(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-04-05 Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 5, 2023 Note: Due to a sinus infection, the Easter Bunny is unable to deliver candy and eggs this year. For your safety, please lock your family in the bathroom until the Easter Illegally-Cloned Wooly Mammoth has left. We also recommend you put your homeowner's insurance agent on speed dial. - By the Numbers: 9 days!!! Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend: 51 Days 'til the San Joaquin Asparagus Festival in California: 9 Percent of Americans polled by CNN who are cool with the 34 Trump indictments, including 62% of self-described independents: 60% Date on which it became legal to carry a concealed weapon in Florida without a permit: 4/3/23 Total amount refunded to taxpayers by the IRS so far this year, $16 billion less than this point last year: $172 billion Size of the average refund this year, $360 less than last year: $2,903 Years as of this month since Martin Cooper made the first call with a cellphone—"the size of a brick"—in Manhattan: 50 - Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 5 climate calamities and 1 perfect gift idea for all the Easter kiddos on your gift list you hate). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today. - Puppy Pic of the Day: Baby herding… - CHEERS to the wheels of justice. I saw them turn yesterday! And I didn’t even need a microscope to see it happen. And it was so banal, really. Turned himself in to the authorities. Got processed at the police desk. Entered a courtroom with his lawyers. Pleaded 'not guilty.’ Then a bunch of blah blah blah and date setting and so on and so forth. Then the judge’s gavel went "Thwack!" and the defendant was ushered out of the courtroom and allowed to go back home pending trial. But enough about the lawsuit against my neighbor for not returning my lawnmower. Anyone hear how the Trump indictment went? CHEERS to how the Trump indictment went! He’s charged on 34 counts of crimey business involving sex (with two female biological units!) , campaign finance fraud, ketchup abuse, falsifying records (and CDs and 8-track tapes), and that hair. The judge set the trial date for October 27, 2039, after which the 45th president flew back to Florida to grift ‘n golf while he awaits either indictments in the other investigations or a fatal heart attack. His cult failed to do any insurrecting, as they’re fully aware that a Democrat controls our F-16s and Abrams tanks. The media made the whole thing so boring that I stopped paying attention right after I heard the words “What’s your opinion, Andrea Mitchell?” and toodled off to watch random patches of paint dry. (But not the semi-glosses, as I’m trying to keep my blood pressure in check.) CHEERS to Great Moments in Medicine. On April 5, 1933, the first operation to remove a lung was performed by Dr. Evarts Graham at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. Unfortunately the patient was just there to visit his grandmother, but the point is: Progress! - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Look out: baby on board! 📣 We're happy to announce one of our squirrel monkeys recently gave birth to an adorable baby! The baby was born to 8-year-old Gizmo, an experienced mom, and 8-year-old Zeus. pic.twitter.com/FCdsiOgmo6 — Brookfield Zoo (@brookfield_zoo) April 3, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS and JEERS to the election night scorecard. First the good news: a huge sigh of relief!!! Wisconsin officially joined the Union again after insurrection supporter Dan Kelly got trounced by liberal Judge Janet Protasiewicz in the Wisconsin state Supreme Court race, officially ending the era of the Republican carnage and chaos coalition ushered in by manbearpig Scott Walker. Last night I suggested celebrating by drinking melted cheddar cheese from a champagne flute and my Twitter feed exploded. Needless to say, I got no love from the National Atherosclerosis Awareness Association account. Judge Janet reigns supreme. Then Brandon Johnson defeated public school system wrecker Paul Vallas in the Chicago mayor's race. Another big win and, oddly, a legitimate chance for Democrats to drive a car with the bumper sticker Let's Go Brandon. Then there's the third race apparently no one knew about. In North Carolina, Democratic state Rep. Tricia Cotham was defeated by now-Republican state Rep. Tricia Cotham, and yes that's the same lady, and yes she was not on any ballot, and yes you guessed by now that she switched parties. And now the North Carolina MAGA cult will have a veto-proof majority in the southern state that was just starting to get it’s butt off the mat after the soul-deadening Pat McCrory years. So in the end we