(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-04-19 9. You people started all this. Yes you did, by hiring me in the first place back in 2007. I mean come on, this is your doing! 4. Sorry about #9. My valerian, kava kava, and lemon balm happy-time supplements haven't kicked in yet, so I’m running on nothing but Dewar’s and horny goat weed at the moment. 10. I'm "small enough to know you, large enough to serve you" 6. Giving me money would be socialism, which would drive the other side bonkers. So it's a unique opportunity to "own the cons." Do it! Do it! 1. Sure, I've been called a "flagrant commie traitor nose picker" by right wing media. But PolitiFact totally exonerated me by deeming the claim only "Partly True." 5. I forget this one. I think it's something something something your own seat on the Supreme Court or $5 off your next oil change. 8. Most important: C&J is a pie fight-free zone. If you're in the mood to keep us going for another period of time, here are the PayPal options: One time contribution: click here. $5 monthly contribution: click here $10 monthly contribution: click here $20 monthly contribution: click here - To send a donation via snail mail, the address is: Bill Harnsberger, 16 Pitt Street, Portland, ME, 04103. If you're already a C&J monthly subscriber through PayPal and you want to continue, you don’t have to do anything but feel good about your investment. Thanks again for supporting America’s longest-running kiddie pool-based blog post. And now, our feature presentation… - Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 19, 2023 Note: Your call is very important to us. Please hold while the next available representative prepares a snack, smokes a butt, writes a shitty pulp novel that he can’t sell, and then spends the night sobbing in his ice cream during a Facts of Life marathon. Thank you for your patience. We’re hanging up now. Goodbye. [Click.] - By the Numbers: 9 days!!! Days 'til International Workers’ Day: 12 Days 'til the Washington State Apple Blossom Festival in Wenatchee: 9 Number of times House Speaker Kevin McCarthy received applause during his Monday debt-limit speech on Wall Street: 1 Rank of health care and inflation among top concerns of Americans surveyed by Primerica, flip-flopping their positions from the previous survey: #1, #2 Increase in first-quarter profits for JPMorgan Chase bank: 52% Years Phantom of the Opera ran on Broadway before closing this month after 13,981 performances: 35 Number of those performances during which Lowell Hershey played trumpet in the pit orchestra: 10,000 - Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (including 4 volcanoes and 1 crucifix-based double head bonk). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today. - Puppy Pic of the Day: Tis the season… - CHEERS and JEERS to cashing in at the starting bell. A Delaware courtroom echoed with opening murmers as the defamation case brought by Dominion Voting Systems finally got underway yesterday. This is the trial in which the judge already ruled that it's a given that Fox's on-air mouth holes lied about everything related to the 2020 election, including crap that the likes of Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell spewed. Dominion just needed to prove that Fox is guilty of actual malice. To that end, here's a brief recap of yesterday's big event: Dominion Lawyers: We accept your monetary settlement and require you to admit no wrongdoing on the air. Fox Lawyers: Fine. We'll have Rupert’s secretary take your award out of her petty cash drawer and send it to you in nickels. We look forward to propagandizing this settlement as the FOX NEWS WIN OF THE CENTURY...if we bother to mention it at all. Nice pile of cash. But now what am I gonna do with this pile of popcorn? P.S. For another take... x When the Smartmatic lawsuit settles too, Fox News will likely end up paying close to $2 billion because Trump was a flaccid baby who couldn’t admit he lost and made his media ally spread defamatory lies. Rupert should sue Trump to recover the money. — Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) April 18, 2023 Okay. Please proceed. JEERS to the calamity du jour. Well, ladies and gentlemen, your new Republican majority in the esteemed House of Representatives has decided that we all must suffer. Because of—to use CNN's words—"a debt trap [Speaker Kevin McCarthy] has set for President Joe Biden that is instead threatening to capture his House Republicans,” the likelihood of expanding the waistband in the debt ceiling's pants is looking iffier by the day. As a service to you from the financial experts here at C&J, we offer some pointers to get you through this difficult period: DO: remain calm DON'T: kick the cat DO: openly express disgust with the actions of House Republicans. Heck, and Senate Republicans while you're at it. DON'T: go on a solo multi-state bank robbing spree DO: pick me up so I can join you on your multi-state bank robbing spree DON'T: forget to gas up the car first DO: bring enough snacks for both of us DON'T: tell anyone that our guns are carved out of bars of soap and made to look real with shoe polish Plus: DON'T try to fly, eat, drink, pee, poop, get educated, get healthy, be a woman or a child, get a weather forecast or feel safe, as these could all make the debt ceiling situation worse. Also the pope wants to come with us to rob banks, so bring an extra bar of soap and a stocking mask. CHEERS to a good thumpin’. On April 19, 1775—a day after Paul Revere & Co.’s famous ride—our War of Independence began in Massachusetts (or, if you’re Michele Bachmann, New Hampshire) with a brief skirmish at Lexington, an engagement at Concord’s North Bridge, and guerrilla warfare as we