute mark "Hey, can somebody give me a signal at the 104-minute mark so I’ll know to wrap it up? Thanks." 62 minute mark "Aaaaaahhhh-CHOO!!!! I know, I know, say it don't spray it, ha ha ha…but anyway—[sniffle]—now there are 44 bottles of beer on the wall. Yes, 44 bottles of beer. Then you take one down and pass it around, and guess how many bottles you now have on the wall. Go ahead...take a wild guess..." 93 minute mark: "[Sigh] Can we just all stand really still for a few minutes and just, like, be? Let’s combine our auras and just feel the moment..." The day was unusually cold and windy, and he delivered his address in nothing more than a pair of boxers and a swath of leopard skin draped over his shoulder. Bad move. 31 days later, on April 4, 1841, Harrison became the first president to die in office of either pneumonia or his doctors' treatment of his pneumonia. Pay your respects here. Please keep it brief. CHEERS to getting caught in your own mouse trap. When the Walt Disney Company mildly tut-tutted Florida Ubertstuhrmbandfuhrer Ron IlDuce Santis for hating on the gays, the three-fingered pudding eater blew a gasket and canceled the decades-long agreement the state had with Disney to manage its own little Orlando fiefdom. Putting aside the weirdness of ceding that kind of municipal authority to a corporation, it was a foolish thing for the governor to do for one simple reason: Disney's lawyers are smarter. And it's gotta be extra humiliating for the Harvard-educated DeSantis to know that none other than the governor of California is openly mocking him: Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom of California praised Walt Disney World for its "masterclass" of putting Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida "back in his place" after the company created a loophole to maintain control of its land. This mouse slays fascists. "I guess there's a new sheriff in town," Newsom told Insider on Saturday, in a not-so-subtle reference to a comment DeSantis made when he appointed a new board to oversee Disney's district. "It's Mickey Mouse, back on top," Newsom added. Walt Disney Studios is headquartered in Burbank, California, but the company holds powerful sway in Florida through the jobs and tourists Disney World brings. News broke this week that a law giving the Florida governor power to take over Disney World's governing board is likely toothless. In the immortal words of Snow White: "Payback's a bitch, yo." Or was it Cinderella? - Ten years ago in C&J: April 4, 2013 CHEERS to good spellin'. Over the weekend 12 year-old Brandon Aponte of Brooklin (that's over yonder in Hancock County) won the Maine State Spelling Bee. The winning word: "Crambo." Aponte now hoofs it to D.C. for the National Spelling Bee in May. For those of you wondering, the definition of "Crambo" is: what Rambo did in high school the night before a big test. - And just one more… CHEERS to following the bouncing balls. Now that the final shots have been made into the—to use Ted Cruz's term—“basketball ring,” we can now announce the victors in 2023's NCAA greedy money grab posing as wholesome college basketball tournaments. As we mentioned yesterday, the women of LSU defeated the Iowa Hawkeyes 102-85. And last night the men's championship went to UConn (over San Diego State 76-59). Showoff. And now that this year's March Madness is all over (in April, yes, thank you, we're aware of that), it's time to take the final step: you must now pour your shredded brackets into a bowl and eat them. [Munch Munch Munch…gulp.] We'll speak no more of it. Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Toddler reasoning is the best way to describe it, if one assumes good faith, which one shouldn't, in Cheers and Jeers. —Atrios - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/4/2161670/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Tuesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/