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Trump Says He Declassified Stolen Documents, Perhaps We Might Know Why [1]

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Date: 2023-04-12  

Well one of life's great mysteries has finally been solved. For many long months we have heard Trump blather on and on about how he magically declassified documents he stole from America with the power of his mind, or by taking them home, or whatever. I don't read Fake Twitter or watch Fox “News," nor do I communicate with anyone who does, so my knowledge about what Trump said exactly is third or fourth hand, at best. But anyone who has been paying the slightest bit of attention to the stolen documents saga who is not a red hatted DJT for life cultist probably wonders the same thing I do. Why won't he shut up about this declassification voodoo nonsense??



Dude, read the law you are accused of violating, it says nothing about classification status. And yes I am aware that Trump does not read, but I still yell it at the TV screen or radio. It’s cathartic. Your defense should be “ where did all these boxes come from?"

Anyway, tonight I was watching some news channels that are not being sued for lying to their viewers, and they reported that SC Smith is asking witnesses if Trump showed people that classified map we heard about a while back. The one that had secrets the government doesn’t want anyone knowing.



So I guess Trump was showing that thing to everyone with eyes and more money than him in an effort to garner some stolen gravitas. I am making that a thing by the way. It’s like stolen valor, but importance instead of bravery. The official picture will be a photo of DJT holding a blurred out map next to this definition. "When a person possessing low self esteem attempts to falsely assume or imbue themselves with a sense of importance by associating themselves with actually important people or objects.”

At some point one of the people he showed the super secret map to probably told Trump “wow, that is really cool but you know the DOJ goes after people for accidentally taking home classified documents when they don't even show them to anyone, right? You are doing this on purpose. They are going to come after you hard, my man.” Then Trump panicked and decided to taint the jury pool by repeating his magical declassification lie. His lawyers, as they were, thought that plan was brilliant. And here we are.

The preceding two paragraphs are informed speculation. That is also a thing. Nobody knows why Trump does anything for sure so almost any explanation of his behavior is: informed speculation. Don't blame me for that one.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/12/2163659/-Trump-Says-He-Declassified-Stolen-Documents-Perhaps-We-Might-Know-Why

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