(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . "Am I going to die?" [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-05-31 I think we all understand that disinformation is one of the biggest problems we have in our country, and our political system, right now. I don't think there's anyone who doubts that willful disinformation will kill our democracy if we allow it to. I certainly don't. I've seen blood pool on the floor during an emergency C-section, desperately trying to save someone who didn't have access to prenatal care. I've seen women almost die from ruptured ectopic pregnancies, simply because crisis pregnancy centers are allowed to exist. I've treated kids with multiple gunshot wounds and had to listen to people tell me what we actually need are more guns to solve that problem. I've had people beg me for the COVID vaccine as they were dying of an entirely preventable disease. That last one. COVID truly shone a light on just how weaponized disinformation has become. I watched dozens of people die from an infection we had a highly effective vaccine for; die because of a billion dollar campaign waged by the very same people who pushed emergency department nurses out of the way to get vaccinated. There was one case in particular I'd like to tell you about that almost broke me- that almost made me leave nursing entirely. It was late 2021, at the peak of the Delta COVID surge. The Delta strain was the deadliest we saw, and it went like clockwork: day 8-10 post infection was "make or break". Either you made it through that… or you ended up in the ER. And people were sick. So sick. I had been working overtime, 60-70 hours a week, for almost three months straight at this point. And the day this case happened was not going well. We were as busy as we'd ever been. We had to put multiple people on ventilators, intubate them with breathing tubes, on one shift. And during all of that, a rural EMS squad brought a patient in. A young patient; with kids in school. And they were not doing well. I got the report from the medic. The patient had been diagnosed with COVID, alongside much of his family after Thanksgiving; he’d seen his doctor, who wouldn't prescribe him hydroxychloroquine or ivermectin, so the patient sourced them for himself. Not surprisingly, they didn't work. So the patient began buying over the counter oxygen bottles from Lowes; so many, in fact, the EMS crew said they had to wade through them covering the floor like they were hiking Mount Everest. The patient was doing what we call tripoding- leaning forward to make a triangle shape with his body and hands, to attempt to open his lungs- and was breathing sixty times a minute or more, struggling, breathing so hard in a desperate attempt to stay alive. And it quickly became apparent we'd probably have to intubate him. Our code and respiratory team were with another patient in similarly dire straits, so I began to get everything ready, rushing to get the supplies we'd need to put them on a ventilator. As I was in the middle of doing all this, the patient reached out and grabbed my arm. Surprised, I turned to see him looking me straight in the eyes. Through my PPE, through all of my protective gear. And then he asked me a question. One single question. "Am I going to die?" When you're struggling to breathe, getting five words out can take ten or fifteen seconds. Recuperating from asking it can take several times as long. And though he was working as hard as he could to breathe, to simply stay alive, his eyes never left mine. I knew the likely answer, of course. I knew what I'd been seeing in the ER for months. I knew how many people made it home after being intubated with Delta COVID. But I did my level best. I told the patient we were going to take good care of him. That we were going to do everything we could for him. And even though my voice never broke or faltered from the confident tenor I've developed over a decade and a half in healthcare to reassure people who are terrified... he saw my eyes. He saw my eyes. And he knew the answer to his question. After he'd recuperated from the exertion it took to ask that, over the course of another minute or two, he said aloud- to me, himself, to nobody in particular, I'll never know for sure- "My kids. My wife." And the very last thing he ever said was, "I really screwed up, didn't I?" When intubation drugs kick in, when the paralytics and sedatives kick in, you can watch as the lights in someone's eyes get dimmer and dimmer, and then disappear entirely. And I watched as the lights went out in his eyes for the final time. He stayed in our ICU for awhile. Every day I worked, I checked on him. I'd come in early or stay late, find my way down to the ICU, and spend a few minutes staring at him through his room door. Wishing. Praying. Hoping, every day, hoping beyond all hope that the miraculous had happened. He'd be off his breathing tube. His family- his wife and kids- would be crowded around him. He'd get to be wheeled through a hallway of cheering nurses, doctors, CNAs, and EMTs as he was discharged from the hospital. But it wasn't to be. I struggled with that. Tucker Carlson won’t show up for his kids' graduation. Marjorie Taylor Greene wouldn’t be there on the 4th of July. Ron DeSantis will never be there to dote on grandkids. None of them cared about the toll their disinformation took on everyday people. On our friends and neighbors. They only care about themselves. They only care about power for power's sake. And that is ultimately what prompted me to run for office. We have to have people in the corridors of power who are willing to not just call out this kind of disinformation, but to actively fight back against it. Who have seen the cost it has borne on our country and our democracy and will continue to bear on it going forward if we don't stop it in its tracks. We cannot trust anyone- Republican, Democrat, independent, anyone- who is so single mindedly focused on attaining power for power's sake that they'll do anything, move anywhere, say anything, or lie and manipulate to obtain it. That's exactly why I'm running for office. I'm running for the House of Delegates in Virginia to join people like Senator Machaela Cavanaugh in demanding that "the bloody hands be recorded". Like Senator Megan Hunt in being unafraid to tell Republicans "you aren’t a safe person for my child to be around — or any child, frankly." I am running to join a small, but growing, group of people who are standing up to protect their kids and their community because they've seen firsthand the human costs that disinformation is incurring on our neighbors, our friends, our families. If you think we need to be unapologetic in fighting back as hard as we can to protect our kids and our communities- I need you to stand with me. If you think our democracy is on the line, and we cannot afford people who view politics as a vehicle for personal gain; cannot afford those who are willing to lie and tear down anyone who gets in their way- I need you to stand with me. If you think we need someone in the legislature who’s actually provided life-saving abortion care- I need you to stand with me. If you think all of that is experience we HAVE to have in Richmond- I need you to stand with me. Stand with me. And let’s bring progress to Virginia- together. Kellen Squire is an emergency department nurse running for the Virginia House of Delegates in central Virginia. Donate, volunteer, or get the word out about our people-powered campaign, today. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/5/31/2172336/--Am-I-going-to-die Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/