(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1] [] Date: 2023-06-27 Tuesday's Horoscope for Democrats You will enjoy another day of competent leadership, courtesy of accomplished professionals who have the knowledge, skill, and experience to tackle problems in a calm, systematic way, thus allowing you to forge ahead with your life goals without feeling like you're headed off a cliff. Enjoy a delicious treat your taste buds have had their eyes on. Tonight: restful, rejuvenating sleep. - Tuesday's Horoscope for Republicans If you're not arrested for insurrection, election tampering, or sex trafficking, the Jewish space laser will find you and scorch your shorts. Take time to smell the conspiracies before the latest variant of Covid-19 finds your unvaccinated immune system and destroys your olfactory sense. Tonight: the worst sleep of your life, again, as you wrestle with your grifter-made pillow that feels like it’s been stuffed with the bones of roadkill. Have a great day! Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 27, 2023 Note: For your protection, C&J has installed a new atmosphere purification machine, developed by some of my buddies, that eliminates 99.999% of all particulate matter in the air. You will be billed in five easy installments of $19.95 for this service. Also, because our miracle device eliminates 99.999% of all oxygen particles, you have approximately 3 minutes to live. Have a great day. —Mgt. - 4 days!!! By the Numbers: Days 'til Terrorize America's Pets With Fireworks Day: 7 Days 'til the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City, Michigan: 4 U.S. poverty rate in 1983: 15.2% U.S. poverty rate in 2021: 11.6% Percent of Biden judicial nominees Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) has voted in favor of, versus 96 percent of the time for nominees of Clinton, Bush II, Obama, and Trump, according to The Portland Press Herald: 86% Number of low-income Americans benefiting from a government subsidy program to knock $30 off their monthly bill: 19 million Percent of the vote by the Directors Guild of America in favor of a new three year deal, as the writers' strike enters its 9th week: 87% - Puppy Pic of the Day: Remember, in Philadelphia it's pronounced "wooder"…. - CHEERS to weekend drama. Why, Penelope, I do declay-uh, I believe I done seen a drop of flopsweat roll down Colonel Putin's face Saturday. How unseemly! Yes, over the weekend a bunch of Russian mercenary terrorists hired and paid for by Russia's dictator got fed up with him and charged toward Moscow with the goal of making him touch one of his notoriously-poisoned doorknobs and then stand next to one of his notoriously gravity-prone top-floor windows. But it was not to be. The attack was called off, the head of the Wagner militia fled to Belarus, and here we are. So after all that, what do we know for sure? Thanks to the intrepid New York Times, I now know this: Prighozin is pronounced pree-GOH-zhin. Stay tuned as the drama continues to unfold. In today's exciting installment, Putin discovers that pree-GOH-zhin is having his lover's baby but they're really brothers and now that the blackmail plot has been exposed, one of them must be buried alive but then come back as the devil to terrorize the village while still serving as CEO of the Titan clothing empire. Sponsored by Glorious Russia Laundry Soap, now with twice the cleaning power of beets! JEERS to flashbangs at dusk. If you think the weekend was eventful in Russia, you shoulda seen our neighborhood Friday evening. While we were all splashing in the C&J kiddie pool, some 40-something goober from Brunswick decided it would be swell to jump in the jalopy, head down to Portland and go to the Forest Avenue Burger King—three doors down from us and across the street that serves as a major artery in and out of the city—to threaten the drive-thru employee with an AR-15, then park his car in the lot and engage in an armed standoff with police for a couple hours. Among other things, it gave the cops an excuse to haul out the badass armored personnel carrier they procured from the military for pennies on the dollar a decade ago: x The incident lead to a standoff on Friday evening, the witness told NEWS CENTER Maine. https://t.co/zwJa7swmD5 — NEWS CENTER Maine (@newscentermaine) June 24, 2023 Then, around 9:30, bedlam: two flashbangs shook the house, followed seconds later (coincidentally, we presume) by twenty minutes of fireworks from the Portland Sea Dogs baseball stadium. In conclusion: the gun nut—ears a'ringin'—was taken into custody, his car was towed, traffic was restored, the strip mall was released from lockdown, and the neighborhood pets are filing a class action lawsuit for getting the bejeezus scared out of them. I'm joining in. Thus explaining, in case you were wondering, why I'm in this bunny suit. CHEERS to workin' on the wire without a net. On June 27, 1846, New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires for the first time ever. Unfortunately people kept tripping over them, so the following week they invented the telegraph pole. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x A postage stamp honoring the late, great John Lewis was unveiled at Capitol Hill on Wednesday, just under 3 years after the civil rights icon and U.S. rep's passing pic.twitter.com/z6qKOcPJF3 — NowThis (@nowthisnews) June 25, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to pickin' up a seat. Read it and weep, MAGA cultists: we Demonrats just saw our chance of retaking the House next year go up. And, unlike you, we didn’t cheat to do it: The Supreme Court on Monday dismissed Louisiana's appeal seeking to prevent the state's congressional map from being redrawn over claims that it unlawfully dilutes the influence of Black voters. The move via a brief unsigned order was expected after the Supreme Court's ruling on June 8 that buttressed a key part of the landmark Voting Rights Act in a similar case concerning congressional districts in Alabama. […] Oops. Looks like Lauren Boebert is missing another House vote. The Supreme Court's ruling in the Alabama case could lead to a new map being drawn in Louisiana in which Black voters would have a chance to elect their preferred representative in two of the state's six congressional districts instead of one. This is great news. But I just hope the conservatives on the court got permission from their billionaires first. You hate to piss off Daddy. CHEERS to the growing season. A quick reminder that this morning, June 27th, at 10am, everybody—you included—needs to meet at the city square (between the post office and the bank) for the annual lottery. The lottery is fun for the whole family. Well, maybe not for the one who gets the black spot, but other than that…. Please get there promptly (I'm looking at you, Tessie Hutchinson, the breakfast dishes can wait) so we can start picking the ballots out of the hat and determine who has the black spot. Once the action starts, follow the guidelines set by the safety department: lift only those rocks that won’t cause back strain or wrist injury. ("If it's too big for thee, leave it be.") Let's try to finish up by noon so we can all go home and enjoy a nice midday supper, shall we? Also: today is the day to slap a new "Lottery In June, Corn Be Heavy Soon" bumper sticker on your car, per city ordinance. And don’t forget sunscreen—those UV rays can kill ya. - Ten years ago in C&J: June 27, 2013 JEERS to Terrible Tuesday. Yesterday the Federalist Society wing of the Supreme Court hoisted their middle finger to black voters and ripped the beating heart out of the Voting Rights Act. So you can toss another thumb onto the scale of Republican democracy-rigging (in their favor, of course) that includes gerrymandering, filibuster abuse, and state GOP voter-suppression laws that will now spread faster than the Colorado wildfires. But I gotta hand it to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg—in her dissent she unloaded on the court's conservatives: "Hubris is a fit word for today’s demolition of the [Voting Rights Act]." No billionaire sugar daddy ever owned her. "Throwing out preclearance when it has worked and is continuing to work to stop discriminatory changes is like throwing away your umbrella in a rainstorm because you are not getting wet." … "The sad irony of today’s decision lies in its utter failure to grasp why the VRA has proven effective,” she wrote. “The Court appears to believe that the VRA’s success in eliminating the specific devices extant in 1965 means that preclearance is no longer needed. … With that belief, and the argument derived from it, history repeats itself.” The day the minority becomes the majority cannot come fast enough. - And just one more… CHEERS to the Greatest Moment in World History. I grew up with the bleeps and bloops of Atari games ringing in my ears, and to this day I see a shadow image of those iconic graphics every time I blink. Atari marked its first full day as a company 51 years ago today, and for that my inner geek thanks founder and personal Yoda Nolan Bushnell, who a couple years back mused on how far we’ve come since those early glory days, and where video games are headed: - My first addictions on this wacky planet, besides candy cigarettes and Hogan's Heroes, were Missile Command, Battlezone, and Asteroids, each following Bushnell's formula of being "simple to learn but impossible to master." They retain their simple elegance and pulse-quickening qualities five decades later. Go ahead...click to release your inner nerd. Time spent with an Atari classic will not be deducted from your lifespan. Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “I don’t believe in platforming liars, and bigots, and insurrectionists, and election deniers, and putting them on the same footing as Bill in Portland Maine, who is fighting for what’s right.” —Don Lemon - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/27/2177417/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Tuesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/