went two-for-three last night. One big disappointment down south has us feelin' blue, but at least the other two races in the upper Midwest have us seein' blue. CHEERS to the new crew. In the immortal words of Buzz Aldrin when he first stepped onto the moon: “Oh, goody goody gumdrop!” The crew of astronauts who will travel to (but not land on) the moon in the Artemis II spacecraft next year was announced this week. And although the Mainer in contention failed to make the cut, we'll still offer a polite golf clap to… NASA’s Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover and Christina Koch, and Jeremy Hansen of the Canadian Space Agency. Wiseman is a 47-year-old decorated naval aviator and test pilot who was first selected to be a NASA astronaut in 2009. A native of Baltimore, Maryland, he’s completed one prior spaceflight, a 165-day trip to the International Space Station. […] Hansen, 47, is a fighter pilot who was selected by the Canadian Space Agency for astronaut training in 2009. … He will be the first Canadian ever to travel to deep space. NASA astronauts Christina Hammock Koch, Reid Wiseman (seated), Victor Glover, and Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen. The orange is in honor of Daily Kos, many people are saying. Glover is a 46-year-old naval aviator who returned to Earth from his first spaceflight in 2021 after piloting the second crewed flight of SpaceX’s Crew Dragon spacecraft and spending nearly six months aboard the International Space Station. Koch, 44, is a veteran of six spacewalks—including the first all-female spacewalk in 2019. She holds the record for the longest single spaceflight by a woman, with a total of 328 days in space. If all goes according to plan, a fifth astronaut will be added for a separate mission. Ted Cruz will be the “honorary” solo pilot of the first and only mission of the catapult-fired space pod named Quick Climb In Here Ted There’s Free BBQ Ribs And Don’t Forget To Shut The Door Behind You. It will be departing—[Checks notes]—as soon as possible. - Ten years ago in C&J: April 5, 2013 JEERS to Kim Jong Un-hinged. And now a brief message to the world from North Korea's spoiledest brat: "Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Huh huh? [Poke Poke Poke!] Does that bother you? Huh huh??? [Poke Poke Poke!] Really? [Poke Poke Poke!] It does? That's too bad! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! I know you are but what am I? I think you eat poop, you poop eaters! Poopy poopy...I said poopy!" Hey, China: control your kid. - And just one more… CHEERS to 18 years of front-page silliness. On April 5 in The Year Of Our Lord 2005, sixteen months after our debut in the Daily Kos diaries, this little column got promoted to the front page by Keyboard Kingpin Markos Moulitsas, who was clearly in the middle of a judgment-clouding bender. He suggested that C&J would be a nice morning wake-up feature for the blog’s readers—the east-coasters especially, given that most of the front-page contributors back then lived out west and slept in past noon, leaving the site in limbo for hours at a time. Me, age 4, at my first typewriter circa 1968. I taught Woodward and Bernstein everything they know. What happened the first time I used the keys to the front page is now the stuff of legend. I posted C&J from my desk at work, then went to a meeting, then went to lunch, then came back to find an email from Kos asking me why I did something horrible with my html formatting (remember those days?) that stretched the front page margins across three time zones. You could almost see his arm reaching through the pixels to strangle me. I'm happy to say that's the one and only time I broke the blog, and I shall carve the accomplishment on my tombstone. Through the years C&J has helped humanity weather the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars, the Katrina catastrophe, the Great Recession, the presidency of—I swear this is true—failed businessman Donald Trump, a global pandemic, the Russo-Ukraine War and its attached atrocities, and spy balloons. But, hey, how about them Obama years, and now the Biden Recovery! So whether you're a long-time splasher or a relative newcomer, thank you for reading and financially supporting this snarky little pimple on the blogiverse's butt. I promise to continue focusing on the liberal issues you care about in a serious and sober manner. Just as soon as I run out of fart jokes and squirrel pics. Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “Such a Freakin’ Idiot”: Markos Moulitsas’ Inner Circle Reportedly Can’t Stand “Loudmouth” Bill in Portland Maine —Mediaite - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/5/2161917/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/