chased the redcoats (Really, guys? Red? Bright red? Lemme guess: your uniforms were designed by a committee) back to Boston: After searching Concord for about four hours, the British prepared to return to Boston, located 18 miles away. By that time, almost 2,000 militiamen—known as minutemen for their ability to be ready on a moment’s notice—had descended to the area, and more were constantly arriving. At first, the militiamen simply followed the British column. Fighting started again soon after, however, with the militiamen firing at the British from behind trees, stone walls, houses and sheds. Before long, British troops were abandoning weapons, clothing and equipment in order to retreat faster. Route of the first Boston Marathon. The colonists did not show great marksmanship that day. As many as 3,500 militiamen firing constantly for 18 miles only killed or wounded roughly 250 Redcoats, compared to about 90 killed and wounded on their side. Nevertheless, they proved they could stand up to one of the most powerful armies in the world. By the following summer, a full-scale war of independence had broken out. And today we’re still fighting wars. Depending on which side you’re on: against women, secularism, scamvangelists, immigrants, Anglo-Saxon fetishists, drag queens, fast food, guns, white supremacist terrorists, drugs, freedom, terror, lady parts, the deep state, education, capitalism, cancel culture, the poor, liberals, conservatives, Asians, Hispanics, blacks, gays, transfolks, seniors, the 99 percent, the 1 percent, and Christmas. But, after 20 years, at least not Afghanistan anymore. Hooray. Sweets and flowers for everyone. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to Evolution Man. Charles Darwin started out as a single wriggly cell in 1808, evolved into a fully-grown human being, and died on April 19, 1882. His legacy is always worth revisiting: Influenced by the ideas of Malthus, he proposed a theory of evolution occurring by the process of natural selection. The animals (or plants) best suited to their environment are more likely to survive and reproduce, passing on the characteristics which helped them survive to their offspring. Gradually, the species changes overtime. History’s verdict on Charles Darwin: great naturalist, but excessively grumpy mall Santa. [T]he logical extension of Darwin‘s theory was that homosapiens was simply another form of animal. It made it seem possible that even people might just have evolved—quite possibly from apes—and destroyed the prevailing orthodoxy on how the world was created. Darwin was vehemently attacked, particularly by the Church. However, his ideas soon gained currency and have become the new orthodoxy. Of course, there are some organisms that demonstrate evolution can work in reverse. Like dust mites. And Republican governors. JEERS to today's edition of Sadly, That Was A Short Revolution. Via NBC News: Iran is attempting to reimpose strict dress codes months after a wave of unrest following the death of a young woman who had been detained by morality police saw women and girls remove their headscarves in protest. Over the weekend, thousands of text messages were sent to business owners and drivers, reminding them of the renewed crackdown on women not wearing hijabs, the head coverings worn by some Muslim women, according to the Iranian state broadcaster IRIB News. Officials also announced that people who encourage women to remove their hijabs would be prosecuted. This has been today's edition of Sadly, That Was A Short Revolution. - Ten years ago in C&J: April 19, 2013 CHEERS to the comforter in chief. The president and first lady will travel to Boston to attend a memorial service for the three people—one of them an eight year-old boy—who were killed in the Boston Marathon blasts. It's really depressing how often POTUS and FLOTUS have been called on to facilitate healing in the wake of violence—Arizona, Aurora, Newtown, now Boston. While the president's presence and eloquence will be a comfort, it almost makes me wonder if we should have a new cabinet position: Secretary of Grieving. Sadly, that person would be among the busiest members of the administration. - And just one more… CHEERS to the keepers of the great orange overnight flame. It’s an act of courage and/or audacity to commit to writing a daily series here at Daily Kos, but it’s downright Herculean when you look in the rear-view mirror and see that your series has blown past the decade-and-a-half mark. So please join me in wishing the team (Neon Vincent, Magnifico, side pocket, Chitown Kev, HoundDog, maggiejean, annetteboardman, BentLiberal, Interceptor7, jck, eeff and Besame—did I miss anyone?) responsible for publishing the Overnight News Digest—first posted on April 19, 2007—a happy 16th blogiversary. Having done my share of overnight shifts at various radio stations, I know there’s a real appreciation for having a gaggle of regulars to engage with while most people are catching their forty winks. So we salute the OND crew for keeping the Great Orange Satan’s lights on into the wee hours for so long. If you're burning the midnight oil or dealing with a bit of insomnia, stop by for a cuppa chamomile with a splash of Dewar's and some good conversation. But as I said back in 2007: keep the noise down or I’m calling the cops. Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "We're here today in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool for one reason and one reason only: Bill in Portland Maine is doing the bidding for Markos Moulitsas." —Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-NY) - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/19/2164447/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/