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Caturday Pootie Diary: A portrait of the cat in zoomies [1]

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Date: 2023-04-08  

It’s a little difficult to get momentum on the wood floor since there is nothing for my claws to grab onto. Sometimes I really miss the carpet. Mostly when I’m trying to run downstairs.

After scrabbling around for a few seconds I gained some speed and raced from the hallway to the living room. A double lap around the outside edge of that room and I felt great. Like I was flying.

“Oooh zoomies!” the human cried from the other room.

I ignored her. I had no time to talk.

I shot out of the living room at top speed and followed the wall on my left to the kitchen. I made a sharp turn to keep the wall on my left and flew around the room. The scent of kibble and my long ago finished breakfast wafted over me as I leapt over my food dishes. I misjudged slightly and my back paw caught the edge of the water dish, tipping it over and making the fur of my back legs damp.

“Freddie!” the human admonished.

She was too late. I was already out of the kitchen, such was my speed.

I ran straight into the room where the human was resting. Her feet were up, and her lap was covered in the blanket I like. It was a tempting sight. I do like to curl up there.

But the speed had me in its grip and I could do nothing but give in to it.

I ran straight at the wall and stopped suddenly. My ears were pinned to my head and I looked up at the ceiling. I heard a mighty yowl rise up from my throat as my tail whipped from side to side.

Behind me, the human was rising from her rest, muttering about cats who make messes.

I turned and sprinted toward her, veering off at the last second so as not to get tangled in her freakishly long legs and giant, clumsy feet.

She swore loudly, pinwheeling her arms in an attempt to stay upright. I was never sure how she stayed upright at the best of times. Humans are odd, with their too few legs and tall, fragile backs.

She yelled after me, but I was already up the stairs.

The stairs and the upstairs bedrooms were carpeted, so I could really open up at full speed. I grabbed the fibers in my front claws and propelled myself forward, my back legs in powerful synchronicity.

I’m fast.

I’m not sure you really understand.

Ask Electra. She knows.

She’s fast too.

And there is so much joy found in speed.

Run.

Run.

Run.

Run run run

Runrunrunrunrunrun

STOP

Groom the left back leg, urgently.

YOWWWWWWLLLLLL

RUN

I was downstairs with very little memory of getting there. The human and I regarded each other.

“Got it out of your system?” she asked.

I started to answer, then quickly twisted around to give my tail a quick, cleansing series of licks. I turned back to her.

“For now,” I said.

Happy Caturday, Peeps! And happy various Spring holidays! Freddie and I plan to spend the weekend relaxing with the occasional burst of intense exercise.

[END]
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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/8/2162776/-Caturday-Pootie-Diary-A-portrait-of-the-cat-in-zoomies

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