(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1] ['Backgroundurl Avatar_Large', 'Nickname', 'Joined', 'Created_At', 'Story Count', 'N_Stories', 'Comment Count', 'N_Comments', 'Popular Tags', 'Showtags Popular_Tags'] Date: 2023-04-27 3. A Maryland truck driver wearing a gas mask who admitted that he took a loaded gun with hollow-point bullets to the Capitol, and who said "instinct took over" when he charged police with a makeshift battering ram, is charged with felony civil disorder, felony assaulting, and resisting officers. 4. The New York moron known by internet sleuths as "pinman," who crushed D.C. police officer Daniel Hodges in a capitol doorway with a police shield, is sentenced to over seven years in prison. 5. The North Dakota woman who shouted “Warriors for Jesus, chaaaaaarge!” while dressed in a banana costume and brandishing a bat with a spike through it is charged with felony assault. She plans to appeel. 6. A former bodybuilder and romance-novel cover model who dragged a police officer down the stairs of the U.S. Capitol is sentenced to three years in prison after being identified by online nerds using facial recognition to turn up images of him at bodybuilding competitions. 7. A Nevada "sovereign citizen" resembling SNL’s Goat Boy, and who busted a window and used a table leg to assault police officers, is sentenced to six years in prison and fined $43,000. 8. A Florida Green-Beret-turned-Oath-Keepers-terrorist is sentenced to seven years behind bars for possession of guns and grenades. 9. A grandmother from an Indiana MAGA-themed knitting circle is charged with assault after using a makeshift slingshot to pelt police officers with Rolaids from her purse. 10. A former Boston K-9 unit police officer—and it's the former police officers and soldiers involved in the insurrection who are the ones I think should face the highest penalties—is arrested and charged with felonies including obstruction of law enforcement and assault. Answers: All of them really happened except #5 and #9. (But we’re not ruling them out as a future possibility.) Our thanks to Joe Jervis at the Joe.My.God. blog for keeping track of how the idiotest of the idiots—over a thousand now—are getting rolled up. And now, our feature presentation… - Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, April 27, 2023 Note: Due to a totally-foreseen accident involving a testicle tanner, an army of ferrets in red jumpsuits, and a derailed freight train hauling spy blimps, there will be no C&J on Monday. Back Tuesday to defer all questions about the incident to my attorney. —Mgt. - By the Numbers: 8 days!!! Days 'til School Lunch Hero Day: 8 Days 'til the Great Bay Food Truck Festival in Stratham New Hampshire: 9 Percent of Americans polled by CBS News who said Bill Clinton (in 1995) and Joe Biden (2023), respectively, should not run for reelection: 40%, 45% Amount of its value Fox News lost after firing Tucker Carlson: $500 million Percent of U.S. GDP that UPS moves every day: 6% Percent chance that ABC News is firing Nate Silver but keeping his site FiveThirtyEight going: 100% Age of Carol Burnett as of this week: 90 - Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment: My favorite running story these days is the Year 2000 Problem. This is the wonderful news that come midnight Dec. 31, 1999, all computers will tick over a notch and announce that it is Jan. 1, 1900. If you believe the most dire analyses of the consequences of this slight misunderstanding, planes will then fall from the sky, ballistic missiles will run amok, global financial markets will crash, hospital life-support systems will shut down, your microwave won't work, your Pontiac won't start, and in general, a fine time will be had by all. —April, 1997 - Puppy Pic of the Day: Uncooperative limb... - CHEERS to the word of the day (and the week, month, and year). I'm not writing much about the 2024 election yet because 1) it's too early, 2) it's too early, and 3) IT'S TOO DAMN EARLY!!! But when Dark Brandon re-throws his hat in the ring for another four years, ya gotta say something about it. So here's a quick word on the campaign message Team Biden will be focused on, and I think it's a good one: freedom. As the MAGA cult ratchets up its restrictions and/or outright bans on science, learning, non-Christians, health care, voter rights, minorities, and the very notion of majority rule—shamelessly and in front of our very eyes—our side says we'll protect and respect your right to forge your own path. Steve Benen at the Rachel Maddow blog adds some meat to the bone: Ahead of his successful Democratic gubernatorial election in Pennsylvania last year, Josh Shapiro told The Atlantic, “It has frustrated me that Republicans love to cloak themselves in this blanket of freedom and feel as though they own it somehow, when in fact what they are selling to the people of Pennsylvania, or the American people, really isn’t freedom at all. It’s far bigger government and more control over people’s everyday lives.” x x YouTube Video Joe’s first TV ad of his reelection campaign. In other words, Democrats are ready for a fight over which party can claim the mantle of “freedom.” As Biden’s new message helps show, it’s a fight Democrats think they can win. And the MAGA cult has made it easy, from the ghastly footage of the insurrection, to the Supreme Court's repeal of Roe, to the conservatives' nationwide war against LGBTQers, public schools, and the environment. Thanks to the permission slip given them by their doughy false idol in the orange makeup, they have no plans to even pretend to put a moderate spin on their lunacy. So it's freedom versus fascism. I like our chances. CHEERS to today's Big Important Ukraine Update. After scouring all the mainstream media outlets, armchair-general sites, reddit chat rooms, sub-reddit chatrooms, sub-sub-reddit chatrooms, ether chambers, nether chambers, intercepted IMs, confiscated DMs, radio chatter, satellite photos, inventory lists, and letters from Mom, here's what we absolutely know about what's happening in Ukraine: I dunno. Go ask Mark or Kos. Our next update tomorrow morning, upon which I'll show off my shiny new Pulitzer for war reporting. CHEERS to Coretta Scott King. Today is the 96th birthday of the late Mrs. MLK, Jr.: Her remarkable partnership with Dr. King resulted not only in four children, who became dedicated to carrying forward their parent’s work, but also in a life devoted to the highest values of human dignity in service to social change. January 19, 2004: Coretta Scott King speaks during Martin Luther King Jr.’s 75th birthday commemoration at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. Mrs. King traveled throughout the world speaking out on behalf of racial and economic justice, women’s and children’s rights, gay and lesbian dignity, religious freedom, the needs of the poor and homeless, full-employment, health care, educational opportunities, nuclear disarmament and environmental justice. She lent her support to pro-democracy movements world-wide and consulted with many world leaders, including Corazon Aquino, Kenneth Kaunda, and Nelson Mandela. Said Mrs. King: "Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated." I guess that explains why I see so many Trump cultists hobbling around on crutches these days. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Wow, just amazing!! pic.twitter.com/Vil3HXi3nd — Interesting As Fuck (@InterestingsAsF) April 24, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to the cigar-chomper who saved the Union. Happy 201st birthday to “#18” Ulysses S. Grant, the larger-than-life general who helped win the Civil War and then spent 8 shaky years as a crony-loving president. But at least he had this going for him, which I love quoting every chance I get (from the book Rating the Presidents): [H]e kept his own religious values and practice to himself. In the larger view for the country, he believed in a strict separation of church and state, stating in his seventh annual message to Congress: "Declare church and state forever separate and distinct; but each free within their proper spheres." Pay your respects here. He's buried in someone's tomb…I forget whose. CHEERS to toting the tykes. Today is the 30th Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. It's a time to show the kiddies how Mom and Dad's productivity gets cranked up to the max, while their paychecks do not. What fun! I believe I speak on behalf of the entire nation when I say to children of the military personnel who control our nukes: please don’t push any blinking red buttons or turn any keys. Well, unless the code's been authenticated, of course. CHEERS to pigskin fever! Round 1 of the NFL draft is today. Moments after he hears the word "draft," Ted Nugent will instinctively respond by shitting his pants. - Ten years ago in C&J: April 27, 2013 CHEERS to a clean sweep. Thanks to yesterday's votes in the Rhode Island legislature, gay marriage is legal in every state in New England. Not every state in the midwest. Not every state in the south. Or the southwest. Or the northwest. Or the breadbasket. Or the mid-Atlantic. Nope. The first region to go the Full Equality is New England WHOOOO!!!! Democratic Sen. Donna Nesselbush, the chamber's sole out member, introduced the debate on the bill, saying it would impact her more personally than any other bill and adding, with a laugh, "I even wore a dress." All five Republicans in the chamber voted for the bill, which supporters said was the first time an entire party delegation in a chamber has voted for a marriage equality bill. ... The final speech before the vote, however, came from Sen. Maryellen Goodwin, who said the she struggled with the issue, noting, "I've been unable to sleep." After detailing her pride in her Roman Catholic faith, Goodwin pointed to elsewhere in the Bible for her guidance, concluding, "I will be casting my vote today on the side of love, Madame President." In short order you'll be able to throw rice and blenders at same-sex couples in Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. Not that we're bragging. Well…maybe a little. - And just one more… CHEERS to swearing in class. Can't let today go by without noting one of the most awesome exchanges in senate committee hearing history. On April 27, 2010, during a grilling of Goldman Sachs executives, the late Senator Carl Levin enshrined a new catchphrase into our national lexicon while quoting an internal email: "Boy, that was one shitty deal." Relive the squirming of this bankster worm: - Goldman Sachs made billions out of that scheme, by the way. And, if memory serves, all we commoners got out of it was a new catchphrase that’s fun to say but worth about as much as a condo next to Chernobyl reactor #4. Now that’s a shitty deal. Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial You’re Delusional If You Think Bill in Portland Maine Will Be More Powerful Without Daily Kos —Mediaite - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/4/27/2165887/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Thursday